Post any amusing ideas you may or may not have had or encountered in your career as a tabletop roleplayer.
>A bard who's cursed to only be able to play songs that involve the audience's mother
>A barbarian that would LOVE to go berserk but just can't bring himself to it
>A paladin who's actually a really terrible and selfish person but his multiple Get-rich-quick schemes and other various scams ends up backfiring so badly he ends up canonized
Pic unrelated (or is it?)
I've never played any of the smaller races like halflings or even dwarves because I don't like the idea of playing a fucking midget. It doesn't feel like it fits the epic high adventure format inb4 Tolkien drones, it only worked for Tolkien because of the theme of the small and weak being pure of heart and shiet.
As such, what I want to try at least once is play a lighthearted game and then roll a halfling barbarian. I want to beef the absolute shit out of his strength score and make him a gore machine that also happens to be incredibly sensitive about his weight. Don't you dare call him short or he'll sock you in the nose after literally cutting you down to size.
Or maybe a halfling rogue who goes by the street name "Honey Badger". As you may have guessed, his "sneak attack" is stabbing tallfolk in the genitals. Again, something that would only work for a lighthearted comedy based game.
>incredibly sensitive about his weight
*height, obviously. Though that little slip of the fingers makes me wonder whether he'd work as a fatty. A "big boned" halfling barbarian beefcake?
I've really wanted to play a character with a cursed sword. But the twist is that I'd be playing the sword using any disposable meat ah that picks it up. Keeping the same mental stats every time I die and refilling physical to represent the new wielder who's taken it up and become its slave.
Why not go full Napoleon? Motherfucker was epic all right.
>Why not go full Napoleon?
Because he was taller than average for his time.
So?
Barbarian/Bard who uses a piano instead of a lute or a fiddle. Most of his performances are just smashing his foe with the piano.
A jester that literally uses yoyos to fight
And those yoyos have spikes on them
[s]HEY WELCOME BACK GUYS TO THE YO-FLAIL PLAYTHROUGH[/s]
Fucked up the spoiler oops
A character with a cursed sword. Only the wielder is a total asshole. The sword is also an asshole, but it only gets enjoyment out of causing the wielder problems. So it ends up a hero.
This NPC came from a campaign. An undead commander who in life, was obsessed with running a tight, clean unit. He has been walking up and down the ranks of a stinking zombie hoard in the middle of the field, demanding they all have pristine uniforms, posture and silence. He will spend eternity putting guts back in place and most of his armies arms have fallen off from pushups.
A mermaid Monk.
...
Ancient lonely lich with 7 souls trapped in his body which causes a personality change based on the day. Causes him go from hating to loving the other members of the party depending on which personality is in charge. Has frequent arguments with himself on what to do with the other party members.
In b4 teehee macaroni
A magician whose favorite spell is a teleportation-via-shoes magic.
I've always really wanted to make a Rogue pretending to be a Paladin. With the DM's agreement, we make all their paladin powers work via stolen magic items, sleight of hand trickery, and other misdirections to make it seem like the group has a true and upstanding paladin of light and justice, when it is in fact a terrified con artist who got in way over his head and doesn't have the lack of conscience to back out now. It even gives a good place to go character-wise for their growth, as it can be about them learning that even though they've been faking being good, they're still doing good things, and that the persona they've been putting on isn't entirely a false one.
A lot of this is for the idea of a paladin surreptitiously doing rogue stuff behind the scenes, like leaving his armor propped up to look like he's standing guard for the party, and then going off and getting information from unsavory sources, or surreptitiously poisoning the corrupt magister they talked to earlier. That and Smite Evil always seeming to happen out of nowhere, and always aimed at the target's back.
A sapient dildo paladin who sodomizes evildoers.
A guy who was once the guy who bongs the drums for oar-rowing slaves. He thought his drums were magic. He thought he was really important. Now stranded on an island, he realizes his drums have no magic and that he too was a slave. The other ship people never hung out with him.
He now wanders the island playing newly fashioned coconut bongos to whatever wildlife that will listen.
Trump-inspired bard who casts spells by saying inane shit.
"I cast the best spells, the best!"
Hi! Time traveller from 2007 here!
Lol that's hilarious but... why do so many people get offended at these kinds of jokes now?
Did a whole bunch of reality TV stars get murdered?
kinda had a similar idea
his name is Jekster the juggling bandit
he juggles enchanted swords while trying to rob/kill you
I always wanted to play a druid where the “humanoid” form is just another wild shape and it really is just a magic dog or something.
Also actual party animal druid who doesn’t give a damn about nature aside what can be boned or snorted.
Robotic cleric is always great.
Buff orc bard acts like a CEO
A dwarf with gigantism.
Rogue who steathily puts things IN people’s pockets.
Demented stormtrooper who confuses technology with being able to use the force. (Think automatic doors)
Rapper/Pop-star wizard or soceror, because people should really use somantics and verbal cues more.
Play an anti-paladin mook who is convinced one of the party members is “The Dark Lord”.
A level 20 undead commoner
PCs
>Old Lady witch who makes magic/poison candy and beats people with a rolling pin
>rogue halfling with a jester/circus performance background who never takes off his stilts
>old man fighter with a huge club that's size and weight is actually inhibiting his fighting ability and causing his back pain
>a warlock who constantly asks their pact entity what they should do
ctrl+s
>That pasta was pretty weak, desu.
legit didn't know that was a pasta. I just thought the idea was cool and I like playing sneaky types.
...
But he also had a tiny dick.
Imagine being so butthurt you examine a dead guys dick 200 years post facto