What are Elves bad at?

What are Elves bad at?

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Not getting raped.

Classic "high fantasy" elves suck at almost anything and are boring.
Usually cyberpunk or post-apocalyptic elves are cool (Dark Sun?)

Half elves are the coolest of them all.

>high fantasy elves aren’t good at anything
Honestly false though. Elves smithing is considered high quality. They’re the best mages and archers. Usually depicted as stonger, faster than humans with keener senses, etc.

I didn’t make this thread to shit on elves (believe it or not). My party is usually exclusively elves, so I want to throw a curve ball at them

Well, I meant more like: I fucking hate them, as does the rest of the world. Why you ask? Because there's very few things they are bad at

Not sucking dick.

Must we absolutely have multiple elf threads at all times?

>Being recognized as the appropriate gender.
>Not being arrogant pricks.
>sleeping
>Reproduction
>Finding hats that fit right with those stupidly large ears

Well, detecting and dealing with the treachery or races lesser than themselves. It sure fucked up the Noldor in the Tolkien's work.

They can be rather stubborn and rigid with their thinking and understanding of the world around them. Imagine an old man, except he was immortal, never left his woodland home and was even slower to adapt to situations he has no experience with. He might be insanely good with a bow or an eldritch reality warping wizard, but he's hopeless at dealing with things he doesn't understand and is too stubborn to think that there's any way except his to solve a problem.

Being sexually dimorphic

So, nothing? Elves are just perfect at everything?

Now I know why you guys hate them I kinda hate them too

I mean, if you’re literally 50,000 years old and remember when language and housing was invented, you’re gonna be knowledgeable about pretty much everything

Elves are perfect for their given environments, and a race perfected threw the millenia. A masterpiece of a race, just like every other race

You could also be the sort of person who thinks the only correct way to build a house is to pile stones on each other and that the young'uns are doing it wrong.

Engineering and anything that requires wood.

Making friends.
Which is why Veeky Forums hates them so much.

Procreating.

That is true. I appreciate your answer, user. I’ll have to hope my player’s Elves are old

Not being delicious

cheap practicality, hard work, not underestimating, also, and this is just a hunch, but it's huge:
they are awful at teaching.

Hubris. Elves are arrogant, everyone keeps saying, but it's more that yeah, elves are supposed be somewhat idyllic. It's a tough rap, because where that trope comes from is that the narrative counterweight was unabashed tragedy. Not just in the "abloobloobloo I have a sad backstory" way that is a stereotype about elf players, but that literally they were supposed to have been basically so blessed and awesome and STILL FUCKED UP by virtue of their overconfidence and intense character flaws (Hi Fëanor) that they no longer are relevant world-players in the way that humans are.

Basically I'm saying tailor something to your party's skills so exactly and hype them up as being saviors before the job is done that they go in thinking they were made to do this, and then fuck them up with any and all curve balls you can tailor to each player's personality (if you're a good DM) or combat abilities (if you're an asshole). Ideally don't kill them, but attack their egos instead. Who knows, you might get some good roleplaying out of it?

Get out.

>elves in lotr taught their entire culture to humans
>elves in warhammer taught magic to humans
>elves in wacraft also taught magic to humans
Completely ridiculous statement, if anything, elves are worse at following their own teachings than they are at teaching.

Hey man you might want to cover the nipples of that buff girl. You will get banned

Well, in old Icelandic myths and folklore, elves are REALLY bad at giving birth for some reason. They basically can't do it without human assistance: the stories of humans (usually but not exclusively women) that were asked and invited to their homesteads to assist with labor are quite literally THE most frequent type of story about elves on Iceland.
Usually the human did not even have to do much - just be there, sometimes physically touch the pregnant she-elf and that was it.

Classical Anglo-saxon elves tended to be really bad at NOT GETTING SHITFACED AND TALKING SHIT.

And germanic elves were bad at not making everyone around miserable. German elves are actually absolute cunts that just do nothing but steal babies and cause nightmares.

And - in the inevitable AKSHUALY IN MAY UNIQUE-DO-NOT-STEAL SETTINGS, elves could not actually use magic. Magic was exclusively a human thing. They were also - as usually, bad at giving birth, fighting, manning the hell up, and generally being useful.
They were pretty to look at though.

Excellent idea desu. I’ll give them this standard to live up to. I’ll have the human townsfolk be let down and almost despair when our resident party lecher hits the tavern.

I strongly recommend to take a look at the movie "Man of Earth" and read the short story called "The Immortals" by Borges. Then actually reconsider this outlook.

Elves hate rapid changes.
They have very long lifespans which results in them being very slow in integrating new and different things and concepts into their society which results in them being very uppity towards other short living beings like for example humans who can adapt fast into any given situation if they need to.
Yes they are very good in archery, smithing magic and fighting etc. but give them something new like a crossbow, a gun, exotic or recently developed melee weapons other than swords, axes, daggers (for example stuff like polearms and flails) or a recently developed way of using magic and they will either act like a fish out of water or they will just say that a gun will never beat a long bow or that it will never replace the sword.
This can also be used in stuff like military doctrines because Elves trying to beat guerilla warfare would result in the elves getting stomped hard ( if they still act like medieval armies that is).

tl;dr: Elves are only good at the things that you mentioned which results in them being far too specialised give them something new and strange to them and they will have no idea what to do with it except maybe to mock it.

>Keeps posting the same Warcraft-esque abomination in every thread about elves.
Wew.

>Well, in old Icelandic myths and folklore, elves are REALLY bad at giving birth for some reason. They basically can't do it without human assistance: the stories of humans (usually but not exclusively women) that were asked and invited to their homesteads to assist with labor are quite literally THE most frequent type of story about elves on Iceland.
>Usually the human did not even have to do much - just be there, sometimes physically touch the pregnant she-elf and that was it.

>keeps posting the same asinine assertion in every thread about elves.
The actual wew.

I think they'd only teach the most gifted students, they'd give up on the dim and the stubborn rather quickly.
I'd imagine they'd find teaching an ungrateful task, something that needs to be done. That they'd sigh and cringe every day before entering the classroom full of humans and dwarves.
They'd be good at setting up a structure for it, they'd force themselves to the teacher's desk out of a sense of duty, or love for their discipline.

I really do still think that they wouldn't be good at the act of teaching.

If I had to bet on someone to teach an orc how to play the fiddle, I'd pick a human before an elf.

Pitching but not catching.

Making friends

Being real.

My elves at least are kind of shitty at things not related to their Mask, which is their chosen profession/narrative role. They're essentially perfect at what they are good at, though. No one and nothing can compare. The trick to beating one is to get them to compete with you in something that is just outside their wheelhouse but that they can be convinced isn't, which can shatter their sense of self and cause them to vanish in a puff of self loathing

>That was my first post in the thread.
Wewwww.

Everything, just like humans. For every elf good at something there will be an elf bad at that same thing. There are elves who can't fight, others who can't write poetry, others bad at magic.
The very idea of an entire race being unable to perform a specific task is absolutely insane and worthy of ridicule.
The only exception are things they can't do because they literally can't perform such action, like breathing underwater, because they don't have gills

They fail at being more perfect than pic related.

Being interesting

>What are Elves bad at?
Being the chosen of the gods.

Honestly, they're great at arcane magic or nature magic, can be faster, stronger, smarter in some case, but the gods will never love them. Will never care for them as they do the children of Adam. Elves are given a better, longer life in the mortal realm, and then nothing.

This is as good as it gets for you, elves. But for Men, this world is but a stepping stone to ever-greater Divinity.

depends on whether they're male or female

Being relatable.

This legitimately. In almost every setting it takes a long time for elves to have kids. This makes me believe that they suck in wars of attrition, which is every war basically.

>Not even a good art of male Warcraft Blood Elf
Stop posting your shitty dehydrated art.

That's not an unreal depiction. Warcraft elf men are pretty jacked, night elves more so than blood elves but still.

Copping with their emotions. Or rather, they are better at that than any human will ever be, but they are twice as Emo as any human will ever be too.
So they inevitably end up either overwhelmed with grief and go chill to the Elfland beyond the sea, or converting accumulated grief into Spite and become ebil dark elves.

Change, taking charge of fate etc.

being interesting

Such dehydrated look IS unreal for Warcraft. They may be jacked, but they are not dehydrated.

Maybe he's back from Molten Core

Their long lifespans necessitates an extended adolescence, which is particularly disruptive to their super fey emo psychology. Basically young elves are moody and vulnerable for a period of several decades before they harden the fuck up and become great warriors and scholars.

Adult elves suffer from tragedy more than any other race (assuming their immortal) and even if they live for 1000 years then they've still encountered enough sorrow to teach them that being detached from other race groups is the best option. An elf won't be charismatic, they will be so wise that a hermits life is perfectly understandable.

>how your characters will differentiate
-did my elf become jaded
-does he still have hope
- will he accept a near sure loss without trying to stop it even if it seems to humans like there is a chance to do something.

There is a difference between being emo and brooding and being beaten down over and over by the world to the point where all elves are raised with this sense of detached tragedy is almost the norm.

Elves are very slow learners. Yes, they're wise beyond comprehension, but that's mostly because they're almost immortal and thus have all the time in the world to learn things. Why else do you think that the average elf youth is no smarter or more capable than the average human adolescent, despite being over 300 years old? Elven wisdom comes from having an absurd lifespan and an extremely good memory, not from natural intelligence or insight.

Elves are piss-poor innovators. There's a reason why, for all their wisdom and arcane power, elves are overshadowed by humans, dwarves and gnomes in terms of practical inventions. Elves are traditionalists for two main reasons: First is that their unshakable confidence in their natural superiority gives them little incentive to improve. If you're already the best, why try harder? Second is that they're very set in their ways and they're mentally very rigid. They know how things are done and lack the inclination to figure out why they're done that way, or whether there's any other way to do it.

Elves are emotionally vulnerable to a ridiculous degree. Sure, we all know elves as these haughty, composed creatures. But have you ever seen a sad elf? Elves don't just get sad like humans do. Elves can actually die of a broken heart. When in mourning, they often stop eating and drinking entirely and just waste away. An elf can literally cry itself to death. And it's not just sadness that works this way. If you manage to piss off an elf, you'd better be prepared to kill it, because if not it will go to any lengths to make your life into a hell until it's finally satisfied that you've learned your lesson. It will stop at nothing to make sure you get what's yours (or at least, what it believes to be yours). It will murder its way halfway across the world just to get to you, if that's what it takes.

Just posting in this thread to remind everyone toned elf abs are a miracle of the universe.

Commerce, mostly due to their superiority complex

FPBP

Came here to say this

>tater miracle
How far has this gotten, anywy?

Damn I want to rub that tummy.

It's great how this is worked into the elf of Rivendell culture in TOR.

"Shadow" is a measure of the character's experiences with evil things, places, or actions (performed by them or others). It turns them bitter and detached at best, sending them into the grasps of evil at worst. High Elves can't chose to reduce their Shadow rating the normal way during the Fellowship phase (ie; in the downtime between adventures), and instead have to distance themselves from the world, marking one of their skills (the higher the skill rating, the more shadow reduction). Using a marked skills then carries the extra risk of failing and getting +1 Shadow points, meaning they retain the effects of the Shadow permanently in some shape or form, unlike the other races.

Well, it's this or departing Middle-Earth for Valinor.

I wish I was a qt elf

When you guys find out what we're bad at send me a massage, alright?

Choice of headgear

I wish my gf was a qt elf

You shut your mouth

Actually listening when a "lesser race" knows something they don't.

Avoiding venereal diseases.

Deferring to others.
Elves always think they know better than you even if you've been mining for nearly 200 years and they've never spent more than a couple hours underground.

TOR is an underated system

Depends on the setting.

For the vikings, Elves sucked at leaving a lasting legacy, for all their importance it takes mankind’s personality with an Elf’s superiority to be a true hero. All the great kings are descended from Elves and men.

To Tolkien, they don’t suck at things so much as they don’t care about the same things humans do, but their greatest fault may be that all races were created with an expiration date and Elves as the intended first are about to disappear.

In Moorcock and Warhammer, its that Elves drift between cruel complacency because they get into a place of comfort followed by autistic zeal because they cannot use logic to temper their emotions plus the fact everything is doomed anyway. Warhammer also has everything equally doomed, but the Elf gods are like Moorcock mortal Elves to an even further extreme and their squabbles threaten to wipe out the Elves earlier than doomsday.

In the standard tropes, its low population combined with the rise of evil and the rapid spread of humanity as a type of non-evil horde which is pushing them towards extinction. The fact they seem to constantly fall in love with nonElves and grieve lost loves forever combined with low birth rate isn’t helping.

In TES its the fact that Elves are very in touch with the chaotic, batshit insane reality while humans survive the whims of gods and changes to the time/space continuum better.

In almost all fiction, singular Elves are superior beings, but as a group they tend to become retarded assholes. Inverse law of ninjas combined with mob mentality. Elf Gaston is kind of a regular theme.

This is where this thread should have ended.

Fuck you, Eru!

What are humans bad at?

>elves in wacraft also taught magic to humans

Unlike Warhammer, Warcraft humans actually equal or surpass the elves at magic.

>Unlike Warhammer
>who is Nagash

>What are humans bad at?

Nothing.

We are superior!

I am reminded of a greentext I saw once about Elves' and Humans' differing philosophy on the teaching of magic. I'm not going to remember any specifics, but the punchline was something like "Elvish initiates spend a decade meditating and harmonizing their soul with mana before attempting to cast a single spell. Conversely, half the Human freshman class just exploded, but good news - the survivors can now cast Fireball!"

not being bad at anything =/= being perfect at everything

speed, precision, short lifespams, illusory hubris without the natural right to be so proud.

high elves are the master race.

their one flaw is that they have low libido, meaning they are the few elite that every single one is worth hundreds or thousands of his number, but they are a supreme elite even then.

It's a shame really. When I see people talk about TOR on Veeky Forums, which is rarely, it's almost always praise. But does it lead to any discussions? Not really. I'm not sure people are aware of it.

The looks.

Elves are bad at spelling

>high elves are the master race.

If only they used their high lifespans and intelligence for something useful.

A united Human-Elves empire could easily destroy any opposition they face.

Human Tech + Elves Magic = Very Dead Enemy

few settings are honest about it.

Self Discipline, according to Rolemaster.

Literally the only elf that looks like this.

Thalmor are only good for murder-raping.

Damn straight,

I don't know.
Damn straight.
youtu.be/RndEv06h2qU

When I massage I mean it, faggot

*blocks your path*

Das a cute elfboi

t: am faggot

Also a faggot, would definitely ride him

Notice that his torso isn't as wide as it is long.

>so perverted he bumfucks himself
there is darkness is the bums of men.

Would viciously ass fuck desu.

I don't think you realise that even Tolkien wanted his illustrators to depict Legolas as a musclebro.

Well that's just going too far. If he likes elfs so much, why didn't he marry one?

He wanted to be a hobbit, not an elf, if you wonder. Elves were creatures of unattainable beauty to admire from a distance, while hobbits embodied his personal ideals in life.