A bridge troll wishes to elucidate on the legality of paying a toll to him

Since I don't negotiate with terrorists.

>I prepare hold monster whilst the rest of the party readies fire to burn this creature

He says "look, I swear I didn't steal this joke from SMBC, honest".

It's around noon, so could I just invite him up to share a meal instead? If he maintains the bridge then surly a good meal and good company would hold the same value as coin?

"I normally charge less, but you never paid child support for your son, dad."

If the King's roads and King's bridges aren't free then I've already paid. Unless he can show a writ of authority it's my duty as a King's Man to dispatch him and return all he's stolen.

It sounds like you're saying "boy's hole".

Pay him is due, & then cast magic reinforcing or improving the bridge in some way.
Inform the nearest authority of the crown I come across of his presence & double check his creditials. Encourage them to legitimize him if he isn't legitimate already

If you maintain the roads where is your mason tools and other tools to work on the road?

It's an evil campaign so we're probably just gonna kill/rob him no matter what he says

Don't you also risk burning up the bridge by doing that?

Taxation is theft. I prepare to smite evil.

So?

If he owns the bridge crossing without paying the toll would be a violation of the NAP.

>tfw you're not exempt from taxes and still have to pay the toll

Wouldn't the especially poor already avoid these bridges since they know they'd have to pay a toll?

>No reason to get into a fight over a few measly gold pieces.
It's not about the gold, it's about justice.

Have him literally hold up the bridge.
Don't pay, fall and get eaten.
Kill him, no more bridge.

Are road tolls unjust, then?

One gold per head? My word, that can't be the rate, can it? That's a day's pay for most folk! Over a week's for the laborers!

If these are the taxes we're paying for the bridge, it's a wonder people aren't avoiding this road altogether!

But he is in the employ of the crown, which created the bridge by seizing the land from its rightful owners with usurped authority. The presence of this land as being under his de facto control is a violation of the NAP in and of itself.

It depends.

>The local magistrate sends bounty hunters to drag you in front of a court for failure to pay troll

I wonder if this is a plot from a local noble to limit his peasant's mobility. If they can't afford to leave to other regions and find more generous lords, he is free to misuse them.

I shall have to take this matter to the magistrates. If the roads are a common good, then clearly this toll is too high, depriving the common of full use of that good.

Unless there is a pricing schema in place, and the rate is simply for adventuring parties, in which case I'd like to see the schema in question. Maybe if we re-classify ourselves as guards to a merchant, our fee can be reduced.

...

>tfw you try to smite a terrorist but become one yourself as you sow terror by killing a civil servant
Shame

The full charge would be

>The murder of a crown agent.
>Destruction of government property.
>Illegal possession of weapons (can't have peasants running around with swords and flails after all.)
>And finally failure to pay the bridge toll.

>And finally failure to pay the bridge toll.
Actually, failure to pay the bridge TROLL is a separate criminal offense on the books.

One gold piece? That's outrageous! That's well over three months wages for a journeyman, let alone one of the low folk! The magistrate will hear about this!

>"Fine, but ye gots ta cross teh bridge. So that'll be one gold..."

Would that mean you would have to pay two gold then? One for the troll, one for the bridge? Also

>Murder of a tax collector.

I'm pretty sure at this point whoever murdered the government troll is getting a death sentence.

Bah. Ten pennies, sure. Fifteen even. But a whole gold? Absurd. I'd sooner ford the river

Trolls are an endangered species, so it warrants an additional fine.

>"Well have at it then. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Actually, I've got a better idea.

Ah, the toll is only for merchants, migrants, and travelers such as yourselves. Local laborers pay a reduced rate. If you are on a religious pilgrimage, you may cross for free after I see your pilgrim visa or equivalent clerical permission.

"Trolls" are actually a magical life form, not unlike Gargoyles, created by the King's Wizards to provide self-move-able bridges that don't rely on Stonemason's Guild. The humble donation required for crossing is to pay for spell ingredients and help keep these lowborn masons' down.

If you don't pay, the troll will just stand up and there won't be a bridge for you to cross.

Eat shit
t. druid's circle

>the troll smiles at you
>"Heh, about time."

>hope you had an engineer and a contractor look that over
>some serious fines you're looking at

Church exemption, since it also counts as a form of religious expression.

"Migrants"? "Travelers"? What do you mean by that? I'd have accepted the accusation of "adventurer", but cloaking it in 'traveler' carries the whiff of deceit.

You should speak to your lord about clarifying the language. "Any man bearing about him arms and armor of chain or better" covers your basic knights and mercenaries, "Any man or woman bearing the implements of the arcane arts, e.g. a wand, stave, staff, robes, glowing sigils of power, etc." covers your magi, sorceresses, and clerics.

Though, if I were your lord, I'd look at building in discounts for those bearing instruments, to promote the conduct of bards, who are likely to remember the region well for its generosity, and to liven the days of his peasantry, and perhaps for anyone bearing arms and armor who is pursuing any form of prophesied quest or mission. Those buggers can be very hotheaded if questioned or delayed.

Do churches get to ignore OSHA?

...

OH SHIT IT'S A MONSTER KILL IT

I find it funny an equal amount of people are antagonistic to this troll, not because he is a monster, but because he is a tax collector.

Good enough. Here you go.

Frankly, I would inform him that the Guild of Mages have been contracted to use Wall of Stone spells(taking the extra time to render them permanent) to construct cheap, durable bridges, and that he is now being laid off, effective immediately.

Can I pay Incase style?

>"Why wherever we go there's always some bloody king making us pay some bloody taxes"
>Looks at the troll and turns to party member
>"Hey Wulfrion, we finally found someone more handsome than you"
>"Anyway, take your goddamned coin and leave us be, beast, we have no time to waste on you"

>What does ge say to convince you?
YOU GOTTA PAY THE TROLL TOLL

I'd question how he got a badge of office, from who, and where.

I think you have not grasped the essence of murder hoboism as a life style.

> Implying that King isn't the rightful owner of all his lands
What are you, a commie?

Only if you are a female goblin or halfling

Isn't this a thing in the Witcher? I'm fairly sure there's a quest in the second game where the troll that maintained a bridge and collected tolls for the town became depressed because his mate died or went missing so the bridge fell into disrepair but he kept charging tolls.

I didn’t vote for no king or trolls under bridges to tax me.

>playing L5R
>a troll guards a bridge
>implying we wouldn't kill the tainted abomination from afar
pic related

Pretty sure that's an InCase comic

>Of course, my good troll. If I'm to cross the bridge, I shall pay you. But do remind me of the laws, do I also have to pay a toll if I'm to cross the airspace over the bridge? For, you see, I recently learned how to fly.

>Reginald the Peasant goes to the Troll Bridge
>The troll lets him through since a kind adventurer payed money for those too poor to cross
>Reginald returns later in the day, with no money
>The adventurer's money has been used up
>He cannot cross to get home
>Reginald gets eaten by the troll

"I believe your royal pilot's license covers the airspace. As you are not using the bridge, it is not my jurisdiction."

>Reginald really was an idiot, and it's good to get him out of the gene pool.

A whole gold coin to cross a bridge is ridiculous

would you not be?

In all seriousness I'd love to run this encounter past my players but we stopped playing dnd and went to starwars saga edition.

Rancor Toll.

This is true, but its also incredibly insignificant to any and all adventurers past their first haul.

That's 10 days of labour for a peasant, or 5 days for skilled labour depending on which edition we use. I mean, they're all terrible for actual economies of scale, but its not really the point of dnd to get that shit right. Dungeons and Tax-Law doesn't have the same ring to it y'know?

I piss in his mouth

That intelligently speaks to them about taxation supporting the infrastructure of the kingdom and being a duly appointed servant of the crown?

At least in

Is he a tax collector because he's a troll, or a troll because he's a tax collector?

Not much. After pointing out that the toll is only 3 coppers per head and the river is inconveniently deep and wide, I grumble hand hand over 2 silvers and change.

...What? If we fought we'd probably set the bridge on fire.

That's rather chaotic of you.

I'm gonna go with yes

Is he actually a servant of the crown? If so, we pay him and pass.

>The Knights remove their vows and wholesale slaughter the entire peasant revolt.

How would you know?

Pay the troll his rightful toll.

Have fun starving to death idiot

Are you retarded? It’s taxation without representation is tyranny. He’s given you the reason why you’re being tolled, now pay him or fuck off

for the most part, yeah trolls in the witcher ain't evil and actually give maintenance to bridges
kings and lords mostly don't give a fuck because the trolls tend not to be abusive and take care of that issue without costing them anything

Ya’know, this is really starting to sound like racial profiling

He would have papers or a badge of office

nah man, the commies want to put him in the gulag

Hey, some of the Dathomiri rancor could read, and even write. That's without even being mutated by Sith sorcery!

If my religion tells me I can bomb the castle, then does that make it okay?

...

>or else I'll eat you
Violence is in it's own way a golden standard

Yes.

>Bridge troll who appreciates the maintenance of infrastructure

Oh god my heart.

>Implying we won't just use the smart peasants
>The ones who didn't revolt

Nothing, we are too honorable to be coerced by a troll.

Honestly as typical adventurers he had me at "one gold piece".