How do I get my DM to stop holding out on me? I know I'm ready for the next step

How do I get my DM to stop holding out on me? I know I'm ready for the next step.

Looks like your DM is a filthy mundane. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us sometimes, you just gotta do it yourself. Treat yourself to the Psychonaut's Field Manual, the Goetia, and some Aleister Crowley, then corrupt your friends to the wicked ways of the occult.

You're not, your characer is fuckind dead and you know it.

That's a filthy lie

Get out of here, Debbie, you're DEAD. You don't exist anymore!

No, NO! Not Blackleaf! You can't do this to me!

Nah, this is a master-apprentice system, you can't just teach yourself from nothing, it's too dangerous.

OP, find yourself a master to learn under, it really helps, I promise.

if you can't cross the abyss on your own you shouldn't have set out on the path

9/10 warlocks who interview at my tower can't even do the mass of the phoenix, and that's not including all the resumes i throw away.

education inflation is wreaking havoc on the industry

this comic makes me laugh every time. The joke's on chick though, clerics get spells at 1st level.

Basically not all covens are as welcoming and instructive as the lesbian dark magic one in Dark Dungeons. If your DM is holding out on you, then he doesn't want to share his secret knowledge and you're going to have to kill him, take his magic grimoires, and take his place. Best of luck - he almost certainly has powerful enchantments protecting him.

The most important thing to remember is no matter how advanced your dark mastery of the sorcerous knowledge within Dungeons & Dragons - you CANNOT cheat fate in a game of pure chance.

You misread it if you think he's saying Clerics don't get spells at 1st level IN THE GAME.

Have you made your DM an offering of a set of titanium dice yet?

>implying you have the personality for it yet
Keep tryin' scrub.

It's really fucking hard to find decent resources on magic because of the sheer amount of misinformation and the disbelief out there. Basically everything on the web is garbage, and everything that isnt, is semi-intentionally made to look like trash because nobody who cares to put shit on the web can make anything look better than a 90s webpage.

PLUS, there's the assorted groups trying to cover shit up as a primary goal. None of them even have to do much of anything, since all you really need to do to dissuade your average normie is use one of the two reasons above. Either direct them to some stupid shit like wicca, or something vaguely convincing to someone with no education, like le snek of wisdom, or Crowley, or just mock them for thinking something like magic is real as a grown ass adult, and they instantly either go balls deep or stop. It means that you basically need to be dragged in by someone eith a decent background, or at best youll have some bookshops where you can get rank beginner shit that's hard to learn from on its own. AND THEN, it's treated like a big secret in the new world, so virtually any American without a background knows nothing, even much/most of the very to hyper-wealthy.

So with all that, even retards like me who sit and explain how and why its so hard to get literally anything on magic are either blatantly ignored or just not found. And everyone else just gets burnt out dealing with normies all the time, so they begin to disdain them if they didnt to begin with. Your only real options as a curious normie are to either stumble onto someone knowledgeable and willing, or slam your head against a wall and hope you've got enough natural aptitude to be found by someone or something. And then hope you werent edgy or stupid enough to fall in with the wrong kind of shit.

Man Veeky Forums I got cheated. I got my fighter to 8th level and my DM just gave me a steak knife and a trashcan lid and told me to go have fun. I know the economy is fucked but still

sure, NOW they get spells at 1st level, but back when this was published, they didn't until 2nd level

REAL MAGIC

I understood just fine. I have actually read this one in its entirety. I was just saying haha clerics gets spells from the start. in reality I'm sure the author just took his base knowledge of the game:

spells
clerics
levels
BAWEVIL

tossed I'm some numbers because RPGs use those right? and like that comedic gold was made

What, were they just like field medics? How does a cleric not have spells even at first level?

They weren't medics at level 1. They were a dude with a mace. If they survived to level 2, they got *A* spell, singular. And if you wanted it to be a healing spell you had to pick a healing spell for the slot, no spontaneous converting like in 3.5.

You should go on /x/ with the other schizos

Nah you’re still thick as pigshit. The panel in OP is saying ”your character has been using spells in the game for a while, now it’s time for you to learn them in IRL”

>claims to be ready to really cast spells
>doesn't post his level
I bet you are nto even a cleric, faggot