ITT: Moments when your character/player said "I immediately regret this decision."

ITT: Moments when your character/player said "I immediately regret this decision."

Bump

When pic related happened

Uh, you don't get to bring waifus.

>exhaustion 2 (drunk)
>enter bandit base to visit their boss
>with bandit who believes I'm one of them
>without party members

I regret nothing!

>curse of strahd
>Strahd appears
>think im hot shit
>try to intimidate him
>roll 20
>get giddy as fuck and go for it
>the dm looks at me
>looks at the book
>looks back at me
>"legendary resistance"
>strahd slaps the everloving fuck out of my character and does massive necrotic damage"

why do all my good rolls end it me getting fucked over

>party is trapped in a cavern
>exit protected by a titanic not!Shelob
>fighting it is100% useless
>not!Shelob requires a living sacrifice per person to let us out
>not!Shelob apparently can't tell the difference between living and undead
>cavern necromancer lends us some zombies to pretend sacrifice
>reach spider altar
>cleric starts "sacrificing" the zombies
>figures he should get further on its good side and so says
>"Oh great spider, we offer you this sacrifice of the undead"

>... bla, le encounter with scared little girl in the sewers, bla
>"I hug the child and tell her everything is fine"
>little girls joins the party

30 minutes later, after talking with more city people.
>DM did some rolling while talking for a while now, wondering what's up with that.

>...bla, "I want to ask the kid something about this event"
>DM: "The child is gone"
>fuck
>check pockets
>purse is missing
>bow is missing
>boots are missing

>boots are missing
how

...

...

kek

That's not my fault, it's my GM's magical realm ;_;

Was getting orc'd part of your plan?

>This artifact seals away Apothis right? I take my magic hammer and break it
>OHGODWHY.PNG
>Well it seals him right, if we break the key he cant get out!
>party wizard explains thats fucking wrong, it's like the trap from Ghostbusters, not the One Ring
>barbarian cant into abstraction
>breaks the one damn thing preventing Apothis from returning
>the world eater eats the world

>level 2
>get side quest while other 2 group members are off sick
>me and wizard go to explore ruined farm
>see big ass robot based off a bioshock big daddy
>wizard remembers he managed to take control of the animated armour earlier, and thinks he could do it on this
>what could go wrong?
>he rolls a 3, DM reveals that it was meant to be a homebrew superboss, and we just angered it.

Can't say no to big, green scary ladies. Especially not if they paid for a good time.

You and your DM are morons. 20s on skill checks mean nothing. NOTHING. He shouldn't have had to burn a LR, it literally could never work.

I CAN ONLY HOPE
He gets it, even if the picture is more of a green elf.

>Curse of Strahd
>investigating some spooky house for spooky kids
>party warlock checks a closet for things
>some odds and ends and a broom
>she goes in
>roll for initiative

It was no ordinary broom. It was Mickey's wizard broom freshly shot up with pcp and mad we opened its hallowed sanctum closet. It goes first, crits the warlock, and one shots her. Cleric tries to help drag her out and gets smacked on the knuckles for most of his health. Paladin tries to grab it and gets jabbed in the eye, and my Druid tries to unsuccessfully lasso it with Whip of Thorns. Fuck that broom. Fuck that house.

Half-elf half dryad.

In the setting I played in, elves could breed with every other species.

It's not an auto-success but it's still a high roll so it might have worked anyway...except Strahd is undead and therefore immune to fear, which includes Intimidation.

fucking hell. that made me smile