I really think the "Rebels"/Alliance or whatever they are calling themselves now really need to just stop and give it a...

>blow up death star 2 almost three decades ago
>die in a pointless, shitily crafted space battle
Being Nub is suffering.

Uhhh this is an unregistered broadcast from the Rebellion, man. Fuck the Empire dude, just say no to cannibalism, Jedi are real!

>Han Solo is coming out in 3 months and there isn't even a reveal trailer

Honestly I'm expecting it to have all those other planets flock to the Resistance when it looks like they are winning or have a chance to win like Kylo Ren turning on their side or something.

But in my mind, the colors they showed now are all the proof needed to see what faith people have in a republic. This was the time to test the republic and it wasn't their finest hour, this was their worst. Any government based on that is just going to be another facade exactly like this one was.

Probably for the best. I think I'm just done with Star Wars at this point.

Wait, what the fuck? Why is it scheduled for the end of May? Isn't that kind'a dumb? I imagine most people will feel like they just watched a new Star Wars film only a few months prior (which they did), and won't really be up for a second so soon. That's super dumb.

What's coming out in December on Disney's end that they'd pull this kind of shit?

>I think I'm just done with Star Wars at this point.

Red Letter Media had a fascinating aside during their review of The Last Jedi that questioned why people even have this much undying loyalty to Star Wars in the first place. It's a bunch of grown-ups acting like children over a franchise that is practically a political/religious statement.

Disney has zero faith in the product. The guy playing Solo is a generic white guy hired due to nepotism (Spielberg met him at a Bar Mitzvah), the main princess character is Emilia Clarke (who is a failed action movie actress due to an inability to act) and the movie itself has been reshot about two or three times.

I remember years ago people on Veeky Forums talked about how glad they were to distance themselves from the EU.

I wonder if they are singing the same tune now.

>questioned why people even have this much undying loyalty to Star Wars
Says the fucking Star Trek fan. Mike can be a real hypocrite sometimes.

What boggles my mind about this setup is that everyones somehow so incompetent yet theres supposed to be tension and a serious conflict going on.

The resistance:
>their entire job is to watch out for the first order in that section of space and to defend the new republic.
>first order builds a x10 deathstar and new weapons under their nose. They only learn about how to kill it from a defunct space janitor who was only lying about it so he could go after rey.
>this is also after they get the new republic destroyed, the one thing they were made to protect.

Then you have the first order:
>has bigger toys than the empire could dream of despite being a remnant faction
>x10 deathstar the size of a aplanet doesnt have enough ordinance to take out a few fighters who blow it up. This is after of course the leader of your fanatical indoctrinated troops lower the shields instead of being loyal and gets thrown in the garbage
>then in the first scene of the next movie they lose their giant nu-deathstar to literal one fighter and one bomber. Under the leadership of general ragdoll who just gets another slap on the wrist.
>this is supposed to help us build tension in the story.

I just cant fathom what the writers were thinking.

>x10 deathstar the size of a aplanet doesnt have enough ordinance to take out a few fighters who blow it up.

That's what the TIE fighters are for you silly billy, the TIE Fighters that are totally different from the Empire's TIE fighters because these ones are painted black, have a gunner and hyperdrives!

He wasn't razzing fans for liking Star Wars. He was talking about the creepy, cult-like mentality of the Star Wars fandom. There's this sweeping loyalty to the brand, where you have these giant arenas filled to the brim with grown men in $1800 Chewbacca costumes absolutely losing their shit over a trailer for a movie everyone knows is coming out. Repeat every single fucking year.

And he goes after Star Trek fans as well. Or did you forget when he fucking ate pieces to the TNG board game?

porno where chewbacca throat fucks rey while porgs watch

I sure as fuck still am. The Vader comic is fun, most of the remaining new EU swings between crap and okay, but there has yet to come something as ludicrously retarded as the darkest points of the EU. Even shit like Aftermath and Catalyst haven't reached Shadows or Crystal Heart levels, at least to me. Nothing from the new EU or movies aside from the fucking hyperspace allahu ackbar has ripped the holes the old EU did.

Somehow the stakes are higher but not really and somehow the first order is bigger and better despite being the butt of every joke in every scene. Its such an unmitigated mess and it surprises me that people can defend either movie.

...

Bullshit. Stoklasa wasn't thrilled with Jew Jew Trek.

Oi, don't you be denigrating the TIE/sf. Just because the series they're in is questionable doesn't mean the poor TIEs are to blame. The TIE/sf is a glorious piece of post-Imperial machinery that deserves respect.

It's amazing how Abrams' trilogy has amounted to fucking nothing so far. Nothing of note actually happened in the greater scheme of things. We have no idea how big the resistance was in the first place, we are only told it has been fucked up. We have no idea how important that one planet they blew up really was. It's just a whole bunch of fucking nothing.

And then fucking BATTLEFRONT 2 goes and glasses Naboo because hurrdurr fuck the prequels. Leave Naboo alone you fucks, its design was magnitudes more interesting than anything that came from the Disney Age so far.

At least my original waifu is still alive and chancellor of the republic.

I enjoyed TFA, which I'm sure will get me a bunch of (You)'s from angry fa/tg/uys calling me a soyboy shill cuck. Yeah it played things pretty safe but I found the story engaging enough and it felt genuinely like a Star Wars movie. Far better than any of the Prequels.

TLJ I'm more mixed on. I didn't hate it, and I still liked it better than the Prequels, but it wasn't as fun. It had some things I liked--mostly the buildup of Rey and Kylo's relationship--but everything else was just such a mess. Even the relationship between Rey and Kylo wound up being ultimately pointless because at the end they're basically right back where they started.

Movie should've just ended with him fucking her brains out on the corpses of those red dudes.

Daily reminder

It's funny because this is true.

That being said, at least the Old republic, for its lack of an effective mlitary, lasted for thousands of years.

>their entire job is to watch out for the first order in that section of space and to defend the new republic.
>first order builds a x10 deathstar and new weapons under their nose. They only learn about how to kill it from a defunct space janitor who was only lying about it so he could go after rey.
Honestly this. All throughout TFA I was wondering how the Republic's intelligence network could be this bad. The sheer amount of resources Starkiller would have taken to build alone should've tipped them off that the First Order was up to something big, and given that they aspire to be the nu-Empire, it shouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to realize what that would be.

Imagine if North Korea got nukes and no one even knew they were developing nukes until they fired a bunch of ICBMs and obliterated the mainland U.S. That is the only scenario I can think of that even comes close to how badly the Republic fucked up.

>citizens of this galaxy have a choice between a useless bureaucracy, dangerous lawlessness, or a fascist police state that builds things called "death stars".

Why would anyone want to live in this universe.

Its perfectly fine to enjoy bad movies, fuck I watch ep 3 every so often because sheev is entertaining. However when people legitimately defend tfa and tljs writing and tell me its somehow petter than the mess that was the prequels I have to question that persons judgement. Tfa play it safe isnt even half the problems in the movie, nothing makes sense and the characterization is god awful especially what they did to han. I can only imagine ignorance is the reason peopel would defend the most truest of mary sues being brought into star wars.

Its like as if someone told me valerian was a great movie because jupiter ascending was worse. Its baffling, especially when one movie has the laziest characterization trope in it if all time. Making it twilight tier in terms of character depth.

CIS was the superior form of government. Sure it probably would have been more bureacracy, but droids would be doing the dying, not people. Or clones.

Oh man we're only two months away from Disney canning the film.

>CIS
>corrupt coalition led by spineless robber barons.

Mostly for the Force, but also for the hot alien babes.

>When incompetent writers prove your tyrannical, genocidal empire to be right almost fifty years after the fact

Yes but
>Corrupt coalition lead by worthless politicians in which thousands of human lives would fight and die
vs
>Corrupt coalition lead by worthless businessmen in which thousands of robots would die

This becomes even more important when the Vong invade.

Consider how the Republic and Empire's strategy would throw the population of the whole Galaxy against it, where as an ideal CIS would just throw robots at the problem. Furthermore the CIS would build a Death Star with robots, not slaves.

Sorry did I say "thousands" I should say billions.

Billions of galactic lives lost during the Vong War.

And another thing the Vong despise Robots, so the idea of a whole galaxy sending trillions of bots at them would make some quite fun expressions on their face.

Its weirder that they handle this suspicion and intel so much better in rogue one and it makes sense they wouldnt just believe people just for the sake of it. Tfa is like starwars through the lens of fanfiction writers who just toss iconic shit at thre screen without thinking it through.

We live in a time line where the best Disney produced Star Wars movie was Rogue One.

Gee, what did Rogue One do that TFA and TLJ didn't do?

Ironically, stick closer to the aesthetic and feel of original trilogy while at the same not copying it.

Wasn't Rogue One supposed to be a gritty war movie before Disney forced the reshoot due to it being too dark for their family syfy adventure franchise

>Nothing of note actually happened in the greater scheme of things.

Because the movies are built on Member Berries, nothing notable happening was by design. Everything is crafted to let man-children coo at the pretty explosions and the Millennium Falcon because the Millennium Falcon is Star Wars.

It was a corrupt coalition of spineless robber barons led by an aristocratic wizards apprentice. Get it right. There were independent/neutral systems during the Clone Wars anyways, except few of them had any military forces that could stand against the CIS Droid Army or the Republics Clone Troopers.

It's almost as if when you rely on a Rey that is not Rey Mysterio things go to shit

>what did Rogue One do that TFA and TLJ didn't do?

Gave us a view on the setting that wasn't Millennium Falcons and Lightsabers.

Rogue one was actually a movie in the setting, rather than a corporate made chapter to try and replace what was already there. It also had doug chiang as the art director who made all those rad clonetrooper designs in the prequels and the naboo fighter. Also also krennic.

The problem with Rogue One is its entire premise is fundamentally flawed. Star Wars is simply not meant for gritty war flicks. It's really hard to have your low-exposure Black Hawk Down war scenes when the guys shooting at the heroes are fucking white-armored Stormtroopers with big goofy helmets. That's why they put in those dumbass operator-dressup "death troopers" or whatever. And when you do shit like that, you're fundamentally admitting your universe doesn't work for the movie you're making.

Rogue One was a joyless mess which was targeting braindead fanboys and contrarians at once, and it hit that mark perfectly. I probably would've liked it more if it was set in its own universe, though that wouldn't have changed the fact none of the characters were likable or interesting.

Have horrifying CGI zombie of Peter Cushing kill the entire diversity cast with a giant laser.

I hate Battlefront 2 so much, I hate it so fucking much. Battlefront 2’s story is evidence that Star Wars has become a cult with sacred cows because they couldn’t follow through with giving us an Empire story. Three goddamn chapters in and you’re now working for the Rebellion. Only a fraction of the game is about being a loyal Stormtrooper struggling to accept the Empire is dying.

Wait why was it okay for pink hair to destroy the last flag ship of the rebellion to destroy a bunch of other shops, but not for poe to destroy a bunch of bombers against a giant super ship that can delete any other ship.

On top of that, if you consider that it's important for more to survive poe was in the right then to try and shut down the ftl tracker on their ship. When her plan was to simply die.

And he was even more in the right because if he didn't destroy that dreadnaught they would have been destroyed when they followed him...

I still can’t name a single character from that movie.

How many "wins" have been reset for the good guys in Starwars?

>blow up the Deathstar
>the Empire reigns

>blow up the other Deathstar
>the Empire reigns

>also kill Emperor Palpatine and his only obvious successor literally minuets before blowing up the second Deathstar
>the Empire reigns

>they make no meaningful gains following an unimaginably huge victory that cost them basically nothing
>somehow every time they strike an incredible blow to the Empire it weakens the Rebels
>what should have been a fatal strike to the Empire somehow killed them instead, leaving them in a worse position than they were at the beginning of the first movie

Also

>kill Anakin
>he becomes Darth Vader

What was the Republic's justification for not permitting the CIS to secede?

I just don't understand why they didn't use any aliens for the main cast.
Like, just make the main girl a Twi'lek, a Togruta, a Zabrak or a Rodean if you feel really, really adventurous.
Make the machinegun dude a Gamorrean. That would be fucking awesome, having a Gamorrean in a semi-important role for once.
Make the monk guy Besalisk, a Kel Dor or Cosian.
Why? Fucking do you have only humans?

I'm gonna throw down some >opinions which will probably trigger the fuck out of everyone here but here I go.

Star Wars is a shit universe which is absolutely unsuitable for anything but the story presented in the Original Trilogy. There is nothing to this setting which is conducive to world building or telling a story other than the basic Hero's Journey we saw in the 80s. That's why the Prequels fell so flat, and it's why the Sequels are so boring. Star Wars was and should remain just a couple of fun adventure movies.

This is also why the Expanded Universe was so damn retarded. There was nothing there for real worldbuilding. Just stretching every detail from the movies so fucking thin. The Kessel Run was a real with thing with black holes and shit and not just some nonsense Han Solo made up to impress people. Bespin is the most strategically important mining facility in the universe even though the Empire doesn't know about it, and carbon freezing is the bestest and most prefectest way of transporting life forms even though the movie outright fucking says its an industrial process which will most likely kill whoever you're freezing. The lightsaber is a super speshul god weapon only the most elite "Force Sensitives" can use and not just a fucking sword.

You aren't supposed to fucking empathize with stormtroopers or the Empire because they're an evil terror state who are the obstacle to the Hero's development.

Preserve the Union

The CIS started the war by shelling Naboo.

>they'll never bring back electro-baton stormtrooper man
most compelling character in the two movies

Because having like 10 different races in a film is more important to them than 10 fictional aliens

>The lightsaber is a super speshul god weapon only the most elite "Force Sensitives" can use and not just a fucking sword.

This is the only one that gets me. Should just be a tool like a bow or staff or something.

Why did they shell Naboo?

What was the British Empire's justification for not permitting the American Colonies to secede?

What was Washington D.C's justification for not permitting the South to secede?

Historically, governments don't like it when member states tell them to get fucked. We can argue the actual ethics of real world and fictional examples all we want, but "no, fuck YOU you're gonna stay here and like it" is a perspective with millennia of real life precedence.

The macho man had to sit down and get humbled by the wise female authority figure. That’s all those scenes were meant to convey.

Because there are two relevant planets in the prequels and you can't just make up a new one.

Because he went against the orders of his superiors and get all of their bombers and most of their fighters killed. Yeah, he bumped off one super dreadnought but when all you have is one flagship and a bunch of bombers, sacrificing all the bombers might not be the smartest thing, especially if you can jump away for literally free.

After the jump they were already fucked because they were on their last legs and her plan was to at least save the people, because what the fuck were her options? Her plan wasn't to die, her plan was to sacrifice the ship for the people and it would have worked if the codebreaker hadn't sold them out.

Her actual mistake was not throwing Poe in the brig because we she probably didn't tell anyone the plan outside of the bridge because the plan was on a need to know basis. They should have probably explicitly stated that they were assuming a traitor was on board selling their position out, but whatever.

But she didn't even humble him, she sounded like a complete idiot talking about hope and shit.

The last point is a good one, and yeah, her plan was to die on the ship (or at least set it to coast and then leave).

As for trying to shut down the FTL tracker, it would have been a good move, but was inherently exceptionally risky and unlikely to succeed, with the downside that it was extremely likely a hero of the rebellion would die (or lead the FO right to the escaping Rebel ships on trying to escape).

As a result, it makes sense that the Rebellion would try to go for the more risk-averse solution of losing their one, not particularly effective remaining capital ship, with the expectation of getting Outer Rim support afterwards.

Of course, it doesn't much matter; Poe didn't communicate his idea with Admiral Pink until well after preparations for abandoning the ship had already taken place. Poe's biggest problems were that he was being too much of a gloryhound and refusing to follow rank structure; if he had been willing to give his superiors the benefit of the doubt when they aren't saying anything (and maybe he would have been told if he wasn't so argumentative), its possible the original plan would have worked.

...Though unlikely, because no one was going to show up, and the Rebels were going to starve to death.

You are underestimating how easy it is to lop your gubbins off with a thing has no weight or heft behind it while swinging it around and that cuts through you like a giant lasersword through a tissue.

They still would have died if poe didn't destroy the dreadnaught.

Like yeah he did bad, but it was the right thing to do.

To you, she sounded like a complete idiot. To the indoctrinated, she was a true iRebel and a paragon of the Resistance.

user made a joke about Fort Sumpter, but the war pretty much began when the Trade Federation invaded Naboo.

>Tfa is like starwars through the lens of fanfiction writers who just toss iconic shit at thre screen without thinking it through.
I've seen this observation before and it's entirely accurate. TFA is essentially the world's most expensive fanfic.

The movie even mentions multiple people tried deserting after the lightspeed jump. So I don't really mind Admiral Dangerhair keeping her plan close to the vest. Poe was a junior officer and a notorious loose cannon.

My real gripe is how Laura Dern was just kinda unnecessary, like most of the things we saw in that film. I would have liked it better if Poe actually had been named acting commander of the remaining forces while Leia recovered. Not because "muh feminazis in my Star Wars" but because he was a character we already knew and was charismatic as fuck. It would have been interesting seeing him go from hot head to leader and learning what that takes. Throwing in some rando and expecting us to act like we've known her forever is just weird.

They saved Naboo, brah. It was in the process of being glassed by YET ANOTHER PLANET KILLER SUPERWEAPON when said planet killer superweapon got destroyed. Again.

The only planet that got sort of glasses was Planet Spacenazi, because of fucking course nuking your own people is how you scare the enemy into surrendering to you. Perfect logic there.

Apparently Republic's female admiral uniform is makeup, ball gown and jewelry.

>Fucking do you have only humans?

Star Wars is about how the Force is Female and diversity/inclusion must be added into a series that has for too long been a white boy's club. Replacing the black guy with a Zabrak would mean nobody's getting represented.

No offense, and I dont disagree with you on some points for the most part, you just sound like a brainlet that says star wars is only about the characters. Your entire post comes off as a normalfag mad at other people having fun.

The real negative about starwars was that it was a full package. It was well writen enough and had as much passion put into the sound design and the visuals that it can resonate woth practically everyone. Theres a little bit of something in the OT that can appeal to everyone, thats what made it so great. Its weird watching pretentious asshats throw hissu fits because someone mightve enjoyed say the space battles over the spiritual elements or deeper meanings of the force. Or someone might enjoy the pseudo military aspect of ground troops on either side. Is it brain busting escapism, no, its jot even the most well put escapism by any means. But it doesnt have to be and it doesnt really make anyone wrong for liking it or wanting it. If anything I'd say calling it all set dressing would be an insult to the designers and artists who were able to make somethinf that could resonate so well with so many people that they'd autistically want to know more about it.

As much as people like to shit on the ST, I'm not sure that's true. Rogue One was a piss ass boring movie for like the first two thirds of it and is only bailed out by the god tier battle at the end. TFA was fanfic tier with garbage world building, but it kept me interested throughout.

>it's why the Sequels are so boring.

How the fuck is the new trilogy failing to write a Hero's Journey. Have we really fallen this far as a society that we're incapable of coherently telling the Monomyth?

And that's why it should have had a hard limit to how it can cut. Like it can go through a person in robes, but not as well through armor.

To me the lightsaber felt like a response to blasters. A sword carried by people with incredible reflexes that can reflect projectiles and close the gap. Not space magic that is super strong.

>with a thing has no weight or heft behind it

This is only a thing in the Prequels because George wanted his perfectly-choreographed martial arts spectacles. In the Original Trilogy, the actors were told to treat the lightsaber like a heavy sword. Mark Hamill himself even said the director of RotJ told him he was basically swinging around Excalibur. There's an obvious weight to them in the OT, and it's even more obvious in the new movies.

They blockaded the planet because Naboo refused to pay debts to become space Dubai.

When they did this, legally mind you, the jedi were sent to strong arm a settlement. When the TF got wise to this, they tried to gas the space wizards who escaped and got told by the senate to let it go. When they refused and got involved, a third party (gungans) amassed an army and marched on their occupation security forces and the jedi let pilots free to attack TF forces.

With this aid, the queen of Naboo was able to take what equates to a CEO hostage and force them to sign a treaty effecting a galaxy spanning conglomerate with no negotiations or legal process.

That puts it in a pretty grim light.

Rebels are incredibly low on resources.

The Resistance not knowing about Starkiller is at least slightly justified in that apparently the Republic didn't actually want anything to do with the Resistance and that was entirely Leia's doing to the point that some Republic officials actually hired hitmen to take her out and stop escalating tensions with the FO in her little proxy war, but at the same time that's all told in fucking tie-in novels and shit, so fuck Disney for trying to do the whole MULTIMEDIA EXPERIENCE YA GOTTA BUY 3 MOVIE TICKETS, 7 BOOKS, AND 4 SHITTY VIDEOGAMES BY EA TO TRUUUULY UNDERSTAND THE STORY bullshit.

They were never getting to hyperspace with the dread there, which would have followed them with the tracking immediately as well.

The entirety of the space chase is shit, not only logically but also execution.

That was 4 governments ago.

>Dooku is a Sith Lord and the Jedi won't tolerate any sith
>The CIS leadership has amassed a large droid army
>The Trade Federation is a member and was behind previous hostilities regarding Naboo
>When the Jedi arrive to rescue Kenobi and Friends the CIS attacks them.
That's just the immediate cause for the conflict on Geonosis

>Palpatine is completely in control of the Senate by this point. He is granted emergency powers to use the clone army to destroy the droid army.
>A large portion of the Senate was actually as corrupt as the CIS accused them of being, forcing heavy taxes, accepting deals with galactic megacorporations, and forcing and restrictions on many systems. Palpatine was promising them he would keep the status quo for their corruption if they supported him. The CIS had legitimate reasons to believe they could never prosper under the Republic.
>Palpatine was behind literally everything and just wanted a war so everyone would make him their all powerful leader, putting him in a position he could never be deposed from. He pretended in the years preceding the clone wars that he wanted a diplomatic solution to the Separatist demands while sabotaging everything.

At it's most basic the Galactic Republic represented the Core of the Galaxy, while the CIS was made of worlds from the Outer Rim. CIS wanted to leave because they had no power in the Republic, and the Core wouldn't tolerate the new power dynamics this would create. None of might have happened if it weren't for Sheev.

Wasn't it implied they had territorial ambitions on loyal Republic worlds?

I mean they had a giant ass army long before the Republic got theirs, they must've had plans to use it for something.

Yes actually. People can't write a story, they have to write satire with quips.

I think you're misunderstanding my point. I'm not trying to denigrate the world created for the movies. My point is that world was created in service of a certain story. The amount of work and creativity put into those movies elevates the story to such a fantastic level it's no wonder those movies are so popular.

But this is a double-edged sword. The problem the Star Wars "world" presents for an expanded universe is you have only two options. Keep all that stuff you like, but at the cost of telling the same story over and over again, and probably not as well as the original films did it. Or go off the beaten path, and make something which ultimately really isn't Star Wars.

>which would have followed them with the tracking immediately as well.
They didn't know about the tracking though. So yes, his actions worked out in the end, but didn't he get demoted by Leia DURING the jump?

Everyone mocked the DC movies for needing 5 hours to tell a story when better movies do it in 2, but Star Wars gets a free pass because it's the Corporate Holy Bible.

Honestly, I love the prequels + Clone Wars for the simple joy of seeing how Sheev orchestrates everything, down to disenfranchising Anakin from the Council. Also some amazingly choreographed fights in Clone Wars.

>If_only_you_knew_how_bad_things_really_were.png

If you want to talk about grim, look at how much venom was spat by the media at fans for "not understanding" TLJ or even "hating it because it's feminist."

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