What would a necromancer put inside a castle he's taken over?

Nah, being on the lamm and stuck in dank lonely caves does wonders on a mans psyche.

That's where he stores his furry suits filled with hobo bones and his pictures of perfectly normal tiles.

Anyone got that stat sheet for, was it Death Knights? Forgotten Realms, where every full moon the death knight has to sing a song of his woes and misdeeds that caused him to be cursed to be a death knight?

An exceptionally complicated rube-goldberg esque alchemy set up, but that produces something incredibly mundane.

The very same stuff as anyone else, just more doom and gloom focused.

Probably wont stay long and they probably only took the castle for its guarded secrets of death magic then pack up and go hide. Undead monstrosities might be good on a offense but skeletons can't defend for shit.

The new center of government. But also THEY'RE INSIDE YOU RIGHT NOW

...

This is why paladin's come after you guys. Not the skeletons, not the rape of the natural order. This gross shit right here.

>Tiles

Take it to /d/ you pervs.

A shitton of skeletons?

Some nice furniture?

I imagine the same thing that every other person of significance would put inside a castle, just with more undead.

Skeletons can defend pretty fukken well, man. Especially if you have some intelligent undead distributed as nodes for patrols.

Just the fact that they don't need sleep and can't be distracted is a great thing. Then you also have to consider that you can arm them in freaky ways that you wouldn't be able to arm humans in, and you can go full osteoengineer and craft all sorts of stupid bullshit to defend your castle.

Skeletons with ten crossbows built into their ribcages. Skeletons with eight arms who act as an entire polearm formation by themselves. Skeletons with crocodile jaws for hands. Skeletons with expanded ribcages that act as launch platforms for skeleton pigeons full of alchemist's fire.

The possibilities are limitless.

Skeletons are dumb and just walk over the walls, destroying themselves with the fall. And inteligent undead are either moany emo's or dangereous backstabbers, most will flee or be useless.

All its former defenders.

Skeletons don't walk over the walls unless you tell them to walk over the walls. They have 10 wis, they can understand your instructions pretty well. 'Patrol from here, through this corridor, along this parapet, and then return here to check in before repeating'.

As to intelligent undead, you just have to make sure they don't have a reason or a means to backstab you. Keep them dominated, duh. Besides that, they're no more prone to backstabbing than a living person serving under you in your castle.

Well, that depends on why he took it over, doesn't it? Fortifying it with his minions and setting up a laboratory would be a good start.

>they can understand your instructions pretty well
They can only take two simple instructions.

They'd charge over the wall and DIE again.

Jesus, dude. Next you'll be fantasizing about romantic candlelit dinners amd non-sexual cuddling.

Give them a map and say 'Patrol along this route in a loop'.

Skeletons aren't retarded. 10 wis.

Scented candles. Gotta start early if you don’t want that rotting flesh smell to sink into the walls.

Too much work user.
Just make all your skellys have paper wasp nests in their chests. Dress 'em up nice, and let 'em walk the parapets like they're alive. In the dark you can hardly tell, and the folks trying to sneak in won't figure it out until too late.

Yes, I stole this technique from the Aztecs. (they didn't have skellys, just dummies filled with bee hives)

Anything worth doing is worth putting all your effort into.

An adventurer walks into your doom fortress and encounters a skeleton with a wasps nest jammed into it, he might think that's pretty cool and then die. He walks in and sees hours of painstaking bonecrafting and carving coming at him in the form of a customised skeleton with six arms, four legs and three skulls all chattering at a specific frequency designed to cause headaches, he's gonna be genuinely impressed and then die.

It's all about leaving an impression.

>What would a necromancer put inside a castle he's taken over?

Assuming he's there to get his work done in peace and plans to actually live and use it as his base of operations.
Immediate things he'll need to set up are normie things: bathroom, kitchen, dining room, bedroom, followed by standard necromancer such as his study/library, a basic laboratory, and a cold, dark, cellar to store bodies in. Once he's got settled in and has summoned a few more minions to take care of most of the grunt work, then I could see him expanding and making more specialized rooms to better suit his needs, such as: a greenhouse for growing herbal reagents, a dedicated cold morgue that isn't just a cellar, at least three different laboratories (one for magic, one for chemistry/alchemy, and one for 'medical' procedures), maybe a dormitory or cells to store/house his creations when not in use, and for that matter more 'comfortable' rooms for any guests he's hosting.
I think that would about cover all the basics he could provide by his own means, but if he had some outside help I think he could expand further and add the following rooms or features: a stable to keep and manage a small carriage and a few skeletal/zombie horses for transportation, a small blacksmith or workshop to keep his minions arms in top condition, and probably a few little hovels/cottages just inside the inner wall where he could keep some LIVING tenants/servants to work as gardeners, kitchen aids, since undead constructs would fucking RUIN either of those things and as a necromancer he still needs to eat...... And if he had the space and was PARTICULARLY charitable he could set up a lecture hall/auditorium for teaching others?

Keep in mind that it'd be months or maybe even a little over a year before even basic renovations were completed -provided he has a small host of undead constantly working at it- before his lair would look less like a 'spooky' drug den and more of an actual necromancer's castle.

New curtains

>Eternal undead organ player to fill the castle with the requisite dark organ music.
best idea in the thread so far
>set it up so he can spy on various parts of the castle and play the right dramatic flourish at the right time
>Organ music still emanates from the bowels of the castle after the Necromancer is dead
>the true moral dilemma is whether the party should do a thorough job and find and kill the undead minstrel, or leave him be to play his music in the ruined castle

Skeletons

Entry level parlor tricks.

A real necromancer would spend several weeks harvesting entrails from multiple species and people: humans, cattle, pigs, horses, etc, before taking them to his alchemical lab, placing them into a culture solution, and letting them undergo a regenerative and assimilative process so they'll become more uniform and begin to phuse loosely. He then properly molds his creation of flesh into the proper form, hooks it up to the largest heart he could possible put together, then seals it all in flesh, before finally feeding it quart after quart of blood.

When he's finally done: he now has a massive, writhing, LITERAL and FIGURATIVE organ that plays the most horrifying, sweaty, music possible. No skeletons necessary, and all it needs is 5 liters of blood to play music all day.

A beating draconic heart, to power his undead castle made of undead body-parts.

...

Stealing these ideas. Thanks guys.

what's the deal with tiles and sex on Veeky Forums?

1d4chan.org/wiki/Necroputer

Its a /v/ meme of a guy who had a fetish for floor tiles.

Bees. Lots and lots of bees. Just fucking hives full of angry ass bees in every corner of the castle.

Bee stings won't bother your skeletal minions, but they'll damn well hurt any living adventurers who decide to stick their noses in your business. Also, free honey.

>Bee stings won't bother your skeletal minions, but they'll damn well hurt any living adventurers who decide to stick their noses in your business. Also, free honey.

You can also just put the bee hives INSIDE the skeletons, like, just coerce the bees into building their hive in the rib cage of the skeleton.

The bees wouldn't be able to find their way from their hive to the flowers if the skeleton moved.

Bodies, Bones. He probably wants to resurrect and control undead wherever he is, in case of surprise attacks, assassins and stuff.

Otherwise whatever he needs to live. Necromancers may enjoy a comfy castle just as we do. Some potted plants, a carpet, a half finished IKEA shelf.

...

>not spending years prior planting the seeds of anger in once noble knights
>not making them kill a loved one in anger
>not enslaving an entire entourage of dark knights to do your bidding
>not duping idiots into turning themselves into liches to be the servants of the Dark Knights
cuck

...

prepare to be educated

>large meat locker for spare parts
>morgue/spa combo to prevent rot
>little heating and ice enchantments to preserve undead
>library full of forbidden lore and medical books
>dungeon used as pantry for fresh meat

Necromance

scrolls, books, and codices

Ditch those old bones and go with some fresher minions, then unleash the terror that is your army of zombees.

everything needed to do mass reanimation rites.
>gotta make me some more minions

as many tool AND weapon forges/shops as possible
>gotta have me some SHOVELS to dig up the dead people

suitable kennels for war-beasts

at least one defended farm to feed living troops

They get nightmares and backaches if they don't sleep in a place that resembles a mausoleum or graveyard as much as possible. So tombstones and coffins are a must.

I like the idea of a lazy necromancer with lots of space who used multiple rooms as laboratories until they were ruined one by one when something went wrong. He still hasn't cleaned up any of those rooms, nor has he locked any of them off because he's supposed to be the only one in the castle. The ceiling caved in one of them due to an explosion, the roasted remains of some test subjects are in another.

...

TAPESTRIES SON they warm a place, but they also really cut the damn echos

carpet and rugs also help

>skeleton pigeons full of alchemist's fire.
FANTASTIC
stealing this idea

>candle-lit
I have something even more degenerate, and I've even done this one before.
non-sexual cuddling, under a blanket, sitting beside the fire you cooked the romantic dinner over, under the stars, on a full moon night.

>not implanting sachets of potpourri and/or incense-censers in all of your undead minions
>not having the single most pleasantly scented armies in the world

hey man, it worked then it would probably work in that circumstance too.

>Anything worth doing is worth putting all your effort into.
not the best course of action, or you'll spend too much time bone crafting and not enough time doing mass-raises

thats assuming a functionally infinite timeframe

and you forgot defenses, passive(walls, traps, moats) and active(undead patrols, gore-crow scouts, reanimated ogre door-guardians) in a slowly increasing level of strength or effectiveness as he inhabits.

a policy of killing any possible witnesses and sending their corpses on a walk back home to finally rest on their doorsteps.

and of course any time-table is based around available starting bodies

speak with dead spell maybe?
simply ask the spirit?
advertise and charge admission?

honey has been used to preserve corpses in antiquity.
I wonder if that would make for a good place to store top quality zeds.

>flesh-crafting is facilitated when the assembly is performed in honey-vats
>bones and flesh knit faster
>leftovers dumped into vats supply or create goo and ooze monsters

then they are exclusively for static sentries there

Bump

Organ the instrument or like...a giant intestine that he plays like a tuba?

Hookers

A bunch of ghosts that look normal when you first see them until you turn your back,which is when they will rip your asshole apart.

Yes.

> Walking corpses of a royal family
> A squad of infective zombles
> A broken staircase and some means to travel by air or through portals on the second floor
> Poisonous traps
> Whatever he wants the castle for.

>newfetishdetected
seriously tho, this man has some taste regarding tiles if you just remove the fact that he is attracted by them.

A skeleton crew to maintain it.

Well, it's a giant set of bagpipes, so both.

>No skeletons necessary,
The fuck? That's not proper necro work.

Are there any video games with this exact aesthetic? I want a /comfy/ narrative about exploration of the old and the ancient, with simple, charming visuals, just like this.

My campaign actually has a lich who made a hybrid between a Century Worm and humans, their lives specially shortened so that they age more quickly, to create a 'wormspawn' abomination. Every wormspawn that gets big enough, he guts, and feeds their organs to vivisectors, in exchange for their services, and then animates the wormspawn as a skeletal minion.

It's pretty awesome.

and black-jack?

A whole harem of undead girls, each handcrafted from dozens of parts to fit a specific fetish, like the thicc mommy-tier zombie, and the pale skinned dark hair goth zombie, and don't forget the ever important slim but big titted futa

>No skeletons necessary

Peaceful and kind

You forgot the best one

Did that deer get buried or just die standing up?

mushroom farms, ghost kitties, an aviary full of crows, and a dapper gent skeltal butler who communicates by rattling his jaw and writing on a chalkboard on a lanyard.
also a lot of blankets because a post-necromancer castle is going to be drafty and cold.

I suppose it'd be rather barebones overall.

Almonds.

I was actually thinking about how necromancy would be the best kind of magic to learn. I was talking to a female the other morning and stating how I'm a slight control freak and if I could choose any kind of magic to practise in I would choose necromancy.

I mean, throwing fireballs or using ice would be neat for a little while but I think a horde of skeletal servants would be superior to anything.

I wouldn't be able to handle all the cobwebs or generally dirty things (another tick for skeletal horde since they can clean all the time without tiring or complaining), so I would put cleaning supplies in my castle.

Extreme hoarder Necromancer. Ever hear of those brothers in New York that had an elaborate maze of trash in their house. Complete with traps and feral rats and cats. One brother died when a cave in trap trapped him in a trash crawl space and his brother who was an invalid with MS or something couldn’t do anything and later died of dehydration/starvation. They weren’t discovered for like another 3 years or something.

>Not being the eternal, undying, savior liche lord.
>Not promising to spread an eternal utopic festival to every new place that converts to the joyous life everlasting.
>Not having your faithful devotees sing hymns to your glory forevermore.

It's inhabitants of course, every single one, as far back as remains can be found.

Corpses.
Literally nothing but animated corpses; packed wall to wall so there’s hardly any space to move, like a bunch of rotting undead human sardines. No really powerful or elite undead, just an endless stream of zombies that sit there and attack en-masse anyone who comes inside or even opens the door.
Most adventurers will go there and finally leave when they get tired of hour long encounter after hour long encounter of yet another huge room filled with nothing but zombies.
The best part?
The necromancer isn’t even in the castle. He knows the castle is just going to end up bait for the next adventuring party to come around like every other necromancer-owned and undead-filled castle. Relying on adventurer’s basic assumptions that old castles filled with undead will actually matter somehow or be useful, he basically just turned the entire place into a gigantic waste of time that most adventuring parties will either die or loose quickly patience with rather then wasting time painting a bullseye on his back.

... Is this some kind of meme or...?

Well of Misery

No. Just almonds.

I'm an artist, not a sadist.

Sodium cyanide is supposed to taste & smell like burnt almonds