Oh shit Veeky Forums your party just got discovered, how fast can you talk?

Some people talk, some people run, some people hide, some people fight.
Our party tends for an "every man for himself" approach to a plan going to shit. You'd be surprised by the shit four people will come up with in a pinch.
To quote the bard, "What's better than 26 plans? 104 plans."

"I have a bomb!"

kind hard to conversation yourself out of something when the people who found you are either trying to
A) rip and tear. rip and tear until it is done
B) skull fuck you with a tentacle-penis
C) give you space-aids and 30 different diseases at the same time
D) Paradox you to death
E) enslave you for us in their torture parties
or
F) covert you to their cult that worships the space locusts that's flying in the direction of the planet your on to eat everyone and everything.

>he talks his way out of a fight instead of farming the free exp

Although I'm certain this is bait, I'm answering anyway.

>he talks his way out of a fight ...

Defeating an encounter awards experience points. It does not matter HOW the encounter is defeated, only that it is.

>... instead of farming the free exp

Also it's people like you that cause my group to remove tracking experience points from the game entirely.

Once the alpha legion is spotted everything becomes acceptable causalties.

I typically don't get spotted but OP messed that up.

"If you kill us now you'll never find our treasure, make your choice wisely..."
>roll bluff check

youtube.com/watch?v=JC1jWrsXWMY
I think I got this.

Auctioneers aren't human.

Are auctioneers taking the piss or are those all actual words?

>he doesn't understand plain English

I get nervous around crowds, okay!?

I feel like the rapid speech pressures bidders into making their bid, and the random noises and stutters are just to fill empty air and keep everyone on their toes. The actual words are just repeating bid numbers

He's mostly just saying numbers, albeit absurdly quickly

I don't I could bring myself to escape OP's pic.

Pretty much this.

>Crap, if the Queen learns we were trying to eavesdrop on her we'll have failed our job
>It can't be helped, let's just quickly dispose of this guard
>Crap, we ran into 3 more guards while we trying to dump the body. Get them, quick!
>Shit, they called for backup and there are more bodies than we can carry now
>We absolutely cannot afford to be seen on the premises, let's quickly retreat while silencing anyone we meet
>[12 hours later, riding past the border ]
>Well, we might be able to sneak back into this kingdom in 20 years, once most of the people have died of old age or retired

youtu.be/_qvKi4GclOc

Absolutely hypnotic.

His would-be captors are hypnotized into a bidding war for his treasure. They end up purchasing it at several times the market price, and leaving so satisfied they forgot to capture him.

D I M M A D O M E
O
U
G

As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero.