Ok, we climb the wall

>Ok, we climb the wall
>"With what?"
>With the climbing gear we bought earlier
>"You didn't buy any climbing gear"
>Yes we did. When we were in the town
>"No. You all talked about buying it, but you never actually bought it"

Well no fucking shit we "talked about it". It's a tabletop RPG. "Talking about it" is literally our only way to interact with the game world.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=-leYc4oC83E
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Fine, you run the game then.

What happen before? You can't do anything because you were not born. You just talk about the character.

Did you actually say "ok I go into Fuckley Mcgee's general goods and buy the supplies we need" or did you just say that you needed to buy it?

Would it even be possible to set up a grappling hook on a wall of force since it's two-dimensional and therefore infinitely sharp?

DM: You...you guys are being attacked.
Cheeto: Do I see that happening?
DM: No, you're outside, by the tavern.
Cheeto: Cool, I get drunk.
DM: There are seven ogres surrounding you.
Elf: How could they surround us? I had Mordenkainen's Magical Watchdog cast.
DM: No, you didn't.
Cheeto: I'm getting drunk. Are there any girls there?
Elf: I totally did! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure and I said No. But I need material components for all my spells. So I cast Mordenkainen's Faithful Watchdog.
DM: But you never actually cast it.
Cheeto: Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk.
DM: (rolls dice) Yeah, you are.
Cheeto: Are there any girls there?
DM: Yeah.
Elf: I did though! I completely said when you asked me!
DM: No you didn't! You didn't actually SAY that you were casting the spell. So now there's ogres. OK?!

>"I think it's time to blow this scene let's get everybody and the stuff together, okay 3 2 1. Let's jam"
>Bard begins playing tank on the bongos

How about I run my dick right up your ass

>"DM, out of character, this is lame and tedious. If this is the kind of way you run your game then I am having second thoughts about playing with you. Can we just retcon that we have the climbing gear, or are you gonna keep doing this every time we go into a dungeon?"

>Rogue has blowpipe and poisoned darts for some reason
>Rogue player goes to use blow dart on someone
>"Okay, this is what I do"
>Mimes himself bringing the pipe to his lips
>Sucks air through his mouth
>Blows forth like he's the fucking big bad wolf blowing down a little pig's home
>Everyone at the table bursts into laughter
>DM asks Rogue to roll damage and a Fortitude save
>DM describes how the idiot sucks in his own dart causing himself to end up choking and poisoning himself

Ayy le ebin funnyman GM meme.
Did you cut your dick off when you fumbled your attack roll, too?

Here's an easy question: did you roleplay a scene wherein you went to the shop and actually bought the gear? Or did you just talk about it like a putz? Did you subtract the gold from your inventory? Is it on your character sheet?

Your bait, while appealing, lacks any substance or flavor.

Obvious bait, but if you don't move from, "Hmm think we need some climbing gear, guys?" to, "I go to the shop and buy climbing gear," the idea never left the drawing board.

No, specifically when you are using a dart gun, you must either breath in through your nose, or through closed teeth, to avoid swallowing the dart.

It's a real thing and if the rogue didn't have an exotic weapon proficiency for blowguns, I think it's a good ruling.

>did you roleplay a scene wherein you went to the shop and actually bought the gear?

If you demand the players roleplay every step of every mundane shopping expedition then you need to skip Veeky Forums and head for the oncology ward, because you're cancer

Ogres? I use my ogre slaying knife, it's got a +9 against ogres!

That's definitely the sort of thing a fully trained assassin would get a (very low DC) Wisdom check to avoid doing, but a level 1 rogue (or anyone without proficiency in blowpipes) might just end up doing.

While I wouldn't go so far as to make players role play every single purchase of mundane equipment, there's a clear need for confirmation between the party and the DM that equipment was in fact purchased. Players shouldn't just assume they can purchase whatever equipment they want whenever they want without consulting the DM. The DM is in charge of the NPCs and the world, so they have the final say about any hypothetical interactions with the party.

There's a difference between a DM pulling a 'gotcha' by letting your character go half-way through a plan before informing them that they don't have the piece of equipment they needed to finish the job, and players loosely defining what's available to them. If they don't want to worry about equipment, then they should be playing the kind of game where inventory management doesn't matter.

As the DM and most of the players said, if the guy had just said "I attack with my poisoned blow dart", there would have been no issue. Instead the rogue had to autistically describe his every action in hilarious fashion. This has bit him on the ass more than a few times, especially when he described exactly how he disarms a trap. This usually causes the trap to blow up in his face. The guy is a good social roleplayer but he needs to stop trying to talk his way through actions he doesn't actually know how to address.

My group does the shopping between games because buying a single potion always ends up using three charisma checks otherwise.

Equipment costs money. Was money spent? If not, then you pretty clearly don't have climbing equipment. If, on the other hand, you talked about buying equipment and openly spent the money, then you pretty clearly did buy the equipment.

Eh, trying to role-play shouldn't be punished in and of itself.
I think an easy Wisdom save to remember the right way to do it would help convince him to only try it when he needs it without risking him not RPing at all.

As a DM I keep track of all items purchased by having them note it and ask them to read it to me before they leave the shop/city

You're not there! You're getting drunk!

Roleplay only happens if there's something relevant. We had a general goods store where the shopkeeper was basically pic related, and he was involved in a quest hook we got

> Bad GM

This man has it right.
If a shopping trip doesn't take a session and a half, your players aren't playing properly and you should just say "Yeah, you can buy that, take [x] from your total monies", skipping it.

Still a classic reenactment
youtube.com/watch?v=-leYc4oC83E

>you didn't tell me you put on your trousers this morning, so you're adventuring in your underoos
>You didn't tell me you took a number 2, so you shit yourself
>You didn't tell me how you are breathing, roll for suffocation

>You didn't tell me you heard the right location for the dragon's cave, and now the lich wants to know why you've interrupted his bath. He looks very upset.
>You didn't tell me you brought the food you bought, roll for starvation with a situational bonus of +2 from the orphan's whose bellies you've indirectly filled raise their prayers in thanks for their mysterious patron.
>You didn't tell me you were born. How MUCH do your potential parents love each other?

It's infinitely sharp and also infinitely blunt

The grappling hook would just fall to the ground straight down the line, like fucking up wall collision in a video game

Literally happened to me

>We ride North until we find the town, or starve
>GM: Really? How much food did you bring.
>We have, on average, 6 days worth of rations
>GM: Alright, hand me your character sheets

He then ripped them up

"Ride until we starve" is a turn of phrase, don't be That GM

Could it shoot into space?

(you)

Believe you me, though it's been about 30 years so the phrasing of the situation is vague.

Did you lost any gold? If not then obviously you didn't bought shit.

You didnt bought it, face it newfag

What happened next!?!
Did Cheeto get a girl??

>No Wrong Fun
I bet you're a riot to hang out with

>Punch him in the face
>GM "Why did you punch me in my face?"
>You "Odd, I didn't say I was to punch you in your face, but it happened, I guess you were right GM doing and saying are different things in the game"

>im wrong
>better assault the person who is right
Americans

Wait. The Role Player wants to Role Play and you are punishing him for it by expressly via meta-ruling?
Shit GM detected.

How do you get so upset about a joke post that you start insulting your betters out of nowhere?

that's why text is superior

>Punishing a player for fucking playing the game
At least you are not my fucking DM, kys asap

This seems pretty easy to solve and depends on if the players asked the GM how much a climbing kit costs.

If no, nobody fucking bought shit.
If yes, then did anybody subtract the gold on from their sheet and add the climbing gear?

THAT WAS HARD

>"I told you before, everything you say is in character. So you make this weird speech to no one in particular. Your gods do not listen."

that's some vintage pasta right there

>players discussing a thing in abstract means the characters actually did the thing
Oh okay, I'll keep that in mind the next time the party has a discussion about whether the current NPC they're speaking to should be trusted or killed on the spot.
>oh but user that conversation happened out of character it doesn't count
>mfw

Discussing "We should buy X" among yourselves is different than telling the GM "We buy X"

This, every fucking time.

If he was an American, it would be something like this:
>literal 300 lb. neckbeard half-nigger DM who wears a fedora, white knights for females, fucked a tranny, and has cheetos-encrusted fingers
>"You're character dies from starvation"
>wtf, why?
>He leans forward, grease dripping from his patchy beard as he smiles with yellow teeth behind protruding nigger lips
>"Funny, I don't remember you telling me your character eat"
>shoot him in the balls with my AR-15
>he begins autistically reeing
>"why did you shoot me you fucking asshole?"
>"I didn't say I shot you so I guess it didn't happen, you triggered little snowflake"
>and then I threw him out of my house and called him a faggot

Truly the land of the free

...

Fine, but you need to roll an 80 or higher on your escape artist check, jackass.

But it started as an audio track from a comedy group

>infinitely blunt
What the fuck does that mean?

>having a dick the size of a grown human adult
Sweet.

I'd imagine Ladybug just clenches it real hard.

More or less yeah

Since the characters actually live in the world and are focusing on the task at hand, while the players usually barely pay attention once a week, I tend to make allowances for these kinds of situations.

If the players forget to bring a piece (just one) of gear that they really should have remembered, for example an experienced adventurer would remember to pack rope, a tent or a shovel even if the players forgot, I'll usually let them roll to see if their character remembered to buy it before setting out and let them subtract the price from their gold. If they forgot to bring a whole set of gear, like climbing gear when they specifically knew they were going climbing I usually let them roll Wisdom or something before they set out. If they forgot to pack climbing gear but they didn't know they were going climbing, they might either get a very hard roll or no roll at all, depending on my judgement. If it's something unreasonable, like a key for that door they happened to just now come across, then of course they're not going to get to roll for it.

>"Talking about it" is literally our only way to interact with the game world.
Did you cross out some money on your character sheet and write in the climbing gear? Did you show the DM? Are you a retard?

>Its Le Ebin "You've been framed, find the real culprits plot" for GMs with 0 creativity
>But not just that! We are being told we clearly did it, because a random ass person said we totally did, because we might have been interested in some gold bars he kept (no player ever even made a passing mention of it, and two literally said "Wait, who had gold bars?" Because he GM didn't fucking explain it as anything other than a single sentence in his massive rant.
>We are not even being framed
>They literally have 0 evidence
>Not even a witness
>Just some "RESPECTED" old man who thinks we might have done it
>We are told we either do it, or we get thrown in the prison camp at the port town for 2 years.
>Okay.jpg
The worst part is, that it is supposed to be a modern day campaign right after Hitlers fall, where we were meant to gather crazy inventions from his scientists, or stop them from making any insane experiments.

So in our world, in 1945+, our GM somehow thinks ordinary upstanding citizens, with no prior criminal record, can be thrown in jail for 2 years, despite 0 proof or witnesses, and only a random guess with nothing to substantiate it. They also can't find the stolen goods, obviously.

The aftermath was worse, and killed the campaign and group, as 2 of us left.
>You made that a lot worse than it should have been. Should just have stopped it, you knew someone had plans to steal the Gold.
>Except we only heard someone consider doing it, due to something with the patrols being retarded. And we are paying first class customers, finally on a break after a long and hard fight against a group of Nazi remnants. We are not here to do the job of the security personnel.
>You played it wrong, but it is okay, you haven't played as much role playing as I have, so I sometimes expect you to make more intelligent choices.

>I deducted gold from my character sheet and wrote "climbing gear" on it. Stop being a fucking retard.

>You played it wrong, but it is okay, you haven't played as much role playing as I have, so I sometimes expect you to make more intelligent choices.

No, it's important we keep up this meme that the people who actually play tabletop games (as opposed to us, the people who only talk about it) are completely incapable of communicating with other human beings.

Saw this thread this morning and thought "wow, do DMs really do this?"
But I am literally at a game right now where the gm said "well, you didn't SAY you made a fire, you just said you made camp."

Holy shit, this is hell.

...

You and your DM are not properly communicating with each other, you're playing retard DnD.

You're a piece of trash

This is the worst thing. I'm often faced with two ways of doing something: the interesting way, and the boring way. The fun way almost always ends up involving fairly arbitrary additional checks, potential damage or other drawbacks. Once informed of this, I will sigh and opt for the boring "I roll X" option - which succeeds and has the exact same effect, except that it's way less interesting.

So my question is why do people feel the need to throw up these roadblocks?

If my gm said that I'd just leave, I'm not playing with loonies.

>It's a real thing
So is having a crosspiece at the user end to stop accidents.

And that not only increases the cost to create while making it less easily concealable, it also interrupts the airflow, reducing the effective range to some extent.

Not unless it was made by a retard. Can't say I'm surprised, given the thread. Looking it up, seems that funnels or caps with smaller holes are more common.

The only saving grace to this situation is that you're not running a game that I'm in and are only fucking up a relatively small percentage of the community with your shitty GMing. I bet you also complain about your players always going for the optimum decision with the least risks too you homo faggot!
>So my question is why do people feel the need to throw up these roadblocks?
Because GM's like him think that every interesting option requires risk, even when the risks are low and/or don't make sense to the context of the situation.

Oh yes, because I love wasting my time roleplaying out a scene with NPC's who my character will never interact with past this specific moment.

>Players leave important item behind in a deep dark dungeon
>Hours later
>"we use the item"
>"but you didn't bring it with you"
>"...obviously we would have bought it with us since that makes sense"
>"but you didn't say you did"

So just go get the fucking item god damn what are you, scared of adventure? Make the DM play out the whole thing and expose his retardation

>"...obviously we would have bought it with us since that makes sense"

This is a fucking stupid mentality. You're playing a roleplaying game, and the GM can't be remembering everything. If you begin to assume things, then it's a bad time for players and GM's alike.

>Campaign is about killing [monster] using [macguffin].
>Players get [macguffin] after several weeks of play.
>Yet, because they didn't say they were holding onto [macguffin], they leave it behind where they found it.
>"Buh wait, where are you guys going? You can still get it back!"
GM's like you are the worse, why in the holy mother of fuck would you spend time getting an important item just to leave it behind in some dungeon somewhere? I'd rather assume that someone within the party grabbed it (especially when there are people with above average INT and WIS there) than to do the equivalent of saying "because you didn't SAY that you were opening the door, you slam head first into it, roll me a constituition to stay conscious!"

what if the item is subject to a curse and carrying it would've had severe consequences?
I don't like that kind of pedantic fuckery either when it has to do with mundane items like what OP was saying, but I give a pass for plot-significant stuff

>I love wasting my time roleplaying in a roleplaying game

So let me get this straight, you wasted time coming up with an item that's incredibly important to the plot...and you're just going to assume that they didn't take it when they had no reason not to take it?

I dunno what layer of metagame fuckery this is but we've obviously applied too many.

>>"...obviously we would have bought it with us since that makes sense"

No you didn't you fuckwits. We're not going to assume you do things, you have to actually fucking SAY you do things. That's how the fucking game works.

Why in the everliving fuck would you assume players do actions that they don't state they're going to do? Might as well not have players and just write the story as a book.

>STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE
>YOU'RE HAVING BADWRONGFUN
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I'm not the guy you're responding to, but to be honest... I don't care for all the NPCs. If I'm in a hurry to go and interact with another NPC that I find interesting, why would I want to play out buying a simple healing potion?

>I love carefully choosing each and every word I say like I'm making a wish or some shit.
I mean, if you want me to waste everyone's time by interrupting you to describe my character taking a piss (because hey, when you gotta go, amirite) then I'll go ahead and do it for the sake of "roleplay."

>"We go back into the dungeon we already emptied, get the item and return here on this exact spot."

Wow that was hard

That's not what we're talking about dickwad. We're talking about paying the fucking game as it's intended to be played. I'm not going to fucking assume gameplay actions from you stupid shits, if I did that there would be no reason for you to be there at all. You have to actually fucking play the game. You don't get to say retroactive "oh yeah we did that before we left" shit, you have to actually DO it before you leave. If you're not engaged enough to WANT to do that, FUCK OFF. You're worse than useless.

>Why in the everliving fuck would you assume players do actions that they don't state they're going to do?
Because if you're going to mount kickass for the legendary sword kickassia and you spend several weeks reaching said sword, I'm not going to assume that you just left the dungeon without the item that you were expressly fighting (and possibly dying) for.

This isn't a supermarket trip where you go for eggs and forget the eggs because you saw something else you needed, this is a group of adventurers fighting tooth and nail, spending precious resources, just to leave empty handed because the GM is a wanker who requires more exact wording than a wizard casting the wish spell.

I generally ask my GM if it's alright that I retro-actively have something if it would make sense for my character.

I, as a player, am dumb. I am forgetful. I haven't camped out in the wilderness alone and I most certainly haven't gone hunting deer and other game yet.

My character is different: pretty smart and has had numerous hunting trips worth of experience in her bag. So it would make sense for her to bring certain things she thinks she will need along.

What the GM and I do is this: I get two times that I can retrocatively buy something for the character, if it makes sense that my character brought it along.

Example:
>one time I forgot to say that I got rations for a week (the party had been in the city for the past couple of months and I didn't need to write off rations and so on) so the GM let me have a week's worth of food with me, as that would be common sense for a hunter to pack.
>I didn't specifically buy a spare bowstring, so when the old one snapped, I was allowed to say that I had a spare because my character knew it was old

And for the time being, it's worked out really well.

All in all, I would say that you should speak with the GM and come up with a solution that is Fun for both of you. Or at least a compromise so you don't find the game tedious and annoying.

>Because if you're going to mount kickass for the legendary sword kickassia and you spend several weeks reaching said sword, I'm not going to assume that you just left the dungeon without the item that you were expressly fighting (and possibly dying) for.

You should. Unless they actually say they pick the fucking thing up and somebody actually writes on their character sheet that they're carrying the item, they fucking left it there. And then you roleplay the story that comes from a party of gigantic dumbasses forgetting the priceless artifact. If you're feedling nice, you could ask them are they seriously going to leave the fucking thing there, but you don't have to. It's their responsibility to remember what the fuck they're doing.

>That's not what we're talking about dickwad.
That's exactly what you're talking about. If I don't interrupt the GM to describe how I'm relieving myself every so often, he might rule that my kidneys explode because I never bothered to say that I was actually taking the time to piss.
>I'm not going to fucking assume gameplay actions from you stupid shits
Well when you stop making assumptions based off "muh immersion" you end up in situations that make the player treat every single instance of roleplay like a carefully worded wish spell because they feel as though "well, if I don't mention that I'm doing a thing, the GM will fuck me over for it later." Most GM's I've seen who employ this shit are the type of shitters who think that they're meant to always screw over the party, rather than being impartial for the sake of keeping things fair.

This is why i essentially only ever play Star Trek RPGs with strangers and convention groups. It's nice to have a common framework of understand but one where actual experience doesn't count for anything.

In my last Pathfinder game, years ago now, our group had to disable a cargo ship.

Easy stuff so I just climbed to the top of the mast and started cutting the lines. This brought the group (a regular pathfinding group who already knew eachother) great hilarity and they busied themselves trying to find the key for the trap door 'under the water line' mocking me for wasting time up the mast.

It wasn't until the DM started chipping in and mocking me that i let him know I'd been living on Tallships for two years. A sailing ship can't sail without it's lines and there most definitely is not a trapdoor under the water line.

This is a very pretentious thing to say but I hate groups with very little life experience and DMs with no practical experience doubly so.

I really hate 'Press F to Use' roleplaying. If you're in a group with multiple people you should be getting the stronger men to boost the others over the wall or be looking for a tree or some defensive weakness.

I only ever get to DM outside of conventions and I always go much easier on anyone who's realistically trying to tackle problems. Any wall under 10ft is scaleable by two fit young men working together.

I'm ranting anyway. If it's not on their character sheets why would they think they have it.

I, meanwhile, like my players and the story we're creating together so if I feel they're forgetting something I remind them.
>"Before the two of you carry the cannon away from the tower, I should ask, which of the other two is carrying the powder keg and which is carrying the cannon balls?"
It's that easy. Hey, players, who's going to take the sword? Who's actually buying and carrying the climbing kit? What are you going to feed your horse?
I also tend not to care about micromanagement. I'll assume PCs, who are people who have to live full-time in the world, know to fill up on water and bring the right kind of food, wash and change their clothes when necessary, things like that. Your character is far more aware of how often they have to take a dump than you are, so I won't ask you to keep track of it.

Item bookkeeping is the worst part of D&D

>Filler episodes are good, they add to the narrative
That's you right now.

> Rogue: I give bard a bottle of skooma
> Bard (me): Huh, why? I drop it on the ground and smash it with my foot.
> Rogue: No, you don't, I manage to pick it up
Every fucking time. No rolls are made, GM sorta hears this, but does nothing. Meanwhile our mage is getting out of the shrubbery he fell in.
> GM: Mage, roll for Agility
> Mage: Uh-oh, I failed
> GM: Skooma bottle smashes into your face. You're now drugged
I now have no clue what the fuck is going on. Should've called bullshit on this moment, but didn't.
> Me: Ah, fuck. Well, uh, I put him on the floor and make sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit
> Rogue: I handle bard a potion bottle
Rouge is also an alchemist, because... I don't know, mage didn't want to take it.
> Bard: I make the mage drink it.
> Rogue: It's a 1d8 poison, lol!
> GM: Roll for damage... You lose 7 health out of 19
We're in a middle of a forest with no health potions. Took a 10 minute break because that was some obvious bullshit. GM didn't want to retcon the situation, blaming us for not articulating what we did properly.
Mage raged after the session, already trying to plan out rogue's murder.
The rogue guy likes to fuck around with other people, dragging them into shit they don't want to do, so the whole group gets mad at him once in while.

Everyone is talking about "the players need to state it", but if it's going to be something that comes up later, shouldn't you as a DM ask "did you want to do x before leaving"?