He is a wizard

>he is a wizard
>he doesn't develop a plant that can be refined into an ultrahigh-calorie, nonspoiling food
It's like you don't want to make money off the countless armies running around

Dude, I don't want social progress. An invention that might help people is a bad idea, because what happens when people are full and sated?

They start thinking of how much life would be better without wizards. You want them poor, superstitious, and entirely at your mercy.

...

There's two kinds of wizards.
And one thing they can both agree on.

I can literally just summon an earth elemental to fetch me all the gold I would want, why should I dirty my hands with peasant money?

More to the point, why should I give a damn what is going on beyond the walls of my tower?

As of 5E, a level 1 druid can sustain 20 people (or 19 in addition to themself) with their Goodberry spell, which contains the food and water for a day's survival. A level 1 variant human of any class with the Magic Initiate feat can sustain 10 people.
Supplying a population with magic is trivial.
There is no reason whatsoever for a wizard to dirty his hands with this.

Starvation and common disease are not actually problems on D&D planes, you know. All it takes is one wandering cleric to purge such trivial matters. Why are the populations low, then, you ponder?
Because the worlds are swamped with fucking monsters! It's not like the real world! There's dragons and giants and illithids and vampires all looking to hunt and prey upon the huge quantities of weak mortals like you suggest producing just because you're capable of feeding them all. It doesn't mean you have the capacity to arm and armor them, less than 1/1000 of a population actually makes it to level 5.

Because if some idiot crashes all the Planes with no survivors while you were paying absolutely no attention whatsoever, you've got nowhere to live.

Also, the fact that you completely rejected the world that birthed you upon gaining even a modicum of arcane might speaks to exactly why you should never have been allowed to acquire it in the first place.

The Gods of your setting are not doing their jobs.

See this is why your setting is going to be audited and erased by the local Overgod. You know. The boss of the guys who created you.

That's why I'm working on a dimension-travelling spell.

So instead of just saddling up and doing the at-this-point-easier bit of making your world a better place, you're going to run away and hope an Overgod doesn't chase you down to the next few multiverses over?

When I was studying to become a Wizard, the peasants tried to have me burnt as a witch. Now the shoe's on the other foot, they can get fucked. I didn't master the arcane arts to help the common man, I did it to live a life of staggering luxury.

You ever think maybe they were trying to do that because screwing them over is what all the other wizards did, with less and less reason the further back you go, and now they try to prevent as many wizards from flowering as they can, just to have some modicum of stability and sanity in their own lives?

>not developing fire and forget weapons for them.
>with backdoors, licenses and copyright.
Why create food when you can create closed source spells with extra licenses, copyright notice and all?

>general uses ring of obliteration
>message appears 'to nuke more than 2 armies per year please deposit 1000 gold coins per army.'
>'for only 5000 you can get a protective measure against nuke from country of your choice. Only five left!'

Yeah, but the alternative is worse. If those fuckers got organized, they could wipe all Wizards out. I'm okay with being hated and feared - If you're hated but not feared, you're fucked. You don't want pig farmers to get ideas above their station.

Because I'm not a wizard for gold, or bitches, or even glory.

I'm a wizard to do asinine shit and piss off the dm.

Problem with calorie pills and such is that they have no actual substance behind them.

You eat a egg and most of that shit will be high in calories but your body will burn trough it and throw it all to waste.

>he's a wizard
>he hasn't ascended beyond the need to eat food
>he doesn't help people ascend beyond the need for food

Fleshbags get out.

This, however, is pure beet sugar. It gets used and can feed an orcish horde of any size for any length of time

Just stop an apocalypse and use it as a write off on your karmic taxes.

>He is a wizard
>He is willing to throw all carnal enjoyment into the trash for some empty, autistic "power"

>he's a wizard
>he doesn't know how to cast veil of flesh

Veil of Life
Transmutation
Level: Cleric 3, sorcerer/wizard 3 Components: V, S, DF/M
Casting Time: 1 standard action Range: Close (25 ft + 5 ft / 2 levels) Target: One corporeal undead creature Duration: 10 minutes/level (D)
Saving row: Will negates (harmless) Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)
is spell gives a seeming of life to a cor- poreal undead creature, making it look like a living member of the race it was before death and undeath. e target regrows esh, blood, and organs, gaining the ability eat, drink, breathe, and perform all other bodily functions. A transmuted undead creature can re- assume its undead form at will as a move action. This spell does not confer sentience, and merely animated undead are quickly revealed under scrutiny.
Arcane Material Component: One ounce of blood from the target’s native species, drawn less than one day before casting (or preserved via gentle repose).

Lets be real here. If a lich went around and turned peasants into wights the world would be a better place.

>no food
>no water
>no air
>CR 1 to CR 3
>intelligence and and stat bonuses

Best race.

Wasn't this the plot of a Nodwick story?

It's hilariously trivial to accomplish in 3.5.
1. Learn Locate City (level 1 spell)
2. Learn the Snowcasting feat
3. Learn the following metamagics: Widen Spell (+3 levels), Flash Frost Spell (+1 level), and Fell Drain (2 levels)
4. Prepare a [Cold] Flash Frost Fell Drain Widened Locate City in a 7th level spell slot
5. cast and watch everything in 20 miles/caster level with 1 HD be slain instantly and rise as a wight at the next night
6. ???
7. realize you have just sent out a multiversal signal to summon Atropus, the World Born Dead, who will bear down upon your world over the course of the next 7 months and extinguish it of all life