Orcbituary

And so you party has dispatched the three Orcish Guards. They included....
>Groz, Second Son of Frehz: (age 26) Son of a modestly successful blacksmith, Groz was sent to fight in the Dark Lord's army as part of his village's usual Levy. He was well respected among his squad for fighting prowess, but could never stand the idea of torture and got into several punch ups with torturers.
>Grushkah, Forth Son of Muuruz (age 24): Son of a Catfish farmer, Grushkah's father disapproved of his interest in carving, drawing and tending plants and so was sent off to fight in the Dark Lord's army to make an orc of him. He collected flowers as his campaigns moved him from here to there.
>Fhogh: First Daughter of Flimik (age 27): Daughter of a nightsoil disposal orc, Fhogh decided to avoid a life shoveling crap by sneaking off to the next village over and joining up with the next company looking for recruits. While a capable with an axe she always let peasants and similar run away by making a lot of noise and not chasing them beyond a token short jog to imply she might catch them.

Yes yes we get it, war is hell and the orcs are people too.

And I suppose that means we should forgive them for trying to kill us, and of course all the other villagers and the like who get killed or enslaved by orcs / other dark forces aren't anywhere near as rich or wholesome people as the orcs.

And they dindu nuffin
They were good bois
They were saving all the money from looting and pillaging to go to college and get a degree on advanced mathematics.

I'll give you a kys, faggot

And what, pray tell, would you do if you came across an Orcish village?

Perhaps me could make amends with a political marriage?

I'd play that group. Fuck your campaign, I want to play the Orcish Guards and have adventures in freeing out people from the tyranny of the Dark Lord.

I still feel better now than after killing 100 humans with similar stories.

Burn it.

Why do manchildren get so actively offended at the thought of having even the slightest bit of complexity

This missed the point of using orcs.

It's not complexity, it's the smug, masturbatory tone of OP post. I'm all for complex, non-black-and-white settings, but autistic Martinfags should burn in the hottest layer of hell.

It's not even original - this shit has been done and re-done hundreds of times, but lo and behold, here we have OP, roleplaying being intelligent on a roleplaying board.

There's nothing complex about it, it's the standard bullshit of idiots trying to make players feel bad for killing enemies by going "well they're people too!" with too little context to go on besides some names and what their hobbies were. War sucks, people die all the time, and if they wanted to live they shouldn't have decided to work for a cunt called the Dark fucking Lord.

>decided
2/3 didn't have a choice and the 3rd didn't have a great one.

there's nothing "complex" about it, shithead
moral relativism and stories that aren't black-and-white have been done to fucking death
you aren't bringing anything new to the table, you're just jacking yourself off over how "deep" you are

You always have a choice. Join the good humans. Help us kill the rest of your disgusting race you filthy orc.

Still changes nothing.

Changes nothing, character is near feral. Party leader says kill, he kills.

>dindu orcs
>complex
Brainlet detected

Do you think peoples' responses would be different if these guards were humans who had grown up in a Dark-Lord-compliant culture?

WOT DA ZOG

GROZ WUZ A ROIT WEEDY GIT E WUZ, E TRIED TA BECOME NOB BUT WASNT ARD ENUF

WHO DA ELL IZ GRUSHKAH, DAT'S GROTKAH DAT IZ, E WUZ A PROPA ARD BOY BUT SINCE DA DOK GAVE IM SQUIG PILLZ E WUZ A BIT ODD

FHOGH USED TA MUCK ABOUT WIV UMIES, AN ONE O DEM POINTY EARS CUT IZ DANGLY BITZ OFF

WE AD A ROIT LARF AT DAT

WELL ANYWAY DEY WASNT VERY ARD ORKZ AN DEY DIED FIGHTIN WHILE YOU IZ ALL A BUNCH A GITZ

WAAAAAAGH

PURGE THE GREENSKIN FILTH

WITH HOLY PROMETHIUM, AND BOLTER, AND LASGUN, WE WILL ABHOR THE XENO

THEY WILL FIND NO SHELTER, NO RESPITE, WHILE WE OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD DRAW BREATH

FOR THE EMPEROR!

After a short, but brutal ambush, you have killed the last of the 3 Orcs, they included:
>Gorg Grabsack: Hobbies include cornholing sheep, gutting 'umiez, consuming uncooked puppy flesh and (of course) grabbing sack.
>Mek the Mad: Former artillerist of the 3rd Gobbo Air Corps. Hobbies not listed, but was known to laugh heartily when Goblin loaders were 'accidently' launched along with the shot into stunty lines or castle walls.
>Grom Grea... wait a minute, this looks like Dark Elf in green edible body paint. Must have been a proxy.

>REEEEEEEEEEE ME NO LIKE HAVE TO QUESTION ACTIONS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Why would a brainlet call someone else a brainlet?

If we’re going to have moral greyness, don’t call your villain the Dark Lord and don’t fucking spring it on us.
Its a bad idea to bring morality to a classic dungeon crawl, it’s a bad idea to bring dungeon crawls into a game about morality. I’m fine with either, but the central point of the campaign should be pretty fucking explicit, so I can make my character and role play accordingly.

All in all, fuck you OP

The Party Wizard's fireball disintegrates the last of the Orcs. They included...
>Gorgil Nail-nose: Bit of a cunt, lost his nose as a child when his mother bit it off. Known amongst his comrades for...favoring...captured Dwarvish women.
>Grashgrub: 8th of 26 siblings, he leaves behind 13 legitimate children, 67 bastards, 2 wives, and 40 "mistresses" we found chained up in the basement of his garrison.
>Huorok: Company chef, got lost on his way to make soup for the troops, ended up cooked.

These kind of sound like death assessments from a game of Orc Fortress

>Orc Fortress
>Not Orc Shack
IT'S LOIK YA DON'T EVEN ORK, INNIT?

>Mongro has come under a strange mood
>Mongro has sequestered himself in da mek shop

>Mongro got a shoota
>time for a scrum boyz
>waaaaaaaagh

>Orc Shack
Is that like the Nutshack?

No matter what you tell yourself, it’s not complicated.
I hope you’re underage, because I’d hate being intellectually stuck in this state

Who started the war?

It's always the politicians! Elf, Orc, Dwarven, Human - it's always one of them that started the war. Either for national honor, tradition, grudges, profit or other, it's always the higher-ups. The peasants and conscripts don't give two fucks, they're just swept up in that war and ground to their deaths in the great machine that is war.

That said, has there ever been a mixed-race peasant rebellion that is spread throughout several nations? In fantasy setting, especially?

>And so you party has dispatched the three Chaos Cultists. They included....

Aurelius Fernand, age 21. Ministorum clerk who became convinced a recurrent rogue number in his reports was a conspiracy, and ended up becoming a victim of Tzeentch's great schemes.

Khemia Coraq, age 32. A miner who became sick of jokes about women being a jinx in the mines and cut her work gang apart with a rock drill, pleasing Khorne greatly.

Victor van Diemen, age 57. Years of working in a polluted hive city led to his contracting a serious respiratory disease. His prayers were, sadly, heard by Nurgle.

Phyris Aqzat, age 16. Given his first taste of Starstim at age 14 by his ganger girlfriend, Phyris found within a couple of years the drugs weren't enough. But the strange rituals he was invited to certainly were fun, and who cares if the girls were sometimes better equipped than him? Slaanesh doesn't care.

AND SO REMEMBER, THE LURE OF CHAOS IS INSIDIOUS AND EVER PRESENT.

AN OPEN MIND IS LIKE A FORTRESS WITH ITS GATES UNBARRED

>Given his first taste of Starstim
I thought that said Statism for a second.

I read it as Statistics.
Imagine Slaaneshi cultists who crunch numbers all the time, just to get the thrill of learning new numbers/code/what have you.
>"The stock market of Capra IV correlates with the grain harvest of Sept T'Vau! Yeeees~!"
>"Ah, ah, ahhh~! I found the 375th number of pi! Ohhhyeeeeaaaah!"

There should be. Settings always have divides along racial lines, where’s the immigration? Where’s the religious minorities? Where’s the socalist communes where all races are comrades against capitalist oppression?

When was George RR Martin mentioned or even implied?

This is like talking about cake recipies and someone went up out on against bakers which make rye bread with less than 20% rye flower.

This really.

Found the Martinfag.

Don't make me remember that meme.

>Groz was sent to fight in the Dark Lord's army as part of his village's usual Levy.

Is there any way to figure out where this village is? Sounds like a good source of XP.

Looks like someone needs to commit Kanshi soon.

Or become a ronin.

If I wanted to be depressed and start a feels trip, I would watch a sad movie or go out and do something IRL. I don't need to be reminded that 'ooh, everything is shit' in my games too.

I want a comfy game in which my fleet-footed halfling can steal the dark Lord's ring, dump it in a volcano, dance a little jig, run back to the elves and bake a cake for his loving group.

Why don't *you* listen to when I tell you what I'm looking for, instead force your gritty reality on the group All. The. Time?

Standard procedure, you know, rape, pillage and burn.

>lmao at all this damage control
You realize that the complexity comes from within yourself, right? Giving orcs a background and a personality etc. just means that you might have to think about what you're doing.

If you don't like that, maybe ask why. I propose that the reason you react with so much hostility towards this particular concept isn't that the orcs (((dindu nuffin))), it's the implication that you DID do somthin', and that's far, far scarier.

lol, who cares? I slaughter them anyway for the crime of being brown. Don't worry, I'm a force of good in the universe, and my hot gf is exempt from my wrath.

And so you party has dispatched the three Orcish Guards. They included....

>Orc Red 0hp 1 greataxe 2gp
>Orc Blue 0hp 1 greataxe 1gp
>Orc Green 0hp 1 greataxe 2gp

Not going to lie, would betray king and country for hot orc booty.

Would play.

I feel kinda bad about Orc Blue. Why did he have only 1gp? Did he send it back to his family to feed his child? Did he spend it to buy beer to drown away the sorrow of being driven away from his clan? Maybe the other two gimped him on payments regularly since he wanted to become chaotic good or at least chaotic neutral?

Come on man! Give me some forced drama! I really want to feel bad about my actions in "The Quest for the Golden Clamp"!

My party now starts killing every Orc they see until the GM runs out of info, gives up, or forgets to do it.

>AAAH, HELP ME ELEMENTS
>no can do, you cheated

>projecting and moving the goalposts
>with a literal 'no u' argument

>Why do manchildren get so actively offended at the thought of having even the slightest bit of complexity

You're trying to tip over one of the /pol/tard's sacred cows.

Because this concept is stale and only good for joking around as is so in the OP.

>Khemia Coraq, age 32. A miner who became sick of jokes about women being a jinx in the mines and cut her work gang apart with a rock drill, pleasing Khorne greatly.
Wew. That's some serious irony.

We will pray for the fallen, especially the righteous among them, but their deaths do not make this war any less just. Only the most virtue-less coward would prefer an unjust peace over a just war.

IT'S

THE

NUTSHACK

Do you even need to ask?
Around elves, watch yourselves

>Objective morality is bad

>didn't have a choice
Jawohl mien heir just obeying orders!