What are the people that play 40k at your local game store like? I'll start

> Fat bro-tier Nurgle player who I enjoy playing with
>His brother who plays Orks who I've never had a game with because of scheduling conflicts
>Imperium (Guard and Space Marine) player who likes accusing people of heresy
>Another Ork player who takes forever to paint his shit and really likes flashgitz
>Tau netlister who doesn't seem to realize how cheesy his list is
>Thousand sons player I've also never played for some reason
>Me, a new space marine (Lamenters, played as Blood Angels) player who started a few months back because i enjoy painting and the game looks fun
>Primaris marine player even newer than I am who seems to legitimately enjoy the primaris lore.

>fa/tg/uys who post images smaller than their actual fucking mini's.

>Primaris marine player even newer than I am who seems to legitimately enjoy the primaris lore.

Dont you enjoy it,faggot? Because you should

No local game store, but I guess any gaming group counts in.
>Manlet drawfriend, plays CSM, loves fluff lists and Tzeentch and Khorne above others, always rekt because they were worst off for a long time, stopped playing after some stupid drama, no luck fishing him back so far
>Landwhale brony in mid 30's, bought a new army more often than new clothes, has sold all but Tau and CSM, insufferable Taufag and FW white knight, been around since 3E but still can't play, recently outgrew previous fatlord nicknamed after Obelix, you go figure... Reservations of our gaming room are on his name, so we're stuck with him. All my TFG posts on Veeky Forums are about him.
>Blonde afro guy, plays Nids, cool bro who brings noms to be shared but super salty and depressed, doesn't play often, has the worst luck in-game and out-of-game I've seen
>Competitive guy, plays Necrons, going to sell his Tau, very good at the game and likes to play with and against optimized lists, but not a WAAC, doesn't want to touch 8E
>High-functioning autist who's more adult than most of us, plays Orks, my assburger battle brother, finds time for gaming even though he's married, rebuilding his army with him as he lost his models in a car-fire
>Me, another high-functioning burgerlord, playing Blood Angels, Guard and Sisters, always up to try out "non-standard" and fluffy scenarios and lists, not very happy with the new edition, the one who organizes our 40k get-togethers

The Comic Book Shop is more magic so all the 40k players are just guys I know.
>Autistic friend who plays Tau, CSM and is working on eldar his win rate is insane.
> Fat dude who smokes like a fucking factory but is pretty nice and is a great painter and enjoys teaching how to paint.
> My other Autistic friend who plays nids, tall and in great shape has a new "Girlfriend" every two weeks,
> Fat friend I know from Uni. He enjoys building new armies too much and just bought into Eldar after finishing his lotsa sons list.
> Fat Friends fat brother in law. Super Bro Tier and friendly he plays Blood Angels
> Kevin. He is exactly what a Kevin would be like he also Plays Blood angels.
> Me. Friendly but quiet Space Marine Player. Been Playing Marines Since I was a kid and I still enjoy them, been slowly branching off into Gaurd and Ad-mech though. Not very good at painting so I play Raven Gaurd and just dry brush the shit out of my doods.

You guys get cool people and I get a sadist that makes Titans appear behind lamps.

Seeing a trend here fellas.
>fat
>autistic

Wtf am I getting into here?

It's mostly a place that caters to Historical games but most guys there are chill
>a really fat guy with blubber overflowing his crotch but with a head that's not fat with death guard marines and guard
>I really nice guy with a fat and miserable wife with deathguard, nids and greyknights
>a former vicar who went full fedora with tau
>a chap with a shaven head and bird like nose with marines and eldar
>some big autistic guy
>a historical rein-actor who is a big Toto fan with marines
>guy with glasses with orkz

Fucking Kevins

>Landwhale brony in mid 30's, bought a new army more often than new clothes, has sold all but Tau and CSM, insufferable Taufag
I always find that the bronies around my local gaming store are Taufags? Is it because of the hooves? The fact that both piss people off? I'd expect more weebs to play Tau because of le epic battlesuits. But half of the Taufags I know are either bronies or /mlp/ horsefuckers.

I would guess war gaming is a fairly easy frame for a semblance of social life for people who have trouble having one otherwise. That well encompasses the two groups you mentioned, out of which at least "fat" is a common group. I wouldn't necessarily say the same about autists, I can say for sure for my group since I know me and my friend both have a diagnose. Although, there's socially inept/strange people for sure.

He got into MLP way after Tau, "for the humor" he says, but fits the stereotype. We have soft evidence of him attending to MLP ERP forum through a friend's friend. He fucking loves the weeabooism surrounding them, mechas and such.

This surprises me too. The mechas are the #1 reason to play Tau.

How does it feel to be the only blood angel successor chapter that didn't come to the aid of Baal?

For me, it was always the Kroot. Never bought any Tau though.

I miss my shitty Chapter Approved WD Kroot Mercs codex...

>Fat Eldar player, a total powercreep faggot that gets visibly angry when things don't go their way
>Tall and fat White Scars player, also a piece of shit, often lets the Fat Eldar player win because he was his only friend for a while
>World Eaters dude, comic book and black metal fan, semi-suicidal but overall a pretty cool guy
>Imperial Guard bro, started with Cadia but as soon as he got a good job he paid me to convert everything to Vostroyans
>My younger brother, Ultramarines. Surprisingly not a fucking faggot. Totally chill, but happy to backstab others when playing seriously
>Ork pal, the definition of budget player since none of his vehicles is an official model and half of them are either made out of wood, ultra cheap kids toys or even paper. Also a super cool guy.
>Deldar edgelady. Goth, wears an ear-to-nose chain, smells like berries, thicc as fuck. Started playing when her (now ex)boyfriend joined us, but then he threw a bitchfit because she made a joke about cheating on him with me and disappeared. Nothing great about her army, she's kind of a newbie.
>Eldar girls, two sisters who play together with a small task force that would be better in a Kill Team game, I actually gifted them most of their models. One is a semi-hippie super cool chick, she sometimes plays with my old Tyranids, the other is a super cute goth girl with very long hair and huge eyes.
>Blood Angels guy, he's the kind of guy you forget he's there until he reminds you that you skipped his turn. Not a bad person at all, just has no personality
>THE Cunt. If it wasn't because the community here is super small, we wouldn't play with him. He plays Tyranids and he's a piece of shit, once threw a model at me for laughing at his failed roll
>Me. I used to play Tau and Necrons, then sold them off. Started with Tyranids but couldn't complete my army, currently playing AdMech with Knights. As soon as I have disposable income I'll rebuild my Tau and Necron armies.

>dude i went halves on dark imperium with, played sm because his grandfather used to be a regional manager fo GW in our area waaaay back, now plays eldar because he just couldnt win and is a total knife ear
>big fat viking bro who plays SW and GK he's undefeated
>army bro who bought my necron army from me, still havent played him
>the there's tau boy, constantly talks about how amazing tau are then proceeds to trash talk his own army mid match
>bought two FW tau models some suit and the tigerfish whateverthefuck
>got butthurt because we wont play against his FW
>constantly wrong about rules
>me
>used to play necron, now plays death guard and working on imperial guard and imperial fists because i like tanks and fortifying shit

>legit autistic Black Legion player, whose knowledge on lore and bias border on Carnac levels
>Imperial knights player who refuses to use said army in any list above 1000 points
>Admech player who likes infiltrating electropriests and doing a billion mortal wounds and claiming it's balanced because he only gets first turn 50% of the time
>Necron player who is a real mute and gets his ass handed to him every week but shows back up anyway (what a soldier)
>Dark Eldar player who hasn't played since 5th edition and is still trying to look at the game as a puzzle rather than a map (poor deluded fool)
>Alpha Legion (Raven Guard) player who exclusively uses Heresy models in spite of the expense because he honestly hates GW just that much.
>one casual ork player who never wins but always enjoys himself
>Old Taudar player still upset his cheese doesn't work and desparately clinging on to the idea that it was a skilled list rather than a broken one (never shuts up about it)
>GSC player who abuses pure strain an brood brothers, but still converts and paints all of his models.

A little too WAAC and sperg, but can't be uncommon given the environment.
Desparately need new bloods.

>Tau, Eldar and Custodes player who paints everything really fast and is a little goofy, but over all nice
>Young boy who does Eldar and Orks and is surprisingly good at painting
>2 friendly Necron players who are always fun to play against, one always brings up movies so I get to talk to him a lot about them
>3 Older guys who all have multiple armies, all a little grouchy, but easy to get along with if you're able to stand up for yourself and deal with their ball busting
>Young 20s Chad guy who has multiple armies and finishes them fast and well, tournament player
>Handsome manager who has multiple armies and good painting skills, but struggles to finish an army before getting excited about a new one
>Guard guy who is nice, has a massive fully painted army, but it's painted like absolute shit
>Guard and GSC guy who paints nicely and both of his armies are fully painted, he's friendly until the games start going bad for him then he gets extra butthurt
>Eldar and Chaos player, paints nicely, friendly, is annoyingly good at the game
>2 AdMech players that both have nicely done fully painted armies and are easy to get along with, one of them is a real good sport about jokes and will tease you back

The whole store is really friendly. I would say there's only a few people that are trouble makers and it only happens when they are losing badly. Otherwise it's full of gentle ribbing and mostly friendly talk. The manager keeps everyone in line when things start to go off the rails.

>tall bald dude plays csm, excellent painter, super into the lore, genuinely fun to talk to. bit of a drunk.
>his brother, big guy, ork player, also cool. also a bit of a drunk. never has time to play.
>newer player, big guy, plays admech/sm really good painter. very casual, gets annoyed by tryhards. generally pretty chill.
>eldar/ork player, started off pretty bad at the game, but has been making improvements and is pretty decent now. seems to avoid waacfaggotry, but still cackled maniacally when the eldar dex came out. seems kind of depressed, but is nice guy.
>buddy who plays nurgle. professional type, genuinely good guy but gets really focused on the game and looks pissed off through the whole thing. also a decent painter.
>younger dude who just seems to love buying and painting figures, mostly chaos. plays only occasionally, but is there every week. a bit awkward but nice.
>two players, one eldar one marine who seem nice, but only ever play against each other.
>chaos player (slanesh) with absolutely awful luck. not great at the game but trying to improve. awkward but cool.
>newer necron player, know nothing about him.
>buddy who never plays, has tau/eldar. good guy but minmaxes without really realizing it. lists are always brutal, actually has to go out of his way to not waacfag.
>me sm/admech/knight player. meh at painting. try to be friendly to everyone, want my opponent to have fun.

there are a bunch more random people who show up, but too infrequently to bother with.

Wait? Are you the guys I sent my FB orks to plus my friends ork bitz? If so hows the project going?

>Store owner reluctantly plays Eldar, but enjoys playing after he pulls out his minis. considers 4th ed the best edition, but doesn't go full grognard about it
>Nid player #1 who likes to shit talk, likes getting shit talked at but doesn't realize which opponent is fine with shit talk during a game. has caused players new to the store to leave.
>Nid player #2, a tournament player. competent, respectful and he's generally great to play with/against. plays alpha legion in tournaments.
>Nurgle player, runs Mortarion with Nid player #2. Excellent player, but favors power lists. Dating Nid player #2 but doesn't show favoritism.
>Space Wolves player, was a good player. Tends bar somewhere in the city, great guy. Nid player #1 soured his opinion of the store.
>Alpha legion guy. Great player, had an amazing draw against him the week prior. Competent.
>IG player #1 - quit because he doesn't have templates and misses them
>IG player #2 - great guy, doesn't get out much
>me, the Tau/SoB/Ork/Templar/IG player. I think I'm okay? I roll a D6 at the end of the day (rerolling 1s) to figure out what I'm bringing. The designated 'be there on Sundays in case no one else shows up' 40k player.

I only play with one guy but anyway

>me, play death guard, admech and black templars, run the stuff i think look cool
>my mate, runs a version of the gt heat 1 list with razorbackspam and gorillaman, doesn't understand that he's so close to making me just sell all my stuff and find a new hobby

>she made a joke about cheating on him with me
did you at least fucked afterwards?

What defines a Kevin?

The taufag in my group is a super bro punky that acts as the group's father when he's not playing. When he is is a cheesy whiny bitch, who can stand losing a drone while his rapetide causes mayhem

"Who can't stand", goddammit.

>Super nice Deathguard player, a bit overweight, has a neckbeard occasionally but still one of my favorite people at the shop
>His friend, total opposite, fit build, clean shaven, plays Grey Knights, cant stand the guy but play with him anyway because I like to play. Many consider him to be WAAC but he still never beats me.
>IG player, lean guy, fun to talk to, loves Bullgryn
>His dad, biker space wolves bikers and a genuinely smart person
>Small child with bright blue hair, plays and paints extremely well done Deathwatch.
>Admech guy who has some of the best painted mini's ive seen in person
>Britdad guy who does a youtube channel doing batreps at a popular local comic shop
>Britdad's wife who plays Deldar and can actually consistently beat me.
>Tau teen who is emotionally unstable
>Scottish guy who wears a kilt and is missing some teeth but is a top tier friend
>Necron guy with a dull personality who thinks they are bad but plays them anyway
>The guy who made that Dongcron that was popular a week ago, loves his Monolith and plays melee centric Necron army. The opposite of dull wit guy. Skinny and wears a Sabaton hat with at least 20 different 40k pins on it.

We have two stores locally, a GW and LGS. The GW store is infested with Deathguard fags and Alpha Legion meme spewers so I don't go there often.

>Primaris player A who actively won't accept any reasons people hate Gulliman. Kind of obnoxious, rarely plays.
>Fat fuck in his 40s, has been around for years. Always happens to play what is new and cheesey, and will label anyone else a That Guy. Horrible but seeing him lose at weekend tournaments is great.
>Metalfag who works at LGS. Sometimes breaks out his Orks, despite appearances is generally fun to play with.
>The 15 year old Taufag. I'm not sure what to say about him but he's genuinely everything you expect.
>Several different neckbeard Deathguard players, only a couple of whom I've seen put models on the table.
>Specific Deathguard fag who seemed to take offense after asking for advice. He has 6 units of Pox Walkers and couldn't understand why his army went nowhere.
>DEldar bro who plays a lot of Magic. I've been out drinking with him several times after game nights, and he's an absolute joy. Wins a lot but is still great to be around, especially when he makes the fat fuck angry after losing.

> Stores TO, absolute bro teir, plays IW and DG l, always fun to play
> The Angel bros, BA guy is chill, haven't had much interaction with the DA one
> SoB guy, seems creepy but knows his lore
> Young kid who plays orks, has some cool conversion but not fun to play against due to rules lawyering
> Chaos girl, bubbly personality, gets on my nerves with GoT references
> EC guy, kinda bad at the game but fun to play against, forgets his rules though
> Oldhead, plays nids, has enough to play an apocalypse game by himself. Fun to okay, too apologetic about playing well
>Party boy, looks 25, actually pushing 40, plays nids. As fun to play as he is to drink with, one of the few people I talk to outside if the store
>The big black goth, plays necrons, friend of the party boy. Haven't played against him but I've smoked him up and drank with him. Bro teir
> Event Organizer, one of the few store employees that plays, know him forever, surpasses bro teir but his lists are well put together.
>Deathwatch guy, decent player and person, but runs way to many assassins
> Me, the weeb. Play Lamenters casually, Elder for tourneys. Notoriously bad rolls, and I'll surrender games when I'm way behind, pretty sure most people don't like me.

Kevin isn't a name user, it's a punishment.

>GK
>WAAC
I think I'd be beaten and thrown out of your LGS.

t. Alpha Legion player

IG player loved Bullgryn. What a champ. Tell him I like to run a lot of Bullgryn too.

> Store owner is an actual cool guy, likes to get take breaks and take a look in the game room to get a look since he loves 40k, never gets to play though.
> Myself, new Death Guard player 16 years old no fucking neckbeard, not obese. Constantly lost games before the whole deathguard line came out. But now I'm about average after the codex came out.
> My father is a real good player. Old ork player from rogue trader. Now plays primaris and runs guilliman every fucking game. But it's fun to play against him since he can take loses and not ever be upset.
> Fat, actual neckbearded Ork and Death Guard player. Best person to play in the store sometimes. Does not give a shit about your privy, he will shout across the room if you're talking about a rule you are explaining.
> Another kid plays there with deathwatch, ANGER ISSUES if he starts losing.
> Trans guy who plays emperor's children, kinda scared of him or her... or whatever.
> Now my favorite, this Tyranid player... this player is kind bad at the game and can't get rules for the life of him. He uses zoanthropes with 3 physic powers and uses physic barrage with them even if he will use his physic that turn. he also tried to use seventh edition rules with a formation card in the old tyranid start collecting. He's a war vet, so some mental issues can be explained. My dad and him play a lot.
> biggest tubby friend, the Necron player. Very well painted army, love to play him.
> Extremely competitive Eldar player, fun to win against, fun to lose against sometimes. ?Never gets upset himself though he just talks dice and list building techniques.
> Lastly motherfuckering asshole himself is the fucking neckbearded fuck who played space wolves and will argue with you even if he's wrong. Currently banned from the LGS. Got in a fight over in a game as I was like out 1/16 of an inch from Mortarion's rerolls. Re-rolled as he tried to hit me, wasn't even a competitive game. If you can't tell I hate this guy... A lot.

>who actively won't accept any reasons people hate Gulliman
literally me

Primaris lore is pretty cool tho. I dont understand how someone can look at 40k and say "this is Fucking sweet" but single out primaris and say "childish bullshit wow this is laughable"

I play with buddies at our homes.

>tau player that has gamed with me since we were 5, my greatest rival.
>highschool buddy who started with eldar then spiraled out of control and now has like 8 different armies
>he has so much shit that it lines the walls of his apartment
>his dad paints most of it, and builds us all sorts of badass terrain
>dad never plays but loves the lore, Sits in the back while we're playing and goes on about 40k wars as if they were actual history
>buddy who plays casually to get away from his wife and hang with the boys
>has necrons and ultras
>I play templars
>me and high school buddy write stories about our battles and have come up with extensive lore about our armies.

Beats hanging out in the shop with all the socially retarded neckbeards

>TFG posts

Details man! We need details!

>Threw a model at you for laughing at a failed roll

Whose model was it? WHAT model was it? There's a big difference between throwing one of his hormagaunts at you, and throwing one of your imperial nights at you.

self projection: the thread

>Old fella who has an Imperial Guard army painted like Royal Marines. Probably forgot to buy Bolt Action one day.
> Jolly fat CSM Khorne player who's friendly, funny and never sore about (always) losing
> CSM Slaanesh chad/low-key sex offender
> 3 guys who play Tau. I don't know them very well because fuck playing against Tau.
> 1 short, angry man who has a "Tau army" (aka: riptide, supremacy suit and a few other large FW mechs). This guy also has 5000pts of Space Wolves obviously. Very aggressive. Also can't stand losing any casualties despite bringing the cheesiest filth to the table.
> One eerily gothic (but friendly) Dark Eldar guy we never saw again.
> One remarkably optimistic Ork player who just plays for fun.
> One genuinely autistic person who paints his Space Marines like his favorite Naruto clan. Converted his Space Marine hero to have anime hair. Mixes various Imperial forces to include an Imperial Knight, some special snowflake inquisitors etc...
No Tyranid players in sight.


Do I need to specify they're all males?

It's because it flies in the face of a LOT of previously established lore. If they all had worse stuff/geneseed with massive problems a la Thunder Warriors, I'd be down with that. It'd even mesh well with the lore, less advanced mass produced near-Astartes with shit gear are shat out by the tens of thousands to bolster the Chapters.

Instead they're just... better. Fixed geneseed flaws, new organs, better armour and weapons, superior tech - not least with an easy way to access jet packs, plasma weapons and skimmer technology in numbers relative to their total strength with ease unseen by any Imperial faction other than the Custodes.

Fucking Primaris.

Or using a miniature catapult to shoot Warlord Titans.

... What Clan?

You have to be either fat or autistic to get into 40k.

I believe the autism is required for one to enjoy the below garbage tier that is most 40k lore

MOOOOOOOOOOODS

Fuck, the last one is pure gold.

> fit guy who loves and play khorne, pretty much this guy
> another fit guy who plays fluffy BT and nids, awesome modelling and painting, cares about the lore and makes campaigns
> a young guy guard/necron/deathwatch/renegade guard/csm lots of armies half painted, netlist and sometimes want to cheese
> a necron guy who netlist and doesnt seem to be focused on the strategy enough to win even with powerful lists, also doesnt bother to pain and all his army is still grey
> a mid 40 ork/eldar/dark eldar/chad marines/deathwatch who plays for fun not the best painter, but likes to paint all his models and that's awesome
> new ultramarine guy who is interested in harassing the opponent with op units, (un)fortunately he lacks the experience to be a waac player
> new nurgle player, dark imperium army, too soon to judge him
> waac imperial guard/ultramarines used to play 100+ conscripts on 500/600 pts games, clever guy on the moves and with optimized list, but no fun to play against
> tournament guy with eldar list, plays once every 2/4 months since he has other hobbies
> ork/space marine/imperial guard player, used to be a waac when he started with blood ravens, then he started to became fluffy
> crimson fist player, got married so little time to play now

we used to have a that guy waac space wolves but eventually changed flgs and became less that guy

>He enjoys building new armies too much.

Well it's why I'm poor.

What is it about space wolves that attracts the most undesirables

My entire game group is composed of angry old white men and autists. It is a litteral hell.

Most of the guys fit into a category.
>A slew of old guys who all play Marines and have been since 2nd edition, old school autism
>Some youngsters that play Guard, Eldar and Tau
>Fat girl who plays Dark Eldar, extremely horny, hits on every mildly attractive guy, more than a number have fallen for it
>4 or so tournament guys who are super into WAACfagging and painting well
>Fat tranny that put all their points into personality instead of looks
>Multiple skinny teens who don't really play, just sit around and look at games and occasionally talk

No, but once we got drunk and made out.

He threw a Carnifex at me.

>Bro-tier law student, plays Flesh Tearers 40K/Iron Warriors 30K, excellent painter
>Bro-tier regular, weeaboo but not obnoxious, funny, runs Salamanders 40K/Raven Guarg 30k, brings his sister to play Yu-Gi-Oh
>Guy who I think works at a bank, runs Orks and Nids - does fantastic ork conversions, super chill and a good player
>Guy who I know works at a bank, runs Deldar, gregarious fit and fashionable
>Cool kid who runs Scions IG with some Inquisition and Custodes on the side - new to the game, limited list, but getting better at playing it. Has some anxiety problems. Gave him some of my spare scions
>Dad of above kid, runs Tau, pilot, seems like a good guy
>Guy with a nid army, has potential but he makes a lot of tactical mistakes that gets him chewed. Frustrated easily.

I have made them all fear and loathe auspex scan and hellblasters/aggressors, but it's a great group.

What about you user? Are you an angry old white guy?

>All the guys that I played with are career men who want to get away from their wives or exmil that got into the game to blow off steam and deployment pay
>store is run by ultimate bro-tier guy who builds/paints massive amounts of terrain for his huge shop that he puts his life into. He'll let just about anyone come in and play and is always super helpful
>but there are some "that guy"s
>J is one of those guys

>Upon first glance, J seems like a normal guy: mid 30's, has a decent job, no neckbeard or bad hygiene.
>talk to him once or twice, notice how shitty painted his CSM army is
>literally looks like he shoved the sprues, glue and paint into a steel box with a live grenade and put whatever he pulled out onto the table
>play with him anyways one day cuz my regular group hadn't showed

>he puts a lot (and I mean a lot) of models on the table. I'm relatively new to the game at this point (early 6th edition), so I don't really question it at first.
>until another CSM guy (who I'll refer to as preacher) walks by halfway through our game and does a double take (it was a pretty evenly matched game at this point). He starts inquiring about the game size etc... and I answer with 1850.
>CSM guy #2 calls him out saying that he had way more that 1850 so J says to check his list (which he has on his ipad)
>Preacher and I go to his ipad and turn it on and the first thing that pops up is hentai.
>But like, weird hentai.
>like women getting raped by plants and appliances
>J glances at us and sees us seeing his secret sauce
>in a panic he runs over and starts swiping through the pictures
>each picture is worse than the last
>I've tried to forget much of what I saw but the worst of it was a woman getting raped by like, 20 horses.
>he eventually finds his list
>turns out he had 2500 points on the table, with some stuff still in reserve

more stories about J

Just realized how poorly written that last excerpt was, sorry.
I was in a rush to get stories of J out of my mind

>over the next couple of years, I pick up how fucked up J is. He hid it well though.
>I eventually realize that shop-keep only puts up with his creepiness because J buys so much shit.
>J pretty much pays for shop-keeps store alone

>anyways, one day some friends and I are playing an rpg with J included. Everyone is pretty cool with each other and my best friend Jacques (RIP) is playing too.
>Jacques (not his real name) was the ultimate bro who unfortunately went through some fucked up shit in the service.
>at the beginning of the game, everyone introduces their characters
>J goes into great depth when describing his character
>spares no details
>his character is basically a busty sex slave who lives only to slurp cawk
>Jacques and I are super stoked to see what kind of fucked up shit J is going to try to pull

>a couple of sessions in, J's sex slave corners Jacques' characters in a trap
>he tries to rape Jacques' character
>Jacques was prepared for this though and through some cunning and preparation rigged a trap for this exact scenario (to be honest, all of us had contingencies for when J tried to rape us)
>before the GM could describe J's death scene, he storms out of the shop
>we're all just sitting around wondering what's going to happen
>after a good few minutes of awkwardness, J comes back in looking much calmer
>walks right up to Jacques, leans down right next to his ear and says, in real life:
"I'm going to rape you"

>Jacques and I burst out laughing and continued to do so until J eventually left
>J is a pretty big guy but Jacques and I had walked away from a few scraps with all odds stacked against us. There was nothing J could do to intimidate us.

after that point, Jacques and I would occasionally sneak up behind each other and whisper "I'm gonna rape you" as an inside joke. Damn I miss that guy.

>Eldarfag who comes in with a huge bin of eldar every game and plays WAAC lists while claiming to play fluffy lists for his craftworld and doesn't like the narrative rules or power level so only tends to play points when given the choice and avoids narrative rules wherever possible because they are "imbalanced"

>The rest of the club that is totally chill and welcoming

I'm the eldarfag. I swear my lists are fluffy its not my fault I can't not include an array of units that are actually good D:

Dont have LGS, we play either at my place or local library

>teenager with autism, has a personal caretaker with him all the time, knows a fuck ton of about lore. Plays CSM, isnt that good with rules. Gets angry hissfits if he gets targeted on table but other than that pretty good sport. Try to help him to become better painter. Lives outside of town so only can come to monhtly game days we hold at library.
>friend I play with. Plays orks/GSC. Pretty fukken good painter and pretty awesome dude. Mostly play with him 40k and Heralds of Ruin. Been playing since 5th/6th edition
>me, pretty n00b. Got IG 2k army for 40k and starting build a new one. Want to get some Tau.

>friendly dark eldar guy we never saw again
uhh is that me, AGG? The abbreviation is the old store name.

>Autistic neckbeard who has way too much income. Owns a full tank IG army, full troll WHFB AND LotR armies. Only the ultimate cheese can satiate him.
>A cheesy chink who seems to own every army available, rarely painted. This is the guy who i played against the most when i started.
>Awkward lurker who constantly comes up to me and my friend to talk when we're playing. Seemingly no social skills as he has no qualms about stopping our game for up to 15, regardless of how much i imply that he's being a nuisance.
>Bro dude. A chill guy who plays specialist games, borrows his models for those who don't have any so others can play with him
>My friend, only plays with me because he hates strangers with a passion but on the outside is chill to them.
>Me, the Mordheim Fanatic, only one keeping that scene alive.
>A random assortment of other neckbeards I don't really know.

This was a few years back though, used to be my FLGS but i moved.

I am terrified of showing up at the nearest gaming group (two hours away) with a terrible army, not understanding their in-jokes, having no introduction, forgetting rules, and generally making things unenjoyable for everyone. I'd most likely go and then just sit in the corner watching everyone else play, with everyone wondering who that ugly new person in the corner is hoping that they will leave.

Why is a group so far away?

> fat friend, we are great buddies friends, but i am a bit little jealous of how easily and liberally he throws his money around with his models

> girl i play mtg with when nothing else is going on who plays only white. sometime give me a headake with lot of hot pink clothes sometime

> tau player man always eating cheese puffs but never gets fat

> very small chinese man with ork army who i am gret friend with, a lightweight who gets drunk off grappa very fast but a lot of fun to be around

> sometime indian man with his wife who play a duo spacemarine. very bro very polite and nice.

> angry man and his son haven't talked to them so i do not know if this is truethness about if their angry for actual.

> owner who is italian, very much good to me and gave me a free models sometimes, he is also a fisherman and he invites me for dinner sometime with other friends like the chinese man and we drink grappa and have a fun game of MTG sometimes


its like a big family its a whole lot of fun

Well there's no better way than musteting your courage, walking to the lgs/club, go to the nearest gaming table and start talking and introducing yourself. Maybe go there without your army if your too nervous. Grab a friend with you if you can. Or if there is a facebook group for the said lgs/club go there and ask for people to play with you.

>Half disabled sperg that spends his whole welfare money into many different armies: necrons, tyranids, wood elves, undead... He paints like shit.
>Iron warriors lorefag that talks too damn much and plays games while speaking to his gf on the phone (really frustrating 2bh).
>Cool dude that I think is a lawyer playing night lords. Definitely the best painter in the area.
>skitarii collector (he barely plays) that got me and many other people into the hobby. He is really helpful and caring with newbies.
>I play orks... And I'm one of the few ones in the store that likes playing blood bowl.

all the nearby stores went out of business due to a lack of customers. Even the one retailer that still has gaming tables for miniatures has taken 40k off their calendar, but there is a small group that still shows up each week to play I'm told.

I don't live in some rural area or anything, it is a large city. However in the past ten years the demographics have changed a lot, and people are now more interested in TTRPGs and MtG than in wargaming. I am too stupid and inept to figure out how to rollplay even though it looks like fun.

As someone who has no friends at all, it is very intimidating and I don't want to upset anyone or make a fool of myself. The next closest group is 3 hours away and according to their website does only competitive tournament style play with hard rules about playing with only miniatures painted to at least a certain standard. I try my best when painting, and thin the paints, but I don't think I meet their standards.

Are there any wargaming clubs? Thats more of a thing in commonwealth countries than the US, but you might be lucky. In any case you just need to get out there and see, if they don't think your models are up to scratch you'll only find out by going. When your there don't try to force your self into conversations or whatever, just try to set up a game with some one and gradually acclimatize. They'll get used to you over time and open up. Probably. They might just be fucked in the head.

Could you ask then if they know any casual gamers or know other not-so-competetive clubs? I hope you get to find some people to play with. You need to stop worrying about making fool of yourself and face your fears. Just try sending them a message for starters and see what happens.

The reality is that games like Warhammer attract fat autistic people like flies on shit. That's not to say everyone who plays 40k is going to be a fat neckbeard but your chances of meeting one shoot right up when you start a hobby like this. It's the unfortunate reality of nerdy hobbies like D&D, Magic and Warhammer

>bor tier older guy, plays wolves, owns the lgs
>chad looking student playing IG, nids and SoB since 4th ed
>new player, waac-end of scale, still decent games
>matt wards living embodiement who owns like the whole smurfs chapter but decent, only plays apocalypse
>some older guys with their sons, kinda silly
>me, sharks, da and ig, try to play fluffy lists, everything wysiwyg

Local games workshop here
>guy in charge of the store is kind of bro but also smug fuck when its about people not playing
>2-3 cool guys but who are powergaming like retarded
>one überchad who even brought his gf into the store and she painted stuff
>one oldfag who was always an ass but extremely bro tier and some other complete fucking ass
>both powergame
>2 absolute fucking shitters who are the basically the cumdumpsters of the store because they get raped off the field in 2 turns
>all oldfags of this old store's community died out because they were sick of GW replacing the person leading the store
>Im left with an elitist "HEY LETS TRY OUR TOURNAMENT LIST" hive where you either are a cumdumpster or a winner

I hate my local store its all tryhards and dick measuring
hell even the guy who used to be my friend tries to flex whenever he can because hes such a failure in 40k or other things so he makes up shit
i hate my place

Yes, well spotted. We're still waiting for the last things to arrive and making plans on where to start from. We're having trouble arranging schedules to start the work because he still hasn't got a new car.

Roleplaying or WHFB/40k? I can't fit it all into a coherent post, no way.

>Gorillaman
That was a good one, and fresh. But man does your situation suck. Tried talking about it to him?

just found this store in my province and it's titled warhammer instead of games workshop like all the others

explain this shit?!

>Competitive guy
>plays Necrons
>doesn't want to touch 8E
Gee, I wonder why.

The same happened to me (I live somewhere in France btw), it's probably because of the recent changes in GW's policies or whatever.

I haven't been to one of the LGS in town for some time because I was REALLY busy with studies for some time, but now things are getting more chill so I'll probably see how things go

I had this problem too. I literally knew no one, didn't know the rules, can't paint well. I went to a GW nearby and the only people that hang out a lot are the friends of the manager. So basically it's all their inside jokes, and stories about them hanging out and they didn't want to talk to me. I've been hanging out there for a little over a year trying to make my way in, talking to people randomly, asking to watch, asking for games and in general doing anything I can to interact in a not weird way. Now everyone knows me and seems to like me. I can pretty much say hi to anyone and get a game. So over all it's been pretty nice, but I'm still on the outside.

Point is, I think if you keep showing up, you can slowly show people you're not weird, just shy. It's weird and uncomfortable at first, and people are wary of newcomers, but people warm up with time.

>Fat bro-tier Nurgle player
Like father like son

I don't think he understands how distraction Carnifex is supposed to work.

>Me, new guy, started at the end of 7e like most of my buds that I'll list. Started with nids, moved to necrons cause 7e nids, now switch out playing them and alpha legion. I don't take losing well, but my luck/strategy isn't good enough to win a lot of the time
>Knightbro, runs his own small business doing computer work for people. Once bought 3 knights just because he could. Like me, got into it because of the lore. Doesn't play much anymore, prefers painting. Briefly got into custodes and thousand sons. Fantastic guy
>Youngbro, a good couple years younger than me and knightbro, still in high school. Started with age of sigmar, then did nids with me, now plays deldar. Enjoys being a "playground bully" as he calls it, but is a good guy despite that
>Kiddybro, young bro's middle school aged brother, mature enough to stick around and not be too left out. Constantly joked about being the youngest of our group. Plays SM/IG, not sure what chapter or regiment

Those are the close buds of mine, we also have:

>Grandpa, 70-something-year old who barely plays, but is an absolutely magnificent painter. We all wish we were as good as him
>That Guy is a 40-50 something year old man who ran jetbike spam Eldar in 7e and now runs death guard since morty came out. Takes breaks from the game every 10 minutes to smoke
>Manager is a late 20s lady, very good painter and nice person overall. A tiny bit overweight but not bad
>Kevin, not like a Kevin up earlier in the thread, but he does play blood angels. Sometimes helps manager out if she needs a day off. Super chill guy

Tourneyfags who change FotM armies every couple weeks. Not just buying a new army, but actually pawning their entire collections repeatedly.
Flufffags who read all the books, can't build a list to save their lives, and (most irritatingly) have a very tenuous grasp of the rules.
Chads who hold over 40k as the last remaining nerd cred in their lives, but have no understanding of tactics and get irrationally angry at losses.
Fedora-weilders who are pleasant enough to play against, but have terrible hygiene and scare away the chicks.

>>Eldar girls, two sisters who play together with a small task force that would be better in a Kill Team game, I actually gifted them most of their models. One is a semi-hippie super cool chick, she sometimes plays with my old Tyranids, the other is a super cute goth girl with very long hair and huge eyes.
tell us more

>got butthurt because we wont play against his FW
why? are you guys scaaaared?

>>Necron player who is a real mute and gets his ass handed to him every week but shows back up anyway (what a soldier)
he's just RP-ing his army

Me. Alone.

>then spiraled out of control and now has like 8 different armies

happens with everyone, sooner or later

vikings, beer, wolves, not respecting authority, unkempt beards and hair

...

>Plays Lamenters
>Likes painting.

You're okay, user.

>>Cool dude that I think is a lawyer playing night lords

>Lawyer
>playing NL

Made for each other

>"...more than a number have fallen..."
>"fallen"

>Shen Yun poster

Those cultists are fucking everywhere! They snuck in and put a poster up at my store after lying to my coworker that our MM said it was okay. Said MM showed up three days later and lectured our manager on unauthorized signage. They also did the same thing to a Starbucks.

There is this new weird dude that plays Blood Angels and post thumbnails on imageboards.

My group:

First Founding (2012)
>Great friend of mine, loves SoB but got tired after GW never throwing even a small bone to his army (this was before the new Celestine). A great DM for RPGs and has quite the imaginative mind. Lives in the city I'm moving to and I'll try to bring him back to the hobby.
>The weeb-est guy I've ever met. Played Tyranids and Blood Angels, but last year abandoned 40k for MtG. Is a nice guy to hang around, but loves to use overpower shit in RPGs. The most competent player we had. Our second place to play 40k. Fat.
>Our 8/80 resident guy, strong opinions all the time. Loves videogames and used to play IG, but now only collects/paints. Has AdMech, BA and UM minis. Richest fella of the group (has 2 GW army carriers and that all-paints GW stand). Best painter around. We used his place as our first spot to play 40k. Fat.
>Amateur sports judge that plays DA. Is left-wing, but luckily never brings up political stuff in our games. It's a bit hard to discuss rules with him. Got married, so barely has time to play anymore. Fat.
>SM player (but uses Dark Vengeance DA minis). A bit autistic, but gets the rules well enough. Is obsessed with the most elite army GW produces (played GK > SM > Custodes during 7e). The only one who ever showed any interest in 30k (Custodes, again). Started his LFGS, so has no time to play anymore; we play 40k in his store now.
>DE player. Suffered terribly under the weeb hands, but that was a good schooling. I'd say he's now our most competent player - managed to even defeat my Tau once or twice. Sometimes gets too stubborn regarding rules. Weeb guy moved to his place for a time, and it was the third place we played 40k. Chill guy to hang around. Recently moved to his home city, so we lost contact. Fat.
(cont)

>Another DE player, was my freshman in college. Also left-wing, but kept his opinions outside the game. Wasn't a really good player nor did have much time to learn. Sell his stuff to the other DE player.
>His brother, plays Eldar. Chose them because they were (and still is) the shit. our resindet WAAC guy - albeit he's not a bad choice to hang with. Stopped playing for a while, but now he's back.
>GK player that had a lot of recasts. He was the first oen to show us good painting. Stopped playing and we've never heard of him again. Was a pal of a BA guy that sold his stuff before we ever started playing.
>Me, the 'never settles with an army' guy. Started to play because of Dawn of War and started the club here. Began with CSM, then moved to DA, then to SM, then to Tau (after knowing about HH series). Now that I'm moving, I sold half of my Tau (will sell the rest next year) and I'll start a fresh DA army - as also a 30k TS in the future (30k TS is the my main favorite thing in entire warhammer). I confess I'm a bit rules-lawer-y, but recently I've started to relax more about this stuff (8e surely helped).
(cont)

Second Founding (2015)
>Tall, slim and bearded IG player. He likes the lore a lot and is one of the most interested in playing 40k of the new bunch. Sadly, has little time to play and money to get minis. Learns quickly with his mistakes.
>DG player. Played three times with us, I think; busy life. never bought a mini. Fat.
>(Another) GK player. He's an old friend of the first gen; always dodged our invites to enter the game. But after he got a job (he's a teacher), finally gave in. Chose GK because they seemed to be the coolest ones for him. Doesn't know English, so we got a Spanish GK codex (7e) for him. It's fun to hang around and never takes things too seriously.
>Necrons player - doesn't care about the lore at all, but loved their appearance. Bought some models, but has a pretty busy life. From all the second gen, he's the one that played most games.
>Orks player that moved from another city. Has great painted and converted minis. Knows how to play well. Also a busy person.
>Khorne Daemonkin player that used to play frequently with us, but life had other plans and he stopped playing. Fat.
>SW player; likes the lore and always try to get better with his stuff. Recently had to stop playing - dunno when he'll come back.
>CSM player that mistook our group for Fantasy (he even bouth some Warriors of Chaos Knights). Didn't play much to this day.

>You guys get cool people and I get a sadist that makes Titans appear behind lamps.
Well Tzeentch, it's your own fault for playing against Creed. You really have no one to blame but yourself here.

Learned about this from my local Geedub store manager (he sometimes hangs out with most of the players at a nearby restaurant and talks shop during the mandatory 1 hour lunch).
What you're looking at is the 'rebranding' of Games Workshop's storefront. Basically Geedubs decided it was time to make it a little clearer that 'no, we're not GameStop, or a general gaming store. We make wargaming models.'

He has enough money to do that kind of shit.
According to fat eldar guy and white scars dude, he once broke some new player's space marines and then threw money at the table while laughing. He has been banned from three out of the four places that regularly play warhams in the country.

What else would you like to know?
>Hippie chick is a biology student and a hugger, likes doggos and has ugly teeth. Is on an on-and-off relationship with some guy, she's super social and overall a cool person
>Goth chick is like, perfect. Petite, hair all down to her ass, works at a comic book shop, a small fox tattoo on her right thigh, kinda depressive but knows how to have fun, likes anime and vidya
>They're kinda poor, almost every single model they own was a gift from someone in the group

I play at home with my friends more often than I play at a game store, but I’m gonna do the same thing for them.
>Grey Knight/Ultramarine/Ork player. Newest member of our group. Obsessed with having the best of the Imperium, to the point he brings Guilliman and a squad of Custodes to almost every game. Only got Orks because I told him swarms are powerful in 8e. Loved the Primarchs. Not a bad player, though I cannot stand Primarch wank.
>Chaos friend. Really laid back and casual. Never throws a fit over something bad happening. I consider him my favorite person to play against, as things are much less serious and he runs fun lists.
>Necron friend who cannot into tactics. Let’s my Hormagaunts tie up his warrior squads without ever making them fall back, and he doesn’t seem to understand that he can keep characters safe by hiding behind other guys, so he always gets his C’tan killed turn one. Gets the most angry when things go wrong, but has mellowed since he got more into the lore of his army than the game itself.
>Imperial Guard/Admech guy. Best player besides myself, but we hardly ever play each other, due to us mutually agreeing Tyranids vs. IG is a slog to fight. Favors sitting in the back and bombarding with artillery. Consistently beats everyone besides me, whereas our games are usually decided by turn 2 and is more of a toss up.
>Space Wolf friend. Hasn’t played in months, hoping to get him back into it. Is good with strategy and list building, but has some of the worst luck I’ve ever seen. Still, a reliably challenging opponent.