What if the emperor was a girl?

Slightly fewer fa/tg/uys would masturbate to him.

Jesus why is the Kroot so cute? and how is an Ork cute!? Fuck this for existing and being good

The exact same shit happens, except now the SOBs are full on gay, further blueballing everyone in the imperium.
>there are people in this world that would unironically pick something other than the Krieg girl

The Emperor being female wouldn't change anything in itself but the Primarchs, Astartes and Space Marines would be women, that's enough changes to make the events relating to them different.
Maybe no Horus Heresy, maybe something else instead.

>Maybe no Horus Heresy, maybe something else instead.
Isis Insurrection? The other question is whether SoB remain all-female order or become sausage party instead.

>No qt brother of battle

EMPRESS-CHAN WA KAWAIIIIIII

*melts*

Who’s emperor?

If the time line goes the same then yes, vandire still rebells and the church gets banned from having men in their army

The God Empress would have darker skin than that, the Emperor was born in Turkey.

Makes sense

>implying kroot aren't already the cutest race in 40k

Anatolia, not turkey.

Then we'd presumably still have this thread every week, but asking "What if the empress was a guy?" instead.

Was about to say, the Turks didn't exist at all during the Neolithic, the earliest they can be established ancestrally is 600 BC.

You're looking at the heydey of Aşıklı Höyük, Sagalassos , Çatalhöyük, and Çayönü.

Çayönü was the youngest, but incidentally is where cattle, pigs, and wheat may have been first domesticated.

Five bucks that Çayönü was where the Emperor established himself in Warhammer -8K.

I would gladly worship this thigh and die for the god-emperess.

so an empress?

fpbp

Then it would be Empress.

Please stop making this thread

This.
Also, fucking kek'd

I want femps to sit on my face

>not choosing the Empress so you can get the Krieg girl as your second option

Dude, stop. It's heresy, not HEResy.

So...a crusader?

(s)he use glamour anyways, so... Maybe the Emprah did appear as a woman to some.

>You're gonna cum dust

Way ahead of you there, sir.

Anatolia was as white as it gets during the time he was born. Seljeuk turks invaded the peninsula only 500 years ago.

Brothers of battle

Like I said in the last thread about this, it means I would be writing a lot more femdom porn about her

Uh... try just under 1000.

>Please stop making this thread
Why would you think that encouraging OP with delicious upset noises would cause him to do anything else besides continuing to make this thread again and again?

...

Fuck (You).

Wow, you gave him like 6 (You)s in one post! You must really like him.

Probably hoping he'll OD.

Salt for the salt god!

Mehmet my son...

Who made this? It’s amazing.

I recently learned that a chinese empress Wu Zetian required all visiting dignitaries to perform cunnilingus on her.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Cunnilingus#Chinese_Empress_Wu_Zetian
Just sayin'.

I really like your picture. Please accept this humble gift in return.

sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/10/171023094942.htm

Not to say they were farmed and bred for yield and hardiness, but interesting nonetheless.

Nothing wrong with admiring her perfect form user, just so long as you worship her
So get down on you knees and worship your goddess's divine derriere

Eternal empresses are quite common in fiction, they usually work quite well.

40K wise the primarchs could have been her children, male, female whatever. The whole of 40K fiction could then have shamelessly aped ww1, with all the children fighting each other.

It could have been cool

"Ancient hunter-gatherers began to systemically affect the evolution of crops up to thirty thousand years ago -- around ten millennia before experts previously thought -- according to new research."

I buy it. But this aint domestication and farming, though.

There'd be no bitching about the idea of female space marines.

The people who inhabited Anatolia before the Turks weren't any whiter than the Turks themselves.

...

Sure as hell wouldn't wear skimpy fapbait thighs-free boobplate.

The Hittites? Aren't they a semitic people?

>all space marines a corgis now
I can dig it.

I know this is just bait but basically everything would be better. If the Emperor (Empress?) were female, the primarchs would be female, and their stupid brotherly rivalries wouldn't have become/exasperated the Horus Heresy into the cataclysmic event that it was.

I'm not even memeing. Malcador literally suggested to Big E that the primarchs be female for this very reason.

The Hittites came way, way after. They're youngsters in the grand scheme of Anatolian history.

Female rivalry is even worse. Chaos would reign after Isis Heresy.

This is false. They were about as pale as greeks or maybe persians, and both of those peoples can get really pale.

Female rivalry is worse than male rivalry, but brotherly rivalry is worse than female rivalry.

"It is generally assumed that the Hittites came into Anatolia some time before 2000 BC. While their earlier location is disputed, it has been speculated by scholars for more than a century that the Kurgan cultures of the Pontic Steppe, in present-day Ukraine, around the Sea of Azov spoke an early Indo-European language during the third and fourth millennia BC."

So wrong, not the Hittites, and wrong, the Hittites weren't Semitic.

We actually don't know the name of the people living in Anatolia at this timeframe. From my understanding the earliest attestation of names we have are the Hatti, who were conquered by the Hittites. But the Hattic appear to have only been a people since the 3000 BCs onward.

Basically - the Emps not Turkish, nor Hittite, but would be of some people we don't even have a name for.

Female tendencies of inclusiveness and conflict aversion would destroy the Imperium as Xenos and Heretics flood in unopposed

>They were about as pale as greeks or maybe persians

If we're being honest with ourselves, we have no way of knowing this. To my knowledge the oldest peoples in Anatolia were the Luwians, and their origins could have been anywhere from the Balkans to the Lower Volga to Central Asia; we just don't know.

...

>There are people in this thread that would choose more than one girl of any kind
Harem fags are the worst

Hittite is an Indo-European language. Not a Semitic language like Arabic, Hebrew, ancient Egyptian, etc. Best evidence is the Hittites migrated into Anatolia from the Balkans/Black Sea region and were one of the later Indo-European migrations.

The only remaining Indo-European speakers in Anatolia are the Kurds, who's language is more from Farsi than anything else, so they're probably not a remnant.

Although in "Master of Mankind", the Emperor Himself was noted as speaking a proto Indo-European language.

The Levant was the nexus where Indo-European peoples and Semitic Peoples met.

That’s literally how the game works.

>Luwians
4500BC at the earliest. The Luwians were Indo-European speakers.

Yeah, but we can guess. We know that Big E was born 8000 BC to a tribe of "proto-hittites," we know that the Hittites were indo-aryans, and we know that indo-aryans tend to be pale. Therefore, we can assume that the Emperor was pale.

I read the thing for a while, tried to work out the rules assuming it was some dweeb "top trumps" game

No its just fap material... disapointed

>Used panty sales demonstrate that female genital hygiene is not important to all men
But the whole point is because they like the dirty panties, not that they want an unwashed girl...

>Although in "Master of Mankind", the Emperor Himself was noted as speaking a proto Indo-European language.

PIE came after, 5500BC as an earliest estimate, and wouldn't have hit Anatolia until 4500-3500 BC with the Luwians, Pala, and later the Hittites.

>8000BC
>Proto-Hittites
>Central Anatolia

No. Just, no. The Hatti are often (erronously) called Proto-Hitites, but A) 8000BC is way too early for them, and B) They weren't Indo-European.

How many people from Turkey do you actually know, user?

I'm aware at how stupid the timeline is, but the lore specifically uses the words "Proto-Hittite" and "8th millenium BC."

Well, the lore is stupid.

And the Emps aint Indo-European.

that does sound fun.

That's a cute empress

What if emporer was faget?

What do you mean, "What If"?

Dammit, Horus, just because Daddy Emps didn't love you, you know, physically, doesn't mean you get to slander him for all eternity. Gotta let it go, man.

The setting is 40k, you poltroon. Don't be obtuse.

Don't be an idiot.

I am not Horus.

I am just the sentient disembodied butt of Horus. I wish to pound Horus in the butt with his own butt.

.........aaaand I'm off to bed.

The Seljuks did not magically replace the population. Lookswise they got anatolized.

More porn I guess?

Chuck Tingle please go and stay go.

I come and go.

/No seriously, off to bed for me now.

...

The Gorgonites are gonna feel this one!

>beeg
>Imperial
>TIDDIES

[User was blammed for this post]

I’m suprised how this thread went from the normal “what if Emps was female” to a discussion about what ancient people the emperor was born to

Kek

What would she be into?