Real-world items that look like they belong in a wizard's tower/store catering to high level PCs

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>It makes a huge boom sound and hurts enemies from far away, it must be magic

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>People say Ancient Africa was Primitive
>It was actually Anime as fuck.

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I am unspeakably salty that I cannot buy this for my girlfriend.

I'm unspeakably salty that I can't buy it for myself.

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That one user's ass.

This +2 Warhammer of Impact was crafted by the Skald Aelfraed the Ironsinger by cutting the hands of his heretic brother off and casting an iron mold from them.

This Power Stone is made from the skull of a Wilder attempting to manifest Recall Death. A mishap with the power caused him to manifest it on himself, resulting in the visible head wound. As his brains spewed out under intense psionic pressure, the sheer amount of temporal energy backwashed into the wound, causing instant fossilization. His opponent kept the head, using it as a Power Stone to contain Recall Death, simply for the sake of poor taste.

The Cult of Corto Magnus crafted four Lyres of the Goat, sacrificing four goats suckled on blood and four sacred virgins of Androgyne to serve as raw materials. Lyres of the Goat can be used to summon and command spirits of darkness with sufficient musical skill, making them prized by witches of the Black Night order. However, the remaining Cultists of Corto Mangus still seek to regain their lost treasures and use their powers to bring about an endless night.

This Manta Charm is nailed up outside a shack by the fisher inside for good luck on his next trip. Manta Charms are offerings to the spirits of the sky, intended to grant favorable wind and clear skies for navigation, though over the years the specifics of the charm have been lost on the working classes.

Steel Orbs of Lindor are weapons forged in the planes of stone, where heat and pressure turns the iron to steel right in the ground. Steel Orbs are forged by a magical process, then used in cannons to bring down city walls and decimate armies, each containing explosive capacity unknown to charcoal and saltpeter.

An elegant and decorative dorje created for the Princess Illyana by her dreadful uncle the Mastermind. Little did he know how powerfully the gift of the mind would grow in his young niece, soon to be known as Thrallmind.

More high (fantasy) fashion.

That was so cool looking I had to find out more. It's a 16th century prosthetic hand. atlasobscura.com/articles/object-of-intrigue-the-prosthetic-iron-hand-of-a-16thcentury-knight

Green cup that glows red when lit from behind.

I think I get this reference

This Earth Charm gives its wearer greater control over the magic of stone and metal. The creator's identity is lost to the ages, and the true scope of its power likewise unknown, but when used to command or build sentries and soldiers of stone and steel, the gem glows brighter than any torch.

A charm of Persephone, held as holy by her priestesses. It can be used to determine the exact time of year, but more importantly gives her brightest followers the ability to control the very seasons themselves, submerging a city in an endless winter or eternal september as desired.

This was part of an Orrery of the Planes before the Great Sundering tore the multiverse apart. Waves of symmetrical energy shattered the remaining parts of the Orrery, leaving only the model representing the Prime Material. The only use it has now is to perfect teleportation within the Prime Material plane, allowing a powerful mage to calculate not only their position but their inertia as well. In other words, teleportation from and to moving objects all around the world.

After the Handy Homeowner burned down in '92, the only things found still intact were a few of the larger, more sturdy appliances and a single roll of duct tape, still in the packaging on a completely melted shelf. Its ability to mend is seemingly supernatural, and as a handy side effect is both waterproof and fireproof.

The Soul Flask was made by a necromancer for the purposes of keeping unruly ghosts and avenging spirits under control. Before or at the moment of death, he opened the flask under the mouths of his victims, sucking their souls into the flask and allowing him to do whatever he wished with their corpse without concern for hauntings or reprisal from their deities. Unfortunately, it didn't protect him from vengeful family members.

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So that counts as an unarmed attack, right'? :)

yeah, but can it play jethro tull?

The millenia have not been kind to this Idol of Risus. The only magic it has left is the light it shares with the world.

The Lamp of the Boar contains a Boar Spirit within it (not literally the ghost of a pig). Filling and lighting it summons the Spirit to serve as a guide or a warrior. This particular Lamp of the Boar was made by Boar Cultists about a thousand years ago.

The Keys of Piscene were crafted by Sahuagin to allow them entry for their nefarious porpoises. The fanciful fish carabiner was added later by a fisherman who found the keys in the wreck of a Titan Warship, left by the Sahuagin pirates who plundered and destroyed it.

This Lamp of the Golden Swan is millennia old. Filling and lighting it summons a Swan Spirit (see above regarding Boar Spirit) which can carry up to two medium creatures on its back. This particular Lamp was made by a Priest of Evander, inspired by the store of Evander's kidnapping and sodomy of two youths while in the form of a swan.

WOW! THIS LAMP OF PHALLUS #1!!!! CLICK TO MAIL ORDER! DISCRETE PACKAGING! GUARANTEED MALE FERTILITY ENHANCEMENT WHEN LIT!!!!

Left to right: Cure Moderate Wounds, Cat's Grace, Barkskin, Haste.

Narcissum and Apollum, a longsword and dagger made for Iblis Candor, Blade of Kelal and Champion of the Faith. The holy sword and axiomatic dagger were intended to serve as his weapons in the crusade against the Fibria Hordes, but upon drawing both blades he was immediately struck dead by their intense power, revealing him to have been a devious charlatan all along.

Even the shells of dragon eggs still hold immense power. This White Dragon shell contains a primal power, granting a mage using it improved control over ice magic.

In the museum case you find a sword singing softly to itself. The gems on the scabbard contain spells that suppress its bubbly, excitable nature, and it begs to not be sheathed.

Stop. No one likes it when people do this.

Is this loss?

Yeah, that's probably right.

Fuck yea-

Dammit, I was enjoying this, you prick!

dragon vagina

yeah i bet you were enjoying posting it

I don't enjoy this but it's easy to ignore, let it be

Maybe I'm weak of heart but this kind of shit kills the thread for me.

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fucking hell. I guess I am the only person who enjoys the writefaggotry.

fuck it, I guess there's still images to post. Unfortunately I deleted several in a bout of stupid.

Don't speak for me, I like it.

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>No one likes it when people do this.
I do!

KEEP DOING THE THINGS

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shiny

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nah, I got steam vidya to install, and present a strong enough case for me.

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And there it is Veeky Forums kills creativity from others once again because anything not lifted out of an existing work of fiction of straight from the source book is nothing more than autism.

Fuck you very much, Veeky Forums.

nah, I'm just not that creative.

so I like to see other people have ideas so I can steal those if I want to use them.

"Small and shriveled, you need to peer closely to make out what this is. It looks very disappointing, but surely it must have some to be on the shelf.
You cannot determine what that use would be."

I understand the decorative flowers, but what's the significance of 52?

The Gilded Edge
>A misleading name, as despite the highly decorated sheath and grip, the blade itself is quite functional. The sword was gift presented by king Alistair to his beloved seventh nephew, Conner, who saw no place in the royal court and opted to travel the world. The blade is in pristine condition despite a lack of enchantments, but no one knows what became of it's original wielder.

The Spring's Verdance
>This pendant was said to be gifted to to the druid Nellam by his dryad lover. When worn, all living plant life ten meters around the wearer become resistant to fire, meanwhile, all plant life becomes safe and nutritious to eat for the wearer.

The Iron Hand
>Not at all a magical artifact but quite the subject of interest among scholars of arcane and mundane arts alike regardless. The Iron Hand was one of the rewards gifted to the famed Royal Guard captain by his king after organizing a successful defense against a hobgoblin invasion. The prosthetic hand is capable of holding a quill without breaking it, gripping a sword firmly to avoid being easily disarmed, and the captain's wife was rumored to have enjoyed the iron hand more than his flesh one. There is also a button for 'quick deploy' of the middle finger for taunting enemies.

The Glass Completely Full
>This enchanted glass of water is always filled with clean drinking water no matter how much is drunk from it. Made by the Sorcerer Gallan 'The Optimist' after an intense argument with Volen 'the Cynic'.

Kwalish Control Box
>This strange device was developed by a frustrated kobold known as "Tinker" after lucking upon an Apparatus of Kwalish and finding it's control scheme 'dumb'. With the control box, not only does the apparatus become much easier to opperate (still with practice) but can even be operated remotely up to a hundred meters.

The Rose Quartz of Life
"It doesn't really do anything magical.
I just bought it from an old adventuring companion of mine when they decided it was time to clear out some junk. It sure does add to the room though, doesn't it?"

The Cloud Blade
>despite it's weighty size, this blade is perfectly balanced and much lighter than it looks. not only that, but it allows it's wielder to easily fly through the air like a cloud on a breeze. Look down upon those swordsmen who are grounded or need flying beasts to touch the air and laugh!

Gold Powder
>This finely decorated flintlock rifle is the sum of a merchant prince's greed. Opponents killed by this gaudy gun are transmuted into a gold statue of themselves. Thankfully, the merchant Prince was a terrible shot, and ironically was killed by his own rifle once stripped from him.

The Dark Shroud
>Despite the ominous name, this ring actually makes you completely undetectable by all forms of undead, completely distorting their sense of perception. Even liches using the strongest scrying spells cannot even see you open a closed door in front of their faces and it will take them several moments to even realize from what directions they just got stabbed from.

The Crown of Geese
>Worn by a scornful queen, whenever anyone disagreed with her, the geese on her crown would come alive and attack the offender. The number of geese that come to life are determined by how big of an asshole you are.

This armor was once worn by a great knight called alphonse, it was constructed from the scraps of a powerful golem.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yasuke
Makes you wonder if there's something supernatural about the allure Japan has towards black people.

The Astral Gown
>Lovingly made for Queen Ametis of the First Empire, this gown is a window into the astral plane, allowing one to see the stellar beauty of the aethers. Sadly, retired because one too many astral-plane dwellers would stop to gaze out and make faces at the window into the material plane. (including an admittedly hilarious event where a Githyanki began 'tithumping' the queen)

The Testament of Akkad
>This humble clay tablet is written in the words of creation itself and was gifted to the first Emperor of the First Empire representing his divine right to rule over all the material plane and all who step onto it. If one can trace lineage to him, they can effectively make even arch-fiends and fey foolish enough to step into the Materium to kneel and turn the other way. Sadly, it doesn't work outside the material plane.

Kwakwaka'wakw Box
>A box carved by a native people for their sacred rights. It glows gold and the air around it feels warm. In the back of your mind, you have a feeling touching it without some express permission from... something would be dangerous for you.

The Canglong Stone
>The Bluegreen Dragon of the East is highly revered as a symbol of wisdom and protestion in far flung kingdoms east. It's said if you ask a question into the mouth of the geode and then put your ear you it, the dragon will give tell you either the wisest course of action or tell you a path to a safe place if you are in danger.

The Seraphim's Raiment
>A beautiful coat made from the feathers of the highest of Celestial beings short of the Gods, this light, warm, watershedding, and all around comfortable coat will protect the wearer from all forms of attack by any and all things evil, including protection from food poisoned by shifty advisors.

The Chalice of Jade Blood
>A relic of the vampire queen Potema, this chalice, when it's enchantment is activated, will draw blood from any or all living, sentient creatures in a ten kilometer radius that are not harmful for a vampire to consume. This allows the wielder to either draw inpeceptible amounts from thousands of people, or even focus on one creature, up turn the cup, and instantly exsaguinate them.

Rage Tear Salt
>The saltiest kind of salt. Useful for various potions, but most of all it can allow someone able to tolorate the sheer saltiness to fly into a berserker rage. Or boost the power of a berserker's normal rage into something that will clear a building.

"Unfortunately, it has the critical weakness of leaving the wearer utterly unable to see their own feet, or indeed their opponents. Thus, their footwork suffers."

youtube.com/watch?v=44Q58kWAsCo

Okay, that's genuinely creepy.

Wonder what would have happened if he had killed the old man?

That shit reminds of the Moiety Dagger from Riven.

Lots of people do you insufferable faggot

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ancient benis

>Ox Crown
The horns of this sword, made in the image of ox horns, greatly increases strength and endurance when worn or wielded. Even thought it is no longer than a dirk or long knife, the wielder of this weapon may split a mighty crocodile from gullet to groin with one blow.

Anime- and manga-style illustrations/designs tend to be minimalist, especially in terms of line-work.
This minimalist aesthetic is simple.
Primitives and savages are only capable of simple designs.
Therefore primitive design looks "anime".

>we wuz samurais n shiet

>literally a pet/curiosity with a toy sword who wasn't allowed to fight or even considered important enough to be killed with the rest of the underlings

Post something that looks good for a Paladin, something that looks sexy for a "not evil" thief, and something like a big magic looking staff for a magic user.

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Is time to stop /pol/sting user

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Wow, that's gorgeous. Even if my first thought was Banica Conchita...

Speak for yourself ingrate.

Reminds me of Baldurs Gate II’s item descriptions.

This is why the great content creators fucking left.

Fuck Veeky Forums