So I do a backflip to get behind the enemy and stab him on the back

>So I do a backflip to get behind the enemy and stab him on the back
>GM: okay make an acrobatics check for the backflip
>Why? I said I already did the backflip and I should only roll for attacking
>...
>So I stab this dude in the chest and twist the knife, I'll roll for extra damage for the twisting
>GM: no you can't twist the knife for extra damage, that's a separate attack, roll for hit first
>What? but the knife is already in him and I just twist it! wait where are you going?

...

>GM: Lancer and his steed backflips behind you and backstabs you for damage
>How's that possible? Shouldn't he make a check first?
>GM: I already said he did the backflip. Now you take damage from surprise attack. Oh, and he also twists the lance several times
>Shouldn't that be a separate attack?
>GM: No point, the lance is already inside you. So, now you take bonus damage from centrifugal force as you spin around

Have you tried not playing GURPS?

>playing with people this retarded

Simple solution: give him a taste of his own medicine. All enemies will run at him and tackle him to the ground, then pin him as a single motion (because why wouldn't they?). Then if able they will also attack him while he's completely immobilised, and get extra damage because he cannot defend himself. And enemies always succeed on their rolls against him.

I am reminded of a story I heard of a selective rules lawyer who, despite his character being basically unconscious and completely tied up, demanded AoO whenever an enemy went near him. The DM relented, but in turn had literally every enemy that wasn't completely dead and turned to dust get AoO on him if he was remotely close to them - and suddenly the AoO rule wasn't as attractive to him. And order was once again restored (mostly).

>Just do the check user. You'll get a bonus if you land it, but I'll give you a penalty if you don't. Or are you afraid to gamble?

>You'll still need to make a separate attack roll for it. He's not just going to let you stand there and twist the knife, so you have to see if you can do it before he shoves you off. We're abstracting a scuffle into combat mechanics here.

this hobby do attract a lot of retarded people

I blame literally everybody. The grogs, the power gamers, the roleplayers, the /v/irgins, the /a/utists, /co/mblr, /pol/acks, /r9k/, underageb&, oldfags, etc.

Why can't they all leave so our hobby stops sucking?

I blame e-celibs mostly, they turn every game into memes, jokes and people hanging out, I know their job is to entertain, but they're giving the wrong idea to the new players.

It is a game of let's pretend but at least don't disrespect the rules...

I started watching the game grumps campaign until i heard that one of the players was just picking flowers for the first round of combat before getting up, whimsically exclaiming how fun it will be to murder these thugs and drawing 2 flaming scimitars.
I haven't watched any critical role or the yogscast d&d my bud keeps telling me to watch but i imagine its a lot of the same.

Though i wouldn't mind experiencing a serious game GM'd by ProJared

tfw your hobby will never stop sucking because you are the common denominator to everything you do.

Sleep well tonight.

Critrole takes their long ass combats pretty seriously, if that's what you're interested in. The bard goofs around (I think the first battle has Lightning cast from the crotch), but compensates by being the best player at the table. Otherwise there's banter, but Mercer is good at shushing his players.

>GM: No point, the lance is already inside you. So, now you take bonus damage from centrifugal force as you spin around
>as you spin around
>the knight hits you with a spin attack

I'm the GM now

jesus fuck no, I've never seen a stream/show fuck that kinda shit up. Not even on any of Critrole's guests, where they had a lot of noobs on.
Team4Star, Heroes and Halfwits, Funhaus, G&Sundry, Force Grey, and DiceCameraAction all do it right. Through H&H fumbles the hardest and it's hilarious/aggrevating. Funhaus is the most unsuspectigly charming, beyond their memey chars is some nice rp.

>GM: another enemy collapse your skull with his warhammer, you are now dead.
>But..
>Ye dead sonny, session and campaign ends for you now, dont let the door hit you on your way out.

Imagine being at a game with a super chill DM and someone triggers them by being an absolute fuck and you just see them whip at the person with an instantaneous -you'redeadnow- and gives a psycho stare at them until they leave, then returns to normal.

Imagine the looks the other players would give eachother as they watch this, it'd be hilarious and terrifying

...

Shit that never happened, the post.

It would be educational.
Should be taught at the DM collage.

>Imagine this happened
>THAT NEVER HAPPENED DURR
good eye, sherlock

Case in point, I see.

>that one player who stares back and dares them to make them

Trust me, not as fun.

Are you overestimating the average fa/tg/uy?

Is this the part where you insult everyone who suggests calling the police to have a trespasser removed from the property?

I'd shoot my own mother if she took more than 3 seconds to leave my house after I asked her to because I'm not a betacuck like you

t.betacuck

Fucking libertarians

Correct solution: pull the lever, kill the union rep.

I'll try spinning, that's a good trick

>they turn every game into memes, jokes and people hanging out
Are you one of those fa/tg/uys who've never played anything?