Your character is shopping in a potion store, when suddenly a bunch of armed guards bust down the door...

...

Respond to their strange greeting in kind, with hopes they won't see through my attempt to blend in as a local

>old men wiped out a room full of aggressive npcs using magical powers of knee osteoarthritis

He walks out without giving a shit and slaps the anime girl in the face

ask if I can give the loli cat girl a head pat.

My character would be more worried about the Ayy Tee Eff. At least he doesn't have a dog.

The stars cleared from my vision, though they left a film behind, perhaps.

The shop was unrecognizable. Glass shards littered the floor, and potion liquid dripped down the walls and off the ceiling. Here and there the bases of shattered flasks on shelves sat like some jagged pitcher plant or flowers upon lilies. Vibrant green beads of potion capillaried backwards along cracked glass, almost like each potion was being refilled by some unseen agent.

The store was ruined, scorch marks and the bits of singed meat where enforcement agents and other customers were once breathing.

Sorrow spread like a parasitizing fungus throughout me once more, pinning me where I lay.

In that darkness, the one memory that never stopped pounding behind dreams, forging them into nightmares once more pounced upon me, like some pale lumbering, blind cave horror.

I was strong and young then. My eyes were so sharp, and the sun beat brightly as I watched a hawk sail overhead. I turned to my lover, and touched her hand.

For a while I lived once again in those happy memories - years of adventure and health raced by, but always towards the same inevitable point.

My lover and I fought back to back, surrounded by robed cultists, led by a most horrid man, a warlock. As we struck down man after man, the warlock chanted in a voice of Plutonian quakes and grinding glass, always building in volume.

The world was unraveling, I could feel it in between the air, sliding between my wife, further away, though she remained right where she stood.

As she slew a wild-eyed cultist, the Warlock's speech suddenly shifted to very mundane swearing. Gone was that eldritch power, just an angry man screaming blasphemies.

He hoped we exploded. Spectacularly.

He foreswore his soul to the very Devil that such would come to pass, as he fled into the night. We cut down his men, and returned homewards, thinking nothing of it... Weeks later, when we returned to our town, we learned otherwise.

No.

My wife, drunk and dancing on the rooftop, slipped and fell off. When she hit the ground, she exploded. Spectacularly.

Ever since, I lived my life in mourning, horror, and stupor, always afraid. Afraid that if I fell, I too might explode. And so I grew old, and in pain. Careful, I was.

As I stared at the carnage, I questioned why I was alive.

Why!?

The cursed explosion might have doused my dying body with healing salves.
Perhaps it was.merely a joke on the part of the gods, or the Devil.

The last thing I remembered was a huge crash, with no survivors.

I am gonna pet that cat. I am going to take that cat to bed and administer heavy petting.

who in their right mind would let their son go to his job dressed like that?

Drug Enforcement Administration.

AKA the bad guys in Breaking Bad.

Get on the ground. I thought the store was on the up and up and was shopping under that assumption and if they ask me I'll say as such. If they decide to let me go then it's all good; if for some reason they decide to detain me then I'll wait for the party to find me and our paladin whom I swear was a lawyer in a past life to get me out of the situation. The only way this ends poorly is if they decide to get rough as my character can (and has) beat an ogre to death with his bare hands while being butt-ass naked. Not very much a few guards can do to stop that in an enclosed environment.

Right. That son should wear black pantyhose instead.

Is my character also a cute Catgirl? This is important.

I seduce them with the power of hand-holding

And red eyeshade!

Okay, I'll be the guy.
Source on the cute girl?

...

FKey

Look them up on Danbooru.

You do know you can click that little arrow at the top of the post and go down to image search to find it, right?

>mfw my current character is and intelligent undead and very bitter about that fact

He'd probably assume they were fucking with him and botched trying to spell "dead" twice and respond with "OH GET FUCKED YOU ASSHOLES. HOW DID YOU IDIOTS MANAGE TO FUCK UP SPELLING "DEAD" TWICE? MY BRAIN IS LITERALLY HALF ROTTED AND I CAN STILL SPELL PROPERLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?". Also bullets. An unhealthy amount of bullets.

Sasuga edgelord.

>eyeroll.jpg

>edgelord
Kek. The guy just wasn't all that bright in life and is very bitter about being a shambling corpse that people constantly freak out at and attempt to re-deadify. Mistaking guards shouting DEA for a bunch of assholes preparing to try to put him back in the dirt while misspelling "dead" is well within the realm of possibility for this sort of situation.

>shopping
bitch my current character RUNS the alchemist shop.
also
>"How's an honest goblin supposed to run a business like this? This is harassment! Your superiors will be hearing about this!"

He curses himself for not being in his mecha and throws one of the potions st the ground in front of the DEA, creating a small explosion. He pushes himself through them and makes a run for his ship

What game are you in that has potions, ships, and mechas?

What if her superior is is Jake Dagger?

Sounds like fun. I wanna know too.

It’s a fantasy story I’m writing sorry to disappoint but if you really want to try Xenoblade please no bully

>writing Xenoblade fanfiction
To what end.

you actually believed the legitimate business line?

Nobody said "legitimate."

I’m not writing a fanfic
I rarely play table top rpgs and only have small exp with DnD 3.5
I just come here for help writing my genre cuz Veeky Forums is trash. I’m writing two stories and the second one has a .hack or xenoblade chronicles feel, but there is some space travel. The other one is regular high fantasy