You remembered to jerk off before going to the game right?

you'd be crazy to go in with a full clip

I really don't get this shit. It's the same as "hurr durr jerk off before a date". Why? Are you really that hormonally driven that you can't think straight until la petite mort?

Then there's also the problem that the heartboner never stops raging until you die. I prefer cute stuff or cute stuff with lewd undertones over pure magical realm. Shit like the righteous paladin and the kindhearted cleric both clearly wanting to fuck, but they're the only ones who don't know this. Shit like the rest of the party purposely leaving them alone at certain moments, which only results in incredibly awkward small talk and accidentily brushing eachother's hands, then profusely apologizing for it.

Hey man this is a blue board take that shit to /d/.

not jerked off in a week. kinda sucks b ut that's meds for you

Have I mentioned the part where both of their parents know about their feelings and approve of them and have already made wedding arrangements and are just waiting for the two of them to stop being such dense motherfuckers yet?

I'm an adult who's had sex with a human woman before, I have enough self-control that it's not important.

L-lewd
That is way to perverted even for a fetish. Too much for here. Take that shit to the dark web. Don't get me on a watch list you sick freak.

Even /d/ wouldn't go that far you sick bastard.

Look, I'm running an ERP game so it requires a fine balance of 'horny enough to keep thinking this next bit is a good idea' and 'staying in control of myself because I'm running the game dammit'.

But that is more than we can say for most of Veeky Forums.

To be fair, there were a looooot of comments in the game I played in in undrgrad about me needing to get laid. I forget why but it probably had something to do with stuff I said or did, I don't know. Got to the point where one of the guys asked me if I masturbated or if it was against my religion or something, cause apparently they thought I needed a release pretty badly.

I made a point to remember to, um, handle things at some point before going over, and the teasing lessened a bit.

And if you browse Veeky Forums and see this, frak you Paulo. You wound up being right but still.

>At some point they have to rescue a noble's infant son from a group of bandits and safely escort him back home
>Along the way everyone mistakes the two for the parents of the child, commenting on how they make a cute family

Dude, you need to go outside. It's not healthy to delve this deep.

L-lewd

...

...

You've gone too far.

>After returning the young nobleman to his parents, the two start discussing how it was actually quite fun pretending to be a little family
>The conversation moves to the subject of actually starting a family of their own
>They both implicitly admit that they wouldn't mind building a real family with the other

S-s-st-toooohoooop.

You are way too lonely to be spending daylight hours on Veeky Forums and not finding some goddamn girls to be friends with.

...

Why?
It has precious proteins that I prefer to not waste

>Not recycling your comeuppance.

My body does it naturally.

>They finally get married
>Their families, their party, all their friends and even the king of the realm show up for a grand celebration
>They're halfway through exchanging their wedding vows when suddenly the BBEG bursts into the church and everyone falls silent
>"Took you long enough!"
>Turns out the BBEG has taken it upon himself to supply the food and beverages for the wedding
>His masterpiece is a finely crafted wedding cake he made himself, with some help of his minions
>For dinner, everyone will be served some of his famous orphan surprise
>The surprise is that it's made by orphans who are paid 125% of minimum wage

>last spoiler

you monster

Christ dude, I can't take it anymore.