What does the Porn in the Imperium of Man look like? Hear me out, first...

What does the Porn in the Imperium of Man look like? Hear me out, first. Since just the absolute obsession and excess feeds slaanesh, the Imperium doesn't really appear to be very prude in that regard, altough it must be like every other medium, higly injected with propaganda. So, what will be the story? What will the characters be like, what fetishes will be common? What would their version of 50 Shades be like? Maybe a story about a rich rogue trader falling in love with an simple administratum worker? Give and exchange Ideas.

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And before you ask, Pic only semi related.

The Imperium is very huge, so the answer is, as always, depends on the planet. 40k is so popular because it's the ur-setting where you can have many things existing at once and not invalidating each other. Sky's the limit, user!

A thread died for this

fuck off, retard

Depends on the planet.

If you want a SoB cheesecake thread, you honestly can just ask for it. No need to be coy and pretend you don't want lewd sisters.

>A thread died for this
It was this thread that only had OP and the one user telling him it would work better on /qst/.

While that answer makes some sense, there's a thing called central Imperial World, or just Imperial worlds, who are highly connected to central administration and tend to be homogenous in architecture, proceedings, law, ruling etc. Many hives also follow a lot of guidelines. And entertainment sounds exactly the sort of thing the Imperium would want to censor, control or edit.

Also 'don't be a party pooper' would be an appropriated response.

According to the Eisenhorn and Ravenor books, the Imperium has everything from soap operas to porn. Jurgen in the Ciaphas Cain novels has a nasty habit of indulging in holoslate porn.

What does this porn look like? The answer is pretty mundane; normal women and/or normal men engaging in solo or paired sexual acts.

OP here, that is what I was aiming for, especially because of the portrayal of the more exotic cultures. For example, I remember a thread about how the entertainment media in the Imperium would look like and that if you would a Propaganda Series about the IG, with members of the more well known regiments, how Krieg would be portrayed since they are in reality pretty horrifying. One user suggested that they may would go for the "Silent and Calm Warrior" type for them and portray them a bit more human, than the actually are.
I actually mean it. But if you have those, you can post it, also for any other Imperial Organisations, with suggestions who they are portrayed. Simply spoken, if you post some lewd Arbites Stuff, than I would be very pleased if you also tell me what "JUDGEMENT TIME XXX - She likes to go rough on 'em." is about.

>Simply spoken, if you post some lewd Arbites Stuff, than I would be very pleased if you also tell me what "JUDGEMENT TIME XXX - She likes to go rough on 'em." is about.

I mean, as says it's not going to be anything particularly unique to the Warhammer setting. You'll have sexy Arbites cops or naughty Sororitas sisters or kinky IG women (what *do* they do in their barracks? The answer is saucy!)

Like, Amberley Vail from the Ciaphas Cain novels spends some time disguised as a high-profile actress for a Civilized World (as bog standard Imperial as you can get) and the only thing special about her look was hot, blonde and in a nice dress.

Beyond all the skulls and power armor and all-consuming hunger of a galaxy on fire, it's just normal people with normal habits.

There's bound to be some sick fucks out there that wants to bone the damnable blue birds.

Porn is pretty much porn forever man, the ancient Greeks and Romans had a habit of jerking off on sexy statues and frescoes and such, people have always beat it to sexy girls and people fucking and sometimes weird shit like animal people. The imperium is still just a bunch of humans

>sexy Arbites cops or naughty Sororitas sisters or kinky IG women
Would they have a forbidden lore heretical BDSM, just because it's taboo? Interracial xenos porn? Interrogation by misstress Inquisatrix? Psykers using their powers for kinky purposes? Can I end purged for possesing a sex tape of the God-Emperor?

>Would they have a forbidden lore heretical BDSM, just because it's taboo?
Ain't nothing heretical about BDSM, adding a sexual angle to submission wouldn't hurt the Imperium in any way.

>Interracial xenos porn?
The Xeno is a creature of fear and treachery, if the race is particularly beautiful you might see them in a niche corner of the Internet, or dated on worlds bordering the Xeno's space, but no. Nothing mainstream, it would all be amateur or very small-time.

>Interrogation by mistress Inquisatrix?
The answer to this one is delicate, since as I said above most porn bigger than "dude with a camera" goes through the filter of the Imperium bureaucracy - by and large, the government ignores most of the "normal" porn, but throwing in the Inquisition makes things hairy. Heck, you're going to see sexy Sororitas sluts before you see an Inquisitor getting pumped. Pornography featuring inquisitors would be almost universally banned, and the only time I could see it working is if there's an extreme amount of pro-Imperial propaganda in it, like the wretched sinner she's interrogating sees the light and become a virtuous paragon of faith and goodness.

>Psykers using their powers for kinky purposes?
Psykers are seen with fear and suspicion, and any Psyker who can manifest their powers are inevitably put on a Black Ship or fed into the Government. Does this mean they're in porn? Probably, there isn't anything heretical about some girl that can give you a tug with her mind.

>Can I end purged for possesing a sex tape of the God-Emperor?
Yes, you would be purged. That is both sacrilege and desecration. Any lust for the God-Emperor an Imperial citizen may bear is entirely within their mind.

They have entire planets dedicated to hedonistic revelry. With artificial environments designed for maximum pleasure. And, technical diagrams for Cult Mechanicus.

There's two types of porn:
>Sanctioned Porn
>Unsanctioned Porn.
The second isn't exactly forbidden, or might be on a planet to planet, porn to porn basis. Unsanctioned Porn is just the type of porn that isn't produced with the approval and overseeing of Imperial institutions and agents, and neither is officially distributed by them.

IG regiments receive titty magazines as part of their regulars supplies, but those are Sanctioned Porn, certified to be free of Anti-Imperial propaganda, heresy or forbidden knowledge or unpleasant ideas. the actual sexual content is less important than determining if by spreading that porn, they are also spreading other corrosive ideals. Unsanctioned porn has not been evaluated by Imperial institutions and how people will react to it varies from who they are, where they are from, what their believes are and what is their jobs.

Porn representing Sister of Battles, for example, is illegal in most world where the Ecclesiarchy has a say. And that's most core worlds. No agent of the Imperial Creed would be fine with depicting the noble Order of the Sororitas being depicted breaking their vows and doing deplorable acts and that's exact the sort of thing a institution as zealous and authoritarian would take as a personal insult. Same thing when the 'Emperor' would be a porn character, or other figures of importance. Or porn where there's things ressembling cults. Sanctioned porn may sill depict imperial guard soldiers doing the nasty, and other day to day situations with actors playing normal imperial citizens. For most of sanctioned porn, the Imperium as institution isn't even mentioned. If it is, it's briefly and in a good tone. Just think of the porn we have nowadays with 'soldiers'. It's often generic, no mention of country or anything specific, just the bikin the girl uses before being gangbanged has a camo pattern and the guys who will ram into her has dog tags, a patrol cap and boots.

So what is the Imperium's Florida?

youtu.be/bcdstu9tftY

Sanctioned Porn isn't necessarily 'tame' in terms of which acts are depicted. it will probably not involve homosexuality due to Empire not wanting to encourage a behavior that doesn't produce kids, but it might be rare cases where it's shown, since there's no mention of it being a crime Imperium Wide. More extreme kinks with piss, scat, mutilation and such are not sanctioned because someone, not the censor directly, someone much higher up, see such excess as conductive or signifier of sexual addiction and excess that could be connected to chaos worship.

Unsanctioned porn can be literally anything, usually produced and distributed locally. Smuggled to regiments for being considered 'better' than the Sanctioned porn mostly because they have more freedom to work with. Sorotitas BDSM, 'Space Marines' fucking each other and other people, and Ogryn bukkake on ratling chick are all things you could find in this category, but that's not the bulk of it. the bulk of it is normal vanilla porn that simple has not gone through the Administratum filter. Some porn can be sanctioned after production if a producer want a license to sell to imperial regiments, but it's not a crime to produce porn without sanction. However, if the porn you produce is found offensive to Imperial Creed, Imperial insitutions as a whole, the figure of the Emperor or his Agents, Saints and etc...You could suffer any fate from life sentence with forced work in a radiactive planet, to summary execution, to a fine, a slap in the wrist and suspension of Media Producer license.

The Imperium isn't prude. The shit that Slaanesh feeds of is way more intense than any porn.

>Slaanesh
Fun fact, Slaanesh only approves of vanilla sex.

lets not forget handholding

Especially handholding.

Oh no, loyal subject of the Imperium is going to be gang raped by the wretched Xenos!

Don't be silly, we all know the plot would end up with the mighty human overpowering the weak willed xenos and dominating them repeatedly.
>Fuck, the prosthetic ears fell off. Cut!

>your pic
That’s the dream right there, I wouldn’t even care if they kilt me after.

I'm sure they've got Administratum-approved Porn (which takes forever to spread if at all because, well, the Administratum's bureaucracy makes the goddamn Vogons look reasonable by comparsion) and then all the non-approved (and therefore heretical) porn everyone else makes.

>And, technical diagrams for Cult Mechanicus.
Don't forget the toasters.

What's happening

Something lewd.

The only official porn - if at all - will be found in rather sultry recruiting posters seeded among the underhives, since boners might draw more recruits than actual loyalty to the Emperor. I'm sure everyone's seen a few sultry pictures of commissars with a 'join the Guard now' while browsing for lewds, you know what I mean.

There's always going to be unofficial, privately produced porn, but that's probably going to be more on the illegal side of things in the Imperium rather than the overwhelming deluge of it we get. Not to say it would be Slaaneshi, but more like even vanilla shit or pinups would be hard to get a hold of, since the Imperium would more than likely frown on a valuable waste of time and effort and resources to produce things that do nothing to benefit the Imperium (the Imperium does not do indirect benefits like 'if our workers actually get to sleep they'll get to last longer and work better')

>Sanctioned Porn isn't necessarily 'tame'
I bet the Ecclesiarchy secretly makes their own porn with barely legal girls and distributes it amongst the Adepta Soretitass.

>I bet the Ecclesiarchy secretly makes their own porn with barely legal boys and distributes it amongst the Adepta Soretita/ss/.
Fixed

Just don't let the tapes leak to the outside world.

While we're on the subject, might as well briefly discuss other races:

Obviously the humans would produce xenos porn in small amounts, but that'd be pretty heretical shit and would probably get blammed where more human-related porn might at least get a blind eye turned to it.

The Tau likely would not produce porn for themselves, because for them reproduction is very strictly controlled to prevent interbreeding of castes. It's probably a step beyond arranged marriages, maybe even arranged breeding pairs, so sexual desire is not going to be encouraged. On the other hand, the Tau might make use of eroticism in their propoganda. Nothing far enough it devalues their message, but a curious Imperial is probably far more likely to listen to a pretty blue girl or a charming Gue'vesa than a scribe-looking guy in broken Imperial. They might encourage the spread of human-made Tau porn, if nothing else for making the Tau more likable and familiar rather than seeming alien.

The Eldar would not produce any porn, like at all. Their whole path system is to restrict and control their emotions and desires, which if left unchecked prove dangerous. At best you might see some particularly sensual designs in armor or statues, but the Eldar would not design these to be titillating. They'd probably destroy a human planet if they found Eldar lewds there.

>The Eldar would not produce any porn, like at all. Their whole path system is to restrict and control their emotions and desires, which if left unchecked prove dangerous. At best you might see some particularly sensual designs in armor or statues, but the Eldar would not design these to be titillating. They'd probably destroy a human planet if they found Eldar lewds there.
But what about Outcasts, Corsairs, Exodites, and Dark Eldar?

>no mention of Tyranid and Ork pron
There must be an adventurous rogue trader who sticked it into one or two exotic species for science, right?

>There must be an adventurous rogue trader who sticked it into one or two exotic species for science, right?
>implying it wasn't some adventurous rogue trader lady who took Ork D for science
The real reason Orks spell their names with a 'k' instead of a 'c'. So they don't have to deal with that annoying orc stereotype
On that note, there's probably some enterprising Freeboota Kaptin out there who found a market for 'Diggas-on-Sororitas' porn and got a lot of dakka in exchange for the footage.
Definitely heretical stuff, but porn is porn.

Right, should have gone beyond Craftworld Eldar, sorry.

>Outcasts
Maybe, especially if they fall in with Corsairs. It is still on a specific path, so they're probably being careful about what they fall in with (Pathfinders are specified as having overcome their temptations), and probably don't produce any porn themselves because they're scattered individuals and squads. Which leads into

>Exodites

Apparently Outcasts spend some time among Exodites to live it up, and Corsairs too. They would probably be more open to lewdness, but it would vary - nomadic communities would not really have the time or means to produce porn, but might be more open to casual intimacy. Small clannish groups might have vaguely titillating art, but probably wouldn't be going out of their way to produce something for debauchery. But they are far from the call of Slaanesh and don't need the path system, so there's a lot of maybe there.

>Corsairs
Probably the closest you'll get to having proper vanilla porn of Eldar that was actually made by Eldar - at least among the groups that don't eventually go to Commoragh. Not much else more to say except that they openly revel in excitement and sensuality, even if they are more a middle ground between Craftworlds and Dark Eldar most times.

>Dark Eldar
Maybe? Hard to say, I'm not sure if something artificial like porn would get them off when they have thousands of slaves and cloned Dark Eldar to fuck around with. And that's not even taking into account the Wytches that will probably only get off by stabbing someone in the neck after an acrobatic flip, or the Haemonculi that need to rip peoples bodies apart and put them back together to get even twinge of pleasure. Let's just vaguely say that they're certainly open for porn, but they probably are too far gone for something so simple.

You didn't ask, but I figure Harlequins might be open to it, kinda like Corsairs. They are pretty wild.

I doubt Orks and Tyranids would produce their own porn at all - they don't have a sense for it, and even in the humorous scenario of I doubt Orks would understand what porn really was. Their porno would probably start out like a badly written 'who ordered the sausage pizza' and devolve into a fight scene since Orks don't get sensuality.

Maybe Genestealer cults would produce their own porno, but from what I remember reading they just get an instinctive pleasure from being around each other and the mental touch of the genestealer Patriarch. They tend to focus themselves on expansion rather than drawing in just anyone for recruitment.

You might find human-made porn of these things, but I'd go back to 'blammed for xenos' territory. With some races, especially on backwards planets, it might be just hilarious how badly they understand xenos or can replicate them, so you'd have bulky humans in green paint or badly fashioned claws.

Neither Orks nor Tyranids have genitalia.

>it will probably not involve homosexuality due to Empire not wanting to encourage a behavior that doesn't produce kids,

I very much doubt that the IoM has any issue with insufficient birthrates on all but a tiny minority of planets. The IoM probably produces porn in a handful of separate categories to appeal to the main blocks of sexuality and tastes of humanity. After all, a pile of porno mags is probably cheaper to produce than a bolt and could easily have as good of an effect on morale over the long term.

You say it like it's going to stop human curiosity. Check /d/ and their xenomorph threads.

Actually, Hormagaunts (and possibly Termagaunts?) actually have the ability to reproduce and lay eggs indepedent of the Hive Mind - that way even if they fail to take a planet, the basic gaunt instinct will cause them to run and hide in caves and other hidden places, reproduce and create whole generations of basic nids to harass the lifeforms of the planet. This is both mentioned in the 5th edition codex, and is included in a short story where Inquisitor Kryptmann does an overview of Tyranid biology and the best ways to defeat them.

>I doubt Orks would understand what porn really was.
Orks don't have porn, because it gets in the way of fighting.
I'm relatively sure Orks (or at least the Slavers/Runtherders) understand how human sex works, but they think its kinda pointless because, again, less time fighting.

The only ones who might understand the function of porn are the Blood Axes the unOrky gits, and even then, their reaction's usually gonna be 'wot's da zoggin' point?'

Pic semi-related.

If porn does exist and is sanctioned, and doesn't interfere with faith, then the only acceptable porn is that of biologically pure humans (probably from Terra) with no mutations. Porn of abhumans or xenos would definitely be heretical.

if it was so good it wouldn't be on page 10

That pic must have an extremely, extremely horny corsair if she thought this would actually work the way she wanted...

>Fun fact, Slaanesh only approves of vanilla sex.
Well if it was approved, it wouldn't be nearly as fun or excessive.

>elfxOrk stuff
1. Fuck you for pushing that awful paring you cuck
2. Thats down right unOrky you git. This is why the Goffz is da best

>dem lips

Orks 'ave danglies, ya git!

>loyal subject of the Imperium is going to be gang raped by the wretched Xenos!

Men can't be raped by women. Not even by xenos women.

That is objectively incorrect.

You mean da Bad Skullz.

>Deathskulls

Zoggit.

The Drukhari Wyches would like a world with you about that...

Deathskullz are better then Goffs, that's true, but Mork's arse do they have a weird sense of humor.

I once order a bunch of Deathskullz to loot the most precious thing they could find from a humie base, and they came back with 2 boxes, one labeled 'Naughty Adeptus Sororitas: The Complete Set' and the other labeled 'Emperor-Approved Tasteful Sororitas Lewds'.

How the zog iz that more important than zoggin' dakka?!
>t. confused Freeboota

That was my old phone background circa 2004.

Presented without comment.

I am absolutely certain that somewhere in the Imperium, there must be a porn industry dedicated towards Imperial women being fucked by Orks. I know it would be heretical and under the table, and the Orks might need to be bio-engineered to grow dicks by rogue Techpriests, but I am certain that it must be happening. If BLACKED in our world can make billions from interracial porn, I don't see why Imperials wouldn't try to make ORKED porn.

>I know it would be heretical
>ORKED
Let's kill the orks and have a sex scene with sexy commissar rewarding the brave guardsmen instead.

Has someone still the screencap?

>can make billions
Impossible

It's probably more going to be GENESTEALED than ORKED. Girls love the Tyranids.

>If BLACKED in our world can make billions from interracial porn
it really doesnt. pornstars tend to avoid doing porn with blacks.

to put it into context, japanese pornstars will charge roughly the same amount to get fucked by blacks as they do with worms. do not ask how i know this

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This is now officially a 40k fap thread.

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>implying Dark Eldar porn wouldn’t be super vanilla and cute because it would be so strikingly different. Dark Eldar cuddlefucking and aggressive positive consent porn is perfect.

Who makes all of these things.

A genius.

A SUPER-genius.

bump

filename

Flick the Thief. There's a tumblr and a Hentai Foundry. It's glorious.

legit question here, would the elite warriors of the imperium have a lot of virgins in their ranks? 40k has so many stories of child soldiers and people trained for most of their lives to just be killing machines. do marines even have sex drives anymore? like do they still do bro talk and check out female inquisitors? or is that more a guard thing.

Marines cannonically have no sex drives (except maybe Space Wolves?), and have either non-functional dicks or no dick at all depending who you ask. There are NO virgins in the Guard.

>There are NO virgins in the Guard.
Drafting age of Conscripts can be as low as 10 years of age.

>There are NO virgins in the Guard.

Virgin status is removed in the traditional hazing rituals all new guardsman undergo.

There are NO virgins in the Guard.

Path of Artisan and someone taking on the Path of the Lover to perform those acts. Wearing a mask so they cannot make a physical grasp of what their partner feels during the banging process. Just the energies needed to feel a sense of belonging and passion.

Not even Krieg? I have a fetish for virgin girls in gasmasks.

Some might be, if only cause they've been indoctrinated/modified to not care

Even in the grimdark 90s-trash world of 40K, no one is safe from the casting couch.

Common and catered-to fetishes are weird but tame stuff like feet, piss, shibari, autohypnosis, mostly solo masturbation stuff. Because it won't spread any diseases or bring Chaos to the fighting force, there's no infidelity shown or implied in it.

i cant see this image without hearing the Missionary from Soulstorm

Was she prepared to accept their holy geneseed?

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kek

This but lewder.

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When Cain raided a slaaneshi cult hideout in one of the books, he mentions that a few of the "positions" depicted on the walls were "against regulations". What would they be?

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>564x788

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There are no virgins in the guard because you're fucked the moment you get drafted

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