Make a setting based off of this map

Florida Man is my hero.

Floridaman is the hero we deserve.

Floridaman is the hero we need.

>Implying West Virginia wouldn't still just be West Virginia.

>Florida
map was shit until I saw that
beautiful

So is the Vatican on a endless war against brony's?

or is that what they WANT you to think?

>In the grim future, there is only war
>The tiny relocated vatican state is in a constant struggle against the bronies that surround them
>All attempts to settle the lands around Nova Roma have failed, as bronies constantly rise up from the ground to overthrow any settlers
>Nova Roma is alone, all attempts to forge alliances have failed
>The Neofascist Anthro Trains have accused them of being part of (((them)))
>The Transhumanist Gamer Federation has advised them to "git gud"
>The Roblox Empire responded to their pleas for aid with "no way fag"
>But not all hope is lost, for there is one foreign ally who has aligned himself with the interests of the Vatican state
>Raised a Catholic, converted to Hindu-Judaism and then returned to the Catholic fold once more
>The man, the legend, the living saint
>Florida Man

>Pastorialists
>In New England
I hope they like starving, cuz no way is there enough grassland to support a herding society.

Floridaman cannot be stopped.

Foreigner here what the fuck is wrong with Florida

Not as much as you might think. It's actually that Florida has looser laws about what the papers can and can not write/report on than basically anywhere else.

As someone who lives there, I concur.
And how can they be anarcho-?

There's plenty of grassland, there's just towns and shit where they were. this is where the anarcho- part comes in as the fight for land is a daily struggle.

Actual answer: Florida law states that police reports have to be released to the public, no matter how notable the crimes are. Most are mundane things, but while normally the more bizarre ones wouldn't reach the press on account of not being notable enough to warrant an official release, Florida allows them all to be released.

THAT SAID

Florida still has a marginally larger concentration of weird shit than the rest of the states even taking that into account. Part of it (most of it) is the drugs. Part of it is the (on average) higher concentration of older people. Part of it is the weather and swampy climate. Part of it is trying to hold up a reputation. Florida is as Florida does.

>Florida.
Magical ground zero. Everything that ushered in the new age spewed out of Florida.

Non-burger here. What is the deal with Florida? Is it actually this dysfunctional or is that just a meme the media pushes?

You all have to keep in mind that the deeper layers of Florida's ground are made of Karst Limestone that formed because of the ocean's currents wafting marine corpses together in an ever growing pile of the dead. Florida is literally built upon a massive pile of corpses with countless unexplored caverns snaking throughout it.

There are millions of prehistoric souls gestating within Florida, and I believe it may also serve as the "final" resting place of an Old God.

C

Never mind, saw this .

Deepest lore

>voices.nationalgeographic.org/2012/10/12/giant-mysterious-eyeball-found-on-florida-beach/

Former Floridian here, this is 100% correct desudesu. A lot of the crazy Florida stories come out of south Florida, but the rest of the state can hold its own. Central Florida has a bunch of orange groves, Disney world and college towns, each with a unique brand of insanity. And north Florida is the deeeep south, with all the redneck fun that implies.

On top of what they said, there's a loooooot of meth in Florida. A lot. Very, very much meth.

I live in Florida. There is literally a serial killer one town over and everyone is like "Welp, time to get Haloween underway, I guess."

Florida Man

Fate: 4 -- Refresh: 4

Mantles
Florida Man bears a unique (as far as anyone knows) Mantle that most people refer to as ‘The Mantle of Infinite Sadness,’ ironically. His power operates on Otherworldly scale.

Aspects
High Concept: Demiurge of Immortal Woe
Trouble: Everybody’s Punching Bag
Other Aspects: I Have Experience With Being Dead, Lightning (Bolts) in a Bottle, Internet Famous

Approaches
Superb (+5): Force
Great (+4): --
Good (+3): --
Fair (+2): Haste, Flair
Average (+1): Focus, Guile

Stress & Conditions
Stress: [1][1][1][1][1][1]
Hurt (fleeting): [4]
Injured (fleeting): [6]
In Peril (sticky): [4]
Doomed (lasting): [x]
Florida Power (sticky): [x][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ]
Underwater: [ ]
If you find yourself underwater check this box. While this box is checked, Florida Power is unavailable to use.
The Florida Mantle: [x]
This condition is always checked unless Florida Man is underwater. The Florida Mantle makes the bearer a target for the bad luck of a particular set of Floridians; “native sons and daughters” would be an apt descriptor of the group. The upside is that Florida Man clears all Stress and his Hurt and Injured conditions at the end of every scene by marking a box of Florida Power. Florida Power recovers at the end of the session.

Florida Man Stunts
Faster, Stronger, Tougher: Mark a box of Florida Power to add +1 to any physical action. The GM may elect to add scale.
Wrong Place, Wrong Time: Use one of your consequences to redirect a damaging effect to yourself, counting the stress that it would have absorbed against the attack.
Out of Nowhere: Mark a box of Florida Power to enter the scene through a window, door, or otherwise awkwardly landing in the area.

Notable Gear
Barely-functional F-100 in turquoise
Very functional golf cart
Battered golf clubs
Superb collection of vintage t-shirts
At least 40 pairs of sunglasses
Irregular smattering of pants
A battered pair of Aqua Socks

I have played this character through an entire Dresden Files campaign. You can now speculate on the kind of shenanigans he got up to.

You will not even come close to what actually happened.

>mfw I'm in that town
>mfw the serial killer is targeting autistic bus riders
>mfw I told my friend who is an autistic bus rider to be careful or the Seminole Shooter will get him
At least we don't have the Gainsville Toucher

Wielded halfling as melee weapon, covered body in honey, and shouted about how the shit monsters were taking over the library?

>no Deseret

And dropped

I'm going to need to see the other continents as well.

My brother of African descent.

Oh my. Well, maybe it works as a kind of containment state or something.

>tries to google Gainsville Toucher
>finds en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Rolling instead

There's been Escape from New York and Escape from L.A., m8s I feel a new movie coming on.

Why isn't Florida a Veeky Forums setting ala Night Shift?

You say like the Mormons wouldn’t be thrown out again, to settle the Yukon or some shit.

Yea you realize that wouldn't happen right?

I actually live in a 70% Mormon town and for 10 nice ones you get 1 doomsday preppers. The mayor of my town is one and he buys military surplus.

Anyways I happen to know that a dude unloaded some heavy machine guns at my town and that terrifies me if doomsday actually happens.

But they do have a thing with Jacksonville missouri, so they probably ended up in roblox land or dead.

There is no escaping Florida. Sure, you can leave, but it's always there, a mark upon your soul giving you an aura of disquiet that all others can subconsciously detect. Outsiders will know something is different, something not quite right about you while other Floridians will know you as one of them.

>Florida is untouched by whatever horrible apocalypse took place, but is run by an alliance between humans and gators. Disneyworld is their capital city
>the Juggalos on the east coast lead secret black ops missions into Roblox territories to reclaim Detroit from them. Juggalos are somehow on good terms with Tumblr and the remaining US Govt.
>The Horseshoe crab territories are a neutral DMZ, everyone goes there to hunt and vacation, but the leaders control the fishing in a strict but fair manner
>13chag is the most stable new nation because moot is in charge again
>Anthro Train Empire pushes into Brony and Gamer territory on a near constant basis, their leader spouting some bullshit about "muh railroads"
>the Nomads have successfully turned all of New England into marijuana farmlands. their capitol is Teaneck, NJ.
>The Roblox Empire distribute free Internet for Imperial citizens but charge a not-unreasonable $20 a month for everyone else. this keeps their economy strong, and legal disputes are settled within one of the thousands of multiplayer Roblox creations.
>Tulpa Cult wants to defect to Mexico

Are people from Florida Malkavians?

I thought it was odd that Appalachia becomes tumblr university.

the mountains serve as a natural safe space/quiet zone for aspies.

Sure, just replace the madness network with lots of meth and cocaine and the hunger for blood with sunshine.

>The Florida Madness Network.

I'm not sure that aspies are tumblr-aligned at a higher rate than anyone else, though.

they tend to stick around where they would be the least stressed. Roblox Empire and Tumblr would be the best bet and probably have comprehensive healthcare for those types.

The setting already exists, it's called RIFTS by palladium games

Short list
>blew up cop car with a can of PBR
>blew up helicopter full of cocaine by elbow dropping it, "making it snow"
>beat a greater demon to death with a nine iron
>killed a white court vampire with a lawnmower
>rode through Disney World' pneumatic trash system while chasing minor villain

Just a small selection of shenanigans.

>Horsehoe crabs
>Pacific Coast
What?

Well you just have to tell us now, user.

Oh

why aren't the juggalo tribes in Michigan and the upper midwest?

>Foreigner here what the fuck is wrong with Florida

It's full of Cubans.

...

Don't think about it too hard, the entire map makes no fucking sense. The Juggalos are a thousand miles from their normal base, the most heavily urbanized sections of the country are suddenly farmers, Tumblr owns Appalachia, and the Rocky Mountains are full of trains for some fucking reason.

It's a retard-level map and asking questions about why is just going to give you a headache.

>Tfw nomadic anarcho pastoralist

Suck it, everyone else.

I think part of it is actually also because of Cuban and Yankee/Anglo cultures in immediate proximity. Cubans are intense people who party and seem a bit crazy, but when they do it they're actually in control and it doesn't usually lead to problems. But when white people follow their example, they get fucking insane.

>not being a transhumanist gamer.

Enjoy your weak flesh.

Same reason the horseshoe crabs are on the wrong coast, I suppose.

>Dinosaur-Smuggling
How do I contact this man? I need a dinosaur ASAP or else the boss will have my head

I'm sorry, he got busted. You'll need to find a new dealer.

You wouldn't even need the sci-fi prison city thing the other movies have going on. Just set it during a hurricane evacuation and you can get the same level of crazy.

Kek I would set it during a normal day. No disaster or anything, just some regular dude trying to GTFO and all the crazy he runs in to.

> not being a sentient horse shoe crab
> laughingcrabs.seapeg
Flesh and steel alike will give beneath the might of our hordes. No weapon known to god or man shall pierce our carapaces.
We are coming.
We are coming.

Imagine if the old god being reformed is being corrupted by American boomer culture and becomes a cross between Cthulhu and a meth addict with a tacky tropical shirt and crocs.

r8

>Disneyworld literally takes up half of Florida now
>East/West Dakota
>DUDE WEED LMAO
10/10

2100: America has just finished a war with Pakistan after electing its first female leader and is financially bankrupt, a giant series of plagues begins to sweep over the Earth

2101: The plagues continue to wipe out Earth

2102: A cure to the plague has been solved, but the damage is done. The majority of the world population along with the US population is dead, and new lifeforms spring up, tey are identified as alien

2103: the new lifeforms attack humans and begin to terraform the environment of the US

2110: by this year it has been discovered that the aliens terraforming the Earth actually come in different strains and have different hiveminds that are shaping the Earth as it sees fit (including humans), and they are also competing with each other

2117: By this year, the US is now gone as a political entity, and all that remains are the new terraformed factions and a few holdouts of old Human civilization

Sentient Horseshoe Crabs: regular horseshoe crabs along with all life in this region has been transformed into horseshoe crabs, they are sentient and have a culture based on study and self introspection

HEOAT: A race of trains obsessed with globalism, they want to connect everything on Earth through railroad

TGF: a post-human holdout of Human civilization where they have built a wall to keep out the alien threats, humanity in this region tries to keep their mind off of the carnage by living in Cyberspace

KO13CHAG/Vivian: unknown

Subterranean: a bunch of mutated hedonistic animals who induldge in pleasure

relocated vatican: actually a structure with the mind of a God that uses the Subterraneans as sheep

NRE: Block people that are obsessed with both the abstract and fascist clans, the lifeforms that come out of Subterranean territory keep them from expanding

US Stronghold: A US remnant that has drifted into extreme facism to preserve its government

Tumblr University: A human holdout influenced by the culture of the Subterraneans and has..

..written extensive knowledge on this abstract concept

Juggalo Tribes: a band of Raiders civilized into a legion style nation by a Tribe leader who used the music from the Subterraneans to control the raiders

Nomadic Anarcho Pastoralists: A group of tribes who have founded their culture based on the tenants of Judaism, Nordic Paganism, and New Ageism, they live off of the various alien lifeforms and the area they live in is too dangerous for other empire to venture into directly.

Florida: May God have mercy on people who venture into this no man's land

>Next time you try to kill a man, you best get the job done
>Now you're my bitch forever

>I can't believe it's not the confederacy
>United State of American
>New Dakotas

FLORIDAMAAAN!!

Seriously speaking, how are you murricans preparing for the inevitable balkanization of your decaying and polarized republic?

America won't balkanize. The worst that could happen is a civil war. No one really wants outright independence more than a unified country. There will be secession movements, but probably not effective. Think Russian civil war.

I wouldn't be so sure of that. What is the unifying ethos of your nation anymore? Is there anything that actually ties your peoples together as one people and nation, besides the state itself?

What does a conservative christian rural white farmer living in midwest have in common with a progressive transgendered quarter mexican gender studies teacher living in LA?

Why would either of these people sacrifice anything for the sake of the other? Why wouldn't they view each other as mortal enemies, which they quite rightly are? Your nation has become internally utterly polarized and it's people are increasingly consumed by moral and ideological frameworks that are diametrically opposed to those held by other fellow "americans" whatever that term even means at this point, seeing how anyone can basically be an american. You have diluted your national identity to the point where it means virtually nothing anymore, thus it unifies nothing.

You are a house divided against itself. Diversity is not a source of strength, unity is.

The thing is, the military, the main driving force behind any civil war, is for unification.

Unless you truly think the Don Republic, Kuban, Ukraine, Siberia, Kazakh, Uzbek, Armenia, etc, REALLY wanted to be part of the USSR.

That is true, for now at least.
But your military forces are composed of men who are voluntarily willing to potentially sacrifice their lives for what they believe to be the good of your nation and presumably your people as well. What happens once that belief crumbles?

What is united state military even fighting for anymore? Actually, what has it ever fought for? Certainly not for the good of your people. None of the wars of the last century you have partook in, has been for the good of american citizens. All of them have been for the interests of a select financial elite of your nation, not for the sake of your own people.

What happens when the brunt of your military forces realize that they are not actually sacrificing their lives for the good of their family and friends, but just to enrich the pockets of wealthy elites?

what up /pol/ finn user

I think it's just that people, when they aren't pointlessly heated over issues, are pragmatic enough to realize that one unified nation is a helluva lot better than isolated, weak states. They fought a civil war over secession, and its ingrained enough that actually stepping forward and leaving is not the kind of action you can get away with.

Again, the military's interests are in unification still. The Russian military lost faith in its nation, yet chose not to balkanize but rather unite under a new regime. Typically Balkanization is a fairly rare result of civil wars.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? FUCKIN NIGGER FAGGOT JEW KIKE AAAAAAHHHHH. WHAT KIND OF SUBHUMAN MONGOLOID WOULD DELVE TO THIS LEVEL OF RETARDATION? JESUS H. MOTHERFUCKIN CHRIST I HATE YOU, I HATE THIS BOARD, I HATE THIS PICTURE. FUCK YOU AND YOUR 3 BRAIN CELLS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Nothing much, would go outside for a jog if it didn't rain. Autumn weather sucks here in Finland.

You could be right, or you could be wrong. I am not so sure that sheer pragmatism is what drives people. If certain portions of your population no longer feel that staying as part of the united states serves their and their children's interests, they are naturally driven to try to wrest the control of their own destiny to their own hands. Only the threat of violence from the state would keep them from leaving in such scenario.

USSR did balkanize. Russia returned mostly it's imperial era borders, which were older, and forged by subjugating the natives of the various territories with brutal violence and displacing them with Russian slavs. It is not a comparable situation to America balkanizing.

13chag = Veeky Forums +9gag?

Their records are public so it's really easy to see the crazy cases they deal with, unlike most any other state.

No, I mean Russian Empire. Russian civil war. They lost Poland and Finland, but otherwise kept all the territory that tried to secede. Do you have any idea how many separatist governments there were in the Russian civil war? Don, Kuban, Siberia, Far Eastern, Ukraine, Belarus, Karelia, Idel-Ural, etc.

Oh, yeah that. Sorry I mistook the subject.

I can't say that I am terribly familiar with the Russian civil war, though I do think that the Bolsheviks were able to sorta wrest the direction away from utter balkanization into proletariat "revolution" which ended up with even more horrid tyranny than the Tzar's rule ever was.

I fucking hate those communist scumbags so fucking much.

Because through sheer force of mass media and cultural inertia, literally all of those groups think of themselves as Americans first, foremost, and always. America is a choice. And despite the bullshit being slung around, both left and right seem to think of themselves as fighting for the same set of ideals. It's not like we're dealing with separate cultures here, it's just political leanings. Besides, there's a pretty large moderating population between the rural and urban: Suburbs.

Oh, you mean the thing we all already know. The thing we've known the whole time. The thing that's so obvious we have to offer large amounts of bonuses and privileges and foster a culture of honoring the soldier instead of the institution just to get people to sign up. Whatever man, that bandage got ripped off back in Vietnam at the latest.

The thing about American political culture is that we've had all of one time where the transfer of power lead to any problems. Fucking once. Every other time has been smooth as butter, power passing back and forth among enemies without any risk or fear of coups or severe violence, or the military needing to get involved. We're fucking stable.

Makes sense coming from a Fin. When you taking Karelia back, huh?

Anyways, no, the Russian civil war had around 20 separatist governments trying to Balkanize Russia. They were also all allied against Bolshevik forces (And Makhnovist forces, for Ukraine). I imagine a scenario in America would be the same. Still enough of an idea of a nation to have the majority of the military wanting to unite, while the separatist movements are largely untrained civilians.

Despite what commies may tell you, people don't win civil wars, soldiers do. You can't overthrow a regime without the military.

florida has less privacy laws then other states.

>If certain portions of your population no longer feel that staying as part of the united states serves their and their children's interests, they are naturally driven to try to wrest the control of their own destiny to their own hands
Insofar as American history as shown, both in the civil rights movements of the 60s as well as the present day, Americans in general believe that things can change. You get the far left hating on the current government, but their tactics are to mostly just protest a lot and hope that somehow changes things on a political level. Resorting to stereotype because I don't really know a lot of Americans, the people of the south tend to hate on the government and prefer more individual power, but if they really hated the government enough to leave then they'd have tried to break off even after the Civil War; hell, southerners get stereotyped as being far more patriotic/nationalistic than the more leftist north.

You do realize that what it means to be "american" is radically different to a conservative than it is to a progressive, right?
There is no longer an unified ideal of what it is to be american.

Also, I wouldn't boast about your stability. Your nation is still young and has been for most of it's existence, in a constant upward streak in terms of development and growth, especially in this century.
What will happen when you fall into decline, which in my view at least, is already beginning, seeing the demographic shifts within your nation, and the political polarization, is a whole different story.

There is no point in taking back Karelia anymore. The Soviets ruined those lands and all the Finns who lived there either evacuated to Finland or were killed in Stalin's purges. That clay is lost to us. And even though establishing the borders of Greater Finland would make the defense of our nation from the Eastern threat more easy, it is unfeasible to accomplish this in current world situation. Russia would have go collapse utterly for us to have any chance to claim these borders.
If we want to take new clay, we should be looking at Sweden. That's a nation ripe for the taking.

And you are correct regarding the military. The military is the kingmaker here. I however, do not share your faith in that the US military would forever be for unity or be united with itself if the current situation within your nation escalates, and US goes further into decline.