How can you kill a god?

I see you are a man of culture as well.

With some sort of clever ruse or trick, because I can't see myself stabbing an omnipresent thing to death.

Feed it chocolate or run it over, I guess.

The same way you kill everything else.

Which gods are the easiest to kill in D&D and which gods are the hardest to kill?

Get another god pissed off at it.
Sit back with your popcorn and 6D glasses.
GOD FIGHT!

Dakka, lots of dakka.

Pelor is likely up there with the hardest. He's the god of Making Friends, Sunlight, Awesome Hugs, Healing and The Space/Time Continuum.

>the god is a primordial beast the size of a supercluster, with an infinitely large interior, who needs no faith or worship to be strong

How would you kill it?

Was Pelor not a TAIMU GODDU only in 4e?

Get angry, very angry

Power attack

>Pantheon type god
You find something strong enough to hit it with until it dies, fuckers are powerful but typically only biologically immortal and will succumb to wounds like any other entity.

>Demonic god
See above but be sure said hard object is holy in nature

>Holy god
See above but be sure said object is demonic in nature

>Omnipotent god
You try to trap them in a paradox (I.e. God and e boulder) and hope they implode rather than vaporize you on the spot for your presumption. Elsewise you don't.

>Nature god
Wreck nature until they can't draw power from it and fall back on the hit it hard method

>Eldritch god
You fucking don't. Not with the big boys anyway. You stand back quietly and hope to whatever God you haven't already killed that they don't intentionally or even accidentally wipe out your reality with nth dimensional outer-god fuckery.

My brain meats are tired at the moment, other anons feel free to add to the list of god types and methods of dispatching them.

Hit him real hard

...

> become a god
> profit

Yeah, 4e made him the god of time (For what do you judge time by if not the sun?).

...

I had a dream where I killed Yahweh with a sword.

To expand;

The sword was magic, Yahweh gave it to me as a reward for my faith after he killed my brother to test me. (my brother is alive, this was just in the dream) The sword wasn't for fighting, rather it was a piece of his power that could be spent to instantly make someone dead through the strength of his own will, like the sword rewrote the rules to say someone was dead. Yahweh was really certain that I'd waste the sword on something petty and small, so he left me without checking my heart to see what my plans were.

I took a starship to the edge of the universe, then I pushed through it, to find the universe of universes. At the edge of the universe of universes, I pushed past the barrier again and found Yahweh, who wasn't a person as much as he was an oppressive idea and energy that totally filled this place. His attention was on a vision of a battle between two monstrous armies, not once did he look my direction or notice me. So I unsheathed the sword and used it on him. Everything was black all at once, and everyone everywhere for better or worse could feel that he was dead. No one knew for certain if when he died, he would stay dead, or if he had just left us when someone technically killed him, but everyone was sure that for now he had been killed and he was gone. In the dream, I was terrified that he would come back, but I wasn't sorry that I did it.

There were some key elements looking back at it:

1) It was Yahweh's own hubris that made him feel safe giving a mortal a piece of his power
2) The starship that could go fast enough to reach the edge of everything was a man-made variable that Yahweh had yet to consider
3) Something bigger than me and my quest (that war in heaven or whatever it was) was distracting him, otherwise he would have noticed and stopped me

That's what my subconscious cooked up anyway .

Don't do that, killing is illegal

Make god bleed and watch the sharks rip them apart.

Find my stats, bitch. Go ahead, I'll give you time to look.

Lolth is the easiest, simply because everyone hates her and she has no allies

With the power of friendship.

...

>taking monsters out of the book
not making your own
LOL

You have to be extremely high level. High levels = godhood and reality warping. Not just for the Wizard class, but everybody. The only entity capable of standing before a God and not melting or being mentally controlled to obey is something nearly as strong as one.

I like the Pantheon-esque fantasy where Gods are immortal but fallible and potentially killable. Unlike normal mortals getting killed doesn't necessarily mean the end of your existence. Dead things that strong are locked away in the deepest, darkest depths of the underworld just to try and keep them out. But they can eventually crawl their way back.

make his followers forget he exists

trap them in a pocket dimension

...

Can you seduce the Lady of Pain?

Sithrak is the greatest god ever.

I would want to.

Killing all their followers or convincing them to renounce them and stop worshiping them. At least in D&D 2e

Usually we just get the blessing of another god.
Usually we get the blessing by massacring a bunch of the god we want to kills followers.
Less followers = Less belief = A weaker god

Heh, what's a god to a non-believer? *unsheathes katana*

Erasing existence sometimes works, and it's usually worth doing anyway.

I've thought up a magic item I want to work into my next fantasy game: Sword of Damocles. It's a weapon that can not be touched by someone with any sort of godliness or divine ranking, including kings. If a god were to even suffer a tiny cut from the sword, their souls would quickly start disintegrating into nothingness. A decent cut would result in instant death. The sword itself is somewhat sentient and can refuse wielders, only seeming to accept people who have already proved themselves heroes in some way or another. The sword itself is rather unassuming. While clearly high quality, it wouldn't stand out next to any other well made sword.

>this omnipotent, beyond-your-comprehension being was distracted

A god is as powerful and as the cumulative as his followers. Kill the last follower, and the god is forgotten. However, be warned of making a god a secret but not truly erasing his hope of remembrance.

As for lower case gods:
>personification of element
Easy, mastering element=mastering god and from this point it is easy
>god with powers, pantheon style
Also somewhat easy. They have bodies and can probably take thier immorality from somwhere. Norse mythology is full of dead gods, greek is full of wounded ones (plus Pan but we don't talk about it)
>Demon/Angel so powerful that it can be named god
Technically you cannot but you can trap them somwhere. Just find where.
>Eldritch fuckery
Find eldritcher fuckery.
And if you want to fight porpoerly definded upper case God, as First-Principle-God, Unmovable-Mover-God etc etc as Aquinas and other nicely definded - you don't. You cannot by definition.
>But muh paradoxes
By defintion useless. Thing cannot be and not be at the same time. Only method is to wite untill God would take mortal nature but even thn you wouldn't kill divinity. And probality that God will came back from death, enraged is equal to one.

That shit's easy.

The real question is, how does one kill Santa Claus?

>get other god drunk
>fuck other god
>give birth to monsters
>get oracle
>beat oracle until (s)he gives a prophecy of the gods ultimate defeat against evil
>wait for innumerable years
>feed gods to your monsters
profit!

Don't believe in it... it'll die soon enough.

Mass mind control using the tooth fairy’s domain

>Easy, mastering element=mastering god and from this point it is easy

>personification of air
>build a windmill
>??????

...

...she has stats in 4e though.

Windmill uses already existing air. To master air you need to have control over it at godlike level.

>...she has stats in
Did you mean to type more?

You stab it until it stops being active
Alternatively you stab everything related to it until its existence stops mattering

Where in 4e?

>Omnipresent
That's the kike god. Most gods aren't really omnipresent

He's basically saying .

How does a omniscient being gets distracted?

Was the two armies in your universe or they were outside of it?

iron chariots

If a god gets created by the prayers of the common folk you just need to commit genocide.

jrients.blogspot.com/2009/02/um-fear-my-wrath-puny-mortals.html

Punch the central concept of it's vastness so hard it becomes something else. Then punch the the new defining trait so hard it becomes something else again. Continue until no concept of it exists.

push him off your roof, destroy his jacket

You make him mortal or you make yourself immortal.

1W

Step 1: Be able to make them physical. Most Gods are forces or spirits, even if they sometimes take physical form.

Step 2: Become a magical entity yourself. If you can comprehend their existence, how are you supposed to destroy it?

Step 3: Corner them. Gods will just fuck off, or make you fuck off, or make your universe stop working, or go make another universe.

Step 4: Find a god-slaying device. What you think your fucking +5 Vorpal Sword of Buggeryboo will kill it? Bitch, they invented swords before your race existed.

Step 5: Fight that bitch. This is easily the hardest step. If its not; a) you gm sucks, b) its a trick, or c) you sure your not already a God?

Step 6: Kill the followers. Gods keep themselves around with worship and remembrance. No God was ever slain without a genocide.

Step 7: Find a new God STAT. Without any God filling its roll you either end the world, summon a big bad monster that's WAY worse than the God, or accidentally give another God a free win in a political game you can even understand.

Step 8: Profit???

>make yourself immortal
But then you're stuck fighting another immortal being forever.

Gaichu is so fucking based.

With Fellblade

She doesn't have official stats in 4e.

You cant. Gods, by definiton, dont die like we do. At best, its a temporary setback. Either they CANT die, or they just come back good as new.

What do gods pray too?

Super Gods.
AKA: The GM and the Players

Not that guy but.
He didnt bother to check what happens? Just because he is omniscient doesnt mean he would automaticly be aware of everything at every moment, much like a person might misremeber information or didnt bother to check his own knowledge.

Then call it a puny god. That'll ruin its godhood.

>Eldritch God
>you don't kill them

Somebody needs to be educated

...Do you know what "omniscient" means?

Ghost Eating Technique
It's not that hard

>How does an omniscient being get distracted?

I think it was a willful distraction, he didn't have to put all his attention on the battle but he did.

>Was the two armies in your universe or they were outside of it?

outside of it I'm pretty sure

I mean that shit is literally just like the FB tier shit you see about rolling a 20. Its fake and the humor is shit.

Omnipotent gods should be unkillable. Demigods can be slain.

Normally I don't like the villain just sitting around in his dungeon waiting for the hero to come and slay him but god damn it's done so well here. The arrogance in his lines aredelicious.

>people dream this coherent awesome stuff
>my dreams are muddled and foggy and hazy
Life is unfair in many ways but this one always bugs me. I have a friend who lucid dreams regularly and that just seems like the most amazing shit to me. Consider me jealous.

>Game where the players are all secret gods and old enemies that are forced to unite in the face of a new, predatory cult that's hunted them into secrecy.
Fuck, that'd be fun.

Depends on the god. They should usually have a ultra specific weakness, or you have to kill them with their own weapon/ trick them into killimg themself.

I don't need to. Wizards has you now.

dream journal and in three weeks you will dream coherently

This. I have no issue however with the AVATAR of a god being slain, since it is essentially a remote-control angel/servant

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Source or shut up.

shoot him in the face
with a big enough gun formed from your rebellious spirit

What would be more satisfying: killing a god, or bending one to your will?

killing, definitely
in ficion and myths there has been plenty of cases of Gods granting favors to mortals, which is, in a way, being bent to their will. Also it isn't anything special to see them switch allegiances or follow orders
But doing the ultimate impossible that is "you can't kill the immortal"? I'm getting a stiffy only thinking of it

The Raven Queen for example.