When the DM tells you that you can do the thing

If it's something I generally avoid, it's probably combat - it always feels that avoiding it is the best way to advance the story, and we get into combat it's cause we screwed something up with the people we're negotiating with. Combat always feels more demoralizing than empowering to me

Burn the motherfucker down

I get to be the center of attention as my party sneak away.

Roll to seduce the Raven Queen

IM GONNA FUCK THAT DRAGON
GONNA GO FULL DONKEY FROM SHREK WITH THAT BITCH AND MAKE HER MY WAIFU

Heres the roll

Allowing the party to build a permanent structure/own land.

Even if we have to fight to clear the land, pay taxes, get attacked constantly, become an easy target... at least I get to stand my ground and protect something that's actually mind.

Playing in a haunted mansion campaign. DM allowed me to be a 700 year old NE Elf serial killer who has lived through several wars. Was a self taught Rogue (read as surgeon)/Alchemist who learned through experimenting on either soldiers during war time or on civilians during peace time.

Called myself the good doctor. Also never fucked over my party and my party had no idea I was a serial killer. Planned to reveal it at the end and "betray" the party at an opportune time where I would be a threat but they would be able to defeat me for dramatic purposes.

*mine, dang it.

Murder a setting important NPC.

This is not something I will do without reason and, should my PC find themselves with solid justification (self defense, defending someone they care about, revenge for an injury such as assault, reneging on an important deal, etc.), if the DM allows it I take it as a sign they care greatly about player choice mattering.

In a recent game that has been more or less lighthearted adventures in almost industrial revolution fantasy land my PC, an aspiring merchant lord and current glorified freelance mercenary garbage noble, took a job from a member of the human continent's largest religious organization. This man known to us as Brother Thomas hired my PC and the others to accompany him in finding a member of his order who had run away. After finding her in a cave, coming into conflict with her guards, and questioning her (to no avail as she remained silent due to holding true her vows to the order), Brother Thomas declares with no pleasure in his voice that he intends to kill her. I attempt to talk him down but leave the cave after he makes it clear he will not change his mind. My PC sits in the snow outside the cave waiting for Brother Thomas to exit while the others head towards our carriage which we let a mile or so away. After a brief discussion about all that happened my PC has a mild disdain for the main human religion and would conceivably wish Brother Thomas dead if he ever saw him again. To put this in a bit of context my character is also somewhat of a runaway so being party to hunting down and slaying someone of a similar recent history does not sit well with him.

Light a forrest on fire with napalm.

Marry the dragon and initiate a romantic subplot

>do the pose
>scream ‘secret police open up!’
>break down the door

be a player for once

>can flashstep/Shunpo at will
What system allows this and what build so I can do it!

5e with xge ranger but it's not technically shunpo it's portals

I think an elf monk in 5e can get to super high speeds, add in some magic items for invisibility and you're good to go

Wait, XGE ranger is basically the UA Ranger; what's the specific mechanics? I'm playing a UA Ranger right now, and I'd be extremely interested in getting this, it fits the edgelord and the DM's plan for him.

Xge only has archetypes
Planeswalker misty step

When he allows me to take all the Gold for my shiny things pile

What, Ethereal Step from the Horizon Walker? You can only use that once a short/long rest.

If it actually is Planeswalker, I can't find the subclass.

>PC in a superhero setting is magical, has the opportunity to world-hop
>she still doesn't have a familiar
>ask to go to a fantasy setting, steal a dragon egg, and make it my familiar

that thing is gonna hatch in like 500 days and it's gonna be great

I can fuck the DM.

Also in this scenario, the person I want to fuck is the DM.

>Monologue
I try to avoid doing it, but I love it so much.

>interrogating the bandits/thugs/assassins/enemy soldiers actually fucking works for once

Whatever I've been working toward for the last X in/out of game months.

Planning to burn down an entire city to kill a Silver Dragon right now. He'll get bonus points if he lets me play this during the event
youtu.be/5rTwEhWGkyk

As a DM I allow this to work every time, and generally don't have the enemy fight to the death unless they're actually devoted to their cause/fighting wholly defensively.

Makes them reconsider what they're doing when the level 2 recruit is peeing his pants and begging for mercy.

Doing him in the butt

You sack of shit.

Actually play a fighter or paladin instead of being shoehorned into cleric or wizard because I’m still the only one who understands prepared casting.

One day....

>Character is a dimwitted fighter whose only true desire is to do something heroic to redeem himself
>One of the first adventures, decide door-smashing is his job exclusively
>At one point encounter a temple with *gasp* trapped doors
>Get to a crossroads with two doors. One is the true way, the other will drop rocks on the party
>Tradionally, a party would try to disarm shit and go through both doors
>Some parties might even use magic or something to determine the right path
>Not Arenyrr, the Door-Smasher
>We smash doors and door accessories
>Choose door
>Wrong door
>Everyone except sorcerer passes their check
>Sorcerer is nearly downed
>mfw

T'was not the final time Arenyrr nearly got an ally killed, either.

HIT THE MONSTER REEAAAAAAAAAL GOOD

Free-action Shapechange when I would otherwise die. THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM

Here's a thought. Was Malevolent a witch who could shapeshift into a black dragon, or a black dragon who decided to shapeshift into a fair Lady to stroke her own ego?

Wasn't she a fairy? Wasn't she not invited to the thing because everyone thought she was dead, and that's what she was mad about?

Huh, so she is.

Raise an army.

Yes

>Werewolf
Make "that". "That" being whatever highly illegal destructive device it is this time.

>Dark Heresy
Use as many mods as logic allows

>Deathwatch
Put my Raptor optic on my Autocannon (which I was using as a heavy sniper rifle).

Clobbering Time!

I don't know if it's the maximum you can reach and it probably isn't, but our groups Tabaxi monk level 15 can move for 220 feet in a round if he stands still for the next one.

Let me play the wookie, or the normal guy.

Playing the weirdo in a group of normals or playing a normal in a group of weirdos is always the best.

Light a fuse and block the exit.

Fucking this.
''But that'll be a bad idea, you'll become a target.''
Listen up nigga, we're settling here.

>Listen up nigga, we're settling here.

>''But that'll be a bad idea, you'll become a target.''
Saves me the walk.

Have a swarm of minions! Just 10-20 or so, not an army or anything.

>playing Anima
>strength 20 which according to the rules means you can lift *anything*
>I can boost my strength to 25

And that's how the villain's evil tower was destroyed by being thrown at the moon

STOPPING SOME NO GOOD BULLIES

source for comic?

Actually in that boat right now.
Im the only guy and a dwarf in a group including a 3 foot high moth girl, a dryad in all but name, and a human princess wannabe.
only 3 sessions in and already the call me the rational one. Strangely Enjoyable.

>moth girl
Good work, some random group.

Masturbate. I'm the DM

Trump crunch with fluff

>pyromaniac noises

>ride a chandelier like an old movie swashbuckler
If the GM mentions a chandelier, I always see if I can't engineer some situation to use it.

Damn that is a good deal

Plot twist: his wife is a hambeast and you're rolling in for a 100

What about in the many situations where it's not a matter of diplomacy?

Bandits/Outlaws who are dead set into robbing/kidnapping? Animals? Unthinking Magical Beasts?

"ここは私にまかせて先に行け!"

Let me play Not!Megumiun

>Alright fine, you can equip your pesant crusaders with auto guns
>Roll a 1d100 for new crusaders
Now that was a fun campaign

Plan for three sessions and then breeze through the challenge as the previous legwork is not invalidated by a twist

Gain soft power.
Making contacts, starting a business or god help me a town/kingdom just makes me fully erect.

It brings in so many fucking plot hooks, gives you so many more options than just hit things with sword/fist/mace/stick/dick and actually gets you involved in the world setting.

>tfw I will never know this feel
My GM takes a seemingly sadistic pleasure in making sure I have absolutely no contacts at the beginning of a campaign and throughout it. Order of knights? I get thrown out for a crime I didn't commit in a subplot that will never resolve. Make friends with the captain of the guard? Assassinated. Bust my ass doing shit for the king for virtually no physical reward? He gets assassinated also.

Every fucking time.

You play Shadowrun too?

Find a better GM user.
Pic related. It's a mock up of my character making the headlines in a worldwide publication because of some shit he did involving using his company to take out one of the worlds largest organ traffickers, storming his base (An old USSR Gulag in Siberia) and handing him over personally to the UN for war crimes.

>tfw your character gets tortured by a psychotic organ trafficker but manages to overcome it by having a complete breakdown and ends up screaming the poem Invictus at the top of his lungs, then bites part of the guys face off
Great game. Right fun.

Activating my dillation field on my BT assault and using his chapte ability. Pretty much kill anyone on the charge with the field active.

Spending an Infamy point to heal myself between every hit of an Automatic burst to my face

God, Black Crusade is just cheese central and I love it

That's weak for Dark Heresy/Deathwatch. Try Repeatedly electrocuting and riviving a captured Broodlord in a high-end medical facility, so that the repeated death-shock sends waves of psychic backlash through the Genestealer cult's hivemind at regular intervals to make them easily identifiable and killable as they rampage through the Hive.

Do you get flurry of blows after the extra attack as well?

Because that's a lot of punch user and I'm fully erect thinking about it

Mutants&Masterminds 3e.
Just take a few ranks in Teleport.

Drive the Soviet Submarine.
Or dance. My character always finds an excuse to dance.

Last session it was standing on top of the dwarf wizard's shoulders to pass as a cult member

He let me play a way of the four elements monk without a ki cost for my monk spells. The rest of the players thought it was cool.

I am the avatar.

I feel your pain, user

Roll the dice.
I'm a man of simple pleasures.

>Playing an Evil character for the sole purpose of having fun being an evil character
>But not fucking over your party
>Allowing your party members to defeat you in battle so you and everyone involved has fun doing so
>Being a good sport
You're a good nigga.

Patrick Rothfus is that you?

Damn, pokemon looks better from when I was a kid

Assuming 5e
IIRC you only get one bonus action per turn and therefore only 1 flurry of blows

Though I did have a DM who let me homebrew a monk archetype that just punched a whole lot, I think at my best I was attacking 9 or 10 times a turn including flurry of blows.

5e tabaxi wizard lv 5 lv 2 rogue, lv 2 fighter
Mobility feat, long strider spell, jump for safe measure, haste, swift action, action surge. Tabaxi swiftness

200 feet movement base. Move action, bonus action, standard action, haste action, action surge standard and bonus action all as movement

Grapple with my thighs, so I can dedicate both hands to my weapon and deliver the beatdown to whatever poor fucker has the misfortune to be leglocked beneath me.

Use grapple rules with a truck to resolve crushing the Nemesis against a parking garage support.

For a bunch of people who want others out, /pol/ sure does refuse to take the hint they aren't wanted here.

youtube.com/watch?v=rmXsijnOODQ

She was a fairy, but she wasn't invited just because she was a bitch.

Not him but as a DM I rule that you can duel-wield Monk weapons using normal 5e rules and still either use the Unarmed Attack given at level one or Flurry of Blows on top of that. Also you can expend more than one ki point to add more attacks to the Flurry of Blows (two attacks per ki point spent). There is no upper limit to this besides the number of points you have to spend.

>This shows up on my playlist as I'm typing this
youtube.com/watch?v=vO6xfji-a-c
Like pottery

steal the sword of the literal incarnation of war as we pass through the layer of reality between physical reality and the layer of platonic forms because a wizard fucked things up and now the layer of metaphysical meaning is bleeding into physical reality and we got caught up in a metaphysical incarnation of war itself.