Sargon had neither rival nor equal. His splendor was greater than the myriad suns...

>Sargon had neither rival nor equal. His splendor was greater than the myriad suns. He crossed space from the galactic east. In the eleventh year of Neo-Akkad he conquered the western Milky Way to its farthest point. He brought it under one authority. He set up his wormholes there and ferried the west's booty across on fast starships. He stationed his biomorph enforcers at intervals of twice five light years and ruled in unity the planets of the galaxy. He marched to Andromeda and turned Andromeda into a ruin heap, so that not even a single star still shone.
How will your PCs deal with the intergalactic Neo-Akkadians Veeky Forums?

My players are the children of a colonist who left his homeworld of Ur-Chaldees over a century ago at the behest of the one true God. They will keep their faith.

same way everybody else does. Chariots.

This is the canonical depiction of the gith in my DnD game. They were destroyed by an even more powerful space empire of illithids. Now only ruins remain, which the PCs loot for ancient alien hypertech.

Like we'd tell you, Anita.

Isn't the canonical depiction the other way around? The Illithid cosmic empire was ultimately brought low by the rebellion of their gith slaves, and now both of them fight in the astral plane and/or travel back in time to try and prevent one or the other from winning?

:D

We endure.

that was fast

Checked for something related to Carl, was not disappointed.

Call in the Space Mongols. Sure, suffering under the rule/oppression of Neo-Genghis Khan wouldn't be great, but it'd be better than this egotistical prick.

What would the Space Mongols ride?

>western milky way

Nigga do you even geography.

I'd suggest Basilisk war droids.

His empire rides upon his shoulders. No man could rival him and his army, so we remove him and deal with his army now without a silly youtuber at their helm.

>muh youtuber
KYS

we send Neo-Gilgamesh agaisnt him.

Not bad for some fatass from Swindon.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

I roll to seduce his daughter.

Have you seen her? I wouldn't even rape her.

Well, um, it's really hard to see the details here. I'm a sophisticated man, I like her poetry. With enough booze anything goes.

Fucks sake guys I like Carl but stick to the OP's historical parallel please.

How would the PC's be expected to deal with him? Me personally, I prefer to play the moral mercenary type. I'll slit throats for money, but that money goes straight to family and dependents. Does he pay well and honour contracts? I'd offer him services. Does he lie, cheat and genocide for giggles? I'd offer discounts on hits on his stuff. Extra bombings, a free assassination for every third job, goody bag with expensive looted tech, that sort of thing.

Sargon of Akkad ruined Sargon of Akkad.

>Like we'd tell you, Anita.
Can you please explain this joke for people who aren't incels?

I'd tell you to neck yourself but you don't have one fatty.

"Sargon of Akkad" is the social media handle for Carl Benjamin, an anti-SJW/skeptic/whatever he calls himself youtuber. Famously he triggered Anita by attending one of her events and just sitting there, quietly.
Got big during GamerGate at first, recently got even bigger, sometimes called "the leader of the skeptic community", something he protests.

Sickeningly English.

so fucking true kek

/thread

Unironically true from all the retards ITT.

Shoulnt it be "sickeningly british"?

that looks more like "sickeningly brutish" to me

nah, he's just sickening

His wife's daughter*

...

British are not a unified people.
The English are the snobby, arrogant lot that want to rule everyone else, a trait not shared by Scots or Welshmen.
I have a feeling that Sargon is against EU because Britain doesn't get to call the shots, like the English do in the UK. The kind of attitude that doesn't register that UK hasn't been very relevant since WW2, and even then it was other people that saved them, not the other way around, as they like to imagine themselves.

found the soyboys.

Don't apply that attitude to all Englishmen. It is mostly the fucking upper class cunts. The average plebs don't really have any say to what the fucking elites decide to do.

Doesn't Sargon come from working class though? I remember him mentioning that he was living on minimum wage. I'm not too familiar with British class system.

His parents are working class that managed to pull themselves to sorta middle class. One of the reasons why he despises the modern left seems to be the fact that the modern left doesn't really like the working class, they just hate the rich.
Typical university leftists are a good example of that. They fucking HATE the "rural and suburban retards" who are for most part, working class people.
Sargon hates those bourgeois lefties because in his heart, he is a working class boi.

Can we please get back on topic? I don't give a shit about cancerous e-celebs

>even then it was other people that saved them

Would I be right in assuming that you're American?

Fuck off, and learn how this site works before making a thread. You brought this onto yourself.

Giant space bikes?

Thanks user, I only knew that when someone posted "Anita", it meant that they had a hard drive full of Pepes and a long list of reasons for how it's everyone else's fault that they can't get laid, so I appreciate the explanation.

>sometimes called "the leader of the skeptic community"
Dafuq?! By who?

Can you explain this post for people who aren't soyboys?

SARGON
AND AKKAD
AT TENAGRA

So you are totally clueless about everything?

First off, I didn't make the thread you sniveling little shitbag. Seems like you're the one who needs to learn how the site works

Second, this isn't a classic blunder, learn2history

Third, I'm sick and tired of threads getting derailed by retarded internet drama

It's a bunch of monkeys throwing shit at each other, and quite frankly, I'm tired of it

>soyboys

Stop using that word it sounds retarded

Please fuck off /pol/ and let us talk about stupid space shit in peace.

Nope.
Polish.

>First off, I didn't make the thread you sniveling little shitbag.
Then why are you whining?
OP made a mistake by formatting his thread in such way that it was bound to be derailed. He was either foolish, or intentional in this.

>Second, this isn't a classic blunder, learn2history
This is precisely a classic blunder.

>Third, I'm sick and tired of threads getting derailed by retarded internet drama
Nobody cares about your fee fees, faggot.

>It's a bunch of monkeys throwing shit at each other, and quite frankly, I'm tired of it
Just walk away from the screen then. Nobody forces you to be here.

Seems like I know how to make you upset, kiddo.

>Pls stop triggering me!
Why don't you cry on Twitter and then attempt to sexually assault a woman about it, soyboy?

Admitting lack of knowledge on a subject is a strange way of making yourself seem superior.

>someone makes a one-off joke about Anita
>"""male allies""" get utterly tilted over it and derail the thread
Kek

Remember, friends. Keep /pol/ in /pol/.

They can't control themselves. Though at this point, that shouldn't be surprising to anyone.

>people start discussing the politics of a youtube personality
>other people complain
This is what actually happened senpai. The thread is right here. You don't have to invent a narrative.

>Then why are you whining?
I told you in the fucking post! I'm tired of threads constantly devolving into retards shouting at each other like fucking children

>This is precisely a classic blunder.
No, it's not. you would know this if you did a simple google search

>Nobody cares about your fee fees, faggot.
You seem to care plenty

Anyway, I know for a fact that I'm not the only one on Veeky Forums who feels this way. Lots of people are fed up with this shit

I'm not offended, I'm just annoyed

Half of the things we used to talk about are now off limits because retards like you derail the threads into /pol/ shitposting and petty e-drama

>Anyway, I know for a fact that I'm not the only one on Veeky Forums who feels this way. Lots of people are fed up with this shit
Oh do you now?
Is that why instead of ignoring the trolls, you're feeding them and helping derail threads even further like a dumbass?

Don't go using the 'royal We' when you can't back it up.

Kys board police.
You ain't in charge here.