What's your in-universe explanation for this degree of sexual dimorphism between elves?

All the elf slaves what do and fetish threads are evidence as to why your image is bullshit.

The left is a half-elf, with all the degenerate traits inherited from the human.

You are implying that it actually happens.

The worst part is that this thread will get all the (You)'s and not get dleeted.

on the contrary, my picture is based on empirical evidence gleaned from many doujinshi

Why does the truth annoy you so?

Good to see someone being utterly shameless in their pornography.

The males evolved to look more female because the masculine looking dudes were all speared to death by humans before they could reproduce.

Evolution doesn't care if you have a good time.

>the truth
Prove it. No fanart. No memes. Well, the right is half-way right, though.

wait until you see my other elves senpai

sadpanda

but the male elf doesn't look female, he looks like David Sylvian

>57287810
>sadpanda
Not even worth a (You). People that don't give a shit about elves should stop posting about them.

but I do

I went through the trouble of drawing that pic because I care about elves

who are you anyway? The officially appointed internet ambassador or Elfdom?

Even in a fantasy setting were mystical creatures can use magic to bend time and space it is too far fetched to believe a female can be useful.

but she is very useful.

You can use her as a cupholder or as a pillow, see?

Wait a sec i can expand

>long ago elves have slain their creation god
>with his dying breath god cursed the elves, dooming them to extinction
>no female child would be born to elvenkind
>elves went "fuck it"
>engineered stupid, short-lived but genetically compatible species
>it's basically bestiality but when your species' fate is at stake you ain't gonna be squeamish
>because curse is race-specific, the effects of it are lessened
>male children are born pureblooded elves since elven genetics stronk
>female children are, because of the curse, almost devoid of elvishness and so are basically nothing but humans with elven ears and slightly longer lifespan
>elves feel instinctive aversion to half-elves because of uncanny valley effect

There, explains both demigod elves and thicc hentai elves.

Learn how to type, you post like a phone-monkey. Your picture is shit and so is your thread.

In order to confuse the sex crazed humans during the early stone age the male elves would disguise themselves as females to keep the real ones untouched. Over the course of many many generations the more feminine elf males were favored to keeo the rouse going and although no longer necessary the art of Human Trapping is a traditional right of passage for males in many elf cultures

how rude and uncalled for

but the male elf doesn't look female
the only person he'd be able to trap would be a very naive Duran Duran fanboy

>57287996
Just like your thread.

Elfstrogen is a powerful drug

Dem thighs.

>rude
I didn't insult anybody

how come it has such disparate effects?

I can roll with that

But how do you explain the big fat rounded ears on the female elves?

Elf girls are women, elf men are MEN

>57288059
How about everyones intelligence.

Japs are a disease

Ey fuck you holmes, I wasn’t trying to sad today

Why do people keep denying that female elves are goofy floof-haired cutes? There's a reason why the best male elves are the most copied and loved in fiction. Name a female elf that's actually held in high-esteem.

males studied Jojo, women didn't.

to be fair, you don't come off as very clever

Maybe Deedlit?
Arwen?

Honestly the floofy ones are usually the most memorable

Even Deedlit was pretty absent-minded at times and Arwen is only remembered because they rewrote that part of LOTR for the film to give her a reason to be in it other than just to lust over Aragon.

You have to for Elf 17 or such; and even then what do you find? Floofy, absent-minded, although competent elf. The other well known pop-culture elves are all fairly silly and usually villainous or incompetent. Warcraft's full of them, like Sylvanas and such.

yes but at the very least WoW elves are serious

Sylvanas was pretty cool until WoW.

Isn't that more a reflection of how women in the fantasy genre tend to be villains, incompetent, or the young adult hero who is breaking the mold by not being either of the above?

...

Reminds me of some animal species where there's often multiple male types. The alpha which collects a harem, the satellite/Independent that usually live with one or two females they grabbed from the Alpha, and the Omegas which look like the female and are part the harem. These Omegas then breed with the females when the Alpha is away.

This could be similar to how Elves are. Female Elves are feminine to attract strong male Humans. However the male Elves were getting killed off because they were fighting the Humans all the time. So the ones that did survive were often the effeminate ones that were usually allowed around Human camps. They were slaves/communial fuck toys. However they also had access to female Elves & female Humans.

When hunting & gathering gave way to agriculture. Elves & Humans split into different kingdoms. However secretly, all male Elves crave human cock.

Boredom.
Boredom is the right answer to all those threads

A side note in the Simarillion.

Jain Zar, Hellebron, Lelith Hesperax, Galadriel. Though you are right that the most important and powerful elves tend to be male.
>are goofy floof-haired cutes?
Depends on the setting and artist.

I hope there is a report somewhere as well.

Plenty of women who are heroes and such in fantasy fiction; Red Sonja, Lina Inverse, Ciri, etc, etc.

Notice that they're all not elves.

it's an interesting topic to discuss

That's how they got the Simarills out of Melkors crown.

Lina Inverse is an elf too!

>Jain Zar
>Not floofy haired.

A third of her model is hair.

>shitposting topic to shitpost
FTFY

she looks pretty fucking goofy too

She is a powerful character and combatant in the lore, you fucking nut.

That's a very popful image right there; but while Mail has the same motivations, she's a fighter and hits things with a sword while Lina just commits mass property damage and Dragon Slaves everything to pieces until she gets her hands on even more dark magic where in her damage intensifies.

Noptice how you ignored my post

Imperfection.

Personally I never ran her in my Eldar days but then again special characters were never my thing.

Anyway, if you want to suggest that the 40k and Warhammer examples are examples of well known elves, you might as well say Nork Deddog is a household name for ogres alongside Shrek.

Mail's pretty good with a boomerang as well

she's a sidekick to Maugan Ra just like every other Phoenix Lord
And the Phoenix Lords are now sidekicks to Yvraine, who is a much more prominent female character by virtue of being a full-blown mary sue. And even she is also a goofy, floof-haired cute.

Soooo... reverse monstergirls?

Elves have always had a dash of silliness to them, the challenge being keeping it while also making them an interesting thing to play.

but big fat rounded ears are perfect
Helleborn, Morathi, Lelith and to a degree Galadriel are villains.

Of course. Female elves therefore are the more comedic impish goofball aspect of elves whereas male elves are the wondrous and fearsome aspect.

No, I didn't. I pointed out how Jain Zar has floofy hair; as do the other two GW characters, btw even if Lillith is kinda eh with GW's love of the topknot.

Anyway, You cited three special characters from GW who have barely any impact on anything other than to be good on the tabletop. You didn't even cite someone who actually, while incompetent and fucked up and got her son hideously deformed and burnt did manage something, Morathi who's far more influential in Warhammer than Hellebron.

You had one good example of a character who, while important in backstory, serves pretty much to show how dangerous the ring is and goes away and that's the poster child of the elven queen.

Lelith is probably Goodwin's most blatant loveletter to topknots: she uses hers as a weapon.

Yeah. I still want to know what's up with him and the topknots. He loves putting them on pretty much everything he sculpts.

>did what virtually no one was capable of and retrieved a silmaril
>destroyed Morgoth's tower by singing
>got her bae back from death by pleading with the god of death
>critically important to the line of half elf badasses
>clear author insert of his wife
>overshadowed Beren in his own story
Only elves more relevant to the events of the Silmarillion are Feanor and Earendil

Also was it just me or did she very nearly offer to suck Frodo's hobbit pipe in exchange for the ring?

very dignified indeed

None of these characters are goofy cutes, didn't expect that the hair is the most important aspect for you.

but they ARE goofy and cute. They take themselves very seriously and that's why their weird outfits and hairstyles come off as extra silly and cute.

Yes, important in the mythology and the backstory, I gave you that; but even so, she fucked up a fair few times. Joined in with the Noldor and encouraged their rebellion, leading to the Kinslaying which pretty much fucked over Elvenkind. Her actions after that were all in response to her joining in with the Noldor and their stream of fuck-ups. Then once she had established her little slice of Middle Earth, she basically stood still after helping to defuse a situation she had a hand in making.

So the argument of this thread is "I find elves cute, therefore all female elves are always trying to be cute, always"?

I think you don't know what these words mean.

To be fair, she's only had two miniatures and her 2nd Ed one is goofy as fuck.

You just don't appreciate elves.

You only in a specific way that you made up in your mind.

>Old woman dressing sexily expecting to be taken seriously.

See? Goofy.

this should make everything clear

>Implying Jain Zar isn't goofy or cute.

Next thing you'll say is that the DoW farseers aren't adorable.

Elves are creatures of the fey, and as such they match a certain narrative role. For the most part, the ones humans encounter tend to be playing the part of "Lord and Lady" or something similar, so to humans they appear as the apex of the masculine/feminine. It just so happens that the humans who most encounter them are from the nation of Lucerne, who are known for their bishie men and pretty strong misogyny. Thus, most of the Lucernite traders tend to see the elven lords as elegant graceful godmen and the elven ladies as incompetent eye candy. The reports from the Lucernite explorers spread to other lands, and so the common view of the elves was set.

>I-I'm not cute B-BAKA!

Denying it makes them cuter.

Perfect. Absolutely spot on in every detail. Someone needs to send this to GW.

>This thread

Veeky Forums got hit hard by the no-fun brigade it seems.

The warlocks are better. As far as I know, there were very little named female eldar characters compared to the males, and not a single named female farseer until the games. And they were all shit, female just to fill a quota, and got degraded further by Veeky Forums's memes.

certainly not, that's actually straight from Goodwin's design notes sent to the other designers and sculptors

is this what the no-fun brigade looks like?

that works

Wait

Isn't that basically just an eldar ranger?

>muh fun
>let's headcanon untrue shit about elves!
It's always the same, at least three times a week, no idea what fun people see in this.

Part genetics, part bad eating habits and sedentary lifestyle.

Elves didn't look like that when they lived their usual hunter-gatherer lifestyles in the forest, I can tell you that. Forty years ago, no elf would look like this, ever. You think THIS kid can shoot a doe, much less catch one?

no idea why it makes you angry either

Are you an elf? is that why you don't like it when we make fun of topknots?

I think male elves can also be silly.

Takes this ballad, where a male elf demands impossible and silly things to a woman who wants him, where she responds in kind.

youtube.com/watch?v=d7rWcBwqbH8

It's such silly flirting.