ITT: Shit you hate your GMs doing

you're annoyed that you have no ability to communicate?

Clearly making shit up as they go along and then denying that's what they do.

>Adds in an NPC
>Either steals the show or contributes fucking nothing

The DM that allows their players to get away with shit they shouldn't be doing and allows the players to win. What a pathetic way to play a game.

>DM requires our current campaign has a "traitor" in the party
>Tells me about it, wants it to be me
>See this ending badly, refuse
>He insists it has to be me because now I know about it and it would ruin the "intrigue."
>Fair point. Accept, but still point out this is a really fucking bad idea.

>Session 1, we're part of a rebellion against.....something, our DM never actually explained what we were rebelling against. I guess we're losing because our entire base of operations is 12 people, including our 4 man party, in one small town.
>5 minutes in, an NPC rushes in and tells us there's a traitor in the group feeding info to their enemies.
>Well ok, that didn't last long, but whatever.
>Immediately we're investigating clues onto this traitor, and investigating I'm half-assing and feeding misinformation to everyone else that they buy because they have no reason to think I'm lying.
>DM getting annoyed we're not making any progress, so has another NPC rush in and claim "user is the traitor! Get him!"
>I obviously decline, group supports me because they don't think I did it.
>DM tells them OOC that I really am the traitor and they need to kill me to get the story moving.
>They refuse because they still don't buy it.
>And then it turns out every other member of the rebellion is some level 20 demigod of some sort and they all rush in and kill our party, DM throws a fit because that wasn't "What was supposed to happen."
>Avoids answering how the fuck a rebellion where everyone but us is that powerful can possibly be losing by blaming me for not playing along.
>Someone else offers to DM and we let him, much to the current DM's frustration.
>Spends the entirety of the new DM's game bitching about everything, refuses to leave despite that.

I felt slightly bad for telling the rest of the party about the traitor shit ahead of time, but the whole thing was still really fucking stupid.

Is the GM's job to provide entertainment for players and players don't even owe it to the GM to act entertained. You know that.

I have some bad news, user. You're a bit of a cunt. I'm sorry you had to find out like this.

i do that a lot :/
Care to give me ideas of fun crit faillures to do?

No crit failures. They're retarded and anyone who uses them even more so.

Saw a goblin cleave another goblins head off with a crit fail. My GM just describes us lookling like retards twirling about and stumbling. Most it ever impacted us was someone stumbling over themselves and moving a square over.

waited two months once for people to join our campaign, i begged our gm to do this even if we just abandoned it when we had a full party.

Make them simpler and more real.

When I DM 5e I do shit like "the goblin angles his shield, catching your swing on the metal rim. The shock of the impact stings your sword arm. You have disadvantage on your next attack roll."

The lol u stab urself Dms can go die.

>spoilers
Ya did good, user.
Traitor pcs rarely work well.

Critical failures are bad for the game. Natural 1 always missing is fine, but if stupid shit happens for no reason all you've done is penalize the character for something completely out of their control. Instagibs on 20-20-20 and the like are also shitty. The DM rolls a lot more dice than the players do and all I've seen it achieve is a random player death out of nowhere.

>you use your sword as an airguitar and improvise a sick riff
>your insecurities and low self-estem make you swing your sword in the wrong direction
>you are still recovering from that ghost ambush and thus, you attack an imaginary ghost instead
>you step on a turd and decide to clean your boots instead of attacking
>the rogue did that thing with her lips and you spend this round hiding your raging boner
>you try to sing a very emotional song but your voice breaks down and you shed some tears
>unfortunate flashback to that one time your cousin taught you how to play with your-
>you slip on a banana peel and fall flat on your butt. You recieve no damage and Hanna-Barbera sound effects are optional

Party gets split. GM proceeds to resolve each situation in entirety one at a time instead of resolving each a little bit at a time while periodically rotating between them.

>we talk about how awesome the campaign is all the time

I'm annoyed that the DM is like this with everything.

>spoiler

You're a good player, user. The player your DM needed; not the one he wanted.

Doing accents when they're bad at them. You arent adding anything,you just make yourself look bad.

(You)

Me too.
I'm actually about to run a session and am reading this to give me a confidence boost.

I've never seen it done well, if only because it inevitably turns into PvP, someone loses, and then they sulk and ruin the game because of it.

I just flat-out ban PvP in most games unless we're specifically doing a PvP game, and even that's a bit of an edge case.

How did you miss that obvious sarcasm?

ITT: Perma-players who need to learn how to GM unless they want to keep putting up with shitty GMs

I have absolutely no sympathy for any of you.

>Every NPC inexplicably hates me
>Beloved family members disown me
>Childhood friends openly denounce me
>Cohorts secretly work against me
>Animal companions run away
>Spells and equipment gain sentience and go rogue
>Gods smite me
>The DM is very friendly OOC, doesn't seem to be passive aggressively holding grudges
>I confront DM about this
>DM says these are just natural consequences of my character's actions, don't take it personally
>I ask DM to explicate
>DM repeats again, with no elaboration
>All other players are in agreement with DM
I think I'm going insane, this is the third group in a row it's happened.

He didn't put a /s at the end :^)

if its happened to you three different times, maybe the problem is you? are you a that guy?

That's part of why I think I might already be insane.

my advice is quit playing like a redditor and treat it as a normal miss

>finish adventure.
>magical items manifest in front of us.
>we become attuned after wearing them, he describes how the attuning process feels
>I decide to sell my items.
>"merchant, I have some magic items you might like to buy."
"that's meta-gaming bro, don't do that."

Everything in character points to it being magical. I seriously think most people overreact to meta-gaming and are just looking for excuses to restrict other players. This happened a while ago so I think he was trying to limit how much gp we had because we were very low level.

well whats your class/character? have you done any shit that might make the party/GM resent you?

Well, what has your character done that could possibly cause all these shenanigans?

I mostly play humans, wizards, and occasionally fighters. There was one DM I played under that said she didn't like humans, she thought they were boring and the party already had too many humans, so I made a gnome wizard. She thought the gnome's Artificer's Lore and Tinker features were stepping on the bard's toes (even though we didn't have a bard), so she took that away, but never gave anything to compensate. She and my other DMs also didn't know any of the spells, and thought almost all of them were all overpowered, so they each said no whenever I tried to do something. For example, my familiar went rogue, conjure creature spells and enchantment/illusion spells simply failed, divination and transmutation spells that would've helped with a puzzle also failed. Necromancy weirdly worked just fine, only earning bad reputation with one DM.

Thats what i do. 5 minutes per group, in that case, switching back and forth

>Party gets split
I kill the ones who initiated the split and proceed with the game as normal for the ones who want to participate like adults

>i
> :/
>"ideas of fun"
>faillures

As a DM, I have my players describe their own fuck-up when they roll a natural 1. That way if they don't like crit fumbles they can say they just stumble a bit, and those that do can drop their sword and roleplay. If nobody ends up being into it, I stop prompting them.

Don't get your panties in a bunch. It really takes me out of character when the party has to go EVERYWHERE as a group. You just end up trying to devise reasons for the characters to always be holding hands. Yeah it's kinda obnoxious to run and slows the game down, but to never ever let it happen just feels too contrived, imo.

>she
Already found your problem bud