ITT: When you realised the game is going to suck

>My character is famous for not being known by anyone

please explain

Dude is playing a character that goes around, practicing his disguises, and generally not telling his true name to anybody, and keeping an extremely low profile. However, despite this, there are rumors and songs sung of this shockingly unknown and completely ordinary man that has done nothing except go around playing dress up and being anti-social.

Yes, I was just as irritated as you'd think.

Banksy

>Dark Heresy
>[main mystery they're investigating] is too small beans for an inquisitor, why the fuck are we doing this?
>Because the Inquisitor is busy a few solar systems away and has you guys to handle this for him.
>But why aren't we saving the entire sector? REEEEE!

>help all of my characters make a backstory for reasons why they'd be in this specific town to start our campaign
>Main event happens, altering climate and the landscape around them
>All NPCs are visibly shaken, some start freaking out declaring the end times
>Ask my party whats the first thing they'd want to do after hearing this massive climate altering explosion in the distance
>"Are there any brothels in this town?"
>"I just wanna get some pussy whos in the brothel"
>"Can I roll a persuasion check to get the tiefling to fuck me"
>"Can I roll a six sided to see where I cum on the tiefling"

That's why you start in medias res doing a thing as a party.

Make a stripper questgiver like VV in Bloodlines

>players agree to play an rpg
>spend nearly an hour building the character stats, item list, and back story.
>goes out of their way to avoid actually playing the game.

I know some people are averse to any kind of railroad or cliche.But why even bother.

"Okay, I guess no adventure today then."
Don't negotiate with terrorists. Don't bend over backwards trying to involve players who are playing hard to get.

>Send 1 paragraph, barely 4 lines of backstory
>GM didn't even read it

>my character sits in her room all day with her hand down her underwear

I actually got this once in a game of DRYH. Player apologized to me about it when I mentioned it this year.

He's gotten a lot more mature.

That sounds wonderful and I'm going to throw a generic insult at you for not thinking that the Famous Ordinary Man Who Hasn't Done Anything is interesting.

>GM demands an elaborate backstory
>Doesn't read it

- Hey user did you read the GM/setting chapters?
- I had a glance yeah, why?
- Cool, what does it say about...

I will reply in kind good sir, in that your opinion, different from mine, must be wrong and offends me on a spiritual level.

>Introduced to the party, DM has a DMPC that takes turn and he makes rolls for.
>His girlfriend is playing a human/hedgehog character based on that Sing Movie. (Her words)
>DM seems to be reading from a pre-generated story module.
Shit, I don’t man... Fuck it, it’s probably the only Shadowrun game in town. Push through and have fun.
>Gets to a bit where the place we’re at isn’t 100% word for word listed out in the adventure book.
>The GM spends 5 minutes flipping book pages back and forth telling us to hold on.
>Mutters to himself about there being, “No info, why would they do that?”
>Announces loudly, “I’m going to improvise! This is me improvising!”
Common man, at least put some effort into this. Can you really not just make something up on the fly? I get you want to play too, but focus on running the game during your time as DM.

>join campaign already in progress
>GM tells me that new characters start at level 2
>rest of the party is level 9

>Common man
Sorry you can't play with the Queen, man. Its GURPS only in her household.

>My character is famous
>for not being known by anyone.

>"Can I roll a six sided to see where I cum on the tiefling"

>teehee maccaroni

here's the doc my DM gave me. It's ALL the worldbuilding and setting info for the game I'm due to play in next

Seems pretty shitty fampai, but I mean it's effort. More than just about any GM I've ever had has put in. What's with the weird blacked out bits though? Did the CIA help design the setting?

>GM pitches a historical game
>Low power, generally not a ton of combat because we'd die like bitches, and is very open with the campaign's expectations

>Session 1
>Everyone getting into character
>Doing some RPing, settling disputes, all that good shit
>Guy rolls in late with a murderhobo that has no non-murderhobo skills
>Constantly talks about killing people and follows it with a creepy laugh
>Bitches about being bored while everyone else is having fun

Could've talked with the other knights, man. Could have bullied a character witness into speaking/shutting up. Could have issued a challenge or goaded someone into a fight to make it a trial by combat. Could have done fucking SOMETHING besides avoiding every other character, saying you have no reason to interact with anyone at the table, insulting others' PCs, and generally being a moody cunt because you made an inappropriate character after the GM warned you the concept wouldn't leave you with a lot to do most games.

Everyone else is awesome, but I know this dude is going to drag it down.

the blacked out bits are the bits that he wants to reveal when we start the game (rather than just deleting those bits from the document he sent us)

he's put all of this effort into designing HIS fantasy world, but not a fantasy world that would be, y'know, fun and engaging to play in

Always an issue with amateur worldbuilding. I'd like to think I mostly avoid it but that's probably just wishful thinking. I can at least say I don't fill my setting docs with details about civil legislature. Or name my major continents Dunkirk and Funkirk

You dun kirked up.

>civil legislature
Aw man, you don't know the half of it. My group and I are asking this guy for setting details beyond what we got here (for obvious reasons) and 90% of what we get is similar shit - details about the financial, legal, and political workings of his setting - things we probably aren't going to encounter in the short campaign we're supposed to be playing. The other 10% is lots of racist subtext and blatant homophobia.

I'm gonna tell him this

Begone, common man!

why would anyone live in dunkirk when you could live in funkirk instead?

Maybe they really like WWII?

The GM supposedly wanted to run a whimsical, humorous campaign for us (hence, Dunkirk and Funkirk), but as we run character concepts past him, he's quashing anything that doesn't fit with his political fantasy

They apparently really do.

Maybe he wants a silly-serious campaign where you all hold such prestigious titles as the Fun Czar of Dunkirk or the Minister of Silly Walks. House of Cards trapped inside a Monty Python sketch

I'll have to this investigate further. Right now, a lot his character-building guidance is "WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO PLAY AS A MINORITY? THEY HAVE NO LEGAL RIGHTS IN DUNKIRK"

Because it gives you an excuse to be angry and out killing people?

Wow. Has this dude only ever played bourgeois humans or something? I mean sometimes it's fun to be a violent revolutionary, or just have a valid reason to be gutter scum

>in a crime scene
>declare that I'm inspecting the rug
>"roll for it"
>succeed and lift the rug
>find an envelope and decalre I'm inspecting that too
>"roll for it"
>succeed and open the envelope
>find a letter inside
>"roll to inspect the letter"
>succeed and read the letter
>the letter says that there are stuff in the wardrobe
>delare I'm opening the wardrobe
>nothing happens
>ask what's in the wardrobe
>"roll inspection first"

I have the opposite problem.

>Low Power Level guy with superpowers
>have to fight gods and aliens who have minions that are a power level higher than we are

Did you speak to him about it?

Those GMs are the worst.

>trying to get into a dungeon, where the entrance is in a sinkhole in the ground
>alright guys, we have some rope and some trees around here, how about it?
>GM: Roll to tie the rope around the tree
>r_u_serious.gif
>fail at tying the knot because we are on our starting levels
>ok, hold the rope while I climb in
>GM: (You) roll to hold the rope, while you roll to climb.
>fail at holding the rope, but manage to climb anyway
>GM: You have a scare as the rope you're relying on falls down next to you in the sinkhole, but you manage to climb down safely
>fuck... we have one rope left though!
>do all that again
>dejavu.mp3
>this time, manage to hold the rope while other player fails at climbing
>GM: (You) feel the rope tugging after a while, as you lose footing. Make a strenght check
>fail the strenght check
>GM: (You) are holding on to the rope and fall down the sinkhole and onto your companion. Take *roll* damage
>the next hour and a half is spent trying to just get into the dungeon and the next hour and a half to navigate the starting area, with it's pit falls and unpassable, labyrinth-like rooms

Jesus. It's like a 14 year old young republican just took a crack at world building after reading half a chapter of a civics book

Oh, so it's more intelligent than any woman on the face of the planet?

Guess I'll have to take a look.

...

>pedophile calls anyone else in the history of mankind retarded

Good job showing that you are retarded sir fagalot.

kill yourself pedshit

...

that page 9 tho

>several characters die in the second session
>In a plot-based campaign (rather than location-based crawl where this would be fine)
This just tells me that the DM doesn't know how to balance encounters, makes terrible rulings and refuses to fudge them, doesn't know how to build things up, or should really be running a hex crawl instead but doesn't know how.

>there is no session zero
>the dm thinks a session zero is texting about character ideas before session 1

He's just making sure user is rollplaying.

You need to give me a Persuasion roll to see if he's rollplaying.

>not playing as a chaotic good slave who murders his masters

>slave
>good
Nice try tyrone

/pol/, ladies and gentlemen.

God damn, I really want to know what the redacted bits say now.
Playing mad libs in my head and trying not to go insane.

>muh boogeyman

that's /r9k/ ya dingbat

If this actually happened, the only correct response was to pack up your stuff and never talk to any of these people again. Either they are intellectually stunted 14 year olds or think they're being funny, either way you are a putz if you continue to hang out with them.

>I WANNA DOOO THEEEM

>Funkirk

>murdering your masters
>good

Just so you know, the censoring isn't done properly. user has only highlighted the text in black, which means that if you copy-paste the passage into Notepad or something (i.e. convert rich text into plain text) then you can read it clearly.

Settinganon, you need to replace the highlighting with █ or something! (Unless it's printed out, in which case it's irrelevant.)

At least the monsters will make you progress quickly

>not murdering slave owners
>good

Being a slave is a life of neutrality

>black
>not evil

honestly, I'd recommend you don't. The black highlighting is covering text which is mostly banal. The mystery makes the PDF even better than it is.

Or you just suck.

Yep, both myself and the GM, but he brushed us off. We gave some suggestions during the game and afterwards, but I'm not anticipating any improvements.

>I start a second, better fire. Out vandalize me will you? Not on my watch.
Yeah, that's when I realize that the campaign will suck.

>When the campaign starts with the PCs being unaffiliated with each other.
Nah, getting to know each other can be great fun.

Learn to have some fun kids

>t. That Guy

>Alright, what do you do?
>Player: I will gobnfljfm
>I'm sorry?
>Player: Oh, nothing

This went on for the entire campaign.

The other players and I were explaining that conflict helps motivate a character and make them fun to play, but he didn't seem to understand the point.

The redacted bits are just lore about the great rulers of Dunkirk - specifically, how much combat experience they have, and what percentage of the vote they got when elected.

Like I said, this guy is a player from a game that I DM'ed, so he's been coming to me for tips on using roll20, building encounters, and all that jazz. I was scrolling through the Dungeon Master's Guide and pointing out important sections to pay attention to, and when we hit the chapter for building an original story, he turns to me and says, "Well! I don't need to read this section, I already prepared the story."
>mfw

>and here are my house rules
OH BOY HERE WE FUCKING GO

How was he as a player? Was this level of autism apparent or did he keep it hidden?

Oh, it was horrible. It was perpetually and readily apparent - so much so, that my players and I faked the end of the campaign as a way to get him out of the group without being bitched at.

A couple of choice things he did in that campaign:

He wanted to torture a captured villain. I asked the other players if they were comfortable with torture being depicted at the table; they said no. This guy argued that torture was okay (and furthermore, that people should be comfortable with it) because the villain was a bad guy.

He trotted out the "it's what my character would do" excuse for using his spells to steal loot from players during combat. Or, he would stop fighting before the encounter was resolved and move closer to where loot was supposed to be, so that he could be the first to get it when combat ended.

He had no division between his character and himself as a player. If an NPC made a snooty comment to his character, he'd get legitimately angry and offended, out-of-character.

Oh boy. Why would you continue associating with such a delightful person? Especially since it's online

It's actually in-person. We use roll20 as a way to negate the need for physical maps and minis, and as a way to streamline rolls with macros. So, for every session, everyone just brings their laptop, and it's like a tabletop LAN party.

I am playing in this game of his because... well, part of me is honored that I not only got someone hooked on tabletop gaming, but that I got someone interested enough to run their own game. He's got a creative spark, and I think that should be nurtured. My early original content was also a cringefest, but everyone learns and improves by creating more. This guy deserves an honest chance at trying DMing out. I don't think any of the other players have the stamina to constructively critique his work the way I do, nor do I think this guy would take their comments seriously if they did.

Then, there's the other part of me that just wants to see the trainwreck of a campaign that is bound to happen. I've laughed out loud so much at Dunkirk and Funkirk and all that shit, and the game hasn't even started. The other players and I know what we are getting ourselves into - but just because it's a bad campaign, doesn't mean it has no entertainment value.

I kek'd

>Black slave
>not Irish slave
for shame

>Irish slave
>not Carthegian slave
Dedecorum

The obvious solution is for him to become a boogeyman and NOT be regarded as an ordinary man but as something sinister and as more time goes along the tales of his misdeeds grow more and more heinous.

That's very noble of you, user. If it turns out half as ridiculous as it seems like it will, then I hope to read the story here sometime soon.

>racist subtext and blatant homophobia
user, you know that real world cultures outside of The Current Year are racist and homophobic...don't you? Surely you aren't stupid enough to assume that Western progressivism is the default mode of life?

what point are you trying to make with this post

Not him, but if you're playing historical realism then it's relevant. If you're playing fantasy... then, sure, life could evolve such that homophobia and racism didn't exist. However, if you're looking for verisimilitude, then any reasonably-developing society would eventually come out with those sorts of traits. It's sort of inevitable.

underrated