Why bother

Dude, fuck off.

That sucks.
I'm not promoting the idea of increasing tension, but you have to give her an ultimatum, either she plays or she doesn't. She needs to decide whether or not she wants to commit, you can't put everybody else's fun on hold, and it's not right of her to hold the campaign hostage with something like, "I might come back."
She has to make an adult decision and establish with herself whether or not she wants to commit. And there's nothing wrong with you as the DM making that known to her.

The only outcomes are she keeps playing or her character is dealt with appropriately in game to keep the story going.

I have faith you'll handle the situation as needed OP, good luck.

Thank you. I think I'll do that. From what she's said it doesn't sound like she'd be returning before the end phase of the campaign, so I might as well take over her character as an NPC for a session or two and handle it myself.

This might irk her but if she can't deal then that's on her.

>just feels weird that her character would leave the group right now
have a "large group of bandits" attack / ambush the party and have her character simply get killed by the fist shot or trap (like a tree falling on her to block the road) or something that has no save's and can take all her HP and then some (like the inn that the party is staying in cheches fire and she is killed when it burns and collapses)
the dungeon there in has a cave-in and she is killed before anyone can save her and they cant recover the body

i have also had drop in and out players with PCs that have a reason that they are not at every season like they play a ghost or a drunk or they have a magical item that takes them to a place where time passes differently so the PC has had no time pass since last played and the party has had to go on without them
or they turn into a werewolf and have no control of how long or where they go when it happens
they are a noble and need to go back to their holdings to take care of them from time to time

((((kidnapping is a good one to explain the absence of the PC and can become a minny side quest for just that player))))

also a
snow white or sleeping beauty kind of spell works

>"personal issues" "get her life back on track and focus on herself"

have something similar happen to the PC
news of a beloved famaly member die or a favorite magic item just stop working or weapon break or a crippling injury
or a near death experience change the PCs motivation
or find out that the bad boss is someone they don't want to destroy (like the litch is a beloved teacher or famaly member)

If a girl initiates contact with you outside sessions it means you aren't being too creepy right?
Asking for a friend.

>No plot
>Just autistic screwing around
Sounds pretty lame desu

>(and I can't kill her off because she said she might come back, but can't give any sort of deadline for that)
Just have her character get horribly injured and the other players avenge them.

clearly you don't know how to "screw around"
think less of a drama and more of a comedy
had a fun one where all PCs were monsters from the monster manual

yes it was a lot of fun

not if it's a restraining order like in your case.

Very funny.

That sounds like it would have been fun in high school, but as an adult that sounds like an unpleasant experience..

>my game of pretend time is the most important thing in the world and if a player needs to take some personal time the solution is to get imperious and belligerent about acting like a cunt to either force them to play or remove them entirely from my gaming roster

Sounds like a real healthy group there, anons.

So what should I do? Put the whole game on pause for 2-6 months, hoping that she'll get better in that time and that all the other players will be interested after that?

Silly cunt.

Ultimatums never work. If she says no, you're pretty much in the same boat. If she says yes, she'll probably be resentful and may end up leaving after a session or two anyway.

You'd best try to find a better plan. Considering her ex is in the group, and they apparently broke up on bad terms, I'd say you've got a lost cause. Just make her char an NPC and spare her feelings.

Thank you for the retarded shitpost that adds nothing to the thread.

>as an adult that sounds like an unpleasant experience
nope
almost everyone i game with now is over 30 and this was just 2 years ago
this is why we don't have normal campaigns our lives don't allow for a normal weekly sessions

Dude, stop being such a White Knight.
There's no belligerence or coercion.
The world stops for no one.
She made an adult decision and now she has to expect adult repercussions.

>Ultimatums never work.
"Excuse me, ugh, Mr. Jefferson, I won't be coming to work the next few months, I'm dealing with some heavy stuff."
"Come to work tomorrow or you're fired."

I don't see why everyone is making this into a big issue, there's no micro aggressions or hostilities. It's just making decisions as an adult.

I don't see why so many people in this thread are selfprojecting, I'm not going to assume a damned thing about this Girl, or assign blame to her ex-boyfriend or the DM. This entire thread just boils down to "Acting like an adult and respecting everybody's time."

>"Come to work tomorrow or you're fired."
Your games are like a job? I guess I was doing it wrong. Hanging out with friends to have a good time, what was I thinking?

Really dude, that's the only thing you can latch onto? Are you really going to devolve this into a pissing match?

In some sense, yes, it is a job. You have a monthly expectation of arrival as does everybody else in sake of having a good time together.
Like any other job leeway can be given for a few misses here and there, yet there comes a point where lines are going to be crossed and a decision has to be made.
If you can no longer commit it's time you opt out. It's not even a matter of being forced out, it's a matter of showing decency and a respect for other people's time rather them being held hostage with uncertainty.

Maybe to you and your friends various gaming sessions are platonic gatherings and a form of hangout time with emphasis on being improptu, but clearly that's not the case for OP's group.

OP's group is Two years invested into this campaign with established regulars, losing one of his regulars is possibly enough of a blow where the campaign might be ruined. The pacing is now going to be off and all his players will be in a limbo waiting on whether or not she'll make a return.
Do you know how much it sucks to be a DM and have to deliver an ultimatum? He's not going to do it to be a no-fun-allowed jerk, he's trying to salvage the campaign and more importantly the overall experience for his remaining players.

>caring about muh plot
You are a shit GM.

She could have died in game. She could have betrayed everyone.
You shouldn't make the story this dependant on a single character.
Do your job as a DM and roll the story forward, be creative, fixing the situation is literally your job. Things don't go always as planned, just improvise.

If you want absolute control over the story you should just writte a book.

>fun
Don't say that word, the neckbeards will get angry

>Without her PC I'll have to derail the story, going to make the finale half-assed and lamer than intended.

So many anons have said it already. A straight discussion about how everyone else has invested 2 years to this campaign that her decision is hers but she should not expect others to subject themselves to her whims. If she cannot bare that then it is her narcissistic fault. Discuss this with your group. Remind everyone of what you have all gone through as a unit and decide if one individual is more important than how the group.

>Why bother DMing at all when your players can just not give a fuck on a whim.
Because user likes it?

>someone in the group is creeping on her.
You mean an unattractive man is pursuing her.
That is what you mean.
"creeping" is a term created by retarded teenage girls. Kill yourself.

This is why you shouldn't run mixed-sex, long term groups unless everyone involved is distinctly not attracted to each other.

Players quitting always sucks, and players quitting that late into a campaign majorly sucks. People can say all they want about how as the DM you need to adapt, but adapting to an in-game player decision is much different than the player saying they have to leave indefinitely. I am of the belief that you move on without her, tell her that you understand she needs time and you'd like to have here there for the finish, but that it's selfish and unreasonable of her if she expects the entire campaign to just press the pause button until she's worked through whatever shit it is. Then make whatever decision YOU think is best. If you think her character should die? Rocks fall, she dies. Want her to go fuck off on another continent for a bit? Got a summons with an armed escort and she has to leave indefinitely to go handle matters. If you want to be generous you can ask her what she'd prefer for her character, however if she tries to bitch about any suggestion you have tell her if she doesn't like it she can come fucking play and then you won't be forced to kill/exile/etc her character.

Was she asian?

You sound like you are a well adjusted human being with above average work ethics.
You'll have to realize that you can't hold others to your own standards without getting disappointed regularly.
But keep trying, you can't win if you don't play.

>and now she has to expect adult repercussions.
It sounds like she was trying to do that by taking control of her life and cutting off what were negative stressors, but OP's the baby who can't finish a campaign without having all his players involved. Yeah, shit sucks to lose a player to real life, but trying to enforce they play just to satisfy your fucking campaign is asinine.

Damn, I had to scroll down this far to see this. This is the correct answer.

So she might come back... but you have a finale that you need her for.

Fuck sakes OP pic related for you.

>Co-existing with women for non-reproductive reasons
You did this to yourself.

t. underage moron

Some people have more important things in their life than indulging in a fantasy game.

>waaaah she doesn't want to do something that makes her sad and uncomfortable to make me happy waaaaah
No shit user. You also sound really compassionate with your "friend" when you mock that she find something emotionally "difficult"

>How dare someone not make my game the number 1 priority in their life.
Jesus Christ.

Your mom.

Your mom's face.

Jesus, your pro women white knight mentality is fucking insane. OP never stated he was going to strong arm her into staying.
Just because he's bitching doesn't mean he's a baby, two fucking years of investment only for it to be jeopardized because some stupid bitch can't control her "fee fees".

I'm sick of all these fucking White Knights and Various PC Police, God damn. Go back to fucking Reddit or Tumblr.

And lets be frank, her cutting off this DnD group is probably just going to be a gateway for her continuing this downward spiral you "Womyn Might!" cuck.

>expecting literal parasites to be reliable
You're an idiot

Is this some kind of /r9k/ joke I'm not familiar with, or what?

t. an idiot

lol no you

No you and your socks.

no

Your face is no.

Talk it out with her or NPC her character. If people have to drop out they have to drop out. No use blaming their gender for it.

>No use blaming their gender for it.
That's pretty blatantly the whole point of this thread, though.

>being such a fucked up loser that you read the word female and assume it's blame for her shitty behavior
christ almighty

Reading is a vitally important skill.

>She's a girl and is, of course, emotionally unstable atm and said she needs time to "get her life back on track and focus on herself

You tell me.

Then maybe you should use it to read the fact that sperging out and defending m'ladies on the internet will never get you laid

...

If your "story" can be derailed by the loss of a player then you're doing it wrong.

There sure are a lot of bait pol threads lately, must be the kids aren't back to school yet

You sound like a bitch

When can we have quests back?

"You" can have them right now, exactly where they (and you) belong, in your containment board. Go back.

...

Silent majorities never work. Either you say what you mean or people will assume that you're okay with it.

Nigga, unless you're paying me to come to your games, I'd tell you to fuck off and convince everyone else to do the same.

Who the fuck would even go through this much convoluted bullshit over a game of pretend? Even if it works, you're still strong arming someone into coming to your games out of obligation, which is the most fucked up thing you could do under the guise of performing a recreational activity.

This has nothing to do with male vs. female, this has everything to do with OP putting his game above the health and well being of his party. I'd be saying the same thing if it was a dude taking time off to sort out his personal bullshit.

It's a fucking game, IRL shit will always take precedence over campaign. Hell, at least she gave you fair warning instead of just dropping off the face of the earth.

Summer never ends user, summer never ends...

>Implying Veeky Forums isn't the containment board nowadays
I mean, all I see at any given time is threads that read like runoff from /a/, /v/, and /pol/.

Try running an actual game rather than a shitty storytelling session where you plot out your unpublished fantasy novel in advance and forcefeed it to your players. Your problems with the story becoming "derailed" will vanish.

>and convince everyone else to do the same.
Not that user but this might be even more petty than making an ultimatum

Yeah, men are never creepy and never pursue women sexually beyond the bounds of common politeness and decency, especially not poorly-socialised RPG nerds.

>Why bother DMing at all when your players can just not give a fuck on a whim.

One player quit! What a catastrophe! My life is over! Typical millennial faggot immediately jumping to extremes.

First, all your players didn't quit, asshole, so you keep DMing for them. You've been playing together for almost 2 years so you owe them. What kind of a weak minded bitch are you to quit just because one cunt quit?

Second, you don't need to derail your plot either. Turn the little cunt's PC into a NPC and have your remaining players take turns controlling it. Your plot or story wasn't that great anyway, so changing it isn't some huge loss to humanity.

When the cunt wants to come back - and she will - tell her NO and that she can wait until you start your new campaign. She made the decision, she can face the consequences.

Finally, you've now learned that the old advice about not gaming with women is true. Women are inveterate solipsists and attention whores. She was only there because 1) her boyfriend was and 2) she was hoping to get attention from the other men in the group.

In my 30+ years of DMing from AD&D to Traveller to CoC, women players are always a problem. Single, dating, married, it doesn't matter. They play for personal validation and not for fun. They're the first to bitch when their PC doesn't get enough "time", they always go "meta", and they've no concept of IC/OOC.

You're lucky that she left, OP. Now you don't have to put up with her shit.

Anyone who would force someone going through hard times to hang out with them under an ultimatum is someone who does not deserve friends, let alone a functioning game group.

Like imagine, if you would, someone telling you that you had to go to the next session or else you'd be kicked from the club, moments after you informed them that you would miss next session because you had to attend a funeral.

Would you want to deal with someone like that? More to the point, would you allow someone else to deal with that nonsense?

>Anyone who would force someone going through hard times to hang out with them under an ultimatum is someone who does not deserve friends, let alone a functioning game group.

That's not what the OP wrote about and no one is suggesting it either.

To recap, the OP had a player quit the campaign. Not miss a few sessions, not drop out for a period, but QUIT the campaign they'd been playing for close to 2 years. The player's reason for doing so wasn't a funeral or their health or their family or work or anything other than the usual cuntish cop-out about having to a deal with "personal issues". And don't start claiming those "issues" are anything of importance because you all know they're not. It's just a cunt being a cunt.

This wasn't a case of her missing next month's session. This wasn't a case of her not being able to play until few months from now. This is a case of her dropping out the rest of the campaign for "reasons".

That being said, while the cunt left the OP in a bind, the OP's reactions are nearly as pathetic as her actions. His response to her should be nothing more than "Thanks for playing and don't bother coming back." Worries about "saving" her PC and all the rest are groundless.

Retard

If you can't commit to a group recreation activity and cost the rest of the group displeasure just fuck off. It's a plain and simple commitment, I'm sorry that you millennial soyboys live off this idea that everything should be fun with no commitment and consequences, the world doesn't fucking revolve around you or your precious "fee fees".

If she can't commit she can't commit, she either needs to opt out or keep playing. Holding everybody else hostage so she can sort herself out isn't fair to everybody else.

Veeky Forums sucks now, it's full of people who don't belong here. They need to make way to reddit or tumblr, I'm sicking of reading Lawful Stupid post by various would be White Knights.

It's literally how groups are killed, one faggot gets butt blasted and go's out of his way to ruin it for everyone.

You are so fucking retarded, God damn.

This guy gets it.

>the world doesn't fucking revolve around you or your precious "fee fees".
Neither does your shitty game take precedence over IRL bullshit that needs to be focused on. I cannot fathom how one could honestly suggest that one sets aside their own mental health for the sake of a game of make believe and morons like you give the rest of us a bad name when we try looking for extra players.

How about you go back to spamming Magicgate memes to "redpill" the "masses" on how shitty SJW's are.

I suppose you could say...
youtu.be/j8A9zFAArJQ

>Silent majorities never work. Either you say what you mean or people will assume that you're okay with it.
Not true. Most of the people lurking Veeky Forums are smart enough to guesstimate the board's population, so when you see a post that's been bumped three times but the poster count is still 1, you can be fairly certain that other people have seen it and are also choosing to ignore it.

Watching an OP repeatedly try to bait the board is delicious when the neckbears can keep their shit together long enough to force OP into a meltdown.

If her mental health is so fucking weak that seeing an ex ONCE A MONTH for a few hours around other people is so much stress that she can't pass college and has to take time off to "focus on herself" then she is a weak minded little bitch. Like every adult she's run into a rough spot in life, like most women though that rough spot isn't her fault at all in her mind. She'd be flying through college with straight A's right now if only she didn't have this once a month campaign eating into her entire life apparently and seeing one person throws everything into chaos. You're lucky to be rid of her OP. Tell her she's fee to leave, and then kill her off and don't let her play on any future campaigns. When she inevitably asks to join back tell her that you don't think you'll be able to cope with seeing her and you need to take some personal time to focus on you and your players.

Also, all you white knights defending her here. What is your end game? Do you believe that OP is going to mention you stood up for her and then she will track you down and just sick on your cock 24/7 for standing up for her against the big bad OP? Grow the fuck up.

Are you really so bullheaded to think that a fucking D&D game is so important to anyone's life?

Get fucking real.

I don't get it, everyone's saying to keep playing without her. Why are you even arguing?

What is the point of this argument when both sides have already decided what the best course of action is?

>Not true.
>Most of the people lurking Veeky Forums are smart enough to guesstimate the board's population, so when you see a post that's been bumped three times but the poster count is still 1, you can be fairly certain that other people have seen it and are also choosing to ignore it.
That literally never fucking happens moron. There was one thread where all OP posted was a fish hook and somehow the thread still managed to get over thirty something posts before the mods deleted the thread.

fa/tg/uys love to bite onto bait and are too autistic to let shit go, so it just creates an environment where shitposters can get (you)'s from practically anywhere.

>If her mental health is so fucking weak that seeing an ex ONCE A MONTH for a few hours around other people is so much stress that she can't pass college and has to take time off to "focus on herself" then she is a weak minded little bitch.
Well kudos to you being a kissless virgin who never has to deal with the drama of being mutual friends with people who frequently hang out with your ex.

Protip: Your game is not more important than someone else's personal life and you already fucked up if they were so important that their absence causes the game to collapse.

Next time don't make her a main character because you're hoping to get some pussy points with the roastie.

You already made this thread

Nope, you planned an activity you've gotta be a big boy or a big girl and put your personal feelings aside. I DM and I have to do that all the time because other people are relying on me.

it's called "working as a team" scratch DM's personal fun factor, look at fun factor of whole group, and two years of team dynamic and effort put into this game. This is a tough situation, basically "don't take jobs with your partner / no sex in workplace" situation. On one hand she's bailing on everyone ruining their fun, on the other hand, if she stays, shit might get even more unpleasant, when one of the partners inevitably takes out their personal dirt at the player table. I'd say don't bother, maybe she actually does this to defuse any further conflict.

Slightly related, and in the opposite extreme of what OP is talking about

I discovered that the GM has a railroaded campaign and doesn't care about what we say, choose, our backstory or whatever, so the thing is, what's in there for me? if free will and even rolls don't matter why the fuck he expects us to keep playing?

What the fuck is wrong with you retards, just fucking understand he's pissed a player left after 2 years of commitment.
RPGs are a commitment, the players and the GM set aside time that could be used to do something else other than being there, and the direction he was commited to and wished to take the story on is now derailed, so naturally his two years of GMing were taken off the tracks and he's gonna be annoyed, so fucking what? If she wishes to leave this deep into the story, it's her problem, OP is annoyed likely due to the fact she can't decide if she'll come back or not so he can take a new direction for the campaign and that's it.
Stop making into a discussion about ethics in TRPGs, it's not, it's about solving a problem you morons.
That said, get a response out of her before the next session and run with it, don't let the issue hinder your game or your friendship, just try to remove the character in a non permanent way so things don't get awful if she ever really, really wishes to come back, but remove it nonethless.

There's nothing in it for you, unless you enjoy seeing a (likely shitty) book being written in front of you.

>Protip: Your game is not more important than someone else's personal life

You couldn't be more wrong if you tried. Her personal life is important to her and of no consequence to him. His game is important to him and of no consequence to her. Neither trumps the other.

Her personal life is her problem and her problem alone. If her personal life means she can't play anymore that's her problem too. She should just walk away - as she's done - and the DM should just work around any problems caused by her absence - as he's whining about having to do.

What should NOT happen is her personal problems putting the game on hold. There are other players with nearly 2 years invested. Her alleged problems don't trump their interest.

>>and you already fucked up if they were so important that their absence causes the game to collapse.

Now that is something you were correct about. The OP fucked up by putting on PC in a position which is critical the the campaign. If you hadn't planned on real world pressures and life events intruding on a campaign lasting TWO YEARS, you're pretty fucking stupid.

TL;DR - I'm not defending either the player or the DM over the other. They both need to do what they need to do and quit whining about it.

>Nope, you planned an activity you've gotta be a big boy or a big girl and put your personal feelings aside.
No I don't, because this is a recreational activity that I'm (presumably) doing with friends and any real friend will understand that people have to put recreational shit aside when something more important than tabletop requires their attention.
>I DM and I have to do that all the time because other people are relying on me.
Who the fuck are you running for that requires so much time and attention that you have to sacrifice aspects of your personal life just to maintain? I DM too, as do most people in my friend's circle, and I'd feel like a heel if I forced someone to run a game for me when their heart isn't in it anymore because of shit going on in their personal life.

>I discovered that the GM has a railroaded campaign and doesn't care about what we say, choose, our backstory or whatever, so the thing is, what's in there for me?

Nothing is in it for you. RPGs are collaborative. Not 50/50 all the time, but still collaborative. If your choices and actions effect nothing, then why are you playing?

>>if free will and even rolls don't matter why the fuck he expects us to keep playing?

He's either stupid enough not to understand why his DMing style is bad or he's counting on you and the others being stupid enough not to care or notice. Regardless, he either needs to change or you need to leave.

It's a game. It's supposed to be FUN. Remember?