Be pickpocket

>be pickpocket
>snag pic related
What do?

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Give it back to them with a "hey, you dropped this, you probably want it back."

Not gonna get on a dragon's bad side, man. Not even a little one.

Love him and pet him and call him George.

Stomp on it for bonus xp

Turn myself in.
When people ask me what I'm in for, I'll admit to "Stealing a Dragon."

Looks like I stole George, the market dragon.
Looks like he's gotten bigger than the last time I saw him, gotten a hoard bigger than a single gold coin as well.

Probably pet him and use him in a transfer somewhere in the market, somewhere on the other end from where I stole him.

I gotta admit, that's pretty awesome.

>"I robbed the kingdom's treasury"
>"I kidnapped the king and ransomed him to the princess"
>"I was caught lollygagging"
>"I stole a dragon"
>"..."
>"You stole from a dragon?!"
>"No. I stole A dragon"

Might I ask who did we snag this from?

Chuck it in the nearest bin.

>run away to a dwarf fort
>offer my services (cooking, singing, forging, general help, etc) in exchange for housing me in the dragon
>claim that the dragon can be used to guard the keep

Sure we might lose a dwarf or two later on, but a giant kleptomaniac flying lizard guarding the gold? Besides a steady supply of goblins and orks should keep it well fed.

...

there was this thread some time ago that had this whole conjecture about a kingdom having a Dragon as their treasurer, making sure spending was very much controlled and taxes came at their appropriate times. the thread was good, I'd need to check the Veeky Forums archive for it, cant remember the thread name

>dragon as treasurer
How intelligent is the dragon we're talking about here? Some seem as smart as dogs, others seem on human level intelligence.

Nurture it and raise it until it's old enough to fight

If you find the thread, please link it here. I'd love to read it and maybe adopt some elements for a campaign I'm working on.

Saving that pic.

Quite a few setting have the super intelligent could-be-wizards-in-their-own-right Dragons, so I'd imagine one of those. Probably super pleased about handing out paper currency while they sit on the actual gold backing.

Slam a door on it, then sell it as exotic meat.

>Spend a large amount of time in game investigating the dragon, training the dragon, or befriending the dragon.
>Begin spotlight hogging
>Other players start to get annoyed at how little impact they're having in the game.
>Tensions rise and eventually PVP occurs.
>Half the group dies/Fight is broken up, but party remains internally hostile.
>Group disbands
Infant dragon receives 10,000 exp for defeating an 8th level D&D group.

Refer to Dragon Magazines how to raise a dragon article.
The Jist of it is, is that good parenting will have it follow your example and hopeful like you as it grows and becomes closer to it's aytypical alignment- fuck up, and it'll leave you or eat you then leave.

You've also got to sort of make sense to it's alignment whilst also doing your thing.

As this one is a Red, It's best to tell him of Klauth, Ashradalon and that one from Baldurs gate and potentially stir him to LE whilst at least migitating him being a boitrous hyperburnactive dickweed like most Reds.

Also, Dragon sexuality, D&D Dragons don't always know or understand how dangerously sexy they are- you fill a Dragons mind with concepts of value, monetization, panty thieving and make it polymorph and enjoy versitality of form as you pick up bitches with it, It'll make a fine wyrm.

Also, when it's teenage, give it it's very first Kobold, and then hunt a Hydra with it, Dragons canonically LOVE hydra, the fucking things literally secrete a hormone that Dragons immediately home in on to eat.

Also, again, Practiced moderate open hedonism, as in the Dragon has to become Veeky Forums as fuck whilst also hitting the gym and becoming chad as it slowly gains stuff for it's hoard, and it's large multiracial panty stash, robbed items, amusing trinkets and gains power in all forms.

Lastly, telling it the dangers of the cult of the dragon, Tiamat, and the Abyss.

If anything, raise a Red like a Sith Lord who needs to be 'living it' or something.

>Chromatic
Kill it because it's evil

But the point is, you kind of want the Red to be smart and say, not as ultradumb as any old fuck out for power that they do not truly own- exemplification of natural abilities is a must, as well as exercise, engagement, and the occasional bit of Nieztchian Master/Slave morality lesson through Domination/submission. Also, making it understand strength in all things, and teaching it to seek mastery of memetic draconic form.

Also, It's my theory that Dragons are literally living supreme Magical constructs that exist unto themselves that basically cause memetic reverberations in the fabric of reality itself- in otherwords, they're literally a recycling device of magic that exemplifies it, and keeps it alive by existing and flying overhead civilizations, as they are an infinity matrix, like say, the concept of vampirism, you simply can't have fantasy without Dragons existing in some form- and that show of self is a sort of duty all dragons come to perform.
Helm of opposite alignment, atonement, brainwashing, and just selling it to klauth are better options. That, or Sacrifice to a dark deity.

>call him George
That's like calling a baby giant Jack.

>get roped into a whole damn heist where this is a main point

“Come on man, you’ve done this before.”

I feed him, name him Baron, and get him a nicer bag for his hoard. If he behaves and does his exercises (resistance training, speed/endurance flying, reading/math lessons, breath-training), I'll give him praise, plus shiny baubles and trinkets on special occasions. If I'm going to raise a dragon, then by Tiamat I'm going to raise him right.

Once he gets big enough, Baron and I will find a kobold lair in the wilderness and found our own dungeon together. I'll finally become a bandit leader just like I always wanted, and Baron will get his own minions too. I'll sometimes enter town in secret to fetch him new books, and to scout for rumors of potential friends and mates for Baron.

...

Apologize to Sybil and her husband.

Source?

Looks like something by Ryo.

boop it's snoot

>"I was caught lollygagging"
You mean loligagging?

Keep it and name it Gerfrid

Passed the wrong bluff check.

>D&D

Befriend
Raise him/ her to be a noble and honorable or violent sociopathic dragon. Depends on campaign
Retrain into Drake rider cavalier
Ride best friend dragon into battle
?????
Profit

Maybe become packlord of dragons or immortal ruler of some dragon kin or something. Depends on how the flow goes

>be red dragon descended dragonborn
>mfw I've now got one of my distant cousins as a pet

>housing me in the dragon
>in
umm...

>Dosukebe Elf no Ishukan Nikki

Free dinner! Sweet!

Keep it, obviously

Fun fact: I'm absolute garbage at ending scenes well.
>Finley, panting just inside an alleyway
>that knight-looking guy's purse felt pretty heavy
>and, when it comes to purses, heavy means expensive
>the wiry half-elf tugged open the drawstring to get a look inside at the glittering gold, or perhaps small trinkets or baubles of immense value
>to his surprise, a small, reptilian head poked its way out of the hole
>"Oh. You're not William. Do you think you could return me to him?"
>"W-what? How... what... what?"
>Finley stuttered in surprise, unused to tiny dragons appearing from his marks' moneybags
>nonchalant, the dragon continued
>"Well, if you're not going to, would you at least open the bag the rest of the way? It's been a few hours since I could stretch my wings."
>"What are-" Finley swore. "I didn't lift a purse, did I."
>the little dragon drew its head back
>as the thief watched, a dim, golden glow filled its eyes
>the light echoed in Finley's own
>"There's a silver coin in here with me. You should open up the bag so you can examine it."
>the words made sense to the half-elf
>he wanted to check out his haul, which he couldn't do with a dragon in the way
>once free of the cloth bag, the reptile stretched, flaring its wings out, then leapt into the air with a couple of flaps before alighting on Finley's shoulder
>the boy gave the dragon a sidelong glance, but it didn't do much else, so he reached into the bag
>he soon found the coin, though it was stuck to the cloth
>with a frustrated grumble, he worked his other hand in to try to worry it free
>"Fermakhn."
>the dragon spoke suddenly, and the bag immediately cinched shut around the half-elf's wrists
>Finley turned to the creature for an explanation
>"Goodbye, thief. I'll enjoy you."
>it opened its jaws, hardly the width of a grape
>then it lunged forward
>
>

>
>
>Vincent flew through the tavern, gliding out of the way of the barmaids and bar brawls
>he flapped his wings quickly to slow himself and land on William's table
>"I owe you a bag. Don't bother with my dinner, though."
>the human smirked at his companion
>"What, did you eat the damn thing?"
>Vincent avoided the man's gaze
>"Well, technically..."
>William let out a raucous laugh
>"HA! Don't worry about it, little guy. So, how was the thief you spoiled your appetite with?"
>the little dragon looked down at himself and his smooth, red scales outfitting a trim figure
>a small smile spread across his muzzle as he replied
>"Bit bony, hardly any real meat on him. Still going though - I must credit the elf-likes with that. Better endurance than you humans."
>William interrupted him with a harrumph, eliciting a chuckle before the tiny dragon continued
>"but besides, my appetite's fine. I could eat every plate of food in this room and still be spoiling for more were it not for that annoying 'conscience' thing."
>William nodded
>"That's still weird, by the way. How you eat, how you cast magic, where your hoard is... and that twelve silver I lent you."
>the dragon stuck a long, forked ribbon of tongue out at his friend
>"Well, you're weird, with that whole 'getting full' nonsense.' And I'm done with the silver; you can go get it after dinner, with interest."
>"Just don't send me where that thief went, yeah?"
>"Try not to dump your beer all over me then."
>the two continued on for hours
>until Vincent's encounter was but a minor detail of the day

What, you've never heard of a hammerspace dragon? So long as you earn and keep its trust, it's perfectly safe in there, although a bit wet.

Depends, how loyal and/or intelligent is it? The answer will dictate whether I bribe it with more coins and keep it or just kill it outright.

Well done user. Have any other tales?

Depends. What's your magical realm tolerance?

Honestly, That's the kind of thing worth having on a criminal record, yeah.

Can we gag lolis with lollies?

As long as you stay out of the Fucked-Up-Fetish Forest, I should be fine.

Wait, wouldn't other crooks know about the old "Put a tiny dragon in your purse" trick?

My fucking nigger

...

Now imagine one of these things being educated as a bookkeeper and accountant
>I don't know boss, do you really need that +2 shield, it's not tax deductible and the returns per capita on that extra defense aren't as profitable as other options

>Coin Dragons are an ancient form of currency, created in days long before the Collapse and Rebuilding.
>They are Dragons who are amicable to having there hoard moved from place to place, so long as the hoard itself is not diminished.

Does this sound reasonable?

With the dragon, sorry.

>taxes came at their appropriate times
Gee I wonder why.

What benefits should one of these provide as a familiar in pathfinder?

>deep in the bandits' underground hideout, a young lady sits, caged and despondent, her dress now tattered and threadbare
>she pays no heed to the flapping of leathery wings
>bats are pretty common, after all
>though she startles when the flapping thing lands in the cage with her
>in the dim light, she makes out a small, four legged form
>Vincent speaks up
>"Hey. Cornelia, isn't it? Name's Vincent, and I'm the rescue party."
>Cornelia looks worriedly at the chamber entrance
>"The- the bandits-"
>"Are occupied, because not all knights kill every dragon they meet."
>"I don't-"
>the little dragon shakes his head
>"Short version: questing does a hoard good. I'll explain later, but right now, I'm going to use dragon tricks to get you out."
>he leaps and flaps up to the cage lock
>the captive watches, interested in these "tricks"
>after a few seconds, Vincent looks back at her
>"It, uh, doesn't work as well when others are watching. Do you mind...?"
>Cornelia nods, then closes her eyes
>there's a sound of a small impact, metal jangling against more metal
>curiosity gets the best of her, and she reopens her eyes
>Vincent is flying right towards her
>suddenly, he grows rapidly, far too large to still fit in the cage
>then he's upon her
>everything about her surroundings changes
>cold, dry air gives way to hot, wet "air"
>an admittedly spacious cage bounded by hard bars becomes a claustrophobic, organic tunnel with constant contact with soft, fleshy walls
>and of course
>a calm, hopeful Cornelia turns into a panicked woman fearing for her life
>Vincent swallows one last time, and he's alone, a dragon the size of a kitten in a cage that could never hope to hold him
>he takes off again, to slip past the distracting melee once more, now with his payload
>
>

Meant to quote you in

>
>
>William holds his sheathed sword out towards Vincent
>the dragon obediently opens his mouth and lets his friend push the weapon in
>it pinches down to almost nothing as it gets to his jaws
>and in one smooth, practiced motion, Vincent swallows it, despite being less than a quarter its length
>"Thanks, Vince. So, nearly a dozen good sized diamonds, that gold necklace, and... maybe one-fifty silvers in coins? Guys were loaded."
>the little dragon nods, a small smile on his muzzle, and William continues
>"All and all, a solid succe- right. Spit her out, and one of the towels."
>Vincent's tail lashes back and forth
>"C'mon, one more hour? She's giving that half-elf a run for his money!"
>William shakes his head and holds out an upturned palm
>his companion snorts, then backs up, leaving ample space between them
>the dragon's head jerks a few times before he opens his mouth
>like the sword in reverse, a woman in soaking, tattered clothes "grows" from the reptilian maw
>soon followed by a towel, in a watertight container, which William quickly retrieved and offered to Cornelia
>as soon as she's able to stand, the woman dashes around the knight, putting him between her and the little lizard
>"What is that... that THING?! It ATE me!"
>Vincent tries to give her a cute, disarming smile
>and it might've worked, if he hadn't just eaten her
>"Vincent the hammerspace dragon, at your service. I work better than a lockpick."
>she glowers at him
>he smirks
>William sighs and shakes his head
>
>
>"It's getting late. We should camp and make it to town tomorrow."
>Vincent looked to William, whose shoulder he was riding on, and then to Cornelia, who was still watching him like a hawk
>"Hey, guess that means I get to eat you tonight."
>William stopped and turned to the dragon
>"What? No you d-"
>"We've only got one sleeping bag. Hey, Cornelia, bag or belly?"
>"'Rescue' be damned, dragon, if you so much as yawn at me I will get you slain."

>vore
>not even visceral hard vore

>
>
>Cornelia slept soundly in the sleeping bag
>Vincent relaxed in a nearby tree
>William settlesdin, laying unseen inside Vincent's belly
>"Hey, Vince, got a question for you."
>"Shoot."
>"So, you store a lot of my stuff, like swords, armor, poleaxes, treasure chests. I've seen you in progress, and it's really fast, even for the bulky stuff."
>"I'm a dragon of at least two talents."
>"I'm not gonna- anyway, I reckon you could devour an airborne ballista bolt if it was dull enough."
>"Heh, 'could.'"
>"Anyway, why's it take you like three minutes to eat me?"
>"I like eating tasty meals slowly, and you don't complain that I savor you. Opportunity seen and taken."
>the following morning, both humans were upset at the dragon for only slightly different reasons

Yep, welcome to hammerspace dragons. Their primary reason for existence is vore, with a very close second being weaponized cuteness.
Also for living onahole, but be wary about them asking for more to sate them

Shoulder sized dragons are the best, pic related.

>knight casually stuffs his sword down a dragon's throat
I usually see that as a euphemism on this board, but it's funny this way.

many thanks user. Fun, well-written story.

Oh, before I forget again
imgur.com/rwwyMW8

Muh Nigga
OG toothless best toothless.

I hope George lives on to become a Veeky Forums thing.

I've saved the pick, I'm intending to post him once every couple of weeks or so from now on. Because I like George.

Raise it. It surely will appreciate that.

that's like calling your daugther OJ simpson

Always nice to see your stuff

Not my fetish, but don't tempt me.

Always surreal to see people recognize me.

The book characters in general were better. Don't get me wrong, I like/lust after movie!Toothless, but the stuttering, egotistical garden dragon is best. Book!Stormfly is also superior to her counterpart in every way.
The movie was fantastic, but I'd LOVE to see a faithful adaptation of the books.

>Besides a steady supply of goblins and orks should keep it well fed.

Can you actually do that in Dwarf Fortress?

If it doesn't fit, you must acquit.

>housing me in the dragon
Little do you know, that's my fetish.

>A thief takes a bulky bag stolen from the hip of a very wealthy, very unlikely to stay for long, merchant.
>He takes it back to his gang of thieves and shows what's inside it.
>A small, red, dragon, nestled in a pile of gold coins.
>One of the members decide to pet it, because of course someone is going to pet the tiny dragon.
>It open is maw a lot wider than it really should, and in the center of it's throat pops me. Shouting, shouting basically this...
youtube.com/watch?v=V8HCC-YKRBc

Kill it and use its blood for powerful elixers.

Nah, man, you dress in a nice bowtie and top hat and start into Hello My Baby when your dragon opens up.

Between you and that greentext, I'm having a disturbingly easy time picturing someone casually climbing into a purse-sized dragon and having some form of a house there. Not like the dragon ate a house, but that the person added furniture and appliances and stuff to the dragon's stomach.

>the person added furniture and appliances and stuff to the dragon's stomach.

The lease terms for such an arrangement would make a good read

Well something exempting the dragon from having to pay for water damage is probably a given

>dragon can't digest tenant or tenant's stuff
>dragon has to let tenant in or out during X hours, given some amount of notice (like 5 minutes to end whatever conversation the dragon's having or something)
>restrictions on what items can and can't be refused
>dragon has to let tenant know where he is
>all food items must be inside inorganic containers; those that aren't may be treated as food for the dragon

>it's all deleted
Surprised, after 2 days of it up.

Aw... the green is gone

>oh no, they deleted the green
>ah-ha! They missed the pastebin link I'd dropped in the thread!
>ha ha ha ha h-
>it's a fucking imgur gif of Chat Noir pinned by his doppelganger
I played myself.

pastebin.com/XU2z7yu0
Here you go.

>>it's a fucking imgur gif of Chat Noir pinned by his doppelganger
Good tastes in both dragons and nondragons

Posting rare dragon from supremely comfy webcomic, now dead almost a decade.

Thank you, I pride myself that I've good taste in dragons and that I'd taste good to my dragons.

How soon do I find out what I snagged? Because if I got all the way home before I checked, I'd probably feed it something. Also surround it with all my gold.

Dragons live for a long time, right? So seeing this dragon to full size would probably take hundreds if not thousands of years.

I could see an expansive campaign being built around generations of people raising a dragon. Each generation might get one or two grand adventures as a result of raising the dragon.

No.

>you must rescue the dragon from the knight

Pat it.

>Look fatass, I can't aquit ALL your jeans!

>plan a massive campaign spanning the ages
>players quit on session 2 due to petty bullshit

>be pickpocket
>a typical day in the marketplace
>make rounds stealing from purses and pockets
>nab some trinket from noblewomans purse
>see this
What Do?

First question, is said noblewoman hot?

Perfect. I'm imagining that could be a good campaign during the second or third generation.

what is this some sort of muslim rosary?