Player hands you his sheet

>player hands you his sheet
>this is his character portrait
What do?

i'd ask how ticklish they are

That's creepy. You're a creepy guy.

Just go with it? Character portraits aren't necessary anyway.

>Player hands you this as a token

It's ok. I always imagine you guys differently anyway

Did he misprint it or something?

This, ask if something went wrong with the pic

I have players give descriptions instead of portraits.

This. It doesn't matter what the character portrait shows, I'm most likely gonna imagine the character completely differently anyhow. Probably from session to session even.

Better then to drop the pretense and not use portraits at all or use ones that evoke the feeling of the character rather than showing their actual appearance.

>player hands you his sheet
>this is his character portrait
What do?

If he isn't playing an inquisitor specialising on Tyrannic gods, ask for a slight alteration.

How about now?

"Nice taste in sides."

Seriously, who the fuck cares.

"She's hot."

Unless he painted this himself he can fuck off. I don’t allow unoriginal trash characters in my campaign. He has until the weekend to get me his 5 page character synopsis and back story. If there is any hint of a tail, he’s over 6’6” tall, or a non-tolkien race I will write his character for him

>tfw you recognize the porn artist they cropped for their token
honestly wat do? calling them on it requires basically stating outright we have the same porn collection.

What's the character's race?
Mind-controling tapeworm?

This is the character I just handed over to a new DM for my druid.

I've never dumped Cha so hard in my life.

"No, Kyle, we've talked about this. You can't play the elf's tits, or the belly button. I don't care what you read on Veeky Forums"

>DUDE, LET ME JOIN THE PARTY. I SEE FAIRIES.
>DON'T YOU BELIEVE IN FAIRIES?

>Yfw he hands you a 10 page document breaking down how he can by RAW

To be honest at that point I'd let him
Admittedly I'd be banking on him getting bored with it after a session or three and playing a more normal PC but if he can play it and make it work eh... why not

Well, it is a Star Wars campaign. Welcome aboard.

How would that even work?

I'd probably laugh.

...

>If there is any hint of a tail, he’s over 6’6” tall, or a non-tolkien race I will write his character for him

Shit GM

We're all very proud of you for biting down on that sharp piece of metal as hard as you can.

Hot

I'd ask him if he understands what the word "portrait" means.

Make a tribute vid on it.

> Your character is a waist? That's very original.

Why call them out?
It's not porn anymore.
That's like claiming that a fully clothed photo of a porn star is actually porn, because you can see their naked face.

I'll stare at it intently for a while, give it back and with a bit disappointed voice and expression state:
>user, I can't fap to this.

Their next character is propably an overweight middle-aged orc.

Is he a belt? Guess it's okay if he is. Did he buy the girl as an Ally or have some kind of mind control?

Shocking twist, he turns out to be her belly button piercing

Ah yes, the Tummy Ring of Power, forged by the not uncommon enough Skank Elves. It's a bit of a departure from their normal work of Tramp Stamps of Protection.

I now have the image of a One Ringesqe belly piercing

If I ever record an album, I'll be stealing this for the cover.

If they're that stupid they're likely to be a problem down the line. Clear red flag. I'd mentally note it as the first of their three strikes.

>tramp stamps of protection
Whatever nigga it's an eberron campaign.

>Tramp Stamps of Protection.
You joke, but I've always loved the idea of a tattoo that grants an armor enchantment

"I mean that's a pretty nice side, but can you get a picture with a face at least?"

If they're a grill you can fap together

Why do you think it's so important that the face is shown?

Not him, but because the face conveys the nature of a man far more than his body?
Facial expressions are far more important in nonverbal communication than almost anything else, body language included.

Right, but you'll be reading *his* facial expressions during the game. No one is gonna be like
>wait wait wait, I can't tell what emotion you're character is conveying right now, let me see your character portrait again

Ask him if he's going to crash my game with no survivors.

These are the character portraits for a game I'm running.

...

>That's like claiming that a fully clothed photo of a porn star is actually porn, because you can see their naked face.
It's actually like cropping a pornographic photo and submitting it as "this is what my character looks like". It won't matter how little skin you can see if everyone recognizes she's a porn star.

So? If there's nothing pornographic in the pic I don't see the issue, maybe that's the closest to how their character looks they can find?

>What do?
I ask ask him to give me a composite reference image.
Only a portion of the midsection gives me very little to work wi

I demand the full-sized images where these were all cropped out of.

2018; not asking for a detailed description using words like an adult.

>not keeping yourself aware of all prime tickling targets in the area
fag

Go ahead. Educate me then.

Again, you can tell more about a man from his face AND his body than you can just from his body.