Invent a mission that a group of cyberpunk corporate mercenaries would be sent on

I would unironically play in a game where the only objective was to pick up a corpsuit's dry cleaning, but we had to deal with all kinds of crazy unrelated cyberpunk shenanigans on the way through. It reminds me of that post user made a few months back where the GM rolled for some kind of "situational encounters" and some user fluffed it as an insane over-the-top action sequence involving one of the PCs getting hit in the head with a ladder being carried by a worker, then getting hit a second time as the worker turns around to see what he just hit.

if anyone could direct me to the archive of that post I would be very pleased with life in general.

Boss wants pizza.

What I think you said:
>A third party has acquired sensitive intel/footage about an important project of your corp and has gone dark; he plans to release the intel to the public. Find him, destroy the data, and take down the third party, dead or alive.
Did I get that right?

Find motherfucker, kill motherfucker

I imagine it like " Go find that one specific hobo and kill it not alerting anybody. Here is his social network accout and friend list. "

"This guy fucked my girlfriend. I want you to shoot a porno with his wife, in his house and have it done by the time he gets home."

>I would unironically play in a game where the only objective was to pick up a corpsuit's dry cleaning, but we had to deal with all kinds of crazy unrelated cyberpunk shenanigans on the way through.

I could picture this as a game about a steampunk courier service in an oppressive city. i.e., the players need to deliver packages while dodging street gangs, police officers, and other obstacles which might delay them.

Maybe the players get flying motorcycles and parkour skills.

Bust into the showroom of a tech/vidya expo the night before the event to sabotage a rival corporation's presentation with embarrassing videos of the CEO, incriminating evidence, a list of defects and flaws of their new product, etc. Also get your hacker to rev up the scandal post-event in a cyberwar against damage controllers and shills

Who invited Kingpin to play Shadowrun?

A major corporation has just released a new line of high-end, non-sentient security robots that are poised to revolutionize the industry, with the entire line of them set up to be shipped out in a few days time, all over the world.
Problem is, they've been hacked into and the company is unwilling to delay the deliveries.
Find the hacker, and trash his shit.

Why not get corp PR to run the smear campaign instead of one merc hacker?

Because it's cheaper and if you fuck up they can disavow you as a rogue fanboy, and they're doing their own things behind the scenes but need someone from the societal fringe who better understands cyberculture to curate a more believable infowar campaign. Not to mention OP said you WERE their militant branch. Because the campaign is ultimately about the PCs you fag. If they don't have a hacker

To commit various forms of economic and domestic terrorism to help push along legislation that is beneficial to the corporations.

> Extract X from Y
> Place X in Y
> Find X, take it to Y
Those are basically your three main missions. Just change X and Y up, add flavour, and sprinkle twists and quirks on like seasoning.

Don't forget
>Remove or destroy X

Steal this important thingie from an important place owned by important people without them realizing it's been stolen.

give me your organs so I can turn you into a robot

That's a good twist on an old favourite user, mind if I use it?

It's not that new. It's the same smash and grab you see anywhere else, except you leave a counterfeit behind or are otherwise very artful with your paper/data trail.

It's literally the old Indiana Jones trick, just revamped for the nearfuture

Drive a truck carrying valuable material from point A to point B, in return for a cash payment. The trick is that the corporation actually managed to get the truck and its cargo insured for more than it is worth, so they intend to make money by losing the truck in an attack. The PCs get hired because they, being PCs, seem unlikely to actually deliver the truck to its destination safe and sound, and the route has been leaked to bandits/rival corporation goons. Their boss is not happy to see the party arrive in one piece, but will grudgingly pay up to get rid of them.

>Run an insurance scam over the players' heads
Yo that's dirty.

You and your team are the city's most wanted gang of terrorists whose current objective is to assassinate an idol whose music holds mind control powers.
Because that's the game OP's pic reminds me of.

It is just an excuse to manoeuvre the players into a fire fight that is very difficult to avoid, and it lets their employer betray them (for the sake of tradition) in a manner they are unlikely to see coming or necessarily even notice. Also, not an original idea.

Give -target- the worst time of their sexual life.

Robot tank got loose from testing facility and is on route to Mega-opolis. Intercept, stop, and do not damage the goods.

The executive's daughter is going to an arts and film festival. For the next 48 hours, the PCs are her personal bodyguards (alongside her usual retinue) and must protect her at all costs.

This could actually work. Imagine if the drycleaning included some compromising lingerie, and a bunch of gangers is trying to take it so that they can blackmail your boss. You could play it as straight-faced or hilariously wierd as you like.

Make false harassment accusations online for patreonbux

two companies are merging in order to expand their sphere's of influence. their flagship product under their new branding, chosen by public polling, will be the revival of a limited edition product from over a decade. as a result, the single remaining copy of the handwritten recipe for the world's most popular brand of soft drink is going to be moved from their corporate headquarters in Tokyo to their new main production facility in Sao Paolo via private cruise yacht.

it's a 500 passenger cruise ship, 12 decks tall. the trip is estimated to take about two weeks, during which time the crew will be holding a private party for their shareholders. security is hidden among the guests, and the location of the recipe is known only to three people on board- the courier, the captain and the COO.

This is good. Mind if stolen?

>ALRIGHT FELLAS, LISTEN 'ERE
>MY FAVORITE NEWS-STREAMS'S IN THE CRAPPER. ALL OF THE REPORTERS GOT WHACKED BY TWO-BIT TIT-SUCKIN' MALONEY AND THE EDITORS GOT REPLACED BY A BUNCHA SCHLUBS MORE CROOKED THAN A COP CAR WRECK
>IF YOU WANNA EVEN HAVE THE HONOR A' MAKIN' DOUGH ANYWHERE NEAR THE LEVEL A' WHAT THE SECRETARY SNIFFIN' MY BALLS MAKES, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE DAT DAMN NEWS-STREAM REPUTABLE, Y'HEAR ME?

A local street artist is planning a public art demo. The corp has reason to spspect she's a mercenary who's been sabotaging recent operations. Find out who she really is and what her angle is.

I had a favorite potential Shadowrun campaign story arc that I never got to play out that staarted with some Japan Corp bigwig hiring the group to steal a Katana from a murder exhibit, being told only it was a sword that had incredible cultural significance to japan and he refused to see it on display anywhere other then his home country, preferably in his own collection. The catch was that it was a maramasa and all the legends of the cursed blade needing blood to be be shed are true post awakening. And just to garenteed that the blade gets misused by someone, some local yakuza decide it is a great prize for a sword loving crime boss around the same time.

Are you low rent mercenaries I outsource my easy work to? Or expensive contratrators with a proven track record of deniability and success.

Low rent> High rent> kill all the scientists in my company who are due for bonuses and I have insurance on their loss of expertise on. I will either short change you. Or if your party is rude, I will retire your team by trapping you in an airless panic room while you are disarmed, as you wait for your payment.

>"Retire" highly-paid professional black ops team because they got snippy with you when you didn't pay the bill
Also, that's a rather macabre objective. No one in the company would trust you, and no one on the street would trust you. You're a really shitty Johnson, and it's a wonder you still have your job.

Are you some pleb who mops floors? I'm the CEO my bonus is dependent on cutting costs and my term is nearly up with the board. If you pull this off my bonus goes into tier 3. You could glass the continent I am on after I'm gone. Men of violence are literally everywhere, you are human trash who can't sell. Paying you for a one time job is economically immoral. I get richer by keeping your money. Sure there is a risk. All business is risk management. But I won't even be in the building. I'll be playing golf. Should you survive the accident will be blamed on others, maybe my head of security. I would never invest in your company, profit per dollar must be terrible.

A corp specializing in cyberware, robotics and similar fields has completed the first prototype for a full-body cybernetic replacement (like Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell). Another corp wants this military-grade cyberbody so they can create their own comsumer equivalent as a luxury good for the super-rich. Corp 2 hires the PCs to reach a secret contact within the first corp and smuggle the body out of their territory in a very narrow time window to the custody of the second corp.

Surprise, surprise: the body is already occupied by someone who was previously in a coma, and they wake up partway through the op dazed, bewildered and heavily armed. They want to return to their old life and potentially become a soldier of fortune themselves.

"Faggot took my shit, go get it!"

My child is a whiny bitch. Kidnap them and beat some character into them

Oldie but a goodie.

A crowdfinanced mission to find dirt on the execs of an entertainment company that just destroyed a beloved movie franchise.

>not having room service bring it to you
pleb

BABADOOBA, BABADOOBA

Steal thingy, copy/edit thingy, replace thingy (or fake thingy) as if it was never gone

Amen.

A cult of priests hire you and your gang to pave the way for their master (an undead Dragon) to usurp one of a weaker Mega Company so to compete with the bog boys. Do you except the offer?

Meant to say "Big Boys" sorry for the awfully written post.

being an escort on a corporate expedition similar to the Serpent and the rainbow, Adaptation, or Kong Skull island. Corp is looking for valuble plant,mineral,animal in some remote and dangerous place. Or serving as bodyguards to a new facililty/mine/well thats is being constructed on lands the locals are up in arms against. Kinda like having escorts for contractors building oil wells in the middle east/Africa for western corporations.

Product testing-maybe testing a virus that makes people crazy on a certain population, testing out new hardware/guns.

product research- corp pressgangs you and "nerve staples" you and your team to force you to do research, take phone calls/sales calls etc...

Corporate espionage- corp wants you to embed and infiltrate another comepting corporation in order to lower their market share or to steal/sabotage some tech the other corporation is working on.

Vetting employees- you need to vett, track/investigate a someone who is inline to get a new promotion, or put into a position

Field research- corporation has you encounter various groups and buisnesses with the purpose of scouting out anything that might be worth investing in, stealing or sabotaging

Guerilla advertising, or underhanded marketing schemes like poisoning a population so they have to buy a cure, or blowing up a bunch of old houses so they need to use x corps building materials to build new homes.

If shadowrun, that's terrible. If not, it's even worse.

These actually feel like corporate opps, if a bit goofy and over the top.
Kinda getting a Paranoia vibe

convince a shareholder to either sell his shares or to keep/buy more of them

stage a robbery so they can report it as a loss during tax season

steal a bunch of shit so the corporation can boost their profits in Q3 and make themselves look good to their shareholders.

>stage a robbery so they can report it as a loss during tax season
This would actually be pretty fun.
Get in, looking as pro as possible, cause as much superficial cosmetic damage as possible without breaking anything expensive or hurting anyone with corporate health insurance, steal these heavy-looking empty strongboxes, evacuate to the warehouse where you can smuggle them to the car crusher next door to dispose of the evidence.

Spoiler: It's a real robbery, Mr Johnson is actually Mr Smith.

Easily enough done. Just gotta keep the PCs from insulting high society.

heres some corporate jargon maybe build around those

CEO
CFO
Board Members
Shareholders
Product testing
Product research
product design
Mergers and Aquisitions
Accounting and Payroll
Marketing
supply chain logistics
quarterly meetings
presidents and vice presidents
human resources
Policy and Protocols
Building Administrator
Team Lead
Custodial/Janitorial/Environmental control
Investors
Project Manager
IT
monopoly
price fixing/gauging
hostile takeover
tax codes
laywers on retainer
retirement/pension
IPO
stocks and bonds
Market research
business retreats
team building exercises