One Vampire from each clan offers to embrace you, free of charge...

The one with the biggest titties
Thirty six flavors of titty!

You may theoretically have an eternity to experience life, but existence is still short. Enjoy the finer things while you can.

Can I go with Lilim? She seemed like an alright lady in the Gehenna book.

Ask them to all try turning me at the same time I'm curious as to what would happen.

Nosferatu obviously

The guys who get in shouting matches with stop signs?

Fuck yeah, sign me up.

Fuck that. Being a vampire sucks. That's like half the point of Masquerade. I think I'll stay a normie.

>implying there are any real normies left in the oWoD

You're probably secretly a fox shapeshifter from hell and haven't noticed yet.

>fox shapeshifter

If I'm a Kitsune that's even more reason for me to not wanna be Embraced. They instantly combust into a pillar of flame and burn to death whenever a vamp tries it -- which is funny, especially since they usually take the Cainite with them, but still sucks for me.

Like I said. There's so many supernaturals that if there were ever any 'real' normies, the Sabbat probably ate them by mistake already to feed the ancients in that castle in romania. I forget the name, the one that needs like 600 people an hour.

being a normie in that universe sucks too though.

Were there ever any rules for Lilim Vampires? Or was it just "fuck you, you're a vampire now but not, enjoy serving your new master"?

Learning the supernatural is real triggers my awakening. Union supremacy for ever!

Yeah, but at least I can eat food, go out into daylight, and not worry about having my soul sucked out because my sire had a high Generation background.

Sign up with the Technocracy. You could be the MiB, Ghostbusters, Umbrella Corp or X-COM and wipe the floor with the reality deviant scum.

Have all go at me at the same time.
I want to see the result. For Science.

Ah, I see you're an Enlightened Scientist of culture as well.

Either Tremere for vampire wizard powers,
or Nosferatu because I'm not that attractive anyway, and I like the idea of being part of a clan that isn't constantly trying to back stab each other.

The only acceptable answer is to CLEAVE AND SMITE.

They are looking for you at the Monster Girl thread, Red Order Paladin.

Toreadors are the one who learned to enjoy the finer things in life. Ventrue are just power hungry.

That meme isn't very entertaining, user. You should sit back for a bit and take a nap.

Which one lets me keep a degree of humanity where I don’t want to kill or dominate everybody, and I can spend the rest of my days as a blacksmith, perfecting my art?

You can bang humans but you don't get any pleasure out of it.

Tzimisce so I can mold my flesh into that of the little girl. And I've never liked leaving home much anyway.

>Malkoviches.
I fucking wish.

Kind of ironic that John Malkovich looks like a Nosferatu, though.

youtube.com/watch?v=Q6Fuxkinhug

The Khlan.

I don't actually play wod, what bonuses do nosferatu have? Because it seems to be all drawbacks.

Your Clan/Bloodline doesn't give you straight-up stat bonuses or anything of the sort; it just offers a set of three (or very occasionally more) Disciplines (vampire superpowers) that you can raise for less EXP than others and that can be learned without needing some sort of justification first (you can learn out-of-clan Disciplines, but at a higher cost, and you'd need to convince someone ingame to teach you them). Nosferatu get Obfuscate, Animalism, and Potence -- so, in other words, they're masters of stealth who can summon wild animals to do their bidding and can punch people really hard in the face.

Vampire's a very character and story driven game, so if you're looking at the Clans as builds or "classes" unto themselves then you're viewing it wrong. But if you do wanna view it that way then Tremere would be the best "class" since Thaumaturgy is fucking bullshit.

They all look like freaks. I'll pass.

Yeah but OP's post was a hypothetical in which you, in your real life, had to make the call on which you'd be.
If you discovered Vampires are real, which would suck least to be?

Oh, my bad. I thought you meant mechanical bonuses. In that case, your Clan is responsible for the flow of information in every Sect and heavily relied on for that purpose, so you're practically implacable as long as you do your job well (or make it seem like you are when you're actually shit at it). Because you dwell among a bunch of incredibly sneaky information brokers you also have a lot more natural access to that information than most do as long as you remain in the good graces of your fellows and can probably dig up dirt on others to suit your ends much more easily than, say, some random Brujah would be able to.

Pre-V20 you've also got your own magical internet server to fuck around and share info over. It's opened up to other clans a bit as of V20, but your Clan still has control over it and uses it the most out of all. So you can basically be the ultimate ugly NEET basement dweller.

Tremere. I know I should make my choice based on story reasons, but knowing when someone is lying, reading thoughts, and perceiving when someone has diablerized another kindred are all terribly useful and thaumaturgy is stupidly good. The power base and security that comes with the clan isn't anything to sneeze at either. They're kind of designed to win in every regard inside the Camarilla.

>It's like being a schizophrenic in control of their delusions.
That is not what being a Malkavian is like you goddamn shit.

Toreador might be your best bet, but none of them automatically make you into a slasher style monster. Toreador appreciate beauty.

Probably Brujah. Nice set of powers that offer both a physical as well as a social edge, though the lack of protean hurts, can potentially fit in in all spheres of society and have one of the less bothersome clan weaknesses.

Toreador's idea of "finer things" is staring at a blue-white checkered canvas in a fancy frame for hours.

I'll take money and power, thanks.

>Let the children have their dreams
>Shouting at signs and seeing truth in moon beams
>The broken mirror seers should have no choice in teams
>To choose Malkavian and KNOW what it means
>Is already too mad for memes

Ackchually.
Vampires still get physical pleasure from sex and eating. It's just that the biological urges and rewards to do so aren't there anymore, so most vampires don't see any reason to do it.
Toreador often have sex because there's something else in it for them - seduction, thrills, recapturing their humanity, whatever.
But if you don't have a goal or a psychosexual fuck-up behind having sex, it's like a particularly unsatisfying jerk-off.
Mainly, thanks to unlife as a Nosferatu being really shit otherwise, they're the only clan that cooperates, helps each other and shares information as a rule of thumb. Most of the time, you won't even have to get in debt to an elder for questions.
The Brujah do help their own, but half of them don't know enough and a lot make it worse. Malkavians help each other as a rule of thumb, but often neither party has any idea why.
Toreador use favors as currency, Ventrue only say what's convenient and the Tremere will not only stuff a neonate's head full of lies but expect a life boon in return.
The only clan that helps, shelters and protects its neonates without many strings attached is Clan Nosferatu.
Like says, it's a story-driven system, and that means Tremere are only "broken" if you look at it mechanically. Setting- and story-wise, the Tremere are by far the worst clan - secretive, backstabbing and favor-mongering, with a monolithic leadership that blood-bonds neonates, destroys traitors immediately and often counts innocent neonates as casualties because they were in the way of some Tremere's ambitions.
Imagine a whole major corporation filled with flunkies who all try to win points with the irrational boss by snitching on other employees and arranging for them to be fired, and you're getting close. Except the Tremere will blood-bond you until you've served your purpose, take your money and then likely kill you to tie up loose ends.

Tzimisce

I'd have to choose Tzimisce.
Experimenting with fleshcrafting without any regard for right and wrong, buried in anachronism and isolation in some Eastern European outback or European industrial hellhole sounds just like my cup of tea.

Bruja or Gangrel, physical powers are fun, and no one tries to make the brute responsible for anything because no one expects him to be able to handle it. I'll take eternity with no hassles, thanks.

I politely decline and get the cab driver to turn me instead.

Except Tremere have to deal with (arguably) the most dickish and controlling elders in the whole Camarilla
Not a bad choice if you need some structure in your life, though

Ventrue always seemed like itd be pretty pleasant.

Children of Osiris

For people of the right personality type - ladder-climbers, the socially dominant and ambitious - it's great, when you're 'winning'.
For everyone else... imagine you're a cast member in American Pyscho, except EVERYONE else in the movie is like Christian Bale.

Calm down Roman, vampires are not for sexual

>free of charge
That's not how it works. There is always a whole knot of strings attached

salubri or cappadocian
from vtmb ventrue
I'm a big fan of aus+fort

>no one mentioning gangrel

>It's like being a schizophrenic in control of their delusions.

So I can live in Equestria?

>tresure planet
holy shit i need to re-watch that. Holy shit i need to play a campaing in that

Assuming Caine agreed to turn you, what would creating another technically Second Generation change in the power balance, do you think?

Being literally too angry about almost Everything.
Killing people you care about cos they fucked somehthing up.
Find someone else to blame because you still angry.
Rinse.
Repeat.

>>less bothersome

see you in hell soon, neonate

Preach. Frenzy is useful in very specific circumstances, and the other 99 times it's a roll to not do the least constructive thing possible.

Toreador, definitely. Beauty, romance, passion, and creativity are the things I value most. Also, lots of hot older female Toreador to indulge my submissive side with.

...

Either Tremere or good ol' Technocracy. I just want to do science.

Either Lasombra or Ventrue, could never reallt decide

It's better than being ugly as sin.
It's better than being howling mad.
It's better than looking like a furfag 200 years in.
It's better than only being able to feed on one kind of faggot.
It's better than being everyone's bitch in a giant pyramid scheme.
It's better than carrying dirt to wherever you go.
It's better than causing horrific pain whenever you try to feed.
It's better than looking like a corpse.
It's better than turning into a Salamander tier nigger.
It's better than being a slave to your vices.
It's better than being a friendly neighborhood vampire, who can only feed when allowed to.

I choose humankind

Vigil it is then.

Immortal wouldn't be too hard though, purification rituals are completely harmless, Eternal is completely harmless despite, and bathing could be harmless (if still creepy) if you chose a chill enough ritual, just buy a gallon from a bloodbank every month, though you also wouldn't be very powerful.

Don't go body thief, patchwork, or arisen though, too easy to end up hunted for crimes against humanity. Warden is purely by chance. And Visitor and Reborn are too easy to break.

Or just go Harvester and join the Vigil too. "Sure I'm a spooky, but to stay spooky I have to eat other spookies, enemy of my enemy, right?"

What clan is yupiel, I pick that clan

Honestly being a friendly neighborhood vampire would probably be fine. Just find some slutty Hot Topic girl and convince her that you're a vampire in a way that doesn't break the Masquerade and then she'll probably think you're drinking her blood as some cool fetish thing.

What really is the difference between Lasombra and Ventrue besides the former having shadow powers? They seem to have had the church and state thing going on in effect it seems like the one runs the Camarilla and the other runs the Sabat.
Thinking of running a vampire game so someone please explain.

Caitiff, Toreador or Tzimisce. Brujah could work too.

All the others enjoy little freedom due to being member of tightly organized clan or are significantly crippled in some way and in most cases it is both.

Nosferatu, because fuck other people.

Can I be a good splat instead, like Mage or Genius or Sin Eater? I don't want to be a dead goth

They are really similar, but I'd say the most differing factor is the way they like to influence. Vent have dom+pre, which is kind of subtle manipulation when compared to lasombra's pot+dom, which is more like "this is what I tell you, now do so". Maybe something like this makes sense, ventrue are more like diplomats or traders, when lasombra have a more tyrannical approach. Also there are some severe ontological factors or lore/story differences, but I'm guessing you were asking from a mechanical point.

>tightly organized clan
Toreador are one of those.
>significantly crippled
Brujah are this. Increased frenzy difficulty is as bad as half the derangements.

Lore and story wise I am also interested. Infact slightly more so.

depends on how much time we have left before the end and what was The first Vampire's motivation for this.

Dont forget - generation is just a way to measure potential, not power

They melthuselahs are godlike because of age

I think you skipped Toreador there senpai

I start smiting and I don't stop until all the vampires are fucking dead.

w wolf wiki can help you there to some degree, unless you have a shitload of books/pdfs already

I'll take Toreador. The VTM Bloodlines test says I'm Toreador by a swell margin. What does that say about me besides I'm a massive faggot?

Just have the v20 book and the dark ages book, you wouldn't happen to be able to point me in the direction to look would you, or maybe give a quick summery.

hmmmmmmm most of my energy went in to pressing the previous ms. Wwolf wiki with search terms such as ventrue and lasombra give plenty of interesting stuff. Though I'd advise asking in the wod general. The state of those threads are silly and have been for a long while, so you asking a fluff question might steer the thread to a more productive direction. Also there's people who know way more than I do.

thanks will do

Ventrue are corporate and Lasombra are clergy. Ventrue were knights and bankers, Lasombra were pirates and merchant sailors. Ventrue need control, need a claim and resources to protect it or they can't feed themselves, and wind up treating everybody like a commodity. Lasombra need underlings, need servants even to tell them if they have anything on their faces, and start constantly testing everyone because they can't ever be assured.

youtube.com/watch?v=ILmxk5XWYX8

youtube.com/watch?v=OHgvbBIlg6s

Ventrue because money, power and mental domination.

Second choice: Tremere, because mages.

I'd instead take each vampire and force them into living with each other under one roof, make a reality TV show out of it, and become rich and famous

Ravnos. Their ante is already dead and their Gehenna already happened. Or Giovanni to be a gangster necromancer.

Tzimisce. Andrei was actually a cool guy considering the crap the other vampires were getting into. I'm already a medical major and he'd have a lot to teach me about viccisitude and pushing the limits of the human body. I'd go path of honorable accord and study to become the best fleshshaper I can, rivaling the Giovanni in my mastery of living and dead flesh. Plus they have a merit that allow them to learn Thaumaturgy similar to the merit that allows Tremere to learn viccisitude as an in-clan natural discipline. Plus OG vamps like Andrei tend to have issues adapting to new technology and they tend to embrace the newer generation not only for their skills but so they have someone that can help them as tech support.

Pt 1
>Get a call from Andrei
>Blessed Night to you Childer, I heard that you had an unfortunate scuffle with those traitors Tremere.
>Yes Master Andrei, however it was a precarious surprise when I found out that the Tremere had made a temporary alliance with the Giovanni.
>How so Childer?

>I was unprepared for the Giovanni and her undead minions but fear not, I adapted and used your lessons to defeat them.
>Really? Do tell Childer, no one likes a tease.
>The Giovanni had implanted retractable wooden stakes within the upper Radius and Ulna of her zombies. While slow they tried to overwhelm me and put me into topor with clumsy stake routines.
>That sounds nasty, do go on.
>That vile Tremere was supporting her with Thamuaturgy that increased the zombie's vigor, giving them increased speed and durability.
>Absolutely Ghastly, but you succeed in dispatching them of course?
>Yes master Andrei, their pride led them to belive the battle was won when instead I used a mixture of vissicude and my mortal surguical techniques to implant a gas tank into one of their zombies. I had to fleshshape my arm off to make them think they defated me but the zombie that delivered my arm to them had the gas tank in his vile guts. You should have seen the look on their face when I took control my detached arm and used my pocket lighter hidden in my sleeve. I lost the arm but they're nothing more than ash now.
>Deviously Delightful Childer! I expect no less from one of my pupils.
>Thank you master Andrei, you're too kind.
>One thing I need to ask before we meet for our weekly rituals.
>Yes master Andrei?
>Need a hand?

>gets killed by the first Toreador

I want to be embraced by cute police girl and call her Mistress, but I'm not sure what's her clan and gen.

Being turned by Caine would probably kill you.

But assuming you lived it would make you an overday celebrity with just about every Kindred faction.