ITT: Veeky Forums writes the most stereotypical, trope-filled Dungeons & Dragons adventure

Let's go line-by-line. It'll be fun.

>a dwarf fighting-man, an elf mage, a hobbit thief, and a human priest are all in a tavern, drinking their ale

>Each of them is sitting in a dark corner thinking about his/her dead parents when a mysterious stranger...

>offers a big sum to the next group of adventurers who can rescue his daughter from the cave of a local trol

>They'll have to hurry, because the troll is known to eat those he captures. If they're smart, they'll fight him during the day when he sleeps.

>One party member however "The Dwarf" insists there is no honor in fighting the troll during the day.

>the thief looks up from pickpocketing a barmaid to disagree, leading to a heated dispute

>The dwarf finally gives in after far too long of an argument, but plans to charge the troll's cave the moment they arrive anyhow

Ultimately, the priest insists that they must save her, as the four most capable people in the tavern, and his god of light and good demands it.

>The troll's cavernous lair is somewhere in the nearby woods known as the Forbidden Forest...

...but the forest path is blocked by the infamous wizard Bargle!

Bargle is just a poor misunderstood and quirky loner. All those burnt down orphanages were misunderstandings.

>But he's got several orphan heads on his belt right now.

>"Fools ! Don't you see that I, Bargle am not mad but am merely trying to protect the world from 'Adventurers' like you ? If I where not to slay these Orphans then they would have become adventurers like you and would bring only chaos !"

Bargle attacks the players by summoning... a pair of kobolds! “Ha ha! And now I leave you to your doom!” the wizard cackles, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Angus McStarkhammer raises his axe with a bloodcurdling scream and charges the kobolds.

>But before he can take the first blow a wolf ambushes him from the side, an spectral howling filling the forest

>The kobolds turn and flee, but it's out of the fire and into the frying pan, the wolves are far more dangerous.

>The hobbit thief tries to sneak attack a wolf only to roll a 1.

the wolf fucks the hobbit up its arse and op realises this story shit is gay.

>user is eaten by the wolves
>the wolves are closing in on the party

The priest and mage start praying for divine intervention.

>The mage suddenly remembers his training and casts Yudder's whistle of hells gate, which causes two of the wolves to run away in fear, and distracts the others for a moment.