"Sir. Your boardgames have arrived."

>ywn be able to get a job delivering pizzas
>ywn be allowed within 500ft of houses where children live again
>ywn see a child excited to eat pizza

>masturbating to pornhub videos of3d CGI orks porking elf chicks in Skyrim
There's one with the WoW elves and orks that's really good

>not 3d elves porking orc chicks
Shit taste desu

You seen the Futa Elf on Elf one with actual female voice actors?

>pornhub videos of3d CGI orks porking elf chicks in Skyrim

So you lot are the reason why those keep cropping up there.

Link?

>Now if only I could convince my friends to play with me!

$2000 collection sitting collecting dust

>buys another boardgame to ease the pain

>not wanting to be the kid in that situation
>not wanting to have the nice delivery lady who does not figuratively nor literally look down on you for playing D&D
Disgusting

Good work user

Sauce? It's for college.

>3 pizzas
>$20
What is this 1969?

Pretty sure he's making a joke about being a registered sex offender, yo.

Pizza Hut has "five specific pizzas for $5 each" sales on occasion. Perhaps this stock pizza company does likewise.

That's just the tip, his mom paid with a card online.

Why the fuck else would she say what she did?

They probably couldn't afford anything more.

"Aw, thanks dude."

More data is required

>They're for you Tyrone, take them home and enjoy them with your fiance. Happy birthday.

There's plenty of pizza places which have deals where you can afford three pizzas for twenty dollars.

They won't be particularly good pizzas, but you got three for twenty bucks.

>Knowing the name of your postman
>Knowing him well enough to know that he has a fiance and when his birthday is
>Him knowing you well enough to know it's board games you're ordering
>The delivery services are reliable enough that you can accurately predict when packages will arrive
This is a beautiful world and I want to live there.

>ywn spontaneously start a friendship with the nice pizza lady who always delivers pizza to you
>ywn enjoy playing DnD with her
>ywn grow up, save your first princess, earn your first knighthood from the good king or slay your first dragon with her by your side
>ywn feel the twist of anxiety in your acme'd, teen heart as you ask her out to the prom
>ywn dance the night away with her
>ywn ask her to be your gf after
>ywn have her take your virginity
>ywn suspect her of cheating, confront her and realize there was never any possibility of either of you being unfaithful
>ywn ask her to marry you as you cry in each other's arms
>ywn hear her say yes
>ywn go on a world trip honeymoon
>ywn never laugh as she shits on those newbs having 8th/9th edition wars
>ywn grow old with her
>ywn die after a lifetime of happiness together within a few minutes of each other

Is this what too much Veeky Forums does to a man? Leaves him pining away over a fantasy of banging the fucking pizza girl?

Only when they look like

Thank you user. Your comment embodies the spirit of our great hobbies.

She's still a pizza girl user. She probably lives in a trailer and gets molested by her dad. Or

>and this is my son's house!

what

Look man you can't dangle shit like that in front and not give sauce

Australia.

$4.90 a pizza here man.

... What?
Why would you do it?

Always pay when the itens/service arrive, never before.

>1-800-BOARDGAMES? They can't have my brand!

If you pay by card and it doesn't arrive, you can always chargeback. There's no reason not to.

that's fucking wholesome right there

>Pizza Hut has "five specific pizzas for $5 each" sales on occasion.

Still over $20 with tax and delivery fee. And the little shit isn't even tipping.

hungry howies has a coupon code for 3 medium pizzas for $15 near me. With delivery it'd be right around $20 before tip.

Yes, it's glorious

Motherfucker if another one of my malifaux models got damaged in transit I'm going to carve on your back with an ice pick!

What like little seizures?
They don't even deliver
thank goodness

Holy fuck
How old are you?

...

Is it worth the shitty internet, because now I'm thinking of moving.

>buying boardgamesd when TTS exists
HAHAHA enjoy being a slave to the cardboard jew

>ywn be allowed within 500ft of houses where children live again
What did you do user, you sick fuck?

>"I'm TELLING on you!"

Is that in real dollars or Monopoly money?

I've had some nice chats with my postman about the garden growing over the mailbox

Nice

no
the ethernet cables turn to snakes every 5 minutes

I shed a tear.
Very good.

I don't know why, but this is very funny.

Jokes on you, thats a box full of giant rubber dongs

>Always pay when the itens/service arrive, never before.
On behalf of my fellow delivery workers, I cordially invite you to lick a cactus.

I lived in such world 25 years ago.

Our old postman knew everyone in my bumfuck nowhere smalltown by name for years. That was at time when being a postman meant permanent job security, he has been doing rounds for over 3 decades. He was pretty cool old guy, from what i remember. Always stopped to chat, he was one of main rumormongers in the area, he had information about averyone and everything that was happening in the area .

New guys don't give a damn about the profession, its just another low-wage job. . times have changed. But back then? Mailman was a pretty damn solid occupation, and he was valuable member of the community.

I remember when playing City of Heroes there were Americans with shittier connections than ours, and if you can get a play in the areas where the NBN was properly without fibre to node bullshit it's apparently quite good. So you might be okay.

No. If anything, I would have to abstain from Veeky Forums for a year or more to get my libido reset to "fantasizing about dating the girl next door" levels of boner food. This place does terrible things to a man's sexual palate.

Do not spread lies about Australia.
They were always snakes.

Now, lets be fair. Its a pretty girl who is associated with providing food.

Its pretty natural thing to feel the attraction.

I work for a place that does UPS shipping, among other things. When you ship a package one of the things we ask for is a brief description of the contents. I believe UPS knows what's in all packages. Dunno if the driver knows... maybe?

Also if the return address is something like "WIZARDS OF THE COAST 1234 STREET ST RENTON WA" then you know it's a board game

>hungry howies
my nigger
I think their ""calzones"" are disgusting but I love the little pizzas

>M Y B R A N D

I can get 2 large pizzas for 7 bucks. Where do you get your pizza from?

>Buy board games over the net
>Comes in a box with company name on side
>Shipping label says "Contents: Board Games"
>Check mate Atheists

>garden growing over the mailbox
sounds comfy, pic?

It gets better
knowing what boardgames the postman will like

>tfw you live in bizarro town
>post-commie state post that lots of people bitch about is reliable as clockwork, exact to the day, on one of 2 unofficial but highly regular times
>private couriers are brain donors and incapable of finding their ass with both hands and a map, let alone delivering a package
>highly lauded self-service post box system is such utter trash that I'd literally prefer to just throw the package into garbage than deal with it one more time and maybe, just maybe, have it arrive somewhere within a month

>Be me some months ago
>Order some FW minis online
>Look up the shipping time estimation online
>Good, I'll should be home that day
>Finally it's today
>Constantly check through the window if the delivery guy is coming cause they're a bunch of cunts in my country
>See him coming around 10.30 AM
>Hail him from the window, say I'm coming right away
>"Ok, sir", he replies
>Just the time to put my shoes on and I go down the stairs
>Once at the building's door he's not here
>I look outside, his truck is gone too
>He left a delivery notice in my mailbox : "customer absent"

...

I've had worse.

I didn't order any boardgames...

That's like saying the spirit of reading is opening books and filling shelves.

it's a reference to "and this is my son's room!" when a parent enthusiastically shows guests your room, which is something some people didn't/don't like for various reasons.

...

Just reminds me of this:

youtube.com/watch?v=mWB1u4Ej2wc

I miss those days so much

But isn't it?

Its true, this place has done terrible things to us all

>No friends in person to play board games with
>Buy Red Dragon Inn and try to play it with my family
>They aren't interested
>Freshly open game just sitting in the garage collecting dust
It hurts.

no way this is real

See: It's actually a lot more common than you think, at least here in Scotland anyways. I've watched the mailman post the letter through the door as I opened it to for it to read 'Customer Wasn't In'.

He just couldn't be arsed carrying the package.

>Maybe I can drop by to help after my shit?

I bet the mailman knew *all* the housewives very well.

Are you implying he was a polite and outgoing gentleman who kept up with the goings on in the town

Our UPS man is like that, he knows me by name and generally where most of my regular packages come from (Paper supplies, etc.).

Oh yes, there was a lot of things going in.

...

>Okay boys, I'll GM again tonight.
>A-Are we playing the Dungeon of Pleasures again?
>Of course Sam
>W-We always play the Dungeon of Pleasures when you come over...could we maybe play something else...?
>Sorry Daniel, the Succubus Queen demands attendance, now off with those shorts.

>Pretty sure he's making a joke about being a registered sex offender, yo.
move to Europe, you can literally pick stray kids off the street (if you don't mind them brown)

Dammit, ain't got anything with both /ss/ and pizza ...

so they will have to do separately.

>go to read that
>just so embarrassed I cannot continue
I empathize too hard with earnest delivery girl to continue this pornography.

Sauce?

That's sweet.