If wizards are so powerful why don't they all turn themselves into gorgeous mid-twenty somethings instead of old men?

You're clearly in the minority.

Tbh if a turbo-autist wizard would turn himself into something it probably would be a cute grill or some other stupid shit he saw in his goblin serial pictographs.

This. This is what I want in life.

being old sucks. It's literally your body sying slowly while you're still alive. Your cells just don't multiply anymore or do so at an insufficient rate.
Everything is painful, you become weaker, your mind becomes slower, you have less energy, you recover slower, you heal slower, you are more easily attacked by illnesses and sickness, you suffer more from change of temperatures, your bones become frail, your sense of taste wanes your vision worsens, your hearing dulls.
A wizard who doesn't stave off senescence would be a total moron.

What you have to understand is that eventually wizards just start leaving their bodies behind. Either the body is immortal, or in some kind of stasis, or is being maintained by arcane servitors and will automatically be cloned when it expires of whatever natural causes, meanwhile the wizard itself is off in an astral form having epic adventures without pesky organs weighing it down.
For liches, their body eventually decays into dust as they journey like this. They hardly care. At that point, they're among the most powerful of all threats, called a demilich.

They know they are young at heart.

Actuallly, demiliches are usually less powerful, not more. People like Acererak are exceptions.

Depends on edition. In AD&D 1e, 2e, and 3e, they were significantly more powerful. They don't exist in oD&D, 3.5e, or 4e and they are diminished liches in 5e.

What are some other monsters that 5e brought back? I know flumphs are one of the examples.

Which is why the old powerful wizards always augment their bodies, whilst retaining the venerated look of someone that demands respect, AKA old and bearded.

Demiliches are a whole lot scarier than normal liches in 5e

>whilst retaining the venerated look of someone that demands respect, AKA old and bearded.
That sounds suspiciously like someone overly concerned with the thoughts and opinions of others. Theirs should be the only one that matters so they'd do something about it unless they were incapable of it or had a 'thing' for it.

They can with clone or true polymorph.

>Theirs should be the only one that matters so they'd do something about it unless they were incapable of it or had a 'thing' for it.

This is assuming powerful wizards are vain to begin with.

What said.
The wizened look is all a part of the Wizard aesthetic.

There is a reason why charisma is their dump stat user

>That sounds suspiciously like someone overly concerned with the thoughts and opinions of other
And turning oneself into a hottie is any better?

Because in their journey to power they end up secluding themselves from society and so stop caring about appearance

That's where the young sexy but powerful female wizards come from...

Why turn into young men when they turn into little girls?

*can turn

The prophesy is fulfilled

Dude, come on, you had one job.

>Proper wizards live on a scale you can't possibly imagine, Morty!

>Imagine it, Morty - v-visiting a plane where dinosaurs evolved *urp* from people. O-or a world where people have been turned inside-out, Morty. You don't need gold anymore, because gold is only used as currency on 1/250th of the planes you've visited! I-it's worthless, Morty! It's a scam! Your pockets are *urp* c-crammed with skulls and souls and beads with tiny universes in them, Morty!

>When you realize that nothing matters except for *urp* except for *urp* e-except power, a-and staying one step ahead of the things that chase you Morty, you stop caring about the little things. That's a milestone coming of age moment, in my book, Morty. A-and that long-ass beard you've grown is a visual indicator of exactly how long ago it was that you set that milestone on fire with eldritch magic stolen from the fabric of reality!

>Right, speech is *urp* done. I'm gonna go take a shit, Morty.

On a serious note: Some wizards might not give a fuck about looks at a certain age and just pursue knowledge.

Ludonarrative dissonance.

To protect their virginity.

More importantly: Does it add sorcery points?

Because being so fucking powerful you don't really need to look young

Didn't your parents teach you to beware of old men in dangerous jobs?

A similar result can be achieved by being the Little Girl, which is way better in every possible way

Most of us aren't intellectual, user.

gay

The average wizard is an idiot right out of school who belives he is the hot shit because he can memorize a few spells and will keep believing the same thing over the years because he can memorize more spells than before without ever making anything original or accomplishing anything of note.

Because it would involve child sacrifice and 40 diamonds or something along those line.

And those 40 diamonds are a bitch to get your hands on.

They have already sacrificed all hope of getting laid by maintaining their virginity into their 30s.

I cant tell which "nerd-hipster"-show I hate more, this or Bazinga.

Just play an elf.

One started out as well-meaning improv that got too far up its own ass.
The other was always the geek equivalent of a minstrel show.

Some do. Some don't.

It's all about where your priorities are and how uncomfortable/comfortable you are in your own skin or the notion of tampering with yourself.

>my magic caster is an old as fuck crone
>regularly uses magic to turn herself into a sexy young twink man in order to fuck hot beefcake older men

>magic cyborg wizards
I'm stealing this.
And you can't stop me.

I'm fucking ugly and have enough disposable income to get plastic surgery in South Korea.
No thank you. This is the face I was born with, I'm not going to abandon it. And yeah I'm the kind of guy that hates makeup.

Nerd black face

Do I need to write a dissertation on flat chains in banach spaces to understand this?

What is Clone? Alex

Its not something that makes it into the legends much, but the fact of the matter is all of history's greatest mages have spent a few years as women.

Its not for titillation, though there is some of that. Its for practical purposes.

Your soul has a balance of animus and anima, male and female attuned essences and energies. Spend enough time as the opposite sex, those energies rebalance. You basically have to relearn how to cast magic again, like relearning to walk after a greivous injury and bedrest, but the ones that do learn a great deal about casting magic in ways they never before would have considered. It has much in common with a swordsman training to use his left hand as well as he does his right.

On top of that, there a many powerful magical beings who will accept as payment your firstborn child. Thats a sort of pact only a maiden can make. You only get to do this deal once, but if you plsy your cards right you can put yourself at a powerful advantage.

And thats why all the greatest wizards have done it, and why so few want to talk about it.

sounds gay as fuck

Yeah, but transgressing against norms (like sexual norms) is sometimes symbolically associated with mystical power, I think, so that probably actually helps.

So are you going to NOT learn metamagic feats and get 5 free levels just because it involves some light polymorphing for a couple years and maybe having a baby?

This isnt even 'selling your soul to demons' or 'becoming an undead' tier. Hell, its not even as bad as living as an animal like a lot of druids do.

Are you sure you are cut out for the mystic arts?

Didn't Odin drink hanged people's cum to restore mana? Something like that, the Norse viewed magic to be a very feminine thing.

>taking the easy route to power
faggot

Yes. Though only one half was considered feminine. Odin was obsessed enough to learn all of it. A true wizard who didn't care what others thought.

Because age demands respect, and magic gets rid of the downsides. Respect is better than attractiveness.

It's why my wizard looks like an Persian king.

And thats why Odin was a wizard of legendary power, and this chump will likely never make it past casting fireball. If attaining cosmic power was easy and without sacrifice, everyone would do it.

>but the fact of the matter is all of history's greatest mages have spent a few years as women.
>all

Get the fuck out of here, you pompous liar.

>all of history's greatest mages have spent a few years as women

>wizards spend time as women
>who is Moses?
>who is Elijah?

Im only talking about the GREAT, user. Not the ones that get 'good enough' to teach magic at university and claim the title of Archmagus, but the ones who founded new magic and wrote those books in the first place.

Any child can stand on the shoulders of giants, rearrange the peices they have been given, and claim to have made a 'new' spell. Only those that have truely delved deep into how their own magic functions go on to create new schools of magical thought.

You mean clerics whose power comes from miracles granted by their god? Moses never claimed the 10 plagues were his own doing. He was a mouthpeice to warn the Pharoh why he was about to have his shit so divinely slapped.

>spend time as women
>who is abdul alhazerd

>Im only talking about the GREAT, user

So you're even further from the truth. kek

There was no distinction between 'clerics' and 'wizards' regarding real life magic. All sorcerer was a heavily religious affair. Even the "wizards" Moses went up against were priests of their deity.

Stop injecting D&D nonsense into shit, you fool.

He parted the Red Sea and made the fountain.

The priesthood is simply a vast store (think bottomless)of energy that god draws on. Who also draws on interdimensional energy?

WIZARDS

Moses is just being thankful for the license to use that stuff. Plus there is also Solomon.

Moses was practically a wizard.

>ejmmm2007.blogspot.ca/2009/01/moses-magician.html

> How DARE your fantasy discussion not conform to MY preferences!

You must by fun at parties

Preferences? No, this is fucking history, you horrid mongoloid.
Magic mixes into religion a whole fucking lot.

D&D deconstructed this trope.

>literally your body dying slowly while you're still alive
>Everything is painful, you become weaker, your mind becomes slower, you have less energy, you recover slower, you heal slower, you are more easily attacked by illnesses and sickness
>you suffer more from change of temperatures, your bones become frail, your sense of taste wanes your vision worsens, your hearing dulls.
I don't understand. You're describing my life right now, but I don't have a sick-ass beard and I'm not allowed to yell at kids yet.
From my perspective, there are no downsides to being old on the outside instead of just on the inside.

captcha: revive Larry

Yea Moses is a cleric in d&d terms (you know, besides the fact that he doesn't wear armor or use a mace or really heal anyone but whatever). But you were talking about Odin. He's not a wizard in d&d terms either.

So you are claiming that, historically, magic existed?

Thats a weird stance to take.

It might of. Science can't disprove it without using Hitchens razor.

Theoretically it might exist.

But that's beside the point.

Nah, I'm saying that historical practice of 'magic' was a very religious affair. Moses wasn't solely a cleric or a wizard, rather a mixture of both.

Moses wasn't a cleric. Clerics in the D&D sense didn't exist.

Belgarath literally answers this for you, l2read

Moses is an old dude with a walking stick and a robe. hes a huge influence for the modern wizard.

You are thinking Odin, actually.

> old bearded man dressed as a traveler with a big hat or hooded cloak to obscure his face, with a walking staff. Possesses vast magical power he learned through personal research and sacrifice

Literally a wizard

You realize multiple things can influence things right?

...

>If wizards are so powerful why don't they lay claim to all the lego in the classroom?

They are beyond caring about appearances.

Yours don't?

Rick and Morty at least has jokes and doesn't try to coerce you into laughing by telling you that you should

You R&M fags are the new wave of obnoxious fools next to furries and bronies.
Please consider vanisihing from reality asap

He requested god to do it, no?

R&M fans: *inhale*

/co/: I bet you think you're really fucking smart don't you. You're not, you're a pathetic failed abortion. I wish I was over there standing right behind you so I could overpower your scrawny libcuck ass, and use my emasculator. When you scream and cry at the farm equipment ripping off your never used manhood, I want you to think about how all this pain was because you watched a cartoon you sad pathetic fuck.

R&M fans: lol.

T.butthurt R&Mfag

Eh, it's alright. I don't see why people feel so strongly about it one way or the other, though.

>Turning yourself into a twink
>Not turning yourself into a skeleton

As for the ways it's really simple:
·Fanboys will be fanboys
Or
·Being real tired of noisy shit about the flavor of the year, being it lolzimbabwe, r&m, mlp, furries, whatever

Pretty much. This whole thread revolves around retarded assumptions. It's like expecting every billionaire to look like Louis XIV or at least one of those vainer Hollywood celebs, when most of them are yellow-toothed ghouls who put the minimum amount of effort into passing for human... I mean, looking presentable.

>Gorgeous mid-twenty somethings
>Not cute unassuming 12-14 year olds.
If you aren't going for the rep-bonus associated with "So talented they already have an archmage's skills when they are that young", as well as squicking out would be assassin's who might hesitate at the thought of killing kids who "don't know any better", then you're missing out.
An attractive wizard has a target on their back. A "child" wizard has people who think they can manipulate you, which you are completely free to allow until you pull the rug out from under them.

>So talented they already have an archmage's skills when they are that young
let's be real
in a world where polymorphing is a thing mages can do, nobody would think you're a genuine child, but a mage with a shitty fetish
other archmages would mock you at every opportunity if they cared