You slide into a game shop, and see two sassy game dames rolling the bones at a table near the back

You slide into a game shop, and see two sassy game dames rolling the bones at a table near the back.

You've only got one chance to impress them with your game knowledge with a slick opening line. How do you approach them?

" So.......3.5, or pathfinder?"

t. xXPussySlayerXx

it's kind of pathetic how bad Cestree's fat, milky tits get me.

>impress them
That's stupid. Just fucking talk to them, you dingbats. You're not at a nightclub or some shit.

I slide up in my most comfortable crocs&socs, shorts and finest trenchcoat and tip my fedora. I'd thoughtfully-but stylishly run my fingers through my wild but stylish beard, showing how thoughtful I was in the same gesture. "M'lady" I'd say, knowing the entry to a pure woman's heart is just as pliable and slick as putting on my fingerless gloves. When she'd look up and down to me, I'd say "Oh, don't mind my katana- it's for our protection. I'd give my life for you" I'd say; nary a stutter and always keeping my eye contact. Then I'd totally gut that bastard gary and bring her his head to prove that I'm an alpha and he really cheated with his stupid artifact commander deck, there's no fucking way he could get that darksteel forge out on turn three, and the judge should have sided with me!

>talking to strangers
>talking to gaymin girls

No thank you. I go find my friends, watch whatever game they're playing, and ask them if any of them don't have one scheduled for when this one is over.

"Oooooh, girl, I'd love to ram my century worm into your dirty otyugh."

Why else would girls be playing in a LGS?

Hey, what are you playing?

“Hey, cool dice! Did you buy them here, I’ve been looking to replace my old set.”

Or in other words have an actual casual conversation if you have to interrupt their fun.

>How do you approach them?

Depends on the setting.

>"Hey, did you know that big breasts cause manor back problems later in life, Boobplate is unrealistic, and women can walk in front of bulkets just as well as men?"

I don't

Why so beta.

Geimu o shimasenka?

Via walking.

>not introducing yourself with gomenasai

It's like you don't even want to be an animator for studio Ghibli.

This, honestly.

Immediately rape them, since feminism has thankfully not yet permeated into table top gaming culture.

That's about a wrap innit

>D20
>D20 is an inherently flawed system because they almost all draw too heavily from dnd
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Very sound logic.

Take it to /r9k/ you twats.

You don't try and display your knowledge of something to a woman. That's gatekeeping/mansplaining. You ask them to teach you the game, even if you already know it.

I get that this post is bait, but what does the bulkets part mean? was there some meme I missed? or am I just dumb?

And then you laugh when they fuck it up because obviously they will. Devious.

From the side.

...

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Thats a nice character you got there. You know i played a teifling once.

Roll my weighted "69" d-percentile then grin and wink at them.

Most realistic post in the thread.

Least funny post, though.

>"Oh, whoops, these are the wrong dice."

>"Unless you want them to be the right ones..."

>blow ass
This made me chuckle.

>pat navel
Sounds boring.

>Now you can literally roll like ass

He meant bullettes.

Sounds like you've been doing it wrong.

Because Gamer girls are all cancerous sluts.

I don't because I'm really probably getting to be hitting on teen/twentysomething girls at shops who are likely there because of their significant other.

>...getting *too old* for hitting on...
*cough*
Pardon.

>slide over to tghe table
Ladies
>roll a loaded d20
>make explicitly clear I'm making a seduction check

honestly her cheerful personality gets me because i'm thirsty for emotional reinforcement

Well, I have a new fetish.

...

There's nothing wrong with being a slut. Nobody tells you to take her back home to show your folks. You can take her at the nearest bathroom.

Phone's keyboard and a lack of rereading.

Anyway that's all stuff I learned that girl gamers like. If I'm wrong then Veeky Forums's lied to me.

I ask if they want to see my optimised level 20 loli kitsune wizard in Pathfinder, then I put on my robe and wizard hat

"Eyy beb, wnt sum fuk?"

Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>You've only got one chance to impress them with your game knowledge with a slick opening line
I roll to be That Contrarian Asshole who doesn't like people or feel the need to impress strangers.

>being into girls

I put my 2500 pt tyranids on the table, stranglethorn cannons on prominent display

Sauce on image?

"H-hey ladies, can I roll seduction for either of you haha"

>foreplay dice
Kinda lame.

I don't. I'm gay. I suck more dick than OP.

...

They either have been or inevitably will be approached by every raging autist in the store, almost certainly made to feel as uncomfortable as possible.

I'm not going to throw myself on that garbage fire.

Initiate conversation, ask about what is being played.

Show more interest in the campaign than the system. More interest in the characters than the builds.

Me too, bro. But also fat tits.

>Elf has tits
>Sorcerer has normal sized chest
Fuck this artist.

Having a pulse doesn't make you pathetic.

*Spills Spaghetti*

Have you guys heard of Critical Role?

what are you guys playing?

...