Warhammer 40K vs Metroid

Nah. The Chozo could probably physically beat up the Chaos gods if they set their minds to it. They're way, way above any daemon level. They're the sort of retarded stronk that only something Japanese can be

>900G

ffFFUUUUCCCKKK that noise man.

Also, X

>Set the metroids upon chaos.

>Send the metroids, energy-eating soul-sucking monstrosities with propensity of mutating horribly against chaos.

>Send the metroids, energy-eating soul-sucking monstrosities with propensity of mutating horribly against a malevolent, corrupting force specialized in controlling, mutating and empowering with eldritch energy those that come in contact with it.

Yeah, that's not ending well for anybody involved, and I'm pretty fond on understatments.

Pic related.

>Activar Windows

It came like this from wherever it was bough, and I'm poor and lazy in equal measure.

How would space pirates fare against the IoM? How about chaos, Tau or Orks?

Get a linux distro.

I would stat space pirates as Tau, so...

>Yeah, that's not ending well for anybody involved, and I'm pretty fond on understatments.
What's the worst that could happen?

>How do they compare?
Poorly. Metroid's primarily concerned with solo adventurers fighting small numbers of enemies. 40k's showing intergalactic war, and has bloated itself to show that off better. You could point towards all manner of bullshit on either sides to try and swing it, but it's not something you can match against one another in an objective manner.

Could the galactic federation take on an imperial navy battlegroup? Maybe.. but we don't know how their ships function, how their FTL works, how large their fleets are, the size of the federation they defend, etc. There's no BFG-style infodump of how shit works, it's all just set dressing.

>the Luminoth can develop weapons capable of *wrinkling space-time* to create miniature black-holes.
for what it's worth, there's an ark mechanicus that does something similar

Why are you browsing Veeky Forums incognito. There's no one in your life who cares enough about what you're doing, and it doesn't hide what you're doing from anyone with the resources to give a shit.

Also, close your fucking tabs, you slob.

There's enough bird magic fuckery to screw up the galaxy. I'm betting the Chozo spawned Tzneench.

Kirby regularly throws down with universal/multiversal cosmic horrors, and manages to come out on top. He would chew through the 40k verse.

Tzeench is just a Chozo having a laff

I browse incognito as a matter of habit, really. Not much else to it.

Also, I'm working on stuff that needs references, and I don't plan on saving them all. My toaster is slow and untidy as it is.

>Metroids get in the warp.
>They bloat on the warp energies, reproduce like crazy, eat the denizers and mutate accordingly.
>Chaos fundamentally changes, becoming more and more 4 orders of metroids eternally consuming each other, while the demons get sidelined or crushed in the conflict.
>A luna-class cruiser prepares to do a warp jump on a routinary patroll, opens a warp portal.
>Metroids everywhere, small metroids, big metroids, ghost metroids, horny metroids, all pouring out of the space wound.
>All across the imperium, whenever a ship attempts to travel more and more metroids emerge.
>Some psykers simply explode, 4-toothed abominations emerging from the still-warm corpse.
>The Eldar decided that the materium is not worth it, and together with the dark kin decide to hide in the webway for the next million years. Some screeching can still be heard from behind the walls.
>The necrons are not amused.
>The orks are content... at first, until it dawns on them that they simply don't have the necessary weapons to face the tide. The entire species routs.
>The tyranids take a look, and leave.

And that's why we do not dump metroids into the warp.

>And that's why we do not dump metroids into the warp.
>Implying that wouldn't be the best ending for the clusterfuck that is 40k.
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if the Chozo consider the entire thing a rousing success, and proceed to share high-fives between each other.

Crazy fucking bird people

The thing about the Metroid universe is that most of what we know about it centers around Samus and the rest is vague science-y or mystical babble. When it sticks to Samus, it's mostly grounded. When it doesn't, "soft sci-fi" does not even begin to describe the nonsense that begins to occur.

For one thing, Metroid FTL is infinitely faster than 40k purely because of two offhand references. First, Super Metroid's instruction booklet casually drops the fact that Ki-hunters are Space Pirates from another galaxy that were brought in to repair Tourian. Then Metroid Prime: Hunters has one line that states it takes place in the Tetra Galaxy. Between these, we now know that everyone who matters can apparently just hop between galaxies whenever they want. Any ship in the Metroid universe can out-raid the Dark Eldar and fly circles around the Necrons with contemptuous ease. They'll just pop behind the extragalactic Tyranid main force and hit them with the "nothin' personnel, kid" then be in Octavius before the Hive Mind can even register a "n-nani?!"

Then there's Metroid Fusion with the concept of "downloadable weapons data" that Samus uses for upgrades. Putting aside that it establishes the Galactic Federation currently has working versions of Samus' entire missile based arsenal as well as Power Bombs and THE VARIA SUIT, they are now apparently capable of sending an email that proceeds to Star Trek replicate missiles and bombs on the other end. Quick reminder that BSL was a research installation equipped with bomb capable of producing a planet sized 'vaporization field.' This is the Galactic Federation, the "tell Samus we can't solve this problem without her" faction.

To say nothing of the Space Pirates and General "turn off the black hole before it destroys the planet, I want to kill them myself" Ridley.

That's pretty rough, yeah, but I consider that a win for Metroidverse.

Samus >>>>> Space Marines >>>>> GFed troopers

What do you think the Tyranids are running from, user?

>"Science Team believes the tyranids can be trained"

And here we see the origin of the Jeanstealer.

X Parasites, Games Workshop, Squats

It seems a lot of Fed tech is based on Chozo tech

You should see the Prime 2 Charge Combos & the Hunters weapons.

Don't forget that in Prime 2, Samus gets a suit capable of traveling along beams of light (made of compressed planetary energies) to reach destinations. The Chozo and Luminoth both have some skills with energy manipulation. The morph ball is basically skipping the limitations of flesh, and just turning Samus into a ball of energy inside the reconfigured suit. So she turns in and out of pure energy every time she needs her suit to compact into a ball and travel in tight areas. The Space Pirates failed to reverse-engineer the Morph Ball due to a poor understanding of the Chozo. They tried to physically compact their test subjects and that just led to death in the auto-fellatio pose at best.

Now, I'm not sure what Warhammer has, but Phazon is some nasty shit. There's a planet that shoots "seeds" that will impact planets and begin to terraform them. The impact from a single seed caused one planets dead chozo to be ripped violently back into the world and their spirits went mad and the ghosts attacked ANYONE that trespassed in their ruins.

A second seed hit a planet full of Luminoth and hit it so hard that it put the planet into dimensional flux. It made two copies of the same planet and the second copy was full of evil parasites known as the Ing. Fuck Phaaze and phazon.

So Samus is a fucking DBZ character outside of armor? You sure you didn't misplace a zero somewhere?

Not that user, but she had her genes spliced as a child by the Chozo. Samus isn't 100% human because of it. She's had her genetic make-up fucked with a few times in the series. Chozo DNA, Phazon corruption, Metroid DNA... When she got the latter, it made her capable of devouring X Parasites. X are capable of infecting hosts and perfectly mimicking them. Like a more dangerous version of The Thing.

I think that's the thing I like the most about Samus Returns. Spoilers/speculation:

Those are clearly Chozo Warriors, who encountered the Chozo Scientists making the Metroids on the planet. The Warriors clearly did not like what was going on there. Chozo lore states "Metroid" basically means "Ultimate Warrior" in their native tongue. The Scientists pulled a "I named him Herakles, after you!" on the Warriors.

It's likely that Metroid Prime did. There's a scan in the series that lists the masses of several planets including Zebes and Tallon IV, all of which are absurdly high. The listed volumes make most close to Earth sized, meaning they're almost 900 times as dense as Earth and would have a similarly multiplied gravitational pull. The gravity is not explicitly stated, but under real life physics would be that high. Retro Studios most likely misplaced the mass prefix with "trillions of teratons" and fans just ran with it.

Note that unaugmented humans can survive on Zebes for a few days, and only die due to the atmosphere being toxic.

Well yeah, I knew that, but that's "can cleave a mountain in half with a karate chop" kinds of shit.

Okay that makes a bit more sense.

The way you describe it makes me recall the Skaven, except vastly more competent and terrifying. Skaven mixed with the Nids. This is the kind of shit that'd end up making another Chaos God. Like a God of Consumption, the Great Devouring One, or something.

>Like a God of Consumption, the Great Devouring One, or something.
I knew that "planet" mode looked familiar...

youtube.com/watch?v=54Y6ayVe1qg

Don't worry. She's still got this.

> Be me
> One hour ago
> Think Steve Jackson is also Steve Jackson
> Get into incredibly flamed argument with some dude that the warhammer dude also made d&d
> Goes on for about half an hour
> Google it
> Oh shit there are two Steve Jackson's
Am I autistic Veeky Forums?

Probably. Also, in the wrong thread.

How did you make you're posting window so big?!?

Woops thought this was the general.

You see that pair of lines in the bottom right corner of the text box? You can click and drag that.

My mind has been blown.

Just let the X parasite run free and see what happens

>+900G
>32 times the surface gravity of the fuckmothering sun
>a planet
No.
I'm fine with soft-sci fudgery but this is 16 levels of "I'm five years old and I think space is super neato!" flavor of retardation.

Throw Phaaze into the mix as well, might as well go full ham with this.

>barring...
So the only way they win is removing a fundamental established part of the universe. But the other setting's own op bs is allowed. Im no chaos fanboy hell my Night lords don't have marks or stars on the models. I dont think for a single second "metroid" stands a chance against orks alone because orky see orky copy. But my issue is with trying to take things from oneto give the others.
... Ok no chao god bs powers but no "metroid" matter replication, or Ftl.

It's not chaos god bs powers that is being left out it's the "lol always win forever" thing that has recently been pushed into lore. They can use all of the crazy shenanigans they want just like the chozo but not even the chozo were in a "never lose because we can't because raisins" state that chaos is currently being promoted as being.

Can x parasite and nids merge together?

I think we're all forgetting the biggest advantage Metroid has over 40k

Downy pubes

God help us if they can. Or if they get some phazon

but 40k is basically "I'm five years old and I think space is super neato!" flavor of retardation.

>40k faggots thinking their setting can beat every setting

Are they even aware that it's just a game ?

Considering how fervantly they defend the shitty space marine design I don't believe so.

Kirbys main means of long distance travle is to jump upon some fucking meteroite and crash-land onto the next planet.

...What would a Space Marine's copy ability be?

>Races like the Luminoth can develop weapons capable of *wrinkling space-time* to create miniature black-holes.
Vortex weapons are pretty much that except instead of being destroyed its being transported to the warp which is certain death unless you are aligned with chaos.

he would become a moody child soldier.

By the fact that crashing down is the preferred style of travle, steals enemie capabilites by eating them and fights demonic incursions, i'd assume kirby would just Kirby even harder.
Maybe with a helmet with shitty design.

So basically Kirby in Smash Bros when he eats Samus, but edgier

I dunno, they would still miss the Eldar, the Necrons and likely some orks.

That just means the issues of 40k would re-emerge after a little while.

Oh, and the chozo are not all that big on the whole purging thing, they didn't even wanted to kill all the X parasites, and they are the f¬cking x.

What happens when Science Team discovers the Eye of Terror?

...

Pic related.

Pretty much the only big scaled display of military action. The chozo are just like “who did they steel from this time?” When they see it.

Is there anything in 40k who can rival Samus' ass?

Considering Zebes' mass listed is actually pretty close to the mass of Earth except with the wrong sign (should be Gt instead of Tt), they probably screwed up the unit.

Zebes' mass is basically just the Metroid equivalent of this.

the warp dies out.
>wank
Wut ?

They all probably become cultists.

I mean, these guys would worship a barnacle if they found one, and had the presence of mind not to eat it before making it their leader.

They'll treat it as a ginormous tube.

It'd depend on the Chapter.

Dont forget how thorough kirby is. After he destroys their physical body he turns around and kills their soul.

That's a bug in the alpha of a fan game.

No. Fucking. Shit.

Prime 3 Samus for best Varia suit design

>anything vs 40k
ffs
it's always 40k

40k is hardly the most outrageous setting in fiction. You're ridiculous.

>t. newfag

Sort your shit out

Borderlands has a gun thats entire premise is "throw it when you need to reload and we'll teleport/instantly construct you a new one from god knows where". 40K hardly wins as the biggest and strongest anymore, to say the least of numerous older scifi settings where Dyson spheres and other mega structures were the norm.

>tfw Samus is still sexiest Primarch

That's not a gun, that's an entire company. And their schitck is being the cheap space-Walmart of arms dealers. Which means that instantaneously manufacturing a gun into your fucking hand is the cheaper option than just buying one.

Cheaper than just reloading, too. Or teleporting/constructing just the individual bullets.

Don't forget that the gun itself acts like a grenade when you toss it, and the more ammunition is still in the mag the more damage it deals when you throw it at someone.

Tediore brand rocket launchers are straight up throwable missiles which hold additional missiles.

That's to be expected actually. At least one of the "precursor races" left recently enough that the last few of them raised a human for maybe two decades at most.

On top of that, you basically can't go anywhere without tripping over any number of various prior civilizations, a disturbing amount of whose works aren't so much "ancient ruins of abandoned cities" as "the toilet seat's still warm"

Entire species would have to be categorically retarded to not learn a trick or two.

Far from it actually. While the 40k universe has engagements that tend to field several times the number of soldiers (or alien equivalents) that numerous other settings would, much of its size and scale come from things like a lack of automation or a "if we throw enough meat at it the grinder will gum up" attitude.

The R-Type, Metroid and Gradius settings all have forces that could very likely brutalize the 40k galaxy, with capabilities that include combat *during* long-range time-travel. Gradius has fighters able to just go play wingman to their past and future selves, while R-series fighters need to take a few detours (specifically, punch out the 26th-Dimensional-Way into the anti-space 'information layer' of reality and from there dive back into the temporal), and both settings have "dogfight safely in thought-assimilating hell dimensions of unknown physical parameters" as basic frame requirements.

The Star Trek, Star Wars and many others can all give quite the fight as well.

metroid.wikia.com/wiki/Horus_Rebellion

How creepy would that be

>humanity gets to space
>find habitable planets
>covered in "ruins" so new that the TV is still on and their tax forms are still on the table, filled out
>this happens 3 times with entire civilizations

I'd be like "where the hell are they going??"

>tfw the Horus Heresy was just some offhand mention

X parasites would end them easily

>yfw you discover all the major intergalactic players of the fucking universe ascended to higher planes of existence, taking everyone of a high enough level with them
>Your species missed the whole thing by three days

If there was a crossover, I'd pray for the 40K people that this is pre-Fusion Samus Aran. Post-Fusion is kind of at that point where she's probably intensely jaded and just about ready to John Wick the first person to look at her etecoons and dachoras the wrong way.

Honestly, Post-Fusion/Post-Prime Samus would probably shoot the first Inquisitor to look at her the wrong way. She's been through some *shit*, and likely wouldn't be in the mood to deal with anything the Imperium wants to force on her.