Let's say a goddess decided to test your party by putting a goblin youth in their care and awarding them based on how...

Let's say a goddess decided to test your party by putting a goblin youth in their care and awarding them based on how well they raised it.

Could your party be a good foster family, Veeky Forums?

Which goddess was it? The answer decides how much of a fuck the party gives.

No. Even if it wanted to that would probably just make things worse.

why the fuck would anyone in a group of parents want to roleplay taking care of another fucking kid

I'm unsure of how good the party is at raising well adjusted kids, but they will certainly teach her how to punch really, really hard

Wholeheartedly refuse because somebody is surely going to molest him/her in the party, i'm certain of it.

I had a character that gained a goblin daughter. It ended with me sending a bolt of energy through her skull.

That kid is gonna die.

Not because we meant to kill it.

But just because we'd be such shitty parents.

If we knew that it was a test, probably. If not, goblin gonna die. Neutral party don't give no fucks about killing children of evil races, better to kill it now than to have it fuck us over later

I'd be the best parent a goblin would have by killing it instantly. This saves it a lifetime's worth of shit-filled caves, thievery and violence that they WILL crave for down the their very core regardless of what any idiotic goddess says, and saves their future victims down the line from having their property destroyed or themselves from being injured, murdered, or raped.

Everyone wins.

Damn kid should've just agreed to her nap :/

how long before I try marry it?

not long.

>Everyone wins.
Except you and your party because your stupid asses just got smote for purposefully killing a little kid that a deity had entrusted into your care. Enjoy getting raped for all eternity in your local Hell-equivalent.

fucking kill yourself pedshit rat

>implying a god you don't worship has power over your soul

>that goddess is the only deity
>that deity's angels/servants would match anything like your pic because goblins ARE evil beings, regardless of nurture, regardless of their own attempts to become civilized, and regardless of what some baka of a goddess thought by actively sending such a creature into a party that contains a paladin of an (apparently) opposite aligned deity

Good luck faget, I got my god on speed-dial.

Maybe the real test was whether you had the balls to eliminate evil no matter what form it takes

As a wise man once said

Whats his name again?

Is it too much to ask to raise him/her as a pure goblin?

This was from the railroad king, one of my past DMs, past for a reason. How to boil down a year long story arc:
>use charm person on a goblin
>le mind controlled, she thinks you're papa
>comes up with a million hijinks that prevent me from dumping her in an orphanage
>continually pretend she doesn't exist, and act bemused when expected to act like a father
>eventually defeat the railroad and dump her in some NPC's care
>in game years later she's some evil goblin chief or whatever working for the bug devil
>B O L T E D
I bought her a pretty dress once though so it evens out.

Goblin Slayer is the only name he is given in the manga (in fact no characters have given names)

baby basher

Yes, like the noble pitbull that completes a perilous journey to heroicallybite it's owners face off, goblins are born from evil. They will forever yearn and commit light to horrendous acts on anyone around them depending on their mood. They revel in causing others despair, doubly so if they get something out of it.

Listen to this man. It will save some idiot down the road who thinks like you do now.

>you don't like my plot device? your character dies
I'm not sure you're a good fit for DMing a game

I'll take my chances.

>Not liking your players being mindless murderhobos makes you a bad DM
And I'm not sure you're a good fit for a player in any tabletop RPG of note.

Will the goddess punish me for fucking it? No wait, better question, how BAD will I be punished for fucking it, just so I know what to prepare for.

user, under that argument, we should just kill all humans.
Whenever you let humans do what they want, they always wind up covered in shit, raping each other, and piercing their nipples with highly radioactive minerals.

Pussy Slayer

>people who say you should kill all goblins are the pussies who are afraid of pitbulls
That explains so much.

The whole point is to promote peace and tolerance between two races. Big human dick is a perfect tool for that.

>In other news, Jim the Laborer was killed at his lumbermill the other day after his goblin finally couldn't hold in the evil within itself. He had apparently been attempting to domesticate and care for the creature since it was sprout and believed it's call to evil destroyed. We go now to Jill who's live at the scene, Jill?
>Yes Tom, I'm told by the local patrol who arrived on the scene that the body was so unrecognizable when they had arrived that they only way they knew who was killed was by finding the goblin in the woods wearing the deceased man's face as a mask. The investigation is still ongoing but these are were guardsmen and have had consistent shit-rolls at this time. The remains that have been found so far have been gathered and sent to the local temple for an attempt at resurrection but it seems that, after a brief discussion with the deity of his following, feels he would immediately die of embarrassment since he seriously trusted a goblin to do anything, Bob.

Man, I've raised dogs, and not only is this behavior cowardly as fuck, it's REALLY not a big deal if you get bit every so often.
I mean, that dog I had that was brain damaged would bite me frequently. Real bad too, breaking the skin and worrying it around. However, I am not a child, and was able to pull it off and give it disciplinary strikes easily.

Thus, I can only assume the people saying to kill all goblins are the truest form of cowards, or children.

>written into most settings as being evil by nature
>"Fucking murderhobos for not letting this future murderer kill you guys in your sleep, or someone else when they reach maturity. amirite?"

What a moron you are.

Edge Master

Depends on the setting

wow, racist

Actually most settings have them not ping as evil because they are far too weak.

You and everyone you know has to be terminally retarded AND weak AND cowardly before goblins become a threat. I mean, look at that goblin hunter manga. They had to make everyone in the world absolutely garbage to make goblins even slightly threatening.

If the DM created this goblin child for them to look after, so presumably in the DM's world this is not the case.

>but I want it to be the case

Then you are an edgelord pretending to be a moralfag.

>wowwwwww just let it maul you man lmao who cares don't be a baby

Not even an anti-goblin fag but this is some goofy logic. Silly dogfag.

Well, my party is full of murderhobos who have eaten both deceased party members so far, and has no sense of morals or responsibility


most likely outcome: baby used as meatshield

least likely and worst outcome: The chaotic evil artificer wizard psychopath gets the baby

No, literally, who cares?
I am easily strong enough to keep this dog from hurting anyone else, and I'm not a pussy so I don't mind being bit every so often.

The dog died happily of old age (and cancer) without ever harming anybody but me, and I was always fine.

>rocks fall you die DM
nah, you deserve murderhobo players

also, you don't just let it maul you.
You tear it the fuck off when it does so with your HUMAN MIGHT. Which is much greater than a dog's, or a goblin's.

It can also be presumed that the DM is new, and hasnt read the lore of the setting/system he is currently using and is an idiot.

>but thats not the case I want it to be

Then you are bringing up a hypothetical situation that is, lets be honest here, are usually fixed by """meme-posts""" such as "depends on the setting." We dont know the system he's using, but the most popular make the evil by default with their origins justifying it through their creation.

but user, in most settings lores, goblins not only don't ping as evil, but are only mostly evil, and can be raised otherwise pretty easily.

I can't think of a single setting outside of edgy manga where they are the always evil little demonids you describe.

There is one person in the party that is actually capable of raising a child, and four that probably wouldn't fuck it up. Everyone else is to crazy or weird for it

>Implying that I'd run any stupid standard fantasy crap in the first place
M8, I'm more likely to run fucking pic related than that shit. Fuck outta here with your bullshit and projection.

All it says is that you're really fucking bad at training dogs, too retarded to pay for someone who ISN'T retarded to train it for you, and highly irresponsible as an owner.

But Humanity Fuck Yeah justifies anything, apparently. First time I've seen HFY used as the White Man's Burden, though.

>Dog/goblin attacks smaller human, like a kid for instance
>"Should have just ripped it off with your humanity "FUCK YEAH" strength you fucking retard."

This is what you sound like. Not everyone is an adult, not everyone is physically fit, and certainly not everyone is capable of handling a goblin raid on their homestead because fuck-nuggets like you letting them live because of some misguided sense of morality.

>WAAAH MY DM PUNISHED ME FOR SLITTING THE THROATS OF BABIES!!! I'M CHAOTIC GOOD! THAT MEANS I'M ALLOWED TO DO WHAT I WANT!!
Nah, awful player confirmed. I doubt you even play TTRPGs, you're most likely a cross-board shitposter.

no, the dog was actually brain damaged. The thing got beaten severely by the last owner in many locations including the head, and was shot at one point.

All my other dogs have actually been quite sweet.

Really, it's not so much HFY as "jesus christ what kind of extreme pussy do you have to be"

You run a deviantart campaign? I guess that lines up with what you've said.

But user, it never did attack a child. Because I am significantly smarter than a dog, and can control where it goes.
Are you not smarter than a dog? Have you been outfoxxed by a fox? Is that goblin going to beat you at your own game?

>Not Knowing about Nobilis
And that's how I know this line of discussion isn't worth my fucking time. Thanks for the laughs though.

Who knew goblin lolis were in fact made of refined skub?

fun news : goblins aren't doggos

You are literally cowards.

Fun fact: that only makes them easier to train.

Yes they do. And unless you're picking obscure systems/settings that hardly anyone plays they are, by nature, evil.

And even if most don't, which I'll even give you that maybe most do not explicitly say in writing "Yes, goblins are evil creatures and will always be" most do not have examples of the opposite. In the more popular ones like Pathfinder or D&D they are evil and are described as such. Looking into their origins leads you to ancient corruption of an ancestor or spawning from an evil god at the seeding of the world.

They are, usually, evil in all senses of the word.

I mean...define "a good foster family".

Will the kid be loved and well cared for and taught that hurting others is wrong? Absolutely. Will the kid be kept out of harms way while they're growing up? Sure. Will they ever go hungry or want for affection? Not at all. Unless they've been misbehaving, then they get time out or no desert. But that's fair.

But will my character, who is a plucky thief already (based on Aladdin), probably teach the kid the tricks of the trade and stress that while you shouldn't take from those who can't afford it and should never hurt anyone, it's perfectly okay to rob from the rich? Yes.

Presumably it's the goddess of "fuck you it doesn't matter what I'm the goddess of, I'm a fucking goddess and you do what I say or there will be CONSEQUENCES."

No, they don't user.
Goblins are low level enemies, which don't ping as evil, because they're too low level. Gotta be at least level 5.

Have you ever played a tabletop?

>durr dis dog is almost as retarded as me but it's okay as long as I'm the one that keeps getting bitten!
Just put the fucking thing down, retard. Why wouldn't you? Where the fuck is this "cowardice" meme coming from? Just because you're such a fucking beta you'll put up with a literal retard dog nomming on your arm doesn't mean any rational person would.

Killing children is going to make the vast majority of people uncomfortable, regardless of what the setting says.

If you make your players kill children, or you are a player who kills children the DM has presented you with, you are going to be looked at as an edgelord because no one should be that casual about killing children.

>why wouldn't you?
Because I liked the dog, I could count on it to fuck up intruders and wild animals, and I am not a literal coward like you who is afraid of getting bitten occasionally.

You have no place calling anyone a beta when you are too fearful to take any damage whatsoever to your pasty, fragile body.

not my goddess

Only good goblin is a dead goblin.

>coward
you keep using that word...

Robert Paulson

cow·ard
ˈkou(ə)rd/
noun
noun: coward; plural noun: cowards

1.
a person who lacks the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things.

They are literal dictionary definition cowards.

If Goblin Slayer was actually a good story, he would have encountered a good goblin by now.

If goblin slayer was a good story, goblin slayer would never have happened because the humans are actually competent enough to fend off a weaker, dumber species that is less able to reproduce.

You could train a non retarded dog to do the same thing and it probably wouldn't bite you.
>and I am not a literal coward like you who is afraid of getting bitten occasionally.
There's the cowardice meme again. Do you feel like a big strong man every time you call someone a coward on the internet?
Because I feel like a very intelligent man every time I tell you you're a retard for putting up with being bitten. You could have exactly what you wanted without the negative of being bitten, why wouldn't you? Because you're retarded.

>In the more popular ones like Pathfinder or D&D they are evil and are described as such
That must be why they're alignment is noted as "always Evil". I knew I must have been misreading that; "usually Evil" struck me as too cringy Gray Jedi for my DEUS VULT campaigns.

Their level has nothing to do with it. Be they hags, a pit fiend, orcs, goblins, or gnolls they are all evil. They obviously differ in their levels of "evilness" but throw an unarmed person into a group of any of the above and they will almost always end up dead in horrific ways.

>I'm not a coward, I just don't want to get hurt!
adjective
adjective: coward

1.
literary
excessively afraid of danger or pain.

Bunch of literal dictionary definition cowards in this thread.

look most people wouldn't take care of a thing that is capable of killing them and just because you took care of a dog that had serious problems don't make you judge of courage or some shit.

>exactly what you wanted
Sounds like "caring for an abused dog" was what he wanted, user.

It actually has quite a lot to do with it. They don't ping as evil if they're not strong enough.

If you'd notice user, most people are afraid of even the most minor amount of pain or consequence in first world countries.

>you are going to be looked at as an edgelord because no one should be that casual about killing children

Says who? I've done this sort of thing with my players before (was an orc child) and it took about three sentences worth of "conversation" or so for everyone to agree to kill it. Went along the lines of
>Well, what do we do with it?
>Kill it, obviously. It's not even a half-orc but a full blooded, Gruumsh-loving, "I'm mad so your face should sharpen my club" orc.
>Makes sense.

Yeah, it's not like I'm going to let that dog die just because it got brain damaged and shot.
ESPECIALLY because it was free.

You can have good stories with universally evil goblins. You can also have good stories where all goblins are horrifically murdered for their crime of existing.

Goblin slayer isn't a good story, but putting "good" goblins in there wouldn't make it any better.

It's called pragmatism my dude.
Is it better to have a non retarded dog that doesn't bite you, or a retarded dog that does it you? Difficult decision, take your time.

I don't know why it upsets you so much when someone uses the dictionary definition of the word coward.

I think user is a pretty cool . Eh taek care of retard dogs and doesn’t afraid of anything.

Well, considering the one dog is free of charge, and not taking it would result in it getting killed, and the only problem that arose from the dog was a little bit of personal pain, it's pretty obvious the pragmatic answer is the brain damaged dog. Assuming you live in a culture where you can get high proof alcohol.

The only reason you wouldn't take the damaged dog in this scenario is if you were afraid of being bitten.

Honestly all but three or so parties I've been in would be bad parents.
The notable failures would be
>The EotE group, mostly because they were stuck on a goddamned prison planet, the Trando would pop off random shots and accidentally provoke retaliation from AT-STs, and the NPCs were worse.
>The not!Europe PF party, mostly because the CN Sorcerer/Lock was a roman half-elf whose sexual preference was "yes", the CE half-elf rogue was a Werewolf, and the TN Wood-elf ranger would accidentally set it on fire in one of his moments of absolute retardation.
>The HORDES Unleashed party, because the kid'd wind up in the Gatormen's stew pot before long, probably after the Tharn EDGEchief murdered it to prove his EDGE.

Trips are wasted on brain dead morons like you.
There's nothing cowardly about not wanting to get bitten. I don't want to eat a pile of shit either. Go eat shit, coward? What's that? You don't want to eat the shit? HEY EVERYONE THIS COWARD WONT EAT SHIT! Not like me, I'll munch down on those turds all day long, I'm a big strong man! I'm not afraid of eating shit!

Well, that too, but I'm willing to make allowances for the author wanting to write a story about someone who in his past lost everything to goblins and so became monomaniacally obsessed with fighting goblins.

But said monomaniacal obsession becomes less and less interesting over time, especially if the character is never proven wrong or even challenged in his worldview. Even something as simple as a goblin granting him mercy when he was injured or something - something to make him question himself.

But nope.

I can't speak as to Pathfinder as I don't have the core rulebook handy, but I've opened my 3.5 Monster Manual to page 133 and can see clearly that it says "usually Neutral Evil", which means that a majority (51% or greater) are that alignment but enough exceptions exist to be noteworthy - and I see no reason why all the exceptions would drift to Lawful or Chaotic and not up to Neutral or even the occasional Good.

For the record, gnomes are listed as "usually Neutral Good", but I doubt anyone on Veeky Forums would seriously question the validity of an evil gnome.

It has absolutely nothing to do with it. They are capable of "intelligent" thoughts and can weigh the risk of attacking you now or attacking you later with 9 of it's brood you dunce.

They are low level enemies because of their individual stats, obviously. This has nothing to do with their disposition as a race, that what their racial DESCRIPTION is about.

It comes down to whether you think Always Chaotic Evil is a good idea or not.

Like nearly everything in Tabletop "it depends on the setting"

Also some weird shit about pitbulls.

All but three would be fine, I mean...
Those three are the bad examples.

Why are you getting so upset that someone used the dictionary definition of the word coward?
Why are you now finding resort in hyperbole and deflection?

I'm of the opinion where there's no such thing as a good or 'neutral' goblin. You're either forcing a sentient creature to live its life counter to its innate desires or you're getting rid of the goblin before it can cause serious harm. You can suppress its actions while it's small and impressionable, sure. Thing is, at some point it's going to think for itself. When it realizes that the life that it's lived up until then has been not just a little, but COMPLETELY contrary to what it's always felt deep down, any bad influence that would have had a minor impact on a neutral creature will send it so far down a dark path that there will be no coming back for it.

Under perfect circumstances, you could raise a good goblin. I'm just of the opinion that tabletops have minor evils along the way and that no party is together forever.

Nuke the goblin.

Anything can be skub. The cuter/sexier the skub, the better. And a goblin loli is both.

Really nothing is skub until anons interpret it as skub. It’s all quantum skub.

By your definition faggot emos who cut themselves are brace because they embrace pain.
Go eat the shit tough guy.

The risk is going to be pretty damn high either way, compared to the rewards they get from operating as sociopathic businessmen. Which is the ideal place for goblins.

Intelligence or hard work are far less important when it comes to actually making money than having no empathy.

Well too fucking bad, prepare to be railroaded into "lightning strike kills you" by shit DMs.