What are the most retarded, harebrained schemes your players have ever come up with and did they work?

What are the most retarded, harebrained schemes your players have ever come up with and did they work?

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>The fat unathletic Character jumps a near impossible jump on an impulse to save another Character, even with his negative stats.
Yea I saved the day with the heart of the dice! My firey passion will bend the chances in my favor, even if they are impossible!

Told this story a couple of times before but here goes
>Party tasked with infiltrating fortress held by bandits and killing their leader
>Party decide to try to lure some bandits out of the fortress to increase their odds of success
>To do this, they decide to light a fire outside the fortress in the dead of night
>Bandits start streaming from the fortress both the put the fire out and to search for who lit it
>I describe the inside of the fortress ringing with bells as the fortress is now put on alert and guards man the walls thinking an attack is imminent since they reasonably ascertained that someone must have lit the now raging fire
>Instead of looking for a grate or unmanned part of the wall the players instead try to climb up one of the parts of the wall I specifically described as manned
>Players get spotted and shot to pieces and two of them die before the rest can run away
>Players get mad
So no it did not work. I should also add that I warned the players at multiple points that what they were doing was incredibly risky.

>be GMing an EotE game
>party on the run from local spaceport security
>their landspeeder is shot to shit, on fire, streaming smoke
>drunk pilot shouts "HOLD ON I HAVE AN IDEA"
>bootleg turns, throws open the repulsorlifts and ramps backwards off a fuel tanker in hopes of leaping over the buildings to another street
>face decides to spice things up, shoots the fuel tanker and gets 2 triumphs
>it explodes, sending the landspeeder flying about 80 feet into the air, basically a burning slab of metal now
>drug addled mechanic (currently hanging out of the engine compartment mid-repair) makes a last ditch attempt, rejiggers all of the remaining power to funnel into repulsorlifts and adds an extra jolt of energy by ripping apart 4 blaster power packs and crmaming them into the "fuel zone or what have you"
>landspeeder tumbles out of the sky, bounces off repulsors once before completely exploding
>somehow, no one died

To travel back in time and kill herself.

>in starting village in bumfuck nowhere
>"Hey gm, can i sell enchanted rocks?"
>me: what do they do
>"they do more damage"
>me: so you want to sell peasants rocks that hurt more to get hit with?
>"yeah"
>me: you can try
>tg rolls 13 to search for buyers, finds a group of kids he sells a dozen rocks to for a copper a piece
>they turn out to be little shits and immediatly start throwing the rocks at tg
>after almost getting KO'd by them, he catches one and the kid tells him someone gave him the money to throw the rocks in tg's face for trying to rip off the townsfolk
>they had to rent a bed because they were low on HP which costed more than what they made that day because of a sour disposition toward tg

they were acting like a cunt almost the entire session. every 5 minutes, he'd think of some way to derail what everyone is doing
>hey guys imma go do somersaults over every wagon that passes through town while you do your business getting us a job
>I roll to intimidate the shopkeeper to try to give me a better price on starter equipment, then yell obscenities at him for not giving me things for free
>im going to suplex every living thing I pass by

didn't realize I tagged this post, sorry

also didn't really mean to make a tg post, but it just sorta evolved into it

The party was going through a dark hallway and one of the party members decided to get a candle from a chandelier to make some light. So far so good right? No, because he instantly decides that the best way to get said candle is to do a sommersault.
With full armor.
And a greatshield on his back.
He obviously fell to the floor and broke his nose with the impact. What's more infuriating is that he was a Warlock (which in Anima is essentially a battlemage) and could have used:
-His light magic to light up the area.
-His wind magic to either float and get the candle or move the candle near him.
-His creation magic to create a stool, stair or whatever the fuck he wanted to get to the chandelier and grab the candle.

There's also the time i told another player he should eat a minotaur's heart to see if he gained minotaur powers or something.
It actually fucking worked. Cue character that turns into a 'zerking minotaur when he touches a deer or a little girl.

>Do this thing. It will be good for you.
>Haha! It was bad for you! Gotcha!
The first story was good. That second bit was a little full blown retarded.

Somebody post the Bard greentext. I love it.

>im going to suplex every living thing I pass by

Alignment: Lesnar

>cue character that turns into a ‘zerking minotaur when he touches...a little girl.

The most terrible of curses.

Is it though?

Bonus points for lying on top of your opponent until they get too tired to fight back.

I was actually as surprised as he was when actualy fucking worked, and proceeded to stop everything i was doing in-story to find a way to lift the curse, which according to the DM would have actually turned into a buff if the campaign hadn't been dropped.

It is if the character's canonically a pedophile.

*when it actually fucking worked, FUCK

My party decided that they were going to try to recruit the boss of the current story.
They started out by effectively binding him in place through spells, and various martial shenanigans, and then continually throw diplomacy checks at him until he joined them. Unfortunately I have a bad tendency to give my random villains deeper backstories than necessary, and determined that he wasn't just going to submit to death (the argument that they ended on was "or we could just kill you I guess").

So yeah, I had to make a character sheet for them, and gave it over to the party face, to whom the boss had sworn a blood oath to serve. It ended up working out fine because the party face had a severely sub-optimal character for literally everything (including being the face) so giving him a semi-optimized melee specialist under his direct command ended up being mostly fine as far as party balance goes.

>Have a bunch of powerful evil wizards to command
>Need to kidnap a wizard kid with no special qualities whatsoever that spends half the year in a slum with no magic at all and no competent supervisors
>Decide to kidnap him by making him touch a teleporting object
>ok
>what's the best way to get a kid to touch a random item?
>Maybe enchant a letter or package and send it to them?
>Maybe have one of the dark wizards take a shapeshifting potion, turn into a lovely old lady and bump into them with the item in hand?
>Nah, best way is to have a lackey use a ridiculous supply of potions that take a month to make with rare ingredients and last only one hour each, to turn him into one of the professors from the kid's magic school, allegedly the safest place in the magical world, after having kidnapped said professor, namely a badass and super-paranoid hunter of dark wizards and a close acquaintance to the most powerful wizard in the world that is the only competent person who's actively going after us, the headmaster of the school, who he will be working close to all the time. Then he'll have to hack a super-secure sorting spell to make sure that the kid is chosen for a tournament against three older and all-around better students, and go out of his way to help the kid so that he hopefully wins the tournament and is the first one to touch the cup, a very important and enchanted historical artifact, which we will have previously enchanted to become our teleporting mcguffin.
>All this to make a kid touch an enchanted item that could be literally anything, including his fucking shoes.

Well? Did he succeed?

Somebody post the gazebo story

Over the course of 3 years GM'ing, I got a few from my adorable, but often ill-inspired group.

>Party is tasked to clear remote fort in the mountains.
>Fort is literally carved inside the tip of a mountain, and only accessible through a long and narrow bridge.
>The bridge leads to a reinforced door overlooked by three murderholes.
>Majority of the party opts for a frontal assault

Fortunately the de-facto face of the party (a sleazy rogue with the ethical code of a modern congressman) was able to convice the party to back off, with words such as "you cretins can go kill yourselves if you want, I'll be staying here and actually try to solve our problem"

>Party gets on the nerve of the mayor of a village not far from this nation's capitol. Said mayor is a huge dick, and also a literal mountain of muscles
>Brawl ensues. Witnesses abound.
>Party goes lethal on the mayor, unleashing steel and spells.
>Mayor decides to even the playing field by getting his fuckhuge axe.
>Group fighter keeps his cool, takes the time (and an action surge) to put his plate of food in a secure place, then proceeds to beat the mayor unconscious.
>Group cheers.
>Racist dick of an elven ranger proceeds to stab the mayor in the eye.
>He's ded Jim.
>Witnesses are still here. For all they know, this bunch of weird-ass strangers just beat up their mayor and stabbed him in the 'ead when he was out cold.
>Sure he was a dick but that's still overreacting
Then the party acts surprised when, a couple of days later, the weirder-looking members of the group (who fucking grouped together and traveled together, barely trying to conceal their appearance) are arrested in the big city for murder of an highl-ranking public officer, and sentenced to death by hanging.

>Some party members are oathbound law enforcers.
>Proceed to leave trail of bodies and burnt buildings without even realizing they are overstepping their bounds.

>Let's attack a group of eight in which each person is roughly as powerful as the entire party, which we know through some divination magic.

>Did it work
No.

>Picture of Steppenwolf
Is there something you're trying to tell us, OP?

Ah I remember this story. Your players are a bunch of idiots.

>second session
>fighting baby dragon
>retard ranger has brilliant idea to launch himself at the dragon via ballista
>warlock gets nat 20 to aim at the dragon
>ranger gets 18 to hold on for dear life
>climbs the dragon using his shortswords as icepicks
>accidentally stabs it in the heart
>plummets 100ft from the sky on the dragon
>nat 20 to stick the landing and not break all his bones
>dabs on top of dragon corpse
we were all prepared for him to die multiple times

Honestly the worst part wasn't their ill thought out plan, it was their absolute confidence that there were no flaws in their plan. I could not for the life of me understand their reasoning.

The most retarded, harebrained scheme would be an improvement because it would at least resemble some form of planning.

Ah, it's another episode of Reddit's take on criticals, slash 'epic rolls that totally happened lel'

> it's a faggot refers to reddit episode

if it was le reddit crits xd he would have gotten 20 to cling on to dear life too

>if you roll 20, you can ignore anything!
Not sure who's more idiotic, the DM or the player

I'll tell you after the next session. Some of my fellows read tg and I wouldn't want to spoil anything.

But it is quite nuts.

Is there a collection of the image macros for this and the '>tfw to smart for x' thing anywhere?

Search for "brainlet" and you'll find a lot of them, mister Satan.

Did it work?

As a DM:
>Do you remember yourself from the future attempting to kill you at some point in your life?
>No?
>Clearly it didn't work.

>Tfw you travel back in time to kill yourself only to have your past self kill you

Scheduling guy with fulltime job and two girlfriends for regular weekly game.
As a GM.

Of course Lucifer would love the dumbest shitposting meme of the year.

Too bad you didn't get a nat20 writing this bait. I smiled though so I reckon a 12.

>goblins with crossbows in a small broken up shack
>Soloplayer knows they're in there
>Goblins know he's out there and are prepped to shoot when he opens the door
>player knows this too
>"Shit I got a great idea"
>lights a torch, opens the door to toss it in
>gets shot a couple times but he's still not too bad, fighter with high health
>waits a few minutes
>"why didn't the shack light up yet? the old wood is really dry right?"
>"they probably just put it out"
>"Well shit, how do I light the shack on fire then? I'm out of torches"
>"....why didn't you just light the outside on fire?"
>"...oh shit, that'd have worked a lot better"
In his defense, his character had low int and wis, so he was roleplaying pretty well in that sense. It was still a fun session anyway.

I try as hard as I can to understand Crouch, but I can only handwave this with "he's nuts" and "Harry's under Dumbledore's protection"

And then I just think "yeh, but he's smart as fuck" and "Dumby is so easy to fool, even Draco fuckin' Malfoy at SIXTEEN could"

>two girlfriends

What the fuck, I can't even get half a girlfriend

You're probably aiming for one too many dimensions, friendo.

Don't try to understand why people do things in Harry Potter novels. They do things because J. K. Rowling can't write for her dear life.

Was playing in a party in ffd20, had a dragoon and an aergyl in the party (Someone really good at jumping and someone that can naturally fly) when faced with a chasm with a solitary chest on the other side, they opted to try and summon chocobos and to just jump off of them while running off to make it to the other side. This plan lasted until the one who could just fly went over.

to be fair, if he'd failed he probably would have gotten stuck in the gap and made a handy bridge for other characters to cross over on.

Why's you have to post that page? Now I'm angry at Japanese people for being so bad at tabletop gaming.

We managed to make crossing a shitty bridge a hellish affair
>a shitty wooden bridge is in front of us
>first guy just crosses on his horse, bridge creaks a bit but nothing much
>second guy crosses without his horse because he gets paranoid
>third guy tries to bring the second guy's horse to him, alongside his own
>shitty bridge collapses under the weight of two horses and another guy
What a fucking mess

what is that pic even from?

What if DM does multiverse theory though?

Then why would you bother as it's not going to affect your parent reality/timeline

Looks like Goblin Slayer.

because you didn't know if it would work or not, so you kill yourself and realize that it achieved nothing, but are also in an earlier version of your own world. So you essentially went back in time and have the knowledge of the events that happened up until the time you came from. Depending on campaign, you could do a lot with that, just saying.

>players are secret agents, searching for an occult artefact
>they've heard that a mundane person in another city have gotten their hands on it, but they don't know if she's figured out that it's magic
>as they drive to the city they discuss how to search her apartment, if they should break in and so on
>party face, who is independently wealthy, suggests something else
>HUGE
>FAKE
>CHECK
>the rest of the players case the area around the apartment while the party face orders a suite at a nice hotel under a fake name, and convinces/bribes a print shop to make him a huge fake check for 250 000 dollaridoos in 1985 money
>he tells them it's for a prank
>party face joins rest of party at the apartment
>they knock on her door, she comes out to see a smiling, suit-clad man with a huge check
>"Congratulations, you've won the lottery."
>"I didn't enter a lottery."
>it was about this time that the party face realised that he might have fucked up
>"Uh, everyone in the city entered by default. It's the city lottery."
>other party member chimes in to help
>she's sceptical, but is starting to believe
>face tells her that she has a free night at a hotel, and that she will sign the paperwork and get the money tomorrow
>offers to drive her to the hotel
>she finally agrees, party face picks her up a bit later
>as she comes to the hotel, and actually gets a free night there, she now fully believes the party's story

>while party face is hanging out with her, the party search the apartment, but find nothing
>they run into a group of occultists wanting the same artefact
>party calls face to tell him that she must have taken it to her hotel room
>party face invites her out to dinner, she agrees
>party searches the room, with the face's spare key
>find item, but run into occultists again, fighting breaks out
>shooting, magic, people are hurt, party must evacuate before real cops show up
>meanwhile, party face is having a pleasant dinner at a fancy resturant
>bloodied, the party get a car and disappear into the night
>finished with dinner, the party face drops off the woman at the hotel and promises to pick her up tomorrow to sign the paperwork
>leaves town that very night, never having met the antagonists of the mission
So I guess it worked.

So a good plan that could have used some ironing in the details is "harebrained" and "retarded?"

>player is being chased by mutated, exploding mosquitoes
>it's the post-apocalypse, that's just how wildlife is now
>player running across the woods, comes across pool of water
>deep enough to dive into
>proceeds to pour flammable liquid into pool, so that it lies on top of the water
>goes into water, lights flame and ignites the oil while diving underneath
>his plan is to hide from the bugs while the fire drives them away
>genius.jpeg
>can't actually hold his breath very long
>fire still burning when he runs out of air
>must now choose between drowning and being burnt
>no party nearby, since he ran away from them
>takes damage when going up for air
>doesn't manage to get to shore
>goes back underwater
>runs out of breath
>passes out
>drowns

I played a half Japanese /pol/ Nazi who got isekai-ed and acted like a shounen hero once. It was a fun campaign, the highlight of which was my character killing the final boss in one turn (after being frozen in time for several turns until I rolled a Divine intervention and nearly dying) causing the DM to reset the universe

>Dabbing
Way to ruin it asshole.

V, TM:
>So the that tzimisce fucker that has been trying to kill us for the last five decades or so and turned me in a corrupted flesh-shapping thing hated by everyone but this two somewhat crazy guys is on top of that reinforced skyscraper with about 300 trained soldiers heavily armed with anti-vampire guns, eldritch flesh monsters and a shit load of traps?
Yes, players. Get ready for a ton of gunfights and maybe dying against impossible odds to kill that bastard that taunted you on this 4 year long campaing!
>players fistbump
What?
>WONDER VAMPIRES ACTIVATE!
Wait, players...
>SHAPE OF A BLOOD BUCKET!
What are you doing?!?
>SHAPE OF A GIANT EAGLE!
Shit, they already payed a guy to fuck with his helicopter escape...
I could only watch in horror as the players entered the building trough the roof, threw a lot of explosives inside and flew away. The ventrue player never even cared, he just went off to buy his new restaurant chain so they could have where to throw a party at the end of the day.

This one made me kek

>tfw no 4d gf

Don't have it handy, but I do have some other tales from the ancient times.

highprogrammer.com/alan/gaming/shadowrun/clue-files.html

>Exalted
>players control the Lap
>Realm is distracted with new Deathlord springing up but will undoubtedly send a fleet to fuck them up, soon
>Twilight found past incarnation's spellbook, contains a few Terrestrial spells of player's choice
>twilight's player compulsively rereads setting books
>comes back with The Parting of the Waters
>summons demon wasps for everyone to ride, head off to intercept the fleet
>party flies through a gap in the ocean, punching rudders and keels off ships like Detroit Moses
>Wyld Hunt flies after us on flying Huraka bears, air elementals
>none of us have Ride
>they all have Ride

>His gf doesn't exist in time
>This is why he doesn't have a gf

Go to the surfice, catch some breath (and fire) and then go underwater again when you're starting to get crispy to put the fire out.
BOOM. Flawless plan.

They were hunting rats in the cellar.
They killed one instantly by breaching and clearing the basement, the Elf ranger strongly pretending that his bow shot 5.56.
They greased up the unlucky dead rat with cheese and set it alight, collectively reasoning that this master bait, this gourmet Ramsey-tier meal, will instantly lure the other rats over to the dining table, so that they could all be singed by a single fireball or grenade.

I had like 4 new players in and didn't wanna crush their dreams. I gave them shit about their shitty plan but pulled a solution out of my ass to give them well deserved retarded victory. I might've been drunk too.

Now I know, the next time someone pulls this sort of insane idiotic shit I'll just sic a werewolf or something else that smelled the shitstew and thought it edible.

>Party face goes on a date while the rest of the party get bloody and beaten
Seems like everything went perfectly as intended.

> PCs uncover massive mining operation using slaves from raiding near villages
> all hints point to a monolith deep inside the forest
>PCs arrive, see the place is guarded with lots of beastmen
>"We take another route, I saw a manticore flying away from there, let's follow it!"

>Put random numbers into the Hyperdrive; placing selves in severe danger.
>Succeed on 5 difficulty roll with Triumph.

unrelated but I had to edit your image

Yes. Well, sort of.

>Implying her character didn't appear and kill her, which set her off on the path towards the whole plan to begin with

She hadn't even imagined to kill herself until her character showed up and killed her.

Fighting a Marilith at level 3.
We almost killed her.

>running Sunless Sea campaign on SWN
>party stole a Merchant cruiser from some pirates
>it has about 50 crates filled with unmarked souls
>they try to come up with an idea to sell the illegal cargo
>looking for a criminal contacts in London is shut down because they can't be trusted (remember this)
>taking them to the Iron Republic is shut down because of a previous mindfuck experience there
>going all the way to Mt Palmerston and supplying the exiles with some rare treats is shut down also because devils can't be trusted
>suddenly, a brilliant idea!
>they go to pirate port Gaider's Mourn and parade around the place trying to find someone to buy 50 crates of Unmarked Souls
>they also exclaim loudly that they will go back to London if nobody buys them within the day
>imagine their shock once the entire port tries to board their ship for the loot of a lifetime
>barely manage to reach London and now afraid of being found with illegal cargo
>decide to go as close to the shore as possible and dump all the cargo
>ship's beached

You'd think 5 people that know their SS shit wouldn't end up eating their own fingers, but here we are.

"I wonder what would happen if you ate that rock radiating pure evil" The other character did it, became corrupted, and died fighting an overpowered monster that was ALSO my fault, woops
"I feel sorry for the final boss so I'm going to protect her from the other player's attack" Lead to a Good End for everyone but the attacker, who was the above player's second character. They got killed, again. Woops.

>Finishing Campaign with a massive army battle
>Bring an army to fight two armies
>Confuse them enough to gain advantage
>Thin them out, just barely win, massive losses
>Now for the Boss
>It's all the bad guys we have fought before, plus new ones
>Wipe them out
>Party member picks up bomb, hurls it as a "rock" because it's what his character would do
>Kills all of us, except one guy that manages crazy dice chain

The DM came up with explanations on how one of the others made it, and how another was brought back hundreds of years later. It was still unfortunate, because after having a long campaign where nearly nothing went right, we almost had a perfect ending.

>>Party member picks up bomb, hurls it as a "rock" because it's what his character would do

I HATE IT

Fire consumes oxygen. You wouldn't be able to breath even if you surface.
And even if there would be enough oxygen, the air would be too hot. You'll get horrible painful deadly burns in your windpipe and lungs and die.

>in order to distract guards from a gunshot, merchant shows guard at the gate a great pistol, then intentionally shoots himself in the leg
It was the only part of the plan that did work.

>2 ships sailing side by side in combat
>paladin plans to jump off ship and swim to enemy boat all stealthy like
>jumps in water with chain mail shirt on
>"the ships continue to sail off into the distance in the original direction they were traveling
>fails S.T to grab onto the ship
>the sound of battle dims, until all that is left is the soft roar of the open ocean and soft cawing of gulls
>fails exhaustion check after check
>ditches armour, weapon and all valuables in the process
>eventually found by Druid in seagull form
>naked, unconscious and very almost dead

Player was a good sport and admitted he totally forgot the boats were moving side by side in the same direction.

Not necessarily a harebrained scheme, but definitely an asspull that nobody saw coming.

>running 3.5
>mostly new players, one guy decides to play a barbarian. Not an axe swinging retard, just a simple rural guy who'd rather bash someone's head in than fight with form
>others include an archivist, a wizard, and a druid
>players investigate a manor taken over by kobold, barbarian drops a heavy bookshelf on several of them. Takes a chunk of the bookshelf as a memento.
>many levels later...
>party is doing White Plume Mountain, gets to the vampire.
>barbarian player says to druid, "keep him still, I've got this."
>stakes the vampire with the chunk of bookshelf from level two adventure

I was impressed.

I've lived that exact scenario in Mount & Blade entirely too many times.

>I can only make rolls that I have good stats for in order to try and save people
>My character knows what stats they have and act accordingly, even in an emergency

You sound like a real fun player to have in a game.

tfw no one-dimensional gf

Another player raped a god as to end up with a demigod to call her own and had plans towards that. The decision I'm pretty sure was made on the fly, and she had these grand lofty schemes as a basic level character against a setting who wasn't inclined to agree with her plans, and she was under the belief that because she managed to succeed on very slim chances and just by dint of having a demigod, all her plans and dreams would come true.

They didn't, and it only served to massively complicate the setting or at least the plot.

>Group was adventuring in a zombified city
>Attempting to figure out what went on
>Orc bard, human barbarian, human cleric, elf rogue
>Get to the heart of the city and find a mindflayer with some crazy cult looking shit
>Lots of blood symbols and spikey altars
>Lots of sacrificed and resurrected zombie kids
>Cleric gets pissed and charges the mindflayer
>Gets a hit in
>Mindflayer activates seizure procedure
>Cleric fails save, starts convulsing
>Rogue distracted by all the zombies
>Orc bard is trying to pull the cleric back, can't get to her
>Barbarian has improvised weapons, warhammer, and throwing hammer skills
>Barbarian picks up one of the zombie kids
>"I throw the zombie at the mind flayer"
>Alright sure why not
>He has to roll an 18 or higher to hit
>Nat 20
>The mindflayer turns right as a zombie child collides with it
>Knocked off balance and loses concentration
>Bard grabs the cleric
>Cleric snaps out of her fit
>Casts turn undead
>Rogue and Barbarian can close the gap
>Mindflayer kills the zombie and turns to face the group
>proceeds to get his tentacles rammed up his own ass
>Mindflayer dies, zombies all cease function
>Barbarian takes the skull as a trophy
>Cleric buries the dead children
>Bard is inspired and writes a song about the Battle
>Rogue collects his money and sulks in the corner
That was a fun adventure.

>go to pirate port Gaider's Mourn and parade around the place trying to find someone to buy 50 crates of Unmarked Souls
>50 crates of Unmarked Souls
>Parade around the place trying to find someone to buy

Jesus Christ.

It would have been kinda understandable if he was a monk or barb or something, but no, he was an artificer.
the only thing he succeeded in suplexing was a live wolf out of a tree (thanks to a team effort of the barbarian(hauled the wolf up the tree) and wizard(put the wolf to sleep until it was in the tree)). he borderline died because of that.

Not to mention burning fuel further produces toxic fumes. People know to avoid breathing smoke in a burning building but somehow this doesn't extend to other scenarios.

>people aren't aware of their own athletic capability
The retard here is you.

Maybe they know their stats too the number, but they should have a basis of what they are capable of compared to others. Even to save someone, I can eyeball a distance that is physically impossible for me to jump

I fucking hate you people

We hate you too, user!

I always hated wojaks but all these fucking brain variants are most irritating yet. Kill it with fire.

> Party of two players (warrior and mage) joined gang A
> Do a good job, but have to leave town because of assassins not related to gangs
> (basically they saw things they were not supposed to see and an actual serious mafia decided to take care of them. That, and the city jobs were becoming too easy for them (I'm a shitty GM, I know))
> Gang A boss offers one last job, advising to gtfo of town after that
> There will be a meeting of gang A and gang B. Gang A will bring a chest full of magical trinkets, gang B will bring documents that confirm ownership of several shops and manufacturers
> Party doesn't ask what's in the chest or what gang B is going to pay for the chest
> They only ask where the meeting will be held
> Proceed to plan how to kill everybody and still all the loot
> Buy 10 barrels of oil
> Oil up the whole street, set it up in lines so they could create rectangle shaped fire walls
> Hide conjured pet in on of the houses just in case
> Meeting time
> OoC spend about 30 minutes trying to decide how to kill everyone
> Give up and explain what a murderhobo is
I just realized that oil probably reeks so NPCs should've noticed the fucking dried puddles of it everywhere. The houses were made out of stone, clay and dirt (middle-east styled huts made out of dried shit, you probably saw those)
These characters weren't evil in the slightest, chaotic neutral at best. Warrior was ex gang leader himself, so he respected the gang they've joined and its leader, but the mysterious box got the best of him, I guess. The mage hated leader of gang B this much, and I gave plenty of reasons to, too.

this doesn't even sound that hairbrained, just a really good combat encounter.

Not that I'm, complaining, good shit.

>I always hated wojaks but all these fucking brain variants are most irritating yet. Kill it with fire.

I dunno, at the time, scooping up and throwing an angry zombie child seemed pretty dumb to me. It only wasn't because it worked out in the end.

Remember, kids! If it's stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.