Finally, Doritos for gaming. No more grubby cheese fingers on miniatures and cards

Finally, Doritos for gaming. No more grubby cheese fingers on miniatures and cards.

These should be standard in every flgs snack bar.

wgntv.com/2018/02/05/doritos-to-launch-lady-friendly-chips-for-women/

I just eat the salted doritos, love the texture and no messy fingers.

Just eat tostitos.

I'm salty just from reading the title

Just use chopsticks

Those are for Cheetos, you rube.

So...tortilla chips?

>The chips will not crunch as loud, will be less messy, and will come in packaging that's designed to fit in handbags.

Just add Lady in front of it, and you got a whole new product!

I mean, if you just make a solid product, won't women buy it anyway? Doritos just advertises to the gamerfuel crowd like Mountain Dew.

Maybe if they made their chips have a little less of that glass-shard feeling in the roof of your mouth right behind your top two front teeth?

That's not how this works, a product has to be made specifically for women if statistics are showing you that there's a sizable female demographic buying your product. If you can just repackage the same product but colored pink and with the exact same price attached to it, it's pretty much just free money. Why wouldn't you do it?

What makes a crisp lady friendly.

I've seen one woman describing this as akin to intentionally creating an unsatisfying dildo.

Its the same for lube, but for men.

You make your regular lube bottle, with a little class an elegance.
Then you package the same lube in a more EXTREME bottle with a generic superhero on the label, to make you feel like a hero as you fuck.

I learned this from walking into a dingy sex shop on the highstreet and the guy behind the till talking my ear off for an hour about his entire inventory.

It never really works, however. Most attempts to feminize products are met with marketplace apathy. Rationally, no woman is going to fucking go:
>"Finally, now I, a WOMAN, can eat Doritos!"
It's usually just another product line that's not selling and ends up costing more in unsold merchandise plus legal and ad expenses. A money sink as a branch of the general product line.

>Doritos that aren't blasted with artificial flavoring powder
Who's idiot idea was this? The actual chips are awful.

I had to write a paper on the "pink tax" and discovered all female personal care products wich supposedly are "the same or less for more money" in fact contain a shit more ingredients because women are corrosive or something. So the supposed tax ends up being one more case of women being emotional and playing the victim while getting pampered.
The teacher tried to fail me for the paper but I got the rector to revisit my grade because my paper covered every single point the teacher asked for. I bet she now prefaces her grading bullet points with "must agree with third wave feminist doctrine".

>I've seen one woman describing this as akin to intentionally creating an unsatisfying dildo
Sadly that may make it a better product for a large subsection of women. They do seem to get off on their own misery.

Who let /r9k/ in?

I can see the point- there are legitimate women’s products and shit. Not for when pens are marked a dollar more for women though. Same product different package that’s shit’s retarded. Seen it myself.

>Who let /r9k/ in?
Why do you think OP made this thread

Corn chips + salsa is way better than any kind of heavily flavored snack junk anyway

>Not just eating air puffed popcorn
P
L
E
B
I
A
N

It's for fat people

Mindless hate is /r9k/. That's not what happened here

>women are corrosive or something
What are you talking about exactly? I can think of many hypothesises on why it is necessary for female personal care products to cost more, but I don't know what you mean by "corrosive". Give me some examples.

This is a Veeky Forums thread.

One deodorant in particular had this ingredient that was specifically there to avoid yellow marks on clothes because women have lower skin surface pH and lesser skin hidration than men. So you're paying $0.70 more because your deodorant needs and extra ingredient to avoid your armpits baking the antitranspirant chemicals into your clothes, not because the label is pink.

>you literally have to send your papers to a higher power to not be failed on the whims of college professors
The absolute state of academia. Were you the only one in the class to do this?

I was the only one with the "pink tax" as a theme but other guys who disproved sexism also got low grades and I don't know if anybody else went to the rector for a revision.
It was an introduction to marketing class. It wasn't even gender studies or anything like that.

My problems with deodorant as a guy is those white deodorant stains. I could easily just be using too much deodorant, but I am extremely nervous about how I smell and being clean. I also use "white" deodorant instead of that translucent stuff that causes me to sweat.
Anyways, I think the word you're looking for is acidic, not corrosive, unless a woman's armpit is capable of dissolving away the deodorant into sweat.
There are a lot of feminist memes to look out for, such as how viagra is subsidized and feminine hygiene products are taxed. It's true that some states do in fact tax feminine hygiene products, but they tax other toiletries as well if they do. Viagra is a prescription drug that isn't taxed, but you could easily name female-only prescribed drugs that aren't taxed as well such as birth control.
Frankly I would always take everything a history, humanities, or social science professor's claims with a grain of salt, especially if they say things you may happen to agree with. Protect yourself from the bad memes.

I hope you get a good degree for having to deal with bullshit like that, user. Something tells me that it won't be the last time someone tries to fail you for being objective. I hope I'm wrong, though.

Just eat Lay's or some crackers you fucking hack.

This is what I eat during game night

>not serving your group a platter of meats and cheese
That GM detected.

>Not making your group home cooked chili

>not playing game all day and taking an hour break to eat pizza and talk about personal life stuff then getting back to the game after washing hands

...

unironically , fruit salad, a lil veggie platter, or something else that takes like 5-10 minutes to set up like trail mix. Shit's mad cash

You know, you could just take breaks to eat snacks that make a mess user. The DM knows that...right? You could also just, I don't know, use a napkin or wash your hands

>D&D&D&B
Dave and Busters should do a tabletop event like this, absolutely a bad idea but fuck it would probably attract a few fa/tg/uys

Not that guy, but there are ”womens" products or there that serve a slightly different role than their make counterparts: razors, for example, need to cover more surface area but less hair than a man's razor (except for swimmers, who use women's razors)

This, our groups dwarfen fighter is IC and OOC the best cook in the group.

For shit like deodorant and other scented hygene products it makes sense for there to be a product line for men and a product line for women. Men and women don't like having the same scents. Pheromones and shit.

For doritos, it's stupid, but for some things it makes sense.

>"chili"
>has beans in it

>"chili
>not cold

totinos
totinos
hot pizza rolls

Why does every sex shop worker do this if given the chance?
You come in to buy some random item and suddenly you've been chatting with the register worker for an hour or so over what lube is best for what or what's a good gag gift to buy etc.

>staple of the product for over 100 years
>my lesser and therefore ignorable opinion on the matter states otherwise
Found the C.A.S.I member.

Retail is a boring job

Even more boring when business is slow and the customers just want to get in and out while looking at the floor.

As soon as someone approachable enters and makes the mistake of giving an honest open reply they can't help themselves but try to quell the boredom.

I liked the gimmick doritos that were the same flavor but instead of simple triangles they were puffed up crisps

Not in the winter, I don't want to let the cold in and there's no way I'm not opening a window.

>flgs snack bar.
Is this actually a thing? In my local store they sell drinks but if you want to eat you have to go outside.

So they run a titty bar in your flgs?

>literally can't give a single reason beans make it worse, even a purely subjective one
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEs anyway
Veeky Forums is cheap whore the other boards rent out for nominally food-themed versions of their own shitposting.

Beans are bland and gritty. The texture of mostnis trash.

Greenbeans/stringbeans are okay though.

>Uses shitty canned beans
>Thinks beans are trash
I pity you

No, but I could put that in the suggestion box next time I go.

>Beans
>gritty

They were the mutant offspring of the radical and lawless food era known as "The 90's"

I've been tinkering with homemade sodas and snack foods as of late. Trying to recreate the Mango Heat Mtn Dew Gamer Fuel(that now only exists in Canuckland), and homemade Doritos. Doritos are fairly easy, just make homemade corn tortillas, adding nacho cheese powder in place of salt, then deep fry them as with normal homemade chips, then sprinkle more nacho cheese dust on top.
Same goes for Cool Ranch, except with a dry Ranch dressing mix.
Mango Heat is proving to be the harder part. You essentially boil sugar with water until supersaturated, adding in juice mixes and such for flavor. If you want it caffeinated, dissolve caffeine pills into the batch, but be careful with that shit, 1 pill is enough for an entire energy drink.
My problem is figuring out the balance of mango flavoring and Ginger Root to give it that nice hot aftertaste.

...

One anecdote I heard; They've got a regular who comes in basically every two weeks or what have you to buy another auto-suck toy.
Like no idea what he's doing with them but he seems to always want more of these non-disposal blowjob-recreation devices.

I need them for the machine.

But why not buy them in bulk?

>autosuck
That shit looks dangerous. Wouldn't put my dick there.

Such electronic automatic devices come in a variety of designs and brands.

You should take a trip to your local sex shop and discuss this issue with the guy working there, he'd most likely appreciate it.

...

they're not burritos

Why wouldn't you have beans in chili?

Or you could just take a break to eat something tasty with your friends and talk about something that isn't Veeky Forums related for once instead of stuffing yourself with shit like a dumb swine.

Where is all this pissyness coming from?

He's right to be distrustful. They don't make it clear there's sleeve sizes you have to specifically buy and the internal springs aren't the most durable so failures tend to be....harsh.

If you've gone so far the road of lonely self pleasuring you require a mechanized handheld machine instead of simply your own god-given hands do you really have much left to live for?

Muh nigga. However, hot cheese is also good.

Well LAH DE DAH mr fancyman...

>lady-friendly-chips-for-women

You have to understand user.
The hand, even with lube, is maybe a 2/10 on the richter scale of bodily pleasures. Once you try other options even sex makes a strong 7/10. Things like the autoblow, if used correctly, can push 8+/10 territory.
Call me selfish or hedonistic but I'm a man of science and just like science itself demands of us acts, experiences, and payments in the name of itself so to does our psyche and body which are merely a branch of science itself.

>The hand is 2/10
Almost makes me consider sex with thots.

I don't really enjoy sex, even when I cum its a non-event. The only part I like when I'm with a woman is the kissing and fondling them.

Jerking off to porn is all I need.

This might come across as odd but are you circumcised?

No I'm not Jewish and/or American.

I only ask as that was verbatim what I hear from those types.
You aren't taking pills of any kind or boozing are you?

They actually have a FGLS in Orlando that sells alcohol.
It's unheard off, but not impossible.

Mutilated-American here

It doesn't really matter, since as tool-using apes we can just, y'know, use some hand lotion or something. I guess if you were stranded in the desert and you really needed to be able to consistently beat off every day for a month it might matter. But that user is probably just fapping incorrectly, since it feels amazing.

Pills for depression.

I simply disagree. Chips+Salsa is inferior in terms of taste and game-snack-readiness. Doritos are the classic poor example but even they are much better than having to carefully carry a chip full of salsa across a table to your face.

That would do it. Not only can they kill libido they can kill the sensation and chemical dumps that come with that sort of thing. SSRI/SNRI?
Lotion doesn't solve the issues of a keratinized head or around 70% sensation loss from the loss of foreskin before the loss of sensation from growing up with an unprotected head or from the keratinized tissue on said head.

citalopram

That'd do it. It's an SSRI with a catchall side effect of "sexual problems"(ED, priapism, libido increase/decrease, ejaculation disorder, etc.).

Why are American crisps inferior to British crisps

Because america doesn't have crisps we have chips which is the correct term legally and factually speaking.

Its called a chippie, not a crispie.

Tough shit you dead and rotting empire. It's legally and internationally recognized that a fried slice of potato is a Chip just like Americanisms are now industry standard in all writing formats right down to academia of all countries even yours. Unless you're talking about a prostitute.

But what lies beyond Doritos and Mountain Dew? If an Alchemist can create silver and gold, what then is stopping him from creating Electrum?

Chips and queso.

...

Nothing. You've reached the epitome. Anything you make will never be "beyond" that trifecta of accomplishments.

>But what lies beyond Doritos and Mountain Dew?

Red Lobster cheddar bay biscuits.

Your mind is too small.
Noted. I'll put that on my list, right after Texas Roadhouse Rolls.

Pales in comparison to the monetary value of your previous recipes and the global dynamic change that could be brought about with its disseminatio or the wealth, favors, and control that could come by leveraging it against the companies.
A close second would be THE Original Coke recipe as well as the the "original" Coke recipe.
You think merely from the viewpoint of a single persons taste whereas I'm thinking from the viewpoints of everyone that is and that is to come and their very futures.
Someday a new world government will have their cheesy fingers in every pie of your grandchildrens diabetic and toothless lives while I look down on high in my hot tube of Coke eating platter after platter of state funded chicken nuggets.

OR I could release it under Creative Commons and topple the monopoly, forcing the company to innovate, or market convenience over market control, and providing the option for others to further innovate on the product. Soon the best Doritos recipe won't be the official Doritos brand, but the best homemade recipe.