Please, mr. adventurers ... There is a monster in our town

>Please, mr. adventurers ... There is a monster in our town
>... but only kids can see it

Time to learn how to fight.

Why dont we discuss this matter further, along with our fee, down by the swimming hole?

>If they share their bodily fluids with you you gain this ability temporarily.

Then you'll be our eyes, and we'll be the ones to fell it.

As fate would have it, the halfling can also see it.

jeez, that kid was hot

Strap them in.

A young girl shouts to the paladin."Mister, it's over there! No, no, to the left! My left!"
"Wait, I thought that was right," another child asks.
The girl turns away from the heavily-armored man furiously smiting the air in front of him. "No, left is right, my da said so."
"You dummy," a third child interjects, "that only works with errings!"
The paladin sheathes his weapon for a moment. "You mean 'earrings,' child."
The small child stamps his foot. "That doesn't make sense," he whines, "why wouldn't you wear rings on both ears at the same time?"
On a nearby wall, the party's thief files their nails with the flat of their dagger.
"I don't think this monster is real, guys."
All three children and the paladin turn towards the rogue and shout "is too!"
The paladin continues to thrust at the air as the children cheer him on.

shuldn't the girls dad see it then?

? This is just what average teens look like in the setting; calm down horndog

but in the book IT preys on adults as well, it's plainly visible to them, it's just a reality warper that doesn't go exposing itself everywhere

>Then you'll be our eyes, and we'll be the ones to fell it.
That's a pretty righteous answer, user.

>NPCs stating metaknowledge

World-class GM right here

He is a part of it.

Time to move to a better story

I kill all the children, problem solved.

you belong in the adventure guild thread

Man, Pacific Rim 2 really took a budget hit!

...

Which one?

Here you go, something new.

And here I thought the Witch specializing in age-manipulation spells would never be relevant. Shows what I know, I guess.

Please tell me she'll turn us back to normal once this is over.

I'm thinking a repeat of that one scene from Bleach is in order.

And I swear to the gods that that damn bard better not make a song out of this.

"Polymorph Self into kids?"
"Too magical realm."
"Hm. We would - hear me out guys! We could remove some of the kids eyes and make a potion that should-"
"Dammit, Ted, we're not all Chaotic Retarded! Also take it down a notch."
"I've got it! We'll just tie the kids to our weapons and they can call out where it is so we can stab it!"
"We've got a winner!"

Purchase some orphans, cut out their eyes but keep the eyes "alive" through a constant streaming of healing magic. Hook up a magical aparatus the reads what the eyes see and displays it on a monitor or something similar (optimally they would look like those goofy prank glasses but instead of a moustache and big nose, that's where the orphan eyeballs hang) so that you can see the monster and kill it.

Goddamit, Ted, we already told you to dial it back.

Oh, that's an easy one.
Crew served weapons.

>... but only kids can see it
Fucking Duh. Go deal with it douchebags. I got my own monsters to deal with.

Fucking Christ Ted, jeez.

CHILD! GET UPON MY SHOULDERS!

With your youthful eyes and my strapping arms, that monster will be bisected before noon!

"No worries, lads, we noticed that sewer smell coming from the monster from miles away. We don't need to see to kill something that smells so pugnant and revolving."

Whatever you do, it all just ends up in an orgy of loser fucking that one girl in the group. She enjoys it though, so it’s all just good fun.

Always remember; every King story is a single line of cocaine away from magical realm.

Oh that's fine. I've got a few scrolls of see invisiblity, if that doesn't work I've got a couple of detect alignment, if that doesn't work I've got detect neutrality, and if that doesn't work I've got a plenty of bags of flour.

That's ok we're all man-children

"Now I know this may be a silly question, but did you try asking the kids to throw flour on it?"

if only kids can see it what the fuck am I meant to do?

but user, the child orgy was critical piece of writing for them to escape the sewer, because it effectively symbolizes the end of their childhood and innocence.

>Mfw this actually happened in one of the sessions I played
>Mfw as the in game "kid" of the group I was sent to kill it
>Mfw lich is killed by 16 year old with barely any sword training

Finally me being a manchild comes in handy! Show him to me, kids, I'll kick his sorry ass.

OP said kids, not teenagers.

In medieval ages a 16 years old would be considered adult

That looks better than the actual PR2

Found him

John Podesta lives here?

underrated post

>Orgy
>One girl

Is the paladin Susan sto Helit?

DM did it that, maybe only kids can “see” it, but once you suffer harm from it even adults can. Because some hidden entity isn’t going to remain hidden for long when it opens your guts up.

A gangbang, then. Jeez.

Ah, the starve the monster strategy, clever.

There are orgies that doesn't even have girls.

Boy howdy, user! You sure showed us, huh? Look how EDGY and REDPILLED you are!

I legitimately don't understand how you think this is funny, or that you're clever, or that you're doing anything but parroting a loser ideology that's somehow become even MORE cancerous than /co/mblr.

The post you’re replying to wasn’t really funny, but you’re a fucking loser

T R I G G E R E D

Protip: It's much more rewarding to watch the /pol/tard repeatedly try to fish for (You)s than it is to feed him. No matter how snarky you believe your reply to be, it will be seen by the troll (and everyone else) for what it is: troll food.

In the future, when you see a /pol/tard make an effort to shitpost, try ignoring him. You might be setting an example for other anons and not even realizing it!

Absolutely right

Actually had this happen once. I played a barbarian that was into charity work and had a soft spot for orphans. She spotted a distraught little waif sobbing by an alleyway and decided to ask what was wrong. This child explains that the invisible ones took her friend and nobody believes her. Turns out her friend was homeless and didn't have any parents. Long story short she managed to persuade me that it was worth at least looking into. I tracked down the wizard, who was busy harrasing a local bookshop about their poor selection, and brought him to the child. He questions her rather harshly, but manages to get out of her that some other orphans could confirm her story. A little bit of orphan hunting later we had two others confirm that sometimes children were approached by colorful lights, and a few days later they just disappeared. This was probably real, so we got the rest of the party together.

The wizard interrogated the waif again, kinder and more sympathetic this time, but he was looking for some sort of item that belonged to the missing kid. She eventually produced a toy horse he liked. The wizard got to work. A few minutes later he got excited and began to lead us through town, occasionally looking at the ground. We came up to a nice looking house, and after knocking a few times with no answer, he said the one thing every barbarian loves to hear. "Smash down the door." We ended up bursting into a room with a family just sitting down to dinner and saying grace. The horrified family jumped from their chairs in shock demanding to know what we were doing. We ignored them for the most part, herding them into a corner and telling them to shut up. The wizard told us there was a trap door in here, the fathered argued that there was no way in hell. We tore the kitchen apart and found a hidden door in the floor. The father was pretty confused and we were convinced he didn't know about it. So we ripped it open and I jumped down, crunching a bunch of small brittle bones upon landing.

I looked ahead and in the dim light saw a couple of large figures tormenting a terrified child. I raged and burst in, tearing the creatures apart with ease. It was supposed to be a difficult encounter but frenzy barbarians are scary things. They were in pieces by the time the party got down there. I later found out they were some sort of Djinns. Long story short we managed to get the kid out safely, I cut the heads off these things and dumped them on the mayor's desk. I took my share and brought it to the local temple and convinced them they they had better start sheltering these kids. The party got their share later when I hauled the chest to our airship. Funny enough no-one else thought of bringing it up with the town officials.

He says whilst feeding the libtard.

Shitty. Lets see what we got in the wagon.

Thats a magic trident, a dagger that returns to your hand, a bunch of +1 arrows... I guess you can have my old shortbow too. Hey guys, anyone still want the magic missile wand? No?

Here you go, kids. We have a lot of old crap we dont use anymore. That, or magic weapons we dont specialize in, but frankly I dont trust you with a flame bursting doublestrike spiked chain. I dont even trust ME with a flame bursting doublestrike spiked chain, not after that thing with the sailboat.

Anyway, take these and some healing potions. I'll show you some pointers on how to use them, and you can kill your first monster!

Hey now, stop crying. MY first monster killed my whole family and I had to fight it with an ads. No, not an axe. Thats not important, what matters is I didnt get free magic stuff.

I have every confidence that some of you will survive this!

One of my favorite scenes in Bleach: a giant Mexican 14-year-old beats up an evil ghost that he can’t see because a girl who can is riding his shoulders.

I've got a spell that lets me ride people's senses, and cast through them. Let the fucker try some spooky shit, then enjoy the look on his face when the scrawny one's eyes start glowing and he starts puking elementals