How would you introduce the ORKS as the big bad in your dark heresy game Veeky Forums?

how would you introduce the ORKS as the big bad in your dark heresy game Veeky Forums?

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The Orcs rape the protagonist's wife.

Simples.

Orks don't have pee-pees.

they have gretchins for that sorta thing and thats still mucking about.

The Orks grow pee-pees thanks to a Mad Dok's experiments.

Simples.

A entire sector/sub-sector is in civil war, petty lords are fighting each other with mercenaries of different races/factions and there are proofs of the usual suspects (Tau/Eldar/Chaos) being involved in the origin of the conflict.

In reality, a freebooter krew was sent by a Warlord to soften the humies for the incoming WAAAGH!. The Kaptin knew he was going to be zogged if he went to war with everyone else at the same time, so he went to start little by little.

That plan goes off the rails when some looted Chaos wargear gets lost in one of his raids abd he tries to get it back, he see the humans killing each other while shouting "heretic!". So the Kaptin has the idea of always leave some loot out of the Chaos crazies after any raid. When he ran out of Chaos shinies he got rid of Tau and Eldar gear, that somehow manages to drive even crazier the humans.

He is still in the sector, doing mercenaries work while he waits for the WAAAGH! to finally arrive.

I have a better idea, let's play Rogue Trader
but instead we're gonna call it Freebooterz
and we'z gonna be the most piratey orks dat evah pirated

The group is trying to track down some other sort of dangerous xenos element, perhaps a group of dark eldar scurrying across the system abducting important people.

Except an Ork warband has also been on the move and the xenos have been using their invasions as cover for their operations, the ensuing destruction caused by the Orks makes it difficult to piece together where the targets will be hitting next.

Until the Orks suddenly manage to seize a lynchpin planet in the sector and their presence escalates to a full on Waaagh! All signs of the xenos vanish as the sector falls into mayhem, and the group is redirected to perform counterintelligence on the waaagh!'s progression through the sector and circumvent any further major strategic losses like the one that escalated it in the first place.

To prevent the original hook from feeling like the xenos are somehow orchestrating all this, hints could be dropped that they ran afoul of the waaagh!'s warboss and were wiped out.

An Ork incursion has been detected inbound to planet/subsector/whatever the scale you want to address it at.

Players are sent to whip the local forces into line before the green tide hits, which is hampered by general uselessness, factional infighting, minor chaos cults, and other endemic internal problems that the Imperium has going on. At the end of the day though, they'll be on the line when the Orks hit, and how surviveable that situation is will depend in large part on how much the players fixed things up before they got there.

OP here. None of these ideas are any good. I need something with a little more Ork dick in it.

I like the idea that this warlord is cunning, but he still needs to ork it up abit. maybe sends his boyz to see if that freebooter izn't muckin about. Said boyz might do there own thing and crash parties on a number of planets
always thought if the orks are going to be a serious threat, they should be treated as a pseudo natural disaster of dakka and waaagh

Orks don't have dicks

Orks don't have dicks.

Well give 'em some then. Look, the point is that I need something with Ork dicks, rape and hot action. Can you provide me it?

Fuck you OP

This is not Kuroinu, ya git. With you don't have some Chaos warband/Dark eldar instead if you want rape?

...

Look guys, you can either help me or get the fuck outta my thread. It's that simple.

Your Inquisitor or one of his colleagues cut a deal with a freeboota in some warzone and now he's doing his own thing instead. He needs some reminding of who's boss, but Deathwatch is busy and you guys are the most expenda- I mean qualified for the job.

...

Yes they do, they just dont have a sexual use for them. Although they could still theoretically penetrate an orifice with it in a sexual manner

You don't need a pee-pee to rape somebody

As soon as he heard one of his comrades scream “SQUAD BROKEN!", Eduardo the Space Marine knew that he was doomed. He charged forth in a panic, firing his plasma gun wildly into the air. Somehow the orks had surrounded them! Eduardo’s teammates ran shrieking into the depths of the abandoned tanker, the grunting lustful orks in swift pursuit. Soon Eduardo was alone.

The brawny Space Marine collapsed against a wall, panting raggedly. His plasma gun had nearly overheated, and his com units were malfunctioning. No use even if they worked. By now, his whole squad was surely dead.

Lost in his thoughts, Eduardo did not hear the ork creeping up on him. Stunned by a blow to the head, Eduardo was thrown violently to the floor. The ork grunted in amusement, bending down and straddling his body. Dazed, Eduardo turned his head to look up at his enemy. The ork fellow was huge, well muscled and even attractive for his species. Right now the ork’s vibrant green skin was flushing dark in arousal. Eduardo whimpered as he realized what was about to happen.

Summoning up his powers as a Blood Angel, Eduardo bellowed in the Black Rage and began to flail about under the ork. The ork simply grunting, riding the panicked Space Marine like a rodeo bull. Already weakened, Eduardo simply did not have the strength to dislodge the much heavier ork.

All that thrashing around served to arouse the ork further. His name was Gurk, and the friction as the puny Marine flopped around between his muscular thighs was giving him quite a respectable hard-on. Gurk had meant to save the Marine for his own squad, but he couldn’t wait any longer. Whipping out his own plasma gun, Gurk seared off the back of the Marine’s armor, leaving his shining buttocks bare to the ork’s lustful gaze.

Eduardo moaned in fear, his virgin asscheeks clapping firmly together to deny the ork entrance. Gurk simply laughed, ripping off his crude orkish loincloth to reveal a thick green meat pole, nearly 12 inches long. The ork stuck one calloused finger down his throat, bringing up a thick vomit slurry which spattered down into the crack of Eduardo’s ass. Smearing the foul vomit around with one brutish paw, Gurk prepared the Space Marine’s tender anus for playtime.

Much to Gurk’s frustration, his cock was simply too large to fit inside Eduardo’s tight man cunt. He grunted furiously, screaming “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" in his deep orkish voice as he battered his fuckmeat against Eduardo’s tightly sealed pleasure ring. Suddenly the Space Marine’s portal gave way, and the swollen head of Gurk’s cock popped through into the forbidden halls of his anus. Gurk’s pleased snort was drowned out by Eduardo’s scream of agony.

The ork began to pump away in earnest, his bulging muscular hips and thighs slamming brutally against Eduardo’s ass. His heavy, furry balls slapped against the human’s ass merrily, creating a calypso that pleased Gurk mightily. Blood, a thin smear of feces, and Gurk’s own oily yellow pre-cum lubricated Eduardo’s asshole until it was as hot and slippery as Gurk’s own mother’s cunt.

Poor Eduardo was swiftly going into shock from the pain. His mind growing dim, he screamed “SQUAD BROKEN! SQUAD BROKEN!" over and over as the ork thrust brutally into his bruised insides. The ork’s massive cock had caused a large degree of internal damage, and Eduardo was close to passing out from blood loss and fear. If his squad didn’t find him soon, Eduardo knew that he would soon die. His poor plasma gun discharged into the floor one final time, overheating from a mix of pleasure and agonizing pain.

Dis! Rap wit dakka.

Gurk roared out as he climaxed in the dead Marine, his beautiful green cock pumping load after load of thick ork jizzum into Eduardo’s lower intestine. The ork pulled out as Eduardo’s anus slowly relaxed, releasing Gurk’s cock with a wet sucking sound. Gurk used the sleeve of the Marine’s uniform to wipe the thick scum of blood, shit and cum from his swiftly withering ork meat. With a satisfied grunt, Gurk walked slowly away from the Marine.

Eduardo’s corpse lay cooling on the floor of the tanker, the charred remnants of his uniform stained dark with the foul fluids of both the ork and himself.

Squad broken.

Fuck yes. this is what I was looking for. Time to fap.

seriously dude?

Lol newfag

so when is black library gonna write this?

Well something entirely different is happening. Then Five Orks in a Jeep crash through the wall and the building blows up. There's a lot more Orks outside and buildings are blowing up there too. An Ork on a megaphone shouts above the cacophony;
>Awlrights Humies, dis 'ere's Warboss Zockwaz. Me and da boyz are spoilin' for a fight so youz organise your armies and your space marines for a scrap. Wez got a lotta boys and a lotta dakka so's don't skimp out!

I read it in His voice
youtu.be/9C3O-r5PXUo
14:20 if it doesnt synch up

Orks don't NEED a reason to show up
They just sort of do

This. We had a game where the ritual Cultists were using to summon a horde of Daemons somehow was mangled into an Ork's tellyporta path.

Both parties were very confused, but the boys got a good fight out of it.

ROKKS RAIN FROM THE FUCKING SKY

Acolytes are doing their investigation. Start playing some orky metal and describe how a rok just collided into a hab spire a quarter mile away and there are many more blotting out the sky.