The evil wizard king grows bored with his omnipotence and spends his days inventing useless spells like Power Word: Fat

>The evil wizard king grows bored with his omnipotence and spends his days inventing useless spells like Power Word: Fat
What happens to the kingdom?

America

it gets fat.

are you trying to magical realm us OP?

There's an economic upsurge as the concepts of fad diets, fitness regimes, and weight loss suppliments suddenly become both relevent and big business.
This in turn increases the tax revenue, encouraging the evil wizard to experiment with appearance and skin quality effecting curses, so as to kickstart a cosmetics industry...

>Power word: fat
>Animate furniture or tableware
>Transmute dirt to mud
>Growth of body hair
>Charm hamster

Why would that spell need to be a Power Word spell?

I CAST MASS DELITIZE

...but you could just Chain Metamagic on the cantrip.

I know what that's from, but what word is that a typo of? Delighted?

>Accidentally creates Ireball
>Everyone is fucking pissed

>Kobold's Strength
>Self Slow
>Protection from Protection spells
>False Seeing (Beer Goggles)
>Invisible Suicidal Servant
>Mundane Sight
>Magic Millbug

>Finger of Deaf
>Undetect Magic
>See Invincibility
>Wall of Stoners
>Lime Stop
>Phantasmal Tiller

And thus Ireland was made

>Dodo's Wisdom
>Pit Bull's Grace
>Cat's Endurance
>Mole Rat's Splendor

>Find Unfamiliar (Normal Animal)

>Alter Elf
>Dancing Frights
>Ray of Floss
>Counterseplling
>Dongstrider

>Haybaleful Polymorph
>Bigby's Ass Slapper
>Telephony
>Waterwalking (the other surface version)
>Weatherfall
>Defect Evil
>Detect Nevil
>Smite Vermin
>Invisible Serpent
>Invisible Maid
>Invisible French Maid
>Invisible Sultry French Maid
>Detect Visible

>Invisible Sultry French Maid

Oi! yu dennay' wot'cher ramblin on about lad. The Celts ar' ta ones blessed by ta gift o gab.

>Metamagic: Extended Dong
>Metamagic: Empowered Women
>Metamagic: Distill Spell

A new glorious era is ushered in upon the perfection of Cast: Thicc Butt

>Power Word: THICC
>Power Word: EXTRA THICC

I don't know whether to be sad or horrified to know that I have D&D books for just such a thing.

The ancient Druid, known only as the natural king, returns to stop him.

>Ritual of Extra Toppings
>Turn Peasants
>Summon Lesser Cured Meats
>Power Word: Jerky
>Detect Detection
>Detect Underwear
>Detect Pregnancy
>Detect Irony
>Mordenkainen's Useless Box of Trinkets
>Fish

>Fish
W-what does this one do? Apparate a fish into existence? Find something you need by plucking it with a hook, line and sinker? Summon a Ghoti??

It fishes.

>Mordenkainen's Mediocre Manor
>Rebuke Waiter
>Summon Plantar Wart
>Summon Plantar Wart , Greater
>Meatier Swarm
>Permanent Disillusion
>Cheddarskin
>Baleful Polymorph Self
>Stone Fall

No one fucks with wizards.

No one fucks with crazy.

And absolutely no one fucks with crazy wizards.

>wush

>command Ed
>Aleful Polly
>protection from Evan
>GoodJerry
>Ade Barrier

For some reason I imagine Evan is an unkillable annoying fanboy

>Charm Self
>Burning Feet
>Power Word: Fuck

>Good Jerry

[seinfeld intensifies]

>Power Word: Fuck
W-what exactly does this entail happening?
Does this mean that whatever I use the spell at, they'll start fucking? Even inanimate objects? Even if it's abstract concepts?
I think I need an adult.

It comes in variations. The literal fucking is there too
Power Word:
>Go FUCK yourself
>Get the FUCK OUT
>Don't give a FUCK
>FUCK that
>FUCK me/your/baka/smb

>Call lighting
>Cone of old (or One of cold)
>Fire all

>Can Trip
>Can't Rip
>Con Trip
>Lent Image
>Prismatic Mall
>Invisible Ant
>Melf's Minute Meat

The process of refining high fructose sugar from corn syrup is perfected and merchant guilds begin putting it in nearly every food product they can. Due to sugar and sweetened foods being expensive before this discovery, the peasantry show no restraint and the kingdom faces an obesity epidemic.

>lesser bump

>detect corgi

>inflict salt

>Detect Visible Light
>Fragment Sentence
>Summon Self
>Split Infinitive

...

pair it with Power Word: Skinny and you can save on heating in the winter and cooling in the summer

Summon Slinky Swarm

>Sense Self Motive
I actually want that one. can i get an enchanted item that provides it at will?

>Summon Sunglasses.

Nympomania?
Book of unlawful carnal knowledge?
Book of erotic fantasy?

>nymphology
Dang autocorrect

This is why D&D settings are full of ruined kingdoms and fallen civilizations.

love you Veeky Forums.

Hopefully the FCC trying to kill net neutrality doesn't go though or this place will get censored out of existence for burgers.

Nobody is going to censor Veeky Forums, and NN doesn’t protect anything from censorship.

Yeah but the speed might be throttled do much it kills the site.

yeah loading text and images is not near streaming there wont be an affect sry.

I doubt that thing will pass. Even if it does there will be such massive backlash it will probably be flipped back off almost right away. If theres one thing people are protective of in this day and age is their fucking internet.

>counterseplling

i died.
underrated post.

Is the invisible servant supposed to kill itself and stink up a room and you can’t find it?

>Summon Bigger Fish
>Detect Janitor
>Activate Almonds
>Turn Dead
>Find Mead
>Dust to Spiders
>Planar Mortal
>Bestow Nurse

>Hear future

>Otto's Easily Resistable Dance
>Tasha's Delightful Laughter
>Wishful Thoughts
>Turtle's Speed
>Ray of Mayo
>Scorching Rei
>Wall of bard
>Imploding Runes
>Colorsprinkle
>Stone to Slightly Different Stone
>Identify Wood

> Charm cactus
> Chain smoking
> Grant fish
> Create dead
> Wall of Farce

Wouldn't it be some kind of variation of clairvoyance?

>Summon Summoner
>Conjur Conjurer
>Alter Alteration
>Evoke Evocation
>Bigsby's Buttscratcher

>Create Water by causing the nearest raincloud to begin making it's way to you
>Summon Monster -I
>Hide from Blind
>Find Trap

>>Summon Summoner
Summons 1d6 summoners, each of them knowing the same summoner spells as the caster. Good for creating self-sustaining evergrowing crowds of summoned people.

A lot of those could actually come in handy

Who knows what Stone to Stone could do to someone's foundation. Think of the leaks!

>>Hide from Blind
Being inaudible, unsmellable and intangible seems fairly useful to me.

>Cure Ass Wounds
Well unfortunately ass-kicking becomes more socially acceptable due to ease of medical care, but on a brighter note Veeky Forums gets shut down due to inactivity.

>Mordenkainen's Shady Shack
>Mordenkainen's Wet Cardboard box
>Mordenkainen's Crack House
>Mordenkainen's Opium Den
>Mordenkainen's Cocaine Palace
>Mordenkainen's Rehab Camp

It's not a typo at all, it's just deli-itize. To make something into deli products.

Panem et circenses. Even the worst of the romans knew better than that.

...all this time I though they were getting tied up with rope. I would have preferred to not have learned that.

>alter elf
I like this spell

>Mordenkainen's House With No Doors or Windows

>Power Word: Fat
Hi Abbaddon

>Activate Almonds

>Conjure nothing
>Detect toenails
>Invisibility when not seen by anything or anyone, including yourself.
>Summon Richard
>Create olive oil
>Remove molecule
>Instakill (Only works on non-living)
>Summon 300000 Vietnamese Dong (13 USD), one time use.
>Power word: h
>Lose currency
>Conjure invisible non-tangible blob of mud

>Animate onahole

>Tenser's Floating Duck
>Tenser's Farting Disk

Phantasmal Tiller Might actually be useful

>Prestidigitation: CSI YEEEAH
When asked about what a CSI is, the wizard declined to comment.

>Spill Chocolate Milk

>Peterfication
>Thunderfap
>Healing Sword
>Create/Destroy Waiter
>Tenser's Floating Dick
>Modify Mammery
>Giant Incest
>Frog Cloud
>Mage Foot
>Fine Familiar
>Zone of Tan

I just hope that if it does pass it gets repealed without too many congressmen getting lynched.

>>Spill Chocolate Milk

>Build the Wall
>Drain the Swamp
>Repeal and Replace

>Table enchanted with Spill Chocolate Milk

>Summon Folding Chair

>Tenser's Vinyl Disc
>Tenser's Laser Disc
>Tenser's Compact Disc
>Tenser's Visual Compact Disc
>Tenser's Digital Visual Disc

>Drain the Swamp
Also known as
>Summon Irate Ogre

Don't worry man, I cast
>Summon Squeegee Golem
>Ray of Stain Removal
>Invisible Janitor

Create or Destroy marinara

>Transmute dirt to mud

"You literally just re-worded a spell of create water you immense turd!"

>Misalign Tile

also known as:
>Agitate OCD

pair it with
>Inflict OCD
beforehand and it'll be a gold mine of laughs.

>Auntie's Magic Field
>Cloudsave
>Bone of Bold
>Eat Metal
>Nice Storm

>Force Meme

How does a wizard actually invent a new spell, anyway? What does he have to do after he decides on what he wants the spell to do in order to create it?

>Breathe Dirt
>Enlarge Dust
>Force Cook

>Summon Eldritch Cook
"Gersh gurndy morn-dee burn-dee, burn-dee, flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip, bork bork bork!"

>Tightening Bolt
>Leatherfall
>Magic Muscle
>Claire Vision (shows nearest Claire and surroundings)
>Claire Audience (forces victims to journey to nearest Claire and request entertainment)

>Find Traps