ITT: We try and understand AdventureQuest Lore

Remember Dragonfable? Remember its shittier older brother AdventureQuest? Well, like most things on the internet, there's a wiki for it, and by god, does this wiki have a lot of Shit in it.
This isn't just bad Worldbuilding, this is Pantsu on Head Retarded Worldbuilding.
adventurequest.wikia.com/wiki/AQWiki
Everything is a dragon. Everything, from your cute, adorable Vampragon to your Dracomancy half-dragon transformation that encourages you to play as the blackest of niggers specifically so you can be an edgelord black half-dragon.
This Shit is the Mad Arab's Donut Steel Deepest Lore, the cringe of this setting is enough to drive anyone mad.

I want to run a campaign in this thing for shits and giggles, see just how long it takes for my players to realize that the enemy isn't the monsters they're fighting, it's that the logic of this setting is so terrible that navigating it is akin to traversing an mutant-filled irradiated apocalypse. It's the opposite of GrimDerp, it's so NobleBright it's retarded.

It's almost as if Adventure Quest is a self-aware parody of not only fantasy games, but of flash games in general.

You should have it so when a person dies they just get taken back to be revived, and to get quest rewards they need to watch a half an hour long ad about flex tape or some shit.

Make it a true never ending hellish torture, kinda like the actual Adventure Quest experience.

Fuck dragons

>In the beginning, the Creator designed the universe, and the world of Lore. Whether this Creator be an intelligent creature, or a physical force, or even a dream, no one can know. Then, the Creator turned his plans to eight agents of its will. The Elemental Lords.

>Every world is governed by the laws of the Elemental Lords. The elemental realms have been in conflict since the beginning of time. Fire and Ice. Earth and Wind. Energy and Water. Light and Darkness. The eight elemental realms. Each pair may counteract the other in equal measure, but equality is rare-- the great battles between the realms forever put their powers at odds in a neverending tug-of-war.

>The greatest minds of Lore agree that as the eight realms continue to war on each other, that there will never be a perfect balance. Some believe that, in the end, only two realms will remain. These people think that those two realms will be Light and Darkness. But this is only a symbolic belief... Light often represents creation, Darkness often is seen as destruction or nothingness.

>But the Elemental Lords themselves are neither good nor evil. The cause of the wars between the elemental realms is not the Lords waging battle among themselves, but the intelligent people and creatures of Lore who believe themselves servants of one Lord or another, and desire control over more than they should have.

>The Creator, a powerful thing, is not alone. For the Creator, too has its opposing force, just as do the Elemental Lords. This thing is known as the Devourer. No one can say what exactly the Devourer is. Perhaps it is a beast on a universal scale. Perhaps it is a dark cloud. No matter what it is... what matters is what it does. It destroys. It eats the elemental forces from all worlds it encounters... and that includes all living things.

I dunno senpai. Seems like cookie cutter fantasy to me. Waging wars between deities with a ominous big bad.

>Want to fight the monsters of darkness
>Have to use dark armor and a light weapon

Now I think of it, I think D&D also have this same logic as well.

Holy shit, I haven't thought about the Artix games in ages. Are they still going?

I played this shit every day nearly a decade and a half ago. It was retarded then, so I can only imagine it's even worse now in many ways.

Oh, and fuck you for the sudden flood of memories pertaining to my wasted youth, OP.

Don’t forget about the super-advanced race of dragon people with robots and shit. Or that human-dragon relationships in the setting are “normal” as shown by the apprentice of Warlic

Holy shit that wiki sucks

One would think people would realize it's a light-hearted parody game after all these years.

Thanks for taking me back, user.

ITT: Anons actually believe that AdventureQuest was only pretending to be retarded.

It was though. That was literally the whole fucking point of the game. To be stupid, lighthearted fun, and a silly parody of the fantasy genre as a whole. You just don't realize this, because for you, everything needs to be "DARKANDEDGYWITHMUHDEEPESTLORANDHOPELESSNESSEREEEEE".

Is one of the rats just a fucking cartoony rat?

>Everything is a dragon
Not that rare actually. You make a game/setting all about _thing_, but then _thing_ doesn't fill all the design space you want. So you just grab generic fantasy elements and call them _thing_.

Just on dragons I can recall How to Tame your Dragon and Dragon's Prophet, both turning everything into dragon's because that's literally what this is about.

Yeah that's why your character calls out the horrible production quality of an area with a Steve Irwin lookalike, complaining about the waves not being animated on top of facing the wrong way, and the fact his "pants look funny".

Let's go over some of the best highlights of this batshit insane roller coaster ride of a series
>Their entire first multiplayer online game is literally just Warhammer 40k drawn by a loli porn artist who has a girl raped by a dude called "Lester the Molester"
>The fucking poster-boy textbook Paladin is actually the Chosen Ancient Evil destined to wipe out all life on earth, except he didn't, because the current BBEG heard of him being born, and immediately raised his entire village with his BIG ENOUGH TO HOST AN ENTIRE FORTRESS ON IT'S BACK DRACOLICH and his Undead army
>Now Said destined Ancient evil channels his super chosen murderhobo powers into making Rings called Paladin's Oath which boosts your luck to Jar-jar Binks/Reality Warping levels of luck allowing you to always get Power Word Die from your Bladre of awe or the Guardian Dragon 99% of the time, and literally unearthing 99% of any graveyard he comes across, just to kill the undead in it, to the point where the forces of Darkness itself register fear of this guy

>The Main Dragonslayer is Literaly Pelinal, but for Dragons
>Had his entire village burned down by a Great Piss Old Wryn (Highest age possible) AnD SURVIVED DIRECT IMMOLATION
>THIS ISN'T EVEN HIS FUCKING MOTIVATION FOR KILLING THE DRAGON
>HE ACTUALLY JUST LOOKED UPON THE DESTRUCTION IN IT'S WAKE, HUNTED IT DOWN AND MURDERED IT WITH A FUCKING ROCK AS A FUCKING CHILD AND DID IT BECAUSE HE HAD FOUND HIS CALLING IN LIFE
>LITERALLY KILLED A FUCKING GREAT WRYM TO DERIVE PLEASURE FROM IT, DIDN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HIS DISFIGUREMENTS OR DEAD PARENTS
>PROCEEDS TO INVENT WEAPONS THAT ALWAYS ALIGN THEMSELVES TO THE WORST THING FOR A PARTICULAR DRAGON IT HITS SO IT ALWAYS DOES THE MOST DAMAGE
>MAKES AN ENTIRE DRAGONSLAYING ORDER
>NEARLY DRIVES THEM EXTINCT, BUT HIS AGENTS BECOME SCALIES AND LITERALLY INVENT DRACOMANCY
>KILLS DRAGONS FOR EVER CONCEIVABLE CONCEPT EVER AND MOUNTS THEM ON HIS STILL UNMEASURED WALL.

ALSO
FUCKING
NIGHTBANE

>Entire race of beloved prestigious healers so apt at healing, they're the staple race for a pick-me up, literally explains why no one is ever a cleric
>Except they're also werebeasts
>Literally got genocided because two mutants were born with the exact opposites of their talents, having skill in Necromancy
>These two are literally able to do shit with Necromancy that is so fucking silly, it is basically reanimation on a conceptual level
>Have never been killed, because their entire species curses people who hurt them, literally have indominatble plot-armour henceforth, and even if they are hurt, they'd turn into werebeasts

>Necromancy in this setting is so powerful that the entire planet has to go to war against anyone attempting to become a Lich, because the transformation literally just turns Kilometers worth of space into desert
>To get around this, they figured they'd practice becoming liches by becoming Half-Liches
>People die so much in this setting, Entropy itself is satiated is always in perfect balance, and Death just says to people who die they owe him a favour, and they get right back to the world of the living
>The Cure For Vampirism and Lycanthropy actually can also augment it based on what you're thinking when you consume the stuff
>The final Boss is a herald of Galactus, and the entire story is basically just stopping shitty planet space cloud Movie Galactus
>Despite the entire game being heavily based on elements, there's an entire area which is exists outside of it, giving mystery meat damage off
>Main town is attacked by an undead army, Dragons or some themed villian shitposting about some slight that you run off to kill and steal his showcase clothing
>True meta is discovering unpatched game glitches and exploits with pet, and item mechanics.

And none of this even comes remotely CLOSE to scratching even the bare surface of the insanity that this universe has. Seriously, it's like the later games are all striving to outdo each other in the "What The Actual Everliving Fuck?" Department.

Dude, did you post in the right thread?

>Not Knowing about the 3D game
InsertLaughingShadowScythe.Jpg here.

He did. Boy, he did.

ITT: Someone who literally never touched it thinks he knows better than people who did.