The druid refuses to speak to you until you eat a clump of moss from her sacred stone

>The druid refuses to speak to you until you eat a clump of moss from her sacred stone

So she won't talk to me unless I am a moss-muncher? Sounds like a Tumblr druid

>You're not even questing.
>You're just walking by on the way to a clan meet in next towny over.
>She makes a big deal how 'ohh I won't speak to you unless you consume this sacred moss'
>You didn't even say hi to her.
>She just went off.
>Honestly pretty tempted to chow down on some moss just to see how this goes.

>tsundere Druid
>"I-i-it's not like I want to talk to you or anything, idiot. Don't get the wrong idea. But if you really want to eat this moss then I suppose it can't be helped...."

Is this some sort of euphemism?

>Assume it's a euphemism
>Nonlethal her unconscious, hogtie her and go to town on her filthy fish stankin unwashed treehugger cootch when she starts coming to

That's pathetic user

I talk to her with my fists.

FPBP

I don't talk to druids. If she wants to talk to me, she'll be taking a clump from my sacred stones.

>eat the moss, quizboy

>The Palidan order won't let you join unless you polish all their holy rods.
>The Ranger Guild won't let you join less you tame the guildmaster's wild pussy.
>The Warlock Circle recruits must spend two nights in bondage to symbolize their new pact.

I'd take some nectar from her honeypot

I would put some cream in her honeypot if you know what I mean

Cream goes bad and would spoil the honey. Honey doesn't spoil because it's already bad 'cause it's bee vomit, but that doesn't mean that you cannot taint it by introducing toxins, a la rotting food.

My cream is special

>Druid refuses to help unless you eat a clump of moss from her sacred stone
>It doesn't actually have any significance
>She just wants to see how many dumbasses she can convince to eat some fucking moss

>because the druid is actually mute, and this is telepathic moss, kinda like a babblefish

Eating moss is not stupid, it can actualy be fairly nutritive

t. filthy moss eater.

>He doesn't know how to survive in the wild
I bet you're one of these smelly 400 pound landwhales that thinks it's ok to drink soda instead of water, and is addicted to porn.
Probably a city scum dweller too.

I ain't falling for this, lady
I saw you laughing at those last three adventurers behind their backs

You have to eat all the moss.

Unless I can cast identify or something on that moss first, no way in hell am I eating it. This is how weird shit happens to you.

>This is how weird shit happens to you.
>weird shit

Otherwise known as 'an adventure'.

>REALLY t. filthy moss eater
Dude, calm down. Nibble on a rock or something.

Fuck you

but most of that is lichen

found the wizard

What exactly are you accusing me of.

Go nibble on your wife's boyfriend's cock, city-dwelling scum.

>towny faggot
I bet you eat turnips and fuck goats

Hey, look; I'm not a scientist, but this is the only moss I see in that picture.

It seems a little odd they'd ask you to consume their moss when there's so little of it to start with. Wouldn't it be more economic to just take the lichen? Is lichen less sacred? Even if it is, wouldn't that mean you just have to consume more of the lichen to achieve the same results as the moss? If moss is a premium substance, would it not also make sense to harvest the lichen in great quantities first to allow more room for the moss to grow in its place?

>Not fucking turnips and eating goats
Ignorant city slicker!

>allow more room for the moss to grow
>disrupting nature

Is that a euphemism?

So it's a test then?
She wants to see if you'll eat the right stuff.
The lichen is probably deadly.

>Welp guess I'm joining the paladins then.

I'd be face-down in that mossy mound

>druid
>her

What if the moss is invasive?

Does that mean I pass the test?

A wizard refused to speak to me recently as well. He changed his mind after I broke his ring fingers and pulled one of his fingernails off and threatened to mash his hands into an irreparable mess so he'd never cast again.

The wizard talked, and so will this Druid. This ogrillon will not be stymied by degenerate and treacherous dark mysticism.

>Barbarian does not deal well with loneliness

Druids are less fancy pants self superiority than wizards, they're more likely to ignore you from a honor or respect more like wildmen and barbarians.

Also they can turn into bears, don't know if you knew this. So just pick to eat the moss or just don't talk to her. Last thing we want is being mauled by a bear.

Underrated

oh my...

The last bear I fought I used to beat a man to death, and then killed another man and the bear by throwing it at said man, causing them both to be knocked of a great height.

Druids are degenerates like all spellcasters. Their long contemplations and perverse thought leads them the moral and physical weakness, as they steal the forms of true creatures to cover their weaknesses, playing at Primal power while in truth being mere empty gourds. This weakness can be seen in how Druidic circles fall to "corruption" every few years. They are weak in body and soul, and cannot rely on themselves, only treacherous magic.

True strength comes from one's own self- not treacherous magic, underhanded deception, or fanciful magic items. A man who cannot stand without outside aid is weak.

Likewise, excessive thought leafs to weakness, as your mind, stripped of goal and action, follows dark paths, tangling itself in madness and nonsense, and inviting moral weakness.

The bear will throw three's at us just stop.
I don't want an angry bear wizard throwing three's like they're javelins.

Well spoken my friend.

I do not fear numbers. The fact that you do simply shows your weakness. I have slain devil squid, bear, Druid, and hydra. I fear no mathematician bear wizard.

Your mathimignorance will be our undoing!

>eat the moss
>wake up three days later with no recollection of the past events, wearing only a sombrero and no other clothing
>your butt hurts

Let me guess, she can only speak in some obscure language and consuming the moss gives me the ability to also converse in that language, and/or it gives me some sort of psychic connection in order to communicate with her telepathically?

>Letting tree-people have you on speed-dial for who knows how long.
This is a terrible fucking idea, but I like the idea of having to share brainspace with someone else so much I don't care. Give me the fucking moss.

>load her sacred stone onto the cart
>move on to the next town

Then how did she tell you to eat the moss in the first place?

Turns out you've been doing paperwork naked on a hard seat for those 3 days.

Which is the exact point of using tsundere.

But I'm undead, I don't think I can physically eat anything.

Arguably more frightening. Drugged butt rape is once, drugged signing of a binding contract for butt rape is forever.

Well then the druid wants the moss to EAT YOU.

"Alright then"
>Don't eat the moss
>Never talk to her again
>Only shout orders during combat
>Refer to her as "big mossy"

> Don't eat the moss
> Don't have to listen to druid's petty moralizing about muh nature
> nothing of value etc

...

>When you eat the druid

Slow down there, oversatan

>Eat the stone

Who's smart now Druid? Who's smart now?

>Furiously annoyed druid just following you around, having to resist the urge to break their sacred vow so they can tell you to put the god damned stone back
Truly, the next level in trolling.

I blast that faggot stone with Dispel Magic before I touch it

Does being perfectly ok with this make me a degenerate?

>Being perfectly OK with anything
>Not being a degenerate

Pick one.

The funny thing is my half orc would take that as a challenge and eat both the moss and the rock

don't accept moss from strange druids

I CAN'T EAT, DRUID

HOW DO YOU GET AROUND THAT

hey its not my fault if my breath smells bad.It comes with being a lich.
Get this saponine moss shit away from me, ucking snobby druid.