Give me your best tales of Vampires from your games, Veeky Forums

>be me
>1.30 hours ago
>ST in v:tm game with newbies
>had a good time

preddy gud

He said to tell vampire boy to fuck off. Which, by the way, is better than wasting everyone's time while you show how "clever" you are by killing a pc five seconds into the game.

>wasting everyone's time
Actually he saved everyone's time by eliminating the bad player character immediately instead of waiting for him to ruin the game. Deal with it, shitbag.

>being That GM instead if just firmly repeating "No"

Good job, I guess.

>Talking to a Vampire King, diplomacy going wrong.
Rogue: "I'll convince him to turn me, as a show of good faith of our party, then while I'm experiencing the insane strength a new vampire has, I'll kill him! Then, because the vampire who sired me died, it should cure me."
>Res of the party is nodding
>Pally looks at me, still playing Vamp.
>Eyebrow cocked, "First of all, I dont want you, I want the fighter. Second, I can hear you because we're in a domed cave and it echos.
>Plus, Vampiric senses. Fuck off."
>Rogue whines about how it was ooc. It totally wasnt, he still had his accent.
>Whatever. NotWorthItEyeroll.gif
>Do over, so Rogue IC starts giving speech about how he will turn on party in exchange for the power of vampirism.
>Paladin "Well screw your treacherous ways" Crits him.
>Rogue whines. Makes a fuss. I swear, hes not usually that guy, but 10 minutes later we shut him up.
>So paladin 'faked a hit' to make it more convincing.
>Rogue goes up to vamp.
>Vampire King makes a long speech about how they can discuss treaties over his meal.
>How once he has a drink they can talk.
>How generally fatal his feedings are.
>For five minutes beat around the bush about how the vamp isnt going to turn the rogue, he's going to eat him.
>Paladin pursed lips the whole time. Fighter realizes after. Wizard is bug eyed, staring at rogue.
>Rogue talking about what his new vamp template is going to be like.
>Have to call session a few minutes later because rogue is now yelling that I just killed him without warning.

Dylan, you're not usually a bitch, but if youre reading this, fuck you. Dont talk shit, it was your fault.

A long while I joined a new Pathfinder game that was starting up with mostly new players who I didn't know. I was planning to be a paladin, but when I got there, this other guy I didn't know said he was rolling a paladin. So I talked with the guy a few minutes and he seemed to be pretty nice, not weird or neckbeardy at all, and I decided I would play a bard and be his sidekick type. So he was a gruff, socially awkward dwarf paladin and I was his super charismatic court jester style manager.

For a few months the game went super well and we had a lot of fun. Then we ran into a vampire. This guy was a mid-level vampire lord who actually hired us to get rid of some kind of monsters terrorizing the town he ruled over. We figured out eventually he was really a vampire with some glamour type disguise, and the paladin got into an argument with him where the guy was arguing that he wasn't evil because he protected his flock, and the paladin being all, "no, you eat people, evil is evil nah nah nah". So eventually the paladin loses patience and smites the guy, then the vampire grabs him and puts him into like an MMA lock or something to start sucking his blood while he casts spells at us.

So, immediately, the druid and the sorcerer, who are played by this real life brother and sister pair who were not very good at DnD and had never played before, panic. I think they were picking up on the GM hinting that we were super fucked because this vampire was higher level than us, or maybe they just spooked because they thought the paladin was done for, so they both bolt. The paladin is paralyzed or something, I don't know what sort of ability it was but he either couldn't do anything or couldn't do anything except struggle to escape. So it is just me, the fruity bard, and the rogue, who decide to fight this vampire lord.

Just tell the guy to leave before you even get there. If he's going to be bad enough to warrant kicking out, then just kick him out. You don't have to take time to describe his character dying if he never makes a character in the first place.

This dylan guy sounds like a fucking retard not gonna lie

>climb dilapidated ice tower
>find vampire coffin inside
>fight vampire
>me, a pally, grab her and drag her to balcony and sunlight
>She charms our sorcerer
>Sorc fireballs us
>I still hold on
>Keep her in sunlight until cleric goes down
>Push her onto balcony
>It breaks
>She falls, can't transform in sunlight
>Takes assloads of damage
>Ice and snow cloud from crash diffuses sunlight enough for her to turn into a bat and find a nearby cave to huddle down in

Alas, it did not kill her. We fought her twice more before she finally went down.

Nope, kill his character first, then kick him out. Deal with it loser.

>say no and stay true to your word
>remove player and find someone else
or
>allow person to pester you
>give in and say yes
>be passive aggressive and kill the player character during intro
>"surely now that player can't ruin the game because his character was killed instead of existing"
Hmm, one of them seems quicker for everyone involved and it isn't the one you're advocating for.

If being a dick for five seconds is what it takes to teach a guy how to behave in a session, then I will gladly do it. Everyone else at the table got a laugh at it, they knew I would be preparing something for him. And it worked, after that he got all "muh why do that" and then made another character, went back to the game and learned to listen to what the GM says.

>killing a character in a way that makes it clear that you are not welcome
>then banning them
>get a great story and get rid of your problem player
>passive-aggressive
Nice projection you weak shitty "person"

>five seconfs
>all the time he put into creating his char
>getting everyone together
>starting off the session

>>>five seconds

Yeah, nah, you're a cunt and that was classic That GM behavior.

I agree with this.

I am forever GM and just being inflexible about things you say "no" about is the easiest solution. They aren't your kids and it isn't real life, just saying no and meaning it is not going to really be the end of the world.

Nope, completely justified and I'd do the same thing in that position.

My bard was not very good at the damage. That was not his thing. And all our magic and healing had run away. But luckily, the rogue was pretty beastly, and the paladin had hit the vampire pretty hard with smite evil before getting grappled. So we struggled through several rounds with this guy, where I was healing the paladin as much as I could and occasionally stabbed the vampire, the vampire lord was healing himself by draining the life out of the paladin and casting magic at us, and the rogue was just standing there wailing on him.

Finally, the rogue drops this vampire lord, but he only manages it the turn after the paladin dies. We didn't have any more magic to bring him back, so we had to burn the vampire, take his shit, and then drag the corpse of our paladin out of there and go find the sorcerer and the druid hiding in a bush or something.

We kept playing for more than a year after that and did a ton more stuff. The paladin's player rolled up a barbarian and then later a fighter or something. There were a lot of deaths in that campaign, and by the end I'm pretty sure my bard was the only guy left who hadn't died from the first party. The druid guy I know for sure had died at least five times, because after the fifth time, the GM forbade him making a sixth druid with the same first name, and he was butt hurt about that for pretty much as long as I knew him. Finally at around level 9 we retired the game.

So in the final session I used all my gold I had skimmed off the top of the party funds for the past two years, and my Leadership feat, and I started my own traveling circus. In the last session I told the GM that I bought a gypsy wagon, and then I took out the paladin's holy symbol, which I had carried the whole rest of the game, and I hung it over the caravan door for good luck.

Fucking Christ, Session Zero is suppose to be when you and your players talk about the game and the characters and make concessions, not when you let your friend waste time making a character you kill in the first five minutes.
What a dick.

>>all the time he put into creating his char
His old char? Yeah he wasted it himself since I told him from the first moment he asked that no, he couldn't be a vampire.
Or do you mean his new character? Because I just brought some premade characters and let him pick one, and change whatever he wanted later on. So the only time wasted him was a few minutes of him complaining. I'm not retarded enough to plan a character's death and not have some backup.
>>getting everyone together
We didn't stop the session, nor canceled it, so what time did we waste on this?
So yeah, I acted as "That GM" for basically 5 seconds of the session, and the result was getting a reasonably decent player for the rest of the game. If you just kick out everyone who acts out you're basically going to loose all your players, so I prefer the teaching approach. They do something "that guy" would do, so I punish them accordingly, they learn from their mistakes, life goes on.

Stop throwing a tantrum. That Guy deserved it.

>Be me, larping since I was 15
>Human skirmisher, minor magic.
>Ambitions to be a bodyguard for a lord some day, make money, retire (Always give character retirement goals)
>Year 3, be a pretty good fighter, a god picks me as champion, only catch, is I would have to become a darkelf.
>Sure, why not.
>Never get changed back after, but whatever, it was for a cool thing.
>4 years later, fighting vampires, get hit by a bite attack. Kill it, but get cursed with stage one.
>Seeking a cure, but find out an evil got of disease is being a bbeg.
>End up on Sick Squad, a small party of people with various ic diseases because he can sense healthy people (Fallen god of healing)
>A lycan, someone with spellplague, an leper, and someone with magic syphilis (his fault, he slept with another dudes girlfriend, this was petty ass revenge)
>End up tracking the god down, and busting up his ritual to give everyone in the world the flu.
>Amidst the ritual is a giant cauldron with a thick orange liquid in it. (Vasiline, Tang, and strawberry syrup)
>During fight the god plunges weapon into it.
>Hits spellplague victim
>"PERMANENCY OF AILS!"
>Oh fuck, he was going to give everyone the flu forever. This will fuck us up if it hit us.
>Long fight, hit and run as he dips blade and fights.
>Block every shot, feel like a champ!
>We kill this god, putting him to rest. He thanks us, and apologizes.
>Gamemaster tells us all how we are now permanently affected by our disease
>Point out I was never hit, npc comes out and confirms, but whispers something to her.
>GM takes picture of me and shows me.
>Splattered all over in the mixture, it flung off when I parried and blocked.
>Got cool stuff for it, killed a god, and was an epic fight, so it was fine.
>But.
>4 years later I am still a dark elf vampire, and people think im trying to be an edgelord.
>Dont want to fix it because it was important to both me and my character.
>Tfw...

Get your head out of your ass. He might've been That Guy, but the GM went and beat him to it. No praise for that weak shit.

This is less a story about vampires and more of a story about how my players are fucking morons.

Okay, so the one non-moron player had to go home early, so the players were just going to do some shopping and then we would call it a night. Anyway, the players want to get their hands on wooden stakes, because they're going to fight vampires. However, this is Shadowrun, they're in a city, they can't just chop down a tree.
Anyway, they ask where to buy wood, and I list two likely places: an artisan's furniture shop, or Von Hunttlehoffen's Discount Vampire Hunting Supply Store

They went with Von Hunttlehoffen, because they're fucking morons. The first thing he does when they get in there is try to sell them a piece of the true cross, and yet they still trust him enough to buy stakes. Are the stakes real wood or synthwood? Who knows, they don't.

Spoiler alert, the stakes were synthwood. Now, you don't need stakes to kill a vampire in Shadowrun, so they still won, but they were very annoyed at being conned, even though it was absurdly obvious to the point where I almost burst into laughter at multiple points when they were going shopping.

He's usually fine, must've been an off day. But yeah, it was pretty fucking dumb

Nope, 100% justified, 100% hilarious, 100% warranted in every way. The only person harmed was the person who deserved it, all is right with the world.

Normally I'd agree but the player was already told repeatedly he couldn't be a vampire. When players don't take no for an answer it's okay to get creative.

Being a passive aggressive fag is never the answer. Full stop.

The player was outright demanding to be allowed to do something he had been plainly and repeatedly told he could not. What better solution was there?

Obviously the DM should've just let him play something game-breakingly overpowered because the player is always right.

Right?

My own experience with this sort of thing is in Adventurers' League. I've never had a player insist on this shit in a homebrew game. In AL, it's made VERY clear that you can not play an undead. In my homebrew campaign, I would never let somebody play if they behaved like that. I've never had to throw somebody out, but I've also never had a player be unreasonable to that extent. My secret is to just recuir from the local AL games anyway; in my experience, players don't demand to be allowed to do wacky shit like play Edward Von Count Dracucullen if their first experience was playing the tighter experience of AL.

This is some next level faggotry.

You just tell the player no, like a goddamn adult. That’s it.

What an unfathomable level of butthurt.

Reread the post. He had been repeatedly told no.

Still doesn't give the GM a pass to act like a child, user.

Sorry, murdering shitty characters is how adult GMs handle them, shortly before banning the person in question.

You can only turn them into vampires by fucking them in the ass

Don't you play with your friends or at least with people you like hanging around? Why would you do that to your friends? What kind or retarded dick are you that can't talk things over or just boot people from the table in the first place without some passive-aggressive shit?

>autistic screeching
I think it's pretty clear who the social pariah is here, stop projecting.

Is that what you take from my comment?
Really?

Yep

I'm sorry for you. Truly.

>Sorry, murdering shitty characters is how adult GMs handle them, shortly before banning the person in question.

just goofing around in a game of what we call LSDnD, in other words, anything can happen. anyway we had a level 30 something vampiric necromancer get gang banged for a solid 5 turns while the rest of us just watched

Probably the most fun I've had was an urban fantasy game (with very Japanese stylings) where one of the PCs - he was basically Arima from Tokyo Ghoul - ended up rescuing a vampire countess from cultists. My initial thought was that she'd be the sinister manipulator type, but on the spur of the moment I decided that her characterization would be more playful / flirtatious rather than going with the more cliched route. So as his 'reward' for saving her, she kissed him.

As it turns out (with a roll behind the scenes) she liked it. She liked it a lot. That's why when she became a recurring NPC, she kept flirting in a semi-serious way with the PC. The PC also rather liked her, but the player was initially worried that she was out of his league.

The really fun part was playing this basically gorgeous woman as sending signals to the PC. And (when you think about it) it's hard not to like the PC, who was incredibly skilled (women like men who are really competent), quite handsome, and an up-and-coming star.

(One more bit)

So this was actually really cute. You have her dropping plot hooks like "I want the PCs (including this guy) to be my bodyguard" or "I want this particular PC to be my escort to a ball." It made sense, since this particular NPC was a relatively important VIP. (Note that the other PCs had romances, too, but they're beyond the scope of this post.)

The funny part was that the Countess's sister started getting in on the action too, from a combination of playful jealousy ("Seriously, what does my sister see in him?") and from the urge to tease him, dropping hints like "You know, polygamy *is* allowed in our society...". There was an especially hot sequence where she was in a limo with him, and basically coming onto him, especially when she leaned in close and squeezed his knee. (This was rather more playful, though.)

Ultimately this came to a head, when the Countess revealed that she had an arranged marriage in order to keep her bloodline pure. The thing is, she didn't especially want to marry the person she'd been set up for (another vampire) and noted that the only way she could get out of it would be to:

a) Have another suitor.
b) Have that suitor 'run the Gauntlet' - i.e. He'd have to fight his way past the aggrieved's minions, then battle her fiancee.

That was basically the climax to the plotline. The PC had to fend off an array of assassins while fighting his way through the undercity, with the rest of the party as his 'seconds'. Eventually, after a climatic duel, he defeated her fiance (Who had the ability to take on the form of a knight in bone armor, with a blood-absorbing sword) by staking him.

So our PC woke up in the Countess's bed, where she was tending to his injuries (and wearing an entirely diaphonous gown). She sort-of-teasingly stated that now he'd broken her engagement for her, she wasn't sure what she'd do since she was getting more offers than ever. Of course, the PC took the cue and pressed HIS suit.

Then they had a lot of sex.

>had an arranged marriage in order to keep her bloodline pure.
That's not how vampires work. You're thinking of werewolves. Vampires are zombie werewolves.

Do you really think that the people who frequent this kind of thread have friends?

dumb pedoposter

>mfw this story is either completely fake or was extremely awkward if it was real