Meanwhile on Demon Hunter Veeky Forums

So guys... I just got the weirdest job request this week.

Apparently someone wants me to hunt down, and I swear this is real, a demon turkey.

Has anyone ever encountered one of these things before? 'cause I've never heard of them until today. Maybe its one of those glitches from reality getting rebooted last month or something...

Take it to demon hunter /qst/

>demon turkey
>demon
>turkey

Now I've seen everything.

Uhm... trick it to looking up while its raining and get it to drown itself? Turkey's aren't that bright to begin with, I suspect demon ones aren't much smarter.

>trick it to looking up while its raining and get it to drown itself
I understood that reference.

Well played fellow hunter. Well played indeed.

They are relative of the nine headed geese.

Nine-headed geese?!

THAT'S A THING?!

...

Not to interrupt, but I have a bit of a sphinx problem.

I was called out to a village in Egypt to deal with a sphinx that's been lurking outside the outskirts, but the usual method doesn't seem to be working.

No.

>but the usual method doesn't seem to be working
What, she's not accepting your answers to her riddles then?

I encountered a demon turkey once. Turns out it was a polymorphed demon T-Rex, the byproduct of a warlock's time-travel shenanigans. It was then I found out I was my own grandfather. Explains why a checkup with two medical doctors and an ordained priest I was told one-fourth of my DNA was missing, and I had six billion tiny chicken souls tightly lumped together under my left kidney. So whatever you do, don't fuck the turkey.

>So whatever you do, don't fuck the turkey.
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!

I was hunting a skinwalker as part of my spirit quest, when Senator McCarthy, yes Cold War era Senator McCarthy in 2017, offered me a bottle of enchanted honey Jack Daniels. I had already gone though three bottles of Jack Daniels, as was necessary to harness the supernatural power for my spirit quest, so I thought no harm could come from one more bottle. What happened after was fuzzy, but when I came to I had a bag of faces on me. The first face was accusing the other faces of being communist spies, and the second face admitted to being a communist spy other of fear of the first face. The third face, however, thought the other faces were idiots. He told me to eat the other faces and place him into my journal. Still a bit addled in the head, I complied. The two faces continued to prattle on even as I chowed down on them, not noticing my grinding of teeth on their flesh in the slightest. I must say, they were quite salty, a bit like pork. Anyways, what were we talking about?

Why don't you just use your mod powers to delete the thread?

Note to self: do not get high while demon hunting.

No, no, no, man. This is supreme intoxication. Psychoactive drugs are a whole different brand of mojo. It's like the difference between a warlock and a witch. The alcohol, it retards the mind but enervates the demons within, opening a pathway for the spirits to reach through. Weed is like... a hot air balloon, you know?

Anyways, continuing from , when I went to get some water, I saw my reflection in the pond, and my face was gone. A bit sobered up this time, I double checked the face in my journal, and it was indeed my own. In the time I had gone it was scribbling with its eyebrows a detailed history of what had transpired while I was blacked out. So it would seem that even when the mind forgets the flesh remembers. However, there were names and words I didn't recognize schematics of what looked to be the lizardfolk Kama Sutra. Taking it back to the elders of the village I was studying under, they told me I was destined to fuck up great things.

Greetings Demon Hunters, Most if you already know me as the happy merchant with the magical wares. I’m going to jump to he meat of the subject. I have weapons and baubles of power ready for acquisition.

I’m currently having 12 AR-15s with various magical effects and physical modifications ready for sale, all in accordance with the ATF’s Paranormal Gun Clauses.
The list of enchantments include
>Frost enchantment on the barrel to increase the barrel’s life time
>Sound killer enchantment to minimize noise made by the gun
>Bottomless enchantment on the drum magazine to double the magazine size from 50 to 100
>the arm brace was reinforced to endure drawn out firing sequences
>Haste enchantment on the trigger assembly to increase the fire rate by 15%, the maximum allowed by the ATF. This enchantment stretches to your hands, making you squeeze 15% faster as well.

Of course, there’s place for 2 more enchantment legally speaking because the ATF places a limit of 7 enchantments per gun.
So these two enchantment that are left are for you hunters to apply yourself or for me to do it for you. These rifles will be at the cost of 7800$ USD or it’s equivalent in other forms of currency, including gold, silver, mithril, orbs, really anything worth money in the Merchant’s Guild. I also accept trade ins of various magical items and artifacts. No cursed items, no matter how much you try, I have spectacles that detects curses and corruptions.

We have these for you, O' dearest Enchanter. Should suffice for the guns we tihnk.

Yes, I have encountered Canadian Geese before. Make sure you have an escape route planned out in advance.

Now, I'm not saying I have anything worth trading for one of your lovely guns. Not saying I don't either. But, if I did have something to trade, I can assure you that it's not ATF legal. Would you be interested in what I may or may not have, or are you the kind of merchant who ties his shoelaces extra tight?

...

Seek the Blade Eternal. It will fix everything.

>If I say "I HATE THIS THREAD!!" enough times, maybe they'll go away

>However, there were names and words I didn't recognize schematics of what looked to be the lizardfolk Kama Sutra.
>Lizardfolk Kama Sutra
>Lizard
>Kama Sutra

Well, they weren't wrong when they said you were destined to fuck up great things if your eyebrows scribbled down the schematics of THAT of all things.

>What, she's not accepting your answers to her riddles then?
No, she's not. I think... I think she might be in heat or something.

Can sphinxes even capable of being in heat?
Do we have any Egyptian experts or something on here?

Also, why are there still all these islands floating in the sky? I thought the King in Yellow's 'reboot' was reset already?

ooh yes, Strange coins of The Nine, these will do fine.
the ATF only affects Earth, and most of you Demon Hunts act on Earth, I can just resell the weapon somewhere else with no problem.

It's not fair is the problem user. Threads like this are fun, and so when shit like the Mages Guild gets kicked out but DHTG and motherfucking, I get suspended for saying this and it makes me MAD. CYOA's get to remain, well it is obviously bullshit mod bias.
Badwrongfun is so much worse when there are exceptions

...

It's the holidays, shit always gets weirds near the holidays. I still can't have a Christmas tree in the house after dealing with a tree spirit that camouflaged itself as a giant Christmas tree to lure people to it. We found so many bodies under that thing.

I can't emphasize this enough, so much weird shit has happened to me around the holidays. From giant bunnies hiding explosive eggs all around my house to all hell breaking loose on Halloween every year to being attacked by a midget with a pot of gold holidays are always a pain in the ass.

...

I'M GOING TO FUCK THE FEAR TURKEY!!!!

Calm down Alucard.

And for god's sake, quit terrorizing the Pope!

...

Anyone happen to know what to do with, um... I'm gonna say, "corrupted" firearms? I've got an old USP that I used to kill some kind of war demon a few days ago, and now it's starting to leak blood from the magwell and the barrel, and I get REALLY angry when I hold it. I don't think it's possessed; I made sure the demon was properly banished before I left, but the changes are starting to worry me.

Might be worth noting that I killed the demon by pistol-whipping the fucker's skull in.

Have it sent to me, I can tell you the nature of corruption and curses thanks to years of study on many magical items and of my special glasses. The Mages’ Guild is always on the lookout for something new to study

...

Yeah, but watch out, its a minor gluttony demon, I think. Or maybe vengeance, it really depends.

You'll find out either way, either its going to try to force you to gorge on it, until you burst, or it takes over the other turkeys and they eat you. Woo irony. Stupid vengeance demons have no creativity.

Stay safe out their johnny.

...

New Hunterswake reporting in.
Forest's still gone. God damn, Nyarly, fix your fixes!

Soak it's feathers in water so it won't try to combust when it's on the ropes.

I've tried that. The damn sword turned into a giant tower and spat out several rotund machines.

Mmh...some are capable, but most just do the riddle bit.
Try leading her towards Greece, it's better if she mates with her own species.
As for the reboot? I'm guessing it was just stabilizing the world enough to resume existence, since the forest around town is still a weird pixellated void barring the sword tower.

It happened with /wst/ and quests.

Greece is the domain of the marble emperor now, not sure i'd dare go there

It's enough you lead her to the border. It's the marble emperor's problem from then on.
She's a sphinx, she knows what her people look like and can take care of herself.

If that doesn't work, i've heard talk from Dog-Ear that her old adoptive family owned a bookstore for heraldry and mythic texts. Maybe look for some sort of kemono encyclopedia there for sphinx mating rituals?

>God damn, Nyarly, fix your fixes!
Wasn't it Hastur who 'fixed' everything? Do we really want any eldritch entities try to "fix" the world again?

Oh, and WHAT THE FUCK IS THING?!?!

At least St. Nick takes up the vigil on Christmas eve.

Fuck, I need help. But first, storytime

I had to move back to Jersey for a family reunion and my grand-dad wanted to give me some of his old war-time things. Aside from mundane baubles and trinkets I found a couple things that felt odd to hold. An iron-cross from an SS officer, a luger with a jammed action (probably has been jammed since the '40s), a k98 that always has sand in it but works perfectly fine, and an officer's hat with a pair of goggles.
Took em to a mage friend of mine, he couldn't recognise what was up with them. I tried making an appointment with the mage's guild to get them appraised but they're booked all the way till next year. Do any of you have any idea what's up with them? My grand-dad served in Europe and North Africa if that helps at all.

>At least St. Nick takes up the vigil on Christmas eve.
>St. Nick
About that...

I swear to god, if you did something to St. Nick I will shove a chainsaw up your ass!

Yeah, it is. And it's as terrible as you think it is. It's like the distilled essence of every Canadian's repressed anger in bird form, and can shrug off twice-blessed granulated silver 00 Buck like it was rainwater.

Just need to find yourself an Androsphinx. Think I met one in... Iraq? a few years ago, he's single last I knew...
We're pen pals after I helped him solve an Ifrit problem, okay? Shut up.

And a quick question of my own.
I recently had the pleasure of meeting my daughter's friends that she has over to the house for tea parties.
They're goddamned vampires.
And not "sparkly golem" ones, or "is that the sun-poof" ones. No, that'd be easily remedied.
These two girls are capital "Fuck Everything" vampires on par with fucking .
They had a Christforsaken chupacabra on a leash with them.
I've already checked my daughter for any signs that they fed on her, but she's squeaky clean.
But they can come and go whenever, now.
Do I just lump it, and try to make nice? Because I'm pretty sure they could mince my ass quicker than you could say "rookie mistake" if I went up against them.

>felt odd
I'm going to need a better description than that. Also, how good is this mage? Because some of this stuff can be very subtle.

My guess is low-end residual spells.
Happens often with WW2 memorabilia.
Only one i'd chuck is the cross - it's proven nazis had odd contingencies for various threats.

I don't think he did anything.
The barkeep would have lopped his head off for killing one of the VIP customers.
He's just showboating.

That said, Nyarly! I'd have half a mind to sic Ashley here on your arse for the shoddy repair job you did over at New Hunterswake outskirts! We still don't have our misty forest back, Dog-Ear's having trouble sleeping because of the corrupt bleeping wafting over from the void where it was! Fix your fixes, by jove!

Eh, let it slide.
Actually, set up a contingency.
I've done some research on vamp logic, i can safely say you both will be fine if you explain to them, in no uncertain terms, that if either you or someone from your family or friends group is directly or indirectly harmed by them they're no longer welcome by any measure.
When Jack and i tested conditionals like that, my house and the inn started playing tennis with him.
Held onto his beer stein admirably, though.

That's what I would normally say, but any decent mage can tell you if that's the case. Other than that I would say to definitely dispose of the cross in the proper manner, otherwise it could continue to cause problems, I can't give specifics because I don't know what's wrong with it.
I agree with the vamp plan as well, that should work perfectly fine.

>That said, Nyarly
>keeps calling me Nyaly even tho I'm Hastur
.....You're not very bright are you?

As for the New Hunterswake outskirts... Have you tried checking the island floating in the sky above the void where the forest was yet?

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeelax... I didn't do anything to St. Nick.

Now the 'Little Drummer Boy'... Hehehehahahahaha...

Ah, sorry there mate.
It's easy to muddle you two together since Nyarly's started cribbing your style for some reason.
Now that i think of it, he wears more white than you do.

And, yeah, we checked the island. It's just random ruins the Bluerun brothers identify as "celtic, but with norse runics". They're twiggering around with that.
I'm completely convinced the forest didn't fly off, considering i saw it fall downwards when i looked over the void's edge. Funny thing is, no one can go down there, it's like the weird, electric blue circuit-patterned void is somehow solid enough to hold the weight of every drunken inn customer, the barkeep and the reindeer and sleigh of one of the patrons!

Oh hey Yellow. Its nice to see your around.
I got a personal question for you may not be your skill set. Point is I May of have just found out I can use my Blood as a sort of magical catalyst (not summoning but full on weapons and spells).
Sort of like that game that some old hunters made, Bloodborne I think it was called, I am only using it for a better explanation

>Actually, set up a contingency
Hadn't thought of that. I'll give it a shot.
Only problem I can foresee now is their servants.
They got one head maid, always accompanies them. Human from what I can tell. Something weird about her, though. Seems she can get anything for her mistresses all too quick, like she has extradimensional pockets in her apron, or can manipulate time or something.
Talking with my daughter, they also have some unknown type of Chinese monster guarding their mansion, and some ancient mage(possibly a lich) and a lesser succubus in their mansion's library.
Though I think my kid's playing me false with her talk of the mansion's staff, as she says the maids are mostly faeries. Last I knew, fae and demons/vampire didn't mix. Unless shit's changed in the last year or two I've been out of the business for family matters.

>They got one head maid, always accompanies them. Human from what I can tell. Something weird about her, though. Seems she can get anything for her mistresses all too quick, like she has extradimensional pockets in her apron, or can manipulate time or something.
>Talking with my daughter, they also have some unknown type of Chinese monster guarding their mansion, and some ancient mage(possibly a lich) and a lesser succubus in their mansion's library.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit.
Set up the contingency, quick, and have someone set up wards to extend the contingency's conditions to anyone the vampires associate with.
If push comes to shove and your daughter gets captured or damaged enough, don't just go fighting willy nilly.
Find a priestess of a poverty-stricken shrine and a kleptomaniac witch first. Can't recall who the priestess is, but the witch's name was something like Marina Kawasaki or something like that.
You're not dealing with straight vampires, you're dealing with half-youkai.

Oh, one of *those*. It's just a spirit of a child/adult with supernatural powers that went "Bad" basically. It just wants other devour the other children with supernatural abilities so that it can once more regain a semi-human form. From what I can tell, it's not actually a Demon, just a very, very, very ,very insane and very hungry spirit, that's become increasingly twisted from being trapped in such a state.

Fucking wonderful. That explains the missing booze and the Tengu feathers in the bushes outside my kid's room, too, doesn't it...
Welp, looks like I need to talk to my Japanese monsters contact, see if she can't hook me up with some of those guard sunflowers she grows in her spare time. I think she had one that acted as a magical case shot. Just going to have to remember to take it easy with the weed whacker for a bit.

Let this be a lesson, kids: never, ever, take contracts in Japan or on the goddamn moon without getting shit in writing and reading ALL the fine print.

I know the pain, I worked for Polish once and they fucked me over by sending me into a swarm of Giant Ant Lions. Fun fact they don't pay for "Work" related injurys when fighting demons and monsters

Δεν είμαι υπηρεσία διάθεσης για τους kυνηγούς. Είμαι ο αυτοkράτορας της Ρώμης

>I'm not a mood for mistresses. I am the autocrat of Rome
Well, it's good to see that the soulless mass of stone actually has a sense of humor.

Well you can bloody well play matchmaker after the stir you've caused.
Or, what, are you afraid of failing to find a partner for the sphinx?
I expected more of an imperial talos...

Φυσιkά έχω ψυχή, είμαι αντιβασιλέας του Θεού στη γη
όλοι παίζουμε τα μέρη μας σύμφωνα με το σχέδιο του Θεού. Ο ρόλος μου είναι να kυνηγάτε το kομμάτι σας είναι το kυνήγι, οπότε πηγαίνετε στο kυνήγι kαι σταματάτε να φωνάζετε

>Of course I have a soul, I am regent of God on earth
Suuuuuuuuuuure you are. And I'm sure that turning people into stone soldiers stripped of their minds and wills is all according to "Gods Will" as well, then?

ναι είναι σύμφωνα με τη βούληση του. Ειλιkρινά ο θεός δεν είναι πραγματιkά kαλό πρόσωπο.

>yes it is according to his will. God is not really a good person.
Of course you would say that. Oliver Cromwell believed that he was doing "God's Work" and he murdered countless Christians in his latest assault upon London *alone*, not even including the other attempts he tried in destroying Europe or murdering the Queen. Then add in him slowly but surely transforming into some manner of eldritch horror, and you can kindly forgive me if I don't believe you when you say that this is all according to "His Will".

έχετε μια kαλύτερη ιδέα για το πώς είμαι αkόμα ζωντανός, ενώ παράλληλα είναι kατασkευασμένος από μάρμαρο kαι εξαkολουθεί να έχει όλες μου τις αναμνήσεις kαι όμως ξέρω πώς να σας μιλήσω χρησιμοποιώντας αυτό το kιβώτιο kεραυνού; για να μην αναφέρω ότι μπορώ να μετατρέψω τους ανθρώπους σε πιστούς συμπατριώτες που είναι επίσης kατασkευασμένοι από μάρμαρο.

looking back on it sacking London and trying to kill the Queen was a bit excessive. But I am not a eldritch horror and I stand by murdering the Irish!

>Giant Ant Lions
Yeah, that shit's nasty. But lemme tell you about the fucking moon.
"It's just an airless rock" is a blatant fucking lie. There's an entire goddamned society there, complete with oceans, cities, and gardens full of peach trees. The airless rock is a false projection that the residents have set up to fuck with Earth.
The residents are complete fucking pricks. Picture your average Fae Court member, now turn their dickish holier-than-thou attitude up to eleven, and give them a "muh purity" belief that would make zombie werewolf Hitler blush with envy. Like, they're legit permatriggered that we landed on the FAKE part of the moon, and blew the lander up out of shame. Now make them immortal, and obscenely supernaturally powerful.
Massive. Fucking. Assholes.
Worst part is they don't actually do the fighting themselves. Nooo, they throw their expendable troops, which are essentially clone troops with rabbit ears and tails, at you en masse. And each moon rabbit is a walking artillery park.
Now stick yourself and fourty-nine other unlucky hunters in a privately funded rocket, land on that moon, and try to collect a set of dinner plates from one of their houses.
That was when I learned that you should definitely vet your doctor, lest your energy bullet-perforated kidney be replaced with a live gremlin.

>you have a better idea of how I'm alive while being marooned and gone to have all my memories and yet I know how to talk to you using this kiero? not to mention that I can turn people into faithful compatriots who are also marbled.
You can blame it on Hastur being an utter fuckhead who can't into multi-dimensional reboots. The Light likely had little to do with your revival whatsoever, and even if it did, it probably wouldn't condone you mind-wiping people.

δίkαιο σημείο. Λυπάμαι, αλλά ειλιkρινά δεν ξέρω πώς το kάνω αυτό πόσο μάλλον πώς να σταματήσω να το kάνω. Γιατί νομίζετε ότι έχω σταματήσει να kινείται;

I was wondering where the bunnies with lazer cannons came from, those things are some of the most dangerous things I've fought.

Fun little bit of trivia. Those fucking laser cannons are the moon-bitches' way of giving us a handicap.
If you see an "unarmed" moon bunny, you're a special kind of screwed, because they can "fire" literal curtains of energy projectiles by making finger guns.
Your best hope in that scenario is being the fastest one running away. Can't normally spend a paycheck from the grave, and when you can the reaper takes a 50% cut on your earnings anyway.

Do not worry friends. We have a means of dealing with the "Moon-People" problem. Just give us a few days.

I would, but the damn forest is still gone! I don't think walking on what looks like live circuitry hanging in the air is a healthy option, and because of the damn floating islands i can't exactly fly outta here either!

Hastur! The forest!

Dude, no. The only reason the team I was a part of managed to make plantetf-MOONfall, at all, was because we one, had the assistance of something that existed in these odd - tears? gaps? - in reality, and two, something or someone shut down their Anti-Air long enough for us to have a window to get in and out.

It's surprisingly easy to destroy a moon. I suspect they don't even plan on setting foot on the surface.

>Implying that we intend to make Moonfall in the first place.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah, now that's cute.

I wasn't stressing the whole moonfall bit, you dunce.
I was stressing the AA batteries that we knew they had.
I've also heard rumors of there being a goddess who can change the outcome of an event by talking about it. I think it was something along the lines of if she talks about an event coming to pass, it won't. So she just has to say "They'll destroy the moon" and bam, moon doesn't get destroyed.
Moon bitches are complete bullshit, just to reiterate.

Oh hello you weird demon-hunting bucko's! Greetings from the dimension where World War 1 never ended and everything's all fantasy and shit. Hows that internet thing work for you guys? We can't figure it out.

Whats the best way to persuade an Elf to start using a gun instead of a bow? I tried enchanting the rifle to make it silent but she still complains about the smell of the gunpowder.

>Whats the best way to persuade an Elf to start using a gun instead of a bow?
Don't give them a 'normal' gun for starters. You should give them something like pic related for instance. Much easier for them to use, and less of an irritant to overly-sensitive Elves.

Enchant it so it either doesn't require a powder propellant, or doesn't produce any odor.
Or upgrade it to fire magic bullets, darts, or beams using the latent magical energy of the wielder to generate ammunition.

Good call.

Hey guys, I have a quick test for you.

Let's say, hypothetically of corse, that one morning you wake up, take a shower, get dressed, cook up some breakfast, and right as you're stepping up to your front door you happen to notice that your house is completely surrounded by small black lambs. Just kind of all staring in your direction. Not actually looking at you or anything, just sort of blankly pointed in the direction of your house. Motionless as statues.

Now let's say this happened three days ago and you haven't left your house since and you're starting to get hungry. And to top it off just as you're considering passing the lamb circle- you notice that the one that was standing next to the mailbox is, like, three degrees to the right of where you think it was yesterday. Slight enough you'd never tell without noticing it's tiny goat hoof pressed up against a rock it hadn't been pressed up against before and there are no signs of movement, no sounds, no bent grass, fucking nothing but I swear to god they've just rotated clockwise slightly.

Hypothetically let's say that actually happened not that it would. How might you handle that situation.

Walk through anyway. They're looking at the house, not me.
Maybe pack some light armaments just in case

Nuke the house and everything else from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Besides, we have rserves.

But then its not a gun! Then its just some magical McGuffin!

Maybe I'll just get her a bowgun...er...crossbow..

Is...that gun alive? We don't have any of those, thankfully. Don't let those Austrians find out what that is though, I don't fancy getting shot at with a worm, by a worm.

Message from Ural Mountains - the undead Reds and Whites are rising again, but this time, they got artillery AND motherfucking WWII tanks and aviation, somehow.
The battles goes on far from any cities, thankfully, but noise they make is more than enough to draw attention of norms. What do?

Considering that Charlemagne barborosa king Arthur and the marble emperor are back. I'd find your Russian equivalent and make it his problem

Urgently suggest you secure any reservist equipment depots, military bases and Strategic Rocket Force installations in the area.
If you have trustworthy high ranking contacts in regional military, get them to pull snap inspections of security arrangements, and beef up the guard forces on them.
The last thing you need is them getting hold of modern equipment or, gods forbid, nuclear armaments!

Which one? Reds doesn’t listen Tzars, White will not listen Lenin, and warlords of ancient times too busy fighting demons and drinking.
Will do. Still trying figure out WHY and HOW they got here anyway - there wasn’t that much Red and White battles around here anyway.
...I wanna ask something - is Confederates and Union troops are fighting?

Why not both? Get Lenin to talk the reds down and the tzars can deal with the whites.
As for union and confederates they started to but George Washington made them stop

>If I say "I HATE THIS THREAD!!" enough times, maybe they'll go away
That's literally how post-moot Veeky Forums works.

>It happened with /wst/ and quests.
And Mage Guild, and Galactic Federation, and Field Kit Inspection, and evo threads.

I think the only reason CYOAs are still allowed on this board is because our mod makes exceptions to his rules for the things he likes.

Wait, THAT'S the reason I'm not seeing Mages Guild anymore? FUCK.

>Wait, THAT'S the reason I'm not seeing Mages Guild anymore? FUCK.

Yeah, it's considered a quest thread now, despite not fulfilling any of the criteria that the sticky on /qst/ defines a quest thread as.

>Veeky Forums's mod is a CYOAfag
And suddenly, everything makes sense.
Fuck!

>As for union and confederates they started to but George Washington made them stop
This... in a world gone completely mad, makes a lot of sense. I mean, Yankee or Southerner, everyone respects George Washington.

Thankfully he got to them before Andrew 'Old Hickory' Jackson did, otherwise things would've been a lot... messier.

Side note: Do we know what's going on in Egypt lately?

I know we've got some poor sod with a sphinx in heat Just go for it pal. After all, a cat is fine too!, but last I heard ALL of the Pharaohs had come back to life and were fighting each other to decide who was the 'true' Pharaoh... or they were fighting over Bastet. One of those things.

>Is...that gun alive?
Indeed it is. In fact, that entire dimension is "alive" to some degree.

Last i heard (and this is second hand from my daughter's ghost buddy, so take with a grain of salt) some pharaoh, i think it was Ramses 2nd, ended up trying to summon some sort of golem to beat the lot down.
There's only a fraction left, each of which has written Egypt off as a lost cause after said golems ate the majority of the others.