ITT: Events to put in a small, generic D&D town, to have utter lvl 1 noobs understand, how the world works

>psssh...you wouldn't understand, kid

There is a dungeon in the basement of the bakery. Baker sends you down to kill rats. After solving several puzzles and surviving a swinging blade pendulum trap, you discover the rats were being controlled by a gelatinous cube bandit.

Good post. I actually hate how widespread traps in the dungeons are. I mean, yeah, pharaohs put them into their tombs, but they are really an oddity. Why does a viking gravesite have mechanically complicated deathtraps involving throwing darts, poison and a swinging guillioutine in it?

> Why does a viking gravesite
Because they're not fucking vikings. They're people who live in a fantasy world with fantasy concerns who superficially resemble vikings.

You'd want shit like that installed in your gravesides too if an undefended graveside means a man with a crowbar and a book can go in and make an army out of your dead grandma's.

OP here.

Would appreciate some more, no problem. I already made a list.

In return, another lizardman.

in real-life, traps are very rare, but then D&D isn't much like real life. AFAIK, even in the military, we don't really use traps except mines and tripwire bombs, and then there is booby traps like the viet cong did, but then we don't really have dungeons either except military bunkers (who knows what defenses military bunkers have).

But in D&D, because of flying creatures, large creatures, and magic, you typically want your castles and maybe even towns to be underground. When underground, you can only field so many people against your enemies, because of the tighter quarters, and traps let add to your action economy. They can also get rid of people without you even being present or aware of the people.

There's no real reason to have tombs of dead people full of valuables in a D&D world, so I pretty much never do that. But to take your example, the viking gravesite wouldn't have mechanical traps at all, most likely. Instead, they'd have a magical trap put down by a shaman, like glyph of warding or something.

Traps are super deadly when combined with something else, but on their own they will usually only injure people.

>This is not how FR modules go, and this is not how FR games go, and you know it.

Neither are FR Modules about some important NPC showing up and slapping the PCs in the face with their dick and you know it.
Many of those NPCs show up in the FR novels, they are nods to that s Quest-giver for the Player-Characters to feel more important. Only a truly autistic person would get mad that there are other heroes in the game beside themselves.

Awful post. I actually hate how people with opinions like yours are becoming more and more common on Veeky Forums and trying to pose as the Funpolice.

>why do people criticize me when I dress my busty female knightly order in French maid outfits
>let me magical realm in peace you darn funpolice it’s FANTASY not real life

>something as tame as maid outfits are "magical realm" now

Good work proving his point.

Prevent the necromancers from gettin' ya of course.
Would YOU want Y'shtor the Giant to come back as a skeleton king beholden to dark magicks?

>A band of children steal your spellbook and set a house on fire.
>A wizard comes into the tavern and needs a cleaning crew with fighting experience for his lab.
>A party member looks like a famous pedomancer and the townsfolk want him dead.

What does a pedomancer do? Can make your step longer or shorter?

The art of pedomancy is like chronomancy but for children.

>maid outfits arn't magical realm
user..

A chronomancer specialized in reversing time.

Okay, so it's a child who can go back in time. But what does it have to do with steps?

Wouldn't that be a recnamonorhc?

>he doesn't dress his busty female knights in French maid outfits

what a pleb

>Kid has been disappearing into yonder woods
>Druids are getting blamed and fucked up by angry mobs
>Investigation reveals the children being kept comatose by a spirit in a tree
>Will release hold of kids if adventurers assist it in a ritual that frees the spirit

they do and the kids are released, spirit returns later as high level boss

They don't and the kids fookin die, maybe they kill the spirit right there as it's trapped in the tree (stab it's tree heart or whatever),

No, no, no. It is a wizard that specializes in reversing time. A pedomancer! A recnamonorhc is a filthy perv with a foot fetish and some cantrips.

>I am too fucking retarded for nuances and because I am an SJW I can only see extremes

Yup, totally as bad as magical Piss Forest and being coerced to Piss into someone's mouth. Do the world a favour and never procreate, your child might inherit some of your particular brand of idiocy.

Why would I be in awe of the play testers old characters again?

>Why would I like the heroes of old to show up in my game
>If I do not like it, why would anyone else like it
>Its all about ME ME ME ME ME!

Entitlement is one hell of a drug.

Dogs attack a mans sheep despite a big fence. They are actually blink dogs.

...

Assuming that we should treat characters like Elminster with the same reverence as you might Gandalf, what benefit is there in them giving you a quest to slay Dark Lord Dickhat? Or more likely, 5 rats.

Premade modules that jerk off old DMPCs are garbage.

Not an argument.

Your face is not an argument.

Would a gelatinous cube bandit be a gelatinous cube that commits burglary, or a human burglar who specializes in stealing gelatinous cubes?

>villagers are unfriendly
>people acting weirder and weirder the longer your party stays in the village
>notice that the village's children are nowhere to be seen
>see a woman screaming at the top of her lungs after they stay the night that one of her children vanished the night before
>group wants to know what is going on and wants to help
>makeup your own monster or reason why the children are disappearing