Twist-the-cliché game

Let's have a little fun teeg.
>Post a short fantasy cliché or trope, something that exists in every bullshit campaign
>Others ad a short twist to it
>the goal is to make the cliché as interesting as possible

I'll start:
>a vast desert

>a vast desert
made of inert nanomachines that were going full grey-goo until they were deactivated and they could theoretically wake up at any moment.

>adventurers guild

>adventurers guild
No one can leave the building because of a curse. It's starting to get cramped and no one knows what to do

>adventurer's guild
"Adventurers" on their own are seen as horrific to ordinary townspeople - wanderers with ferocious power that leave destruction and death nearly everywhere they go. Adventurers' guilds are essentially "adventurer towns" - societies made by, for, and of adventurers, as nearly everyone else sees them as monsters.

>corrupt vizier

>corrupt vizier
The king or empress or whoever is in charge is completely aware of the corrupt nature of their advisor, but keeps them around anyway because they're efficient and useful in that way that only a psychopath or cold pragmatist can be and sometimes that's the point of view you need when dealing with equally merciless reality.

>20+ different races of non-human humanoids existing equally with humans and being commonplace.
Hard mode, explain the furry races without resorting to "A wizard/crazy god did it!"

>20+ different races of non-human humanoids existing equally with humans and being commonplace.

Humans breed like rabits and can live everywhere while other races are picky.

The furry races evolved similar to Humans, but instead of from primates it was from other animals.

>There are super powerful wizards sitting in a tower somewhere, but they can't help and the sniveling level 1 retards have to save the world instead.

>There are super powerful wizards sitting in a tower somewhere, but they can't help and the sniveling level 1 retards have to save the world instead.

The wizard is the one who caused the world ending threat by accident while experimenting for fun, and is too busy covering up his involvement to help.

>the bad guy you just defeated was holding back a bigger threat, you fool!

>There are super powerful wizards sitting in a tower somewhere, but they can't help and the sniveling level 1 retards have to save the world instead.

Use of magic on a large scale intrinsically weakens the barrier between planes and invites even worse tragedy. Every mage who comes close to unlocking the big secrets of magic either realizes this or sows their own doom.

>Magical healing exists but some reason people still practice herbalism and non-magical means of healing.
Hard mode: None of that "magic is rare" shit. If a level 1 PC can learn it, governments can train enough healers to form a healthcare infastructure.

>the bad guy you just defeated was holding back a bigger threat, you fool!

The bad guy you just defeated wasn't actually holding back a bigger threat. He was just a proxy or "scout" for the bigger threat. And though you may have defeated this weaker version, the true evil has found the defenses of your realm... lacking.

>No new question because still stands.

>the bad guy you just defeated was holding back a bigger threat, you fool!
The threat is you.

>Magical healing exists but some reason people still practice herbalism and non-magical means of healing.
Magical healing is basically crazy gluing a person together and numbing their pain so they can still function, only actual long term care or natural healing can fully mend the body.

An overuse of magic healing can create tumors and/or other kinds of deformities.

>Only the chosen one can stop *insert plot device here*, no matter how powerful everyone else is compared to them.

>20+ different races of non-human humanoids existing equally with humans and being commonplace.
Magical radiation is rampant throughout the land and the various beast-folk are random mutations, as are monsters.

>Magical healing exists but some reason people still practice herbalism and non-magical means of healing.
All magic comes from the Other Planes. When a wizard casts a fireball he basically opens a very small portal to the dimensions of magic. This usually isn't an issue, but when handling biological materials, the Other Planes send their weird monster organs and mutations. Basically magic healing is very risky because it's fusing the body with otherworldly beings.

>There are super powerful wizards sitting in a tower somewhere, but they can't help and the sniveling level 1 retards have to save the world instead.

Magic is just probability manipulation, the sniveling level ones are discreet pawns in a chess match between the wizards and the forces of evil, chosen specifically because they were to pathetic to be taken notice of.

>Only the chosen one can stop *insert plot device here*, no matter how powerful everyone else is compared to them.

*Plot device* belonged to an ancient highly advanced civilization and it has a genetic lock only *generic hero* has the heritage necessary.

>Only the chosen one can stop *insert plot device here*, no matter how powerful everyone else is compared to them.

The prophecy mentions a "chosen one", but really the god who made the prophecy didn't have anyone in mind and whoever ends up saving the world just conveniently gets the title afterwards. All according to plan. Fucking Azura

>Retired Adventurers never being Kings or anyone important despite basically being demi-gods.

Magic healing pumps life juice energy into any living thing in its area of effect. This creates a serious problem if the wound is infected. If not treated properly, you'll be juicing up some super bacteria in your patient.

>Retired Adventurers never being Kings or anyone important despite basically being demi-gods.

To much competition, there are thousands of retired hero's out there.

The only reason adventurers get to demi-god level is because of enchantments, demon pacts and magical items. Everything magical has a price and at the end of the adventure, the magic starts to collect its debt. Demi-god adventurers end up sitting in cave, bound to the spirits of their magical axe.

>The forest is filled with bandits.

>>Retired Adventurers never being Kings or anyone important despite basically being demi-gods.

Turns out Jack of all trades demigods cannot beat specially trained guards/demigods forces created and inherited by the royal family.

> The coins are made of precious metals.

>they are precious because they are mined from slain sentient golems.

>The forest is filled with bandits.

The bandits are all "undesireables" from the Kingdom's ethnic purges, and the forest is the only place they can avoid being hunted down by the Kingdom's enforcers as they stockpile stolen weapons and supplies for their upcomming coup.

Adventurers don't just have wanderlust, they're literally cursed with it and unable to settle down. It's a curse that a lich levied against the entire world which has existed for millennium -- adventuring opens up the gateway to great riches and thrill-seeking, but in exchange, your body will literally wander off without your consent controlled by his magics if you stay in one spot for too long. Attempts to cheat it such as ruling by proxy or puppet and sending messages to the person DO occur, but the superstition nature of many cultures in regard to the curse makes it a dangerous game, and fear-driven peasant rebellions are almost always to be expected in the unfortunate event of the shady deal coming to light.

Orcs are always chaotic evil because reasons.

>The forest is filled with bandits.
Magic has led to a post-scarcity environment where hardly anyone needs to lift a finger, but societal values have yet to catch up and wealth and food distribution doesn't account for the unemployed and underemployed masses. The forest full of bandits make their livings preying off a tiny village that overproduces everything it makes, but the villagers are still angry about their stuff being stolen, so they send adventurers to deal with the bandits, paying with wheelbarrows of deflated gold pieces.

>Unicorns and virgins.

Unicorns are moral assholes who are so rare they can't get any and because of that force their views that a good woman is one who abstains from sex.

>Orcs are always chaotic evil because reasons.
Orcs were created to oppose the LG Kingdom of Heaven. The angels have decided to wipe the slate and replace people with a more perfect race, but guess who has your back against the birdies. It's 'ya orc boys here to fight for freedom and eat baby cherubs.

The vizier is the good guy pulling strings to prevent the decandent shithole of a caliphate from collapsing so it could oppose a coming invasion that only the vizier knows about, he is calculating, manipulative and secretive but so is everyone else at the court, he is just better at it

No one can ever turn back from the call of adventure. The pull is too strong, even if youre a crippled 80 year old man you will want to keep walking on on all fours, to see whats beyond the next hilltop, to meet new friends and find ever rarer riches. Powerful adventurers eventually disappear beyond the borders of the known world to wander unknown lands and become myths.

Double twist. Turns out its just that easy to pick up a blade and a cheap bow and rob some fools, especially with nonexistent law enforcement so banditry will never disappear. No mystery here at all.

Orcs are the mad max style survivors of a great magitek empire of knowlegde, hope and progress. They are all missshapen and mangled because of biotek expriments gone wrong. Their mental faculties are actually all right, they just rather get shitfaced, get into scraps and pillage because its easier than facing the grim reality and they would rather just party on till extinction.


The coins are all made out of precious metals. Too bad the dragons have hoarded them all centuries ago. Everyone uses paper money nowadays, supported by a robust banking system.

Oh no, we're out of cliché's!
>A tomb filled with mummies that come to life when the treasure is stolen.

They are all incredibly grateful and total skelebros because they were cursed to be eternal guardians of a cursed relic.

The treasure is a totem fabricated by a cursed people who are doomed to stay on this mortal plane for eternity after death instead of ascending to the heavens. The totem gives them a modicum of peace. Taking it away unleashes the curse.

Rev up those clichés user.

>tropes being flipped on their heads

not Veeky Forums, but if any of you want to see tropes being flipped on their heads and made awesome, play this game. It's a goddamn masterpiece.

>a vast desert
Tidal wave hits the party. Watch out, y'alls at a giant's beach bash.

wind elementals are living under the sand, making the desert practically and ocean, but all wind is coming from below

>dragons are greedy

the dragons are hoarding gold to prevent greedy humans from getting too rich and starting wars over money

>weebshit
No thanks. Try /v/.

...

It's less a guild and more a form of registration, anyone who starts getting too strong must sign up so they can easily be tracked and a closer eye kept on them. Any who resist or refuse are shunned from the kingdoms and put down as soon as possible.

The vizier is entirely corrupt through and through, however they have such a strong loyalty to the ruler personally that every move they make is done to protect them and theirs. They are just willing commit atrocities, make deals with anything and leverage their position to indulge themselves in teh process.

They are mutations caused on purpose in an attempt to create the next step in human evolution. It was and is entirely sanctioned by the governments of the world utilizing materials that cause mutations and attempting to guide it through scientific means.

The level ones are setting out to save the world from those wizards.

The bad guy was an advanced scout sent to the plane to see if it was worth conquering. They had been sending back messages that it wasn't because they want to take it for themselves, but now that the messages have stopped another force is coming to investigate.

Magic healing comes at a huge cost to the body and it's natural processes. Over use can easily lead to mutations or tumors as these processes are interrupted and in a way corrupted by the magic. Thus herbalism and non magical means of healing are safer and used in conjunction with magical healing for certain cases but it is not recommend for long term use.

There is no actual chosen one, anyone can stop the plot device but those who don't want it stop have spread falsehood trying to discourage any from trying.

All are sent to a paradise that none may return from, if they do not wish to go the guardians of such place themselves move to eliminate them, any who die have their soul bound to such a guardian to keep telling cycle going.

>le ebig subversion of le tropes!!!! so unique!!

The bandits are actually a resistance forming against an invading army, the army simply has enough spies to make others believe they are just that.

The metal is actually corrupted by forces that live near it underground. These forces latch onto the metals and feed off the greed they spawn, rewarding those who follow the call by making them feel happy.

They were once a great civilization that reached too far into the outer realm and became tainted by it. Even now the taint passes down through their genes causing a bloodlust and borderline madness.

The treasure was actually put there to trap their entire civilization in stasis.

Their greed is spawned due to a curse that forces them to horde wealth in order to survive. As they grow older their wealth must grow in proportion or they are afflicted by this curse and twist into a shadow dragon who only desires destruction.

>The King is a mad tyrant

Only according to the corrupt nobility backing the resistance forces. In reality he is rooting out traitors to the country who would gladly sell the kingdom to the empire next door.

>Girl with mysterious power.

marvel is gay, be original and kill yourself ok?

So they moved from hording physical treasure into diversified market investments. Their work in pharmaceuticals has had virtuous knights attempted to stop them for years, but their investment in paying off the king's house means they are shielded from the law.

Her power is the result of a temporary buff granted by a potion which was confused by the apothecary with her day's medicine.

>Caravans that travel along a certain road out the city are disappearing.

The caravans exist only on paper: one of royal ministers is using the 'disappearances' as cover for transporting the goods into his own pockets.

>>Caravans that travel along a certain road out the city are disappearing.
The road isn't a road at all; it's a secret portal. The "merchants" are interdimensional beings who wish to study the inner workings of this dimension, and are constantly taking weird shit that is not common to their world so they can study it.

>charming bard who is loved by everyone

...including the art critics. Because no one can honestly appraise her performance, she became plagued by crippling self-doubt.

> The Church of Light starts a crusade

Isn't actually charming, just gained an item or power to subtly influence people into liking them magically.

The crusade is aimed at a horde preparing to invade, they hope to muster up enough support in time to head the horde of before it reaches the innocent.

>The dragon has kidnapped the princess

The crusade is against people overusing light. Light that does not come from the sun or stars is a finite resource in this world, and using them too much can put the Church's authority in jeopardy. Because of this, people start turning their lights off at night to avoid persecution, and accidents involving elderly and children skyrocket.

The dragon is old and wants to die in a great battle against a honorable warrior. He kidnaps the princess so a brave knight will be his last opponent.

>random average guy gets transported into fantasy world so he can be the chosen one

the princess is trying to escape her abusive father and asked the dragon to help her
>hero has to pass a series of trials to get the maguffin

>charming bard who is loved by everyone
Is actually a member of a mysterious faction/race that isn't known to anyone. His/her good looks, seemingly heroic feats and fine etiquette makes people trust them.

>There is an underground parallel civilisation of surface species (Drow, Derro, etc)

Isn't actually a shitposter, is just uncreative and gets upset when others can think outside of the box for fun.

Isn't actually a chosen one, it's all just an experiment by a highly advanced civilization to see how someone from another world would react and if the average can be pushed to greatness when encouraged or if it's just something in only certain people.

The janitor accidentally broke the mcguffin years ago, but to cover it up the trials are now basically impossible death traps to drive people away. If no one can actually get it, no one has to know.

>No one can ever turn back from the call of adventure.
Nailed it. Keep 'em coming, Dante.

>>The forest is filled with bandits.

They're retired adventurers, living in caves, bound to the spirits of their magical axes. Theirs a horrible existence, they're undead murderhobos.

> The forest is filled with undead.

Man, I remember playing this one. Reckon I could find the rom online?

After the brutal massacre of their people at the hands of an invading force, the warriors returned forever defending their sacred forest

>all undead are evil.

>Hard mode, explain the furry races without resorting to "A wizard/crazy god did it!"

I'll bite. The spirit realm is to blame. Furries are to speak for the animals. They are selected champion specimen brought up through an act of collective spirit of an animal gathering to better fight or parley with sentient species. They do not reproduce and posses alien instinctual patterns of behaviour.

>Mana potion

Indeed, out of 7392 varieties of undead currently described in the Inquisition's archives, 15 were found to be neutral or good, on average.

> Hero's village is destroyed by the Dark Lord

They did not fulfil their part of the deal. Hero needs to amend for that least he wants to be tormented by their ghosts till the end day.

>Elves

Terry Pratchett's Lord's and Ladies

>A cult that worships recently unearthed ancient god does its rites in massive eldritch temple

It's actually a theme park of a long extinct race.

>Much ebil human rayciss empire

>Elves
Jolly tiny folk making toys and sometimes more useful gifts and giving them out to strangers and friends alike. They are pure like Christmas spirit, not like noble haughty assholes. Craftsmen more often than super spellsword soldiers.

>all undead are evil
There's only one undead, Derrep the skeleton, and yeah, he's a total dick. He refuses to share his secrets of unlife.

>Goons all look identical

Racism is based on past atrocities committed by the other races on humans in a past conflict
Big Bad requires new recruits to complete a ritual that changes the goon's face and body to resemble the first one to join his cause as a sign of giving up on one's own goals to be of service to Big Bad

>Dragon attacks a city to steal an artifact

Medieval classics.
The "ancient god" is basically a sentient artefact created by the ancient civilization to power their entertainment and trade center, it can create food and some comfort stuff.
You mean racist? Or an empire of human race?
> racist
Elves are even worse
> race's
They are like Japanese empire - a small somewhat isolated archipellago. They just don't know other humans exist.

Dragon has kidnapped the princess.

The 'princess' was a prince in drag, avoiding the duty he would otherwise have of taking the throne. Upon discovering this, the dragon tries to get rid of him by asking a ransom. He keeps lowering the demands to try to get the disappointed king to take his son back.

>The world on the back of an animal.

There's a world on the back of every single animal in existence. Timeflow differs relative to size of the animal.

>Aliens come in ships and are superior to humans

Generation ship of space hobos that hop civilization to civilization to beg for spare change in the form of fuel and life support.

>Undead skeletons

Spirits so strong that they keep going after their flesh rots. Standup dudes all of them. Eventually docile robotic ectoskeletons that outlived their masters.

>Undead skeletons
The dwarven necromancer couldn't find any skellies to raise in prison, so he cut these bad boys from limestone floor and animated the remains of the ancient calcified microorganism shells within.

>Regular thing: but it's really big in fantasy worlds

Dire Bunnies. They're a disaster. We need a wizard to create dire wolves.

Ancient artefacts are more advanced and powerful than new ones.

>dragons begin manipulating stock prices by shorting guild share prices before destroying them with their dragon strength
I might use this

The artefact was originally stolen from the dragon and is a precious heirloom with sentimental value.

Bunch of wizards were casting a mass ritual to try and catapult everyone into a golden age. The spell back fired, wiping out a large portion of civilization, draining much of the natural magic that is harnessed to create artefacts and the world is just now starting to right itself back to it's natural course.

>The princess/prince is on the run from their evil father.

I like this one a lot

>>The princess/prince is on the run from their evil father.
Allegedly because their father is an insensitive asshole who wants to marry her to an ugly foreign dignitary, but actually she's stolen something magical from the king that has been propping up his reign

>Everything prefers the taste of human flesh, why aren't humans extinct?

>The princess/prince is on the run from their evil father.
That is, their biological father - an evil god of debauchery and savage frenzy, and not the king who just wants to put the princess/prince in a dungeon for the kingdom's safety.

>Magical healing exists but some reason people still practice herbalism and non-magical means of healing.
Each person has a natural state where their humors are in balance. When one receives a physical injury, the humors imbalance to reflect this deviation from the natural state. Likewise, imbalanced humors can surface as physical illness in the body. Natural healing occurs by slowly rebalancing humors, but serious injuries/illnesses can self-propagate, outpacing natural healing. Magical healing forcefully rebalances humors, but is risky since a change too drastic could cause the body to undergo shortcuts in the healing process, such as the creation of tumors or mutations, or even cause the body and humors to outright reject each other, leading to instantaneous death. In addition, some ailments are intrinsic to the natural state, such as birth defects, aging, cancer, allergies, immune system problems, and unknown afflictions. Injuries that have already healed, are assimilated into the natural state, even if they healed incorrectly. The only way to magically heal such injuries is to cut them open and try again.

>The hero is righteous

>made of inert nanomachines that were going full grey-goo until they were deactivated and they could theoretically wake up at any moment.

this is 100% going into my next run. ty

>The hero is righteous
There's no twist.

>There is only one person in existence who can stop the evil threat

>There is only one person in existence who can stop the evil threat
With the power of self-control.

I love you.

The parallel race are refugees from a collapsed alternate reality.

>The Good Guy church is completely corrupted

>Hard mode, explain the furry races without resorting to "A wizard/crazy god did it!"

Bestiality that somehow caused children because of mutations.

>Good Guy Church is completely corrupted
And the party is charged by the Gods to reform it.

>20+ different races of non-human humanoids existing equally with humans and being commonplace.
Hard mode, explain the furry races without resorting to "A wizard/crazy god did it!"
There was originally just the Gods and Humanity was a mistake. Having never actually made intelligent life, Humans form the basis of all subsequent life, with the most creative the Gods got being Dragons. All races were an attempt to wipe out humans that either failed or is ongoing.

...

Humans have managed to survive by being crafty and breeding as much as possible. They live much like dwarves in mountain strongholds, scavenging what tech they can from other races when they can.

>The catgirl race is the most curious one.

They operate like Unit 731 when it comes to "the hunt". They give prey certain advantages and disadvantages to their chances of survival and observe how they react in response. In their minds they are both fulfilling an age old tradition as well as building a data bank to ensure their survival if they were every to be attacked by another force.

>vast desert
you can drink the sand to quench your thirst, but nobody knows

>adventurers guild
always locked and empty because even the "staff" are out adventuring.

>corrupt vizier
except every time they try to do something evil, it fails and ends up benefiting the entire kingdom, thus making them seem even more trustworthy.
eventually they're made king, and until their dying breath, they tried to drive the kingdom into the ground but instead drove it to becoming paradise.

>20+ races living in harmony
it's a fantasy realm, so we'll just say that Affirmative action actually worked somehow

>super powerful wizards don't help save the world
because they're all in on it.

>holding back a bigger threat!
but it never actually shows up

>magical healing, but no healthcare
healing is outlawed because of big pharma

>only the chosen one can stop the plot device!
and then somebody else stops it anyway

>plot device has a genetic lock that only the hero can use
then it doesn't even work. this is how the hero finds out they're adopted.

>retired adventurers never being kings or anyone important despite being demigods
the god of willpower steals your resolve after you're strong enough to have it worth being stolen

>the forest is filled with bandits
there are talking trees that can bear humans like fruit, which is why they have no respect for concepts like "personal property"
like a dragon/goblin relationship

>the coins are made of precious metals
they're worth more as metal than they are as coins, yet nobody ever considered melting them down

>orcs are always chaotic evil
created as a defense mechanism by the planet to stop humans from overpopulating

>unicorns and virgins
because they feed on virgin blood

"The BBEG isn't a person. It's a mantle passed down to those who defeat him."

>druids protect nature for no particular reason other than that they're druids.

>druids protect nature for no particular reason other than that they're druids.

Buried under the forest is a giant robot. The druid order is hiding the advanced technology from the wrong hands.

>Stereotypical dwarves: long beards, axes, ale, etc.

All of "nature" forms a hivemind with itself, like an alien being. Druids are indoctrinated people sworn to the hivemind, living making sure that nature spreads far and wide so that it can thrive and eventually indoctrinates all sentient life.

>The hero always gets the girl

>The hero always gets the girl
The girl was in genuinely love with the BBEG but the hero thought she was being controlled. She ends up hating the hero and becoming the new BBEG.

>The main characters are always people with extraordinary abilities who coincidentally all end up together fighting against the BBEG

>mummies come to life when they treasure is stolen
and they're happy when it finally happens, because they get to be alive again

>dragons are greedy
because they're jewish

>king is a mad tyrant
he actually has down syndrome

>girl with mysterious power
(girl)

a dickhead mage made a bridge where the middle is just an illusion, meant to drop you down into a canyon

>charming bard who is loved by everyone
yet they're ugly and can't sing

>church of light starts a crusade
against itself

>dragon kidnapped the princess
turns out the princess is the dragon

>transported into fantasy world to be the chosen one
by the BBEG

>series of trials to get the mcguffin
the maguffin turns out to not exist

>underground civilization
which is where humans originally came from. humans on the surface are actually an invasive species.

>all undead are evil
they're controlled by a hivemind, and the hivemind is a total cunt

>mana potion
blue cows

>hero's village is destroyed by the dark lord
the dark lord is the hero, having returned from the future

>cult. ancient god. massive temple
they end up doing a bunch of shit that the god hates because of mistranslated text

>goons all look identical
"clones" seems too obvious. maybe this is how the hero realizes they're racist?

>dragon attacks city to steal artifact
for the sentimental value

>the world on the back of an animal
the animal lives in a world that exists on the back of an animal. repeat to infinity.

>Necromancy is evil.

Necromancy is an incredibly dangerous style of magic, terrifying to behold, and requires the caster to get their hands dirty, but it doesn't actually require binding unwilling souls to skeletons are magically make you evil when you channel it.
It is in fact, Humanities greatest asset and all the skeletons and gargoyles you see on those gothic buildings? They're watching out for trouble.

>The birdlike beastfolk are all mystical and shit

>The birdlike beastfolk are all mystical and shit
They're not actually mystical, they're just aloof and reclusive so they're a bit awkward in social situations