Late night game.
DM is devout Catholic.
Made him apologize to his crucifix and Marry statue twice before the game was over.
I'm running a Half-Orc female with a monster cock.
I know it's a monster cock cause the DM rolled for it when I asked.
Decide I'm going to mess with the DM by attempting to fuck all his NPCs.
My persuasion is beastly for a Barbarian.
Get lucky. Meet hot daughter of of leathworker during a quest.
We return her family do-dad and my orc "Wan' some fuk?"
Non-nat17. "I'm sorry madam but I'm not into women"
*point at bulge* "I'm equiped with both tools"
Dm says to role persuasion again.
Fucking Nat20.
Five minutes into fucking a friend decides to make it funny.
He's a lvl3 mage or whatever. Uses lvl2 spell slot with Invisibility.
Succeeds on sneak roll. Starts watching us go doggy style. Girls like it ;)
He decides to stay invisible and just thrust his dick in her mouth.
After a nat19 perception and a non-nat 17 History roll each, I recognize her slurping as the sound of choking on dick.
DM time jumps 30 minutes. Third party member has left for the inn already.
Makes us roll constitution. Nat20 for me and non-nat18 for my friend.
Find out later the woman kept failing Constitution rolls. She hit orgasm multiple times.
Love my dice as I roll another nat-20, friend does too.
We go for an hour before my orc orgasms.
My other friend is still willing to go. My dice say I am too.
I decide to test our friendship barriers.
Orc Futa character rolls over and spreads cheeks.
Friend jumps in head first. Not face first. Little head first.
We go thirty minutes. The dice love us.
Dice say we both fall constitution at the same time. Both orgasm together.
We decide to call it quits on that scene. Nobody is comfortable.
We decide to lie with the woman in what my friend calls a "Cuddle Puddle".
End of game. Catholic friend leaves to probably pray.
D&D Lusty RP
Other urls found in this thread:
And now I have an erection while my dick is sore. Fuck you.
FANTASY
ADVENTURE
TO
ADULT
LECHERY
You're not wrong.
Straight from a beast dungeon raid where we got her lost family heirloom from a bunch of bandits.
Is it online? Is it text only?
Can I join?
This allows you to make parties where only the DM can see your character sheet. From there you can roll IRL or get a dice roller online.
It simplifies a lot. We also use Discord Voice Chat with this.
Shows you all your stats. This simplifies Character Sheets greatly and shows you everything you need to know in one convenient page.
First of all: Yes
The best version of this shit is when the dice screw you over as the GM.
It happened to me at one point in Call of Cthulhu. I had to generate stats for a town in the backwoods of Louisiana. The average of most CoC stats is 11. Size is like 12-13. 18 is generally the max and since it's either 2d6+6 or 3d6 flat that's pretty rare.
So the men in this town follow a pretty normal distribution. The women... well...
>So their size is always 16-18. That's huge. They could be super fat though. This isn't super abnormal since size is 2d6+6
>No... Their strength is always 16-18. That's bizarre since that's a fucking 3d6 roll. Well, I guess they're troglodyte bruisers or something.
>ALL FUCKING RIGHT THEN. All their appearances are 16-18. That's 3d6 again. Sure, this is how probability is supposed to work. AMAZONS IT FUCKING IS.
Bear in mind, this isn't the dice. I'm rolling just as many men as women and the men turn out totally average for the most part while the women are fucking amazons every time. This holds true for like 4 major female NPCs before I just decide that it's a weird genetic quirk of the town and roll with it.
It was interesting watching the party sneak into a plantation home and hold the man of the house at gunpoint only to be blindsided when his tank of a wife burst into the room and fucking SHATTERED a damn chair over one of the PCs. It got weirder from there though.
So that's how the story of Lucrece, Louisiana started and dice made me run muscle girl CoC.
neat
On the list of things that never happened, "I 'made' my devoutly catholic GM narrate a sex scene involving a shemale orc and an invisible man, complete with non-existent game mechanics", is at least in the top quartile.
I simply just can't wait to fuck with my next DM.
He'll be running a Warhammer 40K campaign.
I'm going to be a Space Shark. The way he's running it we're choosing now what we want to have at certain levels. I've chosen terminator armor and a thunder hammer.
"You enter the room. Roll perception"
*Rolls 17*
"You notice the blast door sliding shut behind you. when you turn around you realize you are surrounded by space orcs"
"I slam my thunder hammer into the ground"
"What?"
"I SMACK THE FOUNDATION WITH MY THUNDER HAMMER!"
"Roll..."
"Nat20"
Jesus Christ that was an elaborate ruse just to shill a product still in beta that you have to pay to get full access to.
First of all 5E.
Second of all plenty of Homebrew.
Third of all fuck you this actually did happen xD.
What? Are you a 3E fag?
The fuck you pay for D&D beyond?
I'm broke as shit. never paid for it myself. What screen are you looking at?
________
So I just double checked. I fucking opened the exact link I gave. A link I gave in response to somebody asking.
That link gave me several options. I can both create a character and start a campaign without paying. So idk what you did but clearly it was just as wrong as your statement.
I also happen to like when the DM tries to screw with you.
One time I saved a town by single handedly killing a mountain with me in it and not dying. That's another story though. This is about what happened afterwards.
I ended up busting out of the tunnels we were in with 4 HP and after convincing the whole party that I was, in fact, immortal my characters next words were simply "I need a beer and a woman."
After some healing we head back to town where the confused party really can't do much other than go "we save the town. This guy we just is the one that killed the mountain and saved the day. We're not really sure how." (out of character they knew what happened but IC they just saw me emerge from what should have been certain death)
>I roll well for charisma and the DM straight up goes 'the hottest girl in town is interested. The party snickers.
>Well fuck it, I'm going for it.
>Turns out that this is a dragonborn town. DM explains this with her laugh and goes "So her charisma's probably..."
>"Plus two"
>"Huh?"
>"Dragonborn have a plus two to charisma" I remind him. "So she's probably smoking hot."
>Alright, moving right along.
>The GM goes "She gets +2 to strength as well so you're going to need to roll constitution to avoid damage."
>"I'm a Starpact warlock. Con is one of my two main stats" proceed to roll an 18 or so and go a couple of rounds with her.
>DM rolls a d20 without any explanation. The party snickers.
>"Looks like we have another bastard..."
>Turns out the party has a habit of fathering bastards with random wenches and that roll was for pregnancy
>Fuck that. I ask her to marry me as soon as I find out and she accepts happily.
>Married to the hottest dragonborn MILF in an entire major town of dragonborn and soon have a loving daughter.
>Who's laughing now?
Everyone has access to the free SRD material dipshit. I get that you're here to bait, but Jesus put a little more effort into being subtle.
Novel concept. We could just ignore the everloving shit out of DnD beyond and discuss bonerworthy shenanigans in Veeky Forums games.
There isn't a damn thing boner worthy in this thread, it's a Frankenstein monstrosity of Veeky Forums memes.
yeah well, that's just like, your opinion, man
Lol I had a boner during the whole "Encounter"
What a great story
very entertain
definitely happened
>Half-Orc Female
>most cock
No
Nope.
This.
This thread is basically late capitalist bourgoise degeneracy at work. Sad youngster fantasizes some bizarre fake sex experience that isn't even actual sex. Then shares it anonymously to try and feel like a real person.
As to this the bizarre anti-religious undertones that form part of their sexuality.
Sad and scary
>Bear in mind, this isn't the dice. I'm rolling just as many men as women and the men turn out totally average for the most part while the women are fucking amazons every time. This holds true for like 4 major female NPCs before I just decide that it's a weird genetic quirk of the town and roll with it.
In a CoC game you pretty much have to create a lovecraftian elder god of swole amazons in that situation, some sort of "lifthulhu" who has blessed the town.
Sure, SURE. You can post outright smut here, but when I try to start a thread asking when monsters eating things are acceptable, it gets ripped down.
What did you use for the OP pic?
So did anything interesting happen?
>half orc female with a monster cock
fucking degenerate