I roll to intimidate. I say-

>I roll to intimidate. I say-
>Hold on. Let's see the result first.
>*fails by a wide margin, whether you're playing a d20 system or not*
What do you say?

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I'm gonna *voice crack* F-fuck you... up! Right, fuck you up! Buddy!

Hey you! I'll punch you so bad, it'll feel like an ouch!

I trust my DM, I won’t step on his toes. If I failed that bad, I can see my character being unable to say the ostentatious without laughing or fucking it up.

That's a nice face. It'd be a shame if my dad beat up your dad's face.

I [insert name here] will knock you all down!

>rrraaaaar rar!

High charisma, but still low intimidate.

Don't make me suck your dick.

Nothin personnel.....kid

>The Bar-ara!ara!-rian scoops you up into her arms and calls you adorable while aggressively petting your head.

I'm going to cut you, and I don't mean hair.

I recite the entire Navy Seal copypasta.

My GM always does it where you will have to roll, but before you roll to see how you did, you either describe the action you take.

If you're speaking, at the bare minimum you need to point out what you wish to say and how you wish to say it (respectful, arrogant, intimidating, etc) If you roleplay it out with actual effort, he will give you a bonus (or penalty) based on how you do that gets added to your roll.

So for example, I could give a really well done speech, and even if I rolled a 100, I'd still get at least a plus 20 or something to help mitigate the failure a bit. Keeps the randomness in a bit but we can fight it in almost any situation if we're willing to play it out.

This goes for combat too, a clever plan or mentioning what kind of strategy you want to do can help you even if you both your rolls.

>>voice cracks
>>accidentally call the enemy "mom"
>>stutter
>>forget what you were saying and repeat yourself
>>use a worder obviously incorrectly

"I'm gonna cut you so bad that... uh... that you're gonna wish that I, uh, hadn't cut you, so bad."

...

>Not speaking before hand
>Not applying situational modifiers based on the idea the player has
>Not filtering that idea's implementation through the roll
What a shit way to play

>threatening sexual acts is a 1
Maybe for you
youtube.com/watch?v=h7zTIlE5Rw0

>I'm gonna...
>Uhh.
>Hrm.
>Sorry, I'm just drawing a blank here. Can we just fight? Nothing below the belt, the wife and I are trying to get pregnant. And if you could avoid the face too, that'd be nice.

But then no opportunity for .

You're being a real asshole! You know what I do to assholes?
I lick them.

*grabs him by the throat* Back the fuck off?!!

"I'm gonna beat you off! I mean up! I'm gonna beat you up!"

"What the fuck?"
"He's trying to have sex with you, dear."

>You're chip outta luck

>DM rolls
>....

I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, GUY!

You ain't about that lifestyle, champ.

perfect

I swear if you mess this up, I'm going to fuck you!

Up! I meant fuck you Up!

Here's a better one:
>If you mess this up, I swear
>I'll fuck the shit out of you!

>I meant I'll fucking beat the shit out of you. FUCK!

Not a physics major!

>ST won't let me Stunt
Why are we even playing Exalted then?

I cam here to kick gum and chew ass.

...

"I will have you know that I!-- err.. didn't notice the solid slabs of muscle and foul looking attitude earlier. which of these four scrawny adventurers you want to smash first?"

If they don't let me speak first so they can apply situational modifiers, I immediately think something is wrong.

That being said, the dice roll is necessary because it means there is always some risk of failure inherent. If I say some really good shit and still fail, it could easily be "They respond to your amazingly hardcore and pertinent threat by getting zealous and deciding to give their life for the cause.".

However, it is ABSOLUTE bullshit to tell me that I'm going to fail my fucking delivery.

>"You stutter like a pussy!' xD
Is a gigantic no. The d20 (Or system equivalent.) roll is about X factor shit beyond my control that I couldn't possibly be aware of, and has no bearing on my own skill at performing the task.

Why do faggots like you even respond to these threads? Who the fuck are you trying to impress?

Why is intimidate linked to CHA and not STR anyway? It's not a measure of your personality or your vocabulary, just the ability to follow up on your threats.

I know I know we've had this conversation million times before that but aside from a few things like saves or combat, rolling 1s simply just rolling the lowest possible result on the die and nothing more. The total score and difficulty number is what matters.

Yeah, but the OP's scenario isn't "you roll a natural 1," it's "you fail by a wide margin" which is pretty clear.

By the same token, why are you responding to me? My answer is likely similar to yours: Because it's something that actually happens with regularity that fucking annoys me and it's not absurd that I say something about it. You can make jokes out of it while I bitch about the premise, we're not at odds or anything. You do you, but let me do me.

In pathfinder and probs in dnd too you can take a feat for that to happen, you can also use your fighting skills to show off and be scary that way.

Now all we need is someone to whine about D&D when OP didn't mention it and we'll be good.

>It's not a measure of your personality or your vocabulary, just the ability to follow up on your threats.
I thought really successful intimidation was supposed to mean you don't have to follow up on your threat.

That's a different thing. You need to be able to say properly that you could do it, in a way the guy will believe you.

Yeah, but I can think of plenty of kinds of adventurers who'd be able to do that without necessarily needing STR to prove it. For example, the sorcerer or warlock who could credibly threaten to boil your heart in your ribcage with a gesture or curse your family with a glare, or the cutthroat rogue who just has to remind you that he knows where you live, that no security system can stop him, and he owns some sharp, shiny knives.

"By the gods, I-I-- *Sneezes and a glob of snot dangles from my nostril*

Im not that other guy. I just mean that with STR you can inform people you can do stuff before you open your mouth

probably sth involving mockery

This was an unwelcome boner.

>what are circumstantial modifiers to skill checks

>In Pathfinder you can waste a whole feat on this making your STR character even worse than they already were

Thanks Pathfinder.

In Pathfinder you can roleplay using strength to gain circumstantial bonuses to your check too, without spending a feat. But idiots like the charops fags forget about this, because it involves ROLEplaying and a GM who actually reads the rules.

Binding skills to specific attributes is kind of silly anyway, fucking Traveller figured this out decades ago. If it make sense for a player to roll a specific skill with a particular attribute why stop them? Dark Heresy worked this out to after a while.

I detest that sort of logic.

A fly flies down your throat mid-taunt, making you hack and sputter.

But it's fun to tie half your skills to Strength and identify magical traps by FLEXing at them hard enough

...

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class...

I didn't, where from?

Sovietwomble on youtube, was a misspeak during one episode.

youtu.be/PaQzgF95Gv4?t=5m20s

"I-I'll hurt you if you don't do what I want!"

>Role-playing in my rollplaying? NOOOOOOOOOOOO

>If you roleplay it out with actual effort, he will give you a bonus (or penalty) based on how you do that gets added to your roll.

I wish this was mandatory. You know, actually roleplaying.

>eyes

...

much better

those are some bad roaches

I blame the Schools.

>Be bard.
>Intimidation
>Gm gots a quick hand.
>He'll roll before you, he won't tell you his plan.
>He's got a rolled cigarette, hanging out his mouth he's a bad guy, kid.
>He found a 20 sided dice
>In his dad's house closet hidden oh in a box of fun things, I don't even know what
>But he's coming for you, yeah he's coming for you

>All the other kids ....

>tfw no baneposting orc gf

Took too long for this.

>Y-You too...

>tell his character to say what he would say to intimidate him
>[as dm] roll deception
>if his deception is higher than the players intimidate (not perfect, but whatever if you're not lazy you can have them roll a bluff check) have him cower, but not be actually scared
>the player might let his guard down [dm could roll after the player makes his speech and then go "well fuck you intimidate him anyway" to straight up lie and set him up]
>the npc can now attack him when he gets close, subtly milk him for information by feeling out what he knows by letting him ask questions, cluing the npc into their latest clues, and any blind spots (if they player lets him live, the DM can get machiavellian and start planning new shit he doesn't tell the player about that uses his current knowledge to sabotage him)

Honestly it might be the best thing that happens in your campaign, if you know what to do

alternatively, if the player has him bound and he fails you can say "well I guess hes tied up so you can just do this again later and win eventually, we'll say you intimidate him next time and move the plot forward" and then just do the thing where he lets the player intimidate him, then the NPC weasels his way out of it and tells the bbeg what the player knows so he can set up honeypot type traps for the player

Also, another ridiculous DM fiat behind the curtain nonsense thing you could do

>let the player intimidate and wait for him to be about to kill the npc
>the NPC was working out of his binds the whole time (take 20 checks motherfucker, you were roleplaying the downtime the whole time)
>let the player kill him though, botch rolls if you have to
>make the player take a rest at the location, say you have to end the session or whatever, even just take a break and tell the character he can have short rest benefits just by sitting down in character for 10 minutes, and take an OOC break for like 30
>when they player wakes up, unbeknownst to them, the NPC actually got a sneak attack in on him with a blackjack and knocked him out, then used modify memory to implant the memory of the whole encounter, knocked him out again, and then you 'woke up' from the rest
>then you can have the bbeg set up meetings between high value NPCs, deliver the time and location to the PC via a spy who tags along, and then betray them at the last second for the bbeg

sprinkle in hints that the friendly gossiper isn't who he seems to give them some chance

Whatever I had intended, but clearly I don't do it in an intimidating fashion. You can make the fiercest speech and get no cred if you stutter and can't maintain a proper staredown. If my GM forced my character to say something retarded because of poor rolls he'd probably end up on the receiving end of a properly executed Intimidate check.

Just don't flex yourself out of the room.

What's the point of stats if you just fucking ignore them?
I'm sick of retards dumping all the mental stats and then ignoring rolling them because they're good at making speeches in real life.

>It'd be a real fucking shame if your mother found your body missing its spine!

>Why is intimidate linked to CHA and not STR anyway?
You have to know how to threaten them.

Hey Punk!...

It's a universal skill linked to both Str and Cha in Hackmaster5E.

Which makes sense, it's a skill on how best to use words, posturing, and physical appearance to intimidate someone.

If it was purely strength, you wouldn't need to say anything and it wouldn't involve any skill. If it was purely charisma, even a little kid could do it.

>Basing your actions and responses on the situation you character is in e.g. you failed an Intimidation roll, so what did Roth the Wizard do wrong?
>LOL ROLLPLAYING FAGGOTS

>Haming it up beforehand just to get a +1 or +2 to your roll.
>Ah the true roleplaying experience!

As stupid as describing your action before the roll is, this position is even more idiotic.

What was this show, again? I wanted to watch it ages ago but didnt gave time. Now i have time but I couldn't remember the name of the show.

As someone who watched both seasons of it, it's very meh. There's like a half dozen really humorous scenes at best and the rest is rather generic.

yuusha yoshihiko

"Gimme all your money or I'll suck your cock!"

The gamesmaster should be the one asking for rolls.

Players initiating rolls is the definition of "roll playing".

They should state their action, and then the GM can decide if a roll is warranted.

So if the player describes putting a gun to the subject's head, they might get a huge bonus to intimidate them, or succeed automatically.

>interrupting a description to make the player roll

A failed roll doesn't mean the pc acts like a goober.
It could mean the character miscalculated and whatever was said is met by an unintended response. I mostly run horror games, and I'm not a fan on critical fumbles in general. Most of the time, the players not getting the result they wanted is sufficient, and I don't really see much point in piling additional consequences on top of that.

>using retarded social roll systems

kek

Y-you too.