When did you realize you were playing with brainlets?

Wouldn't your verbal score be lower if you were dyslexic?

Just a question; would the bandits be looking for intruders if they had caused the fire by calling a lightning bolt on an overcast/raining night?

>A few bandits run out to combat the fire and search for those responsible
Why? Were you just trying to play along?
Because 500ft away is incredibly far, and a "fortress" suggests stone walls to me, why would they be worried?

I remember that thread. Let’s all agree to not repeat it here, it was a complete shitshow.

In that specific test, you only have to recognize words you've seen previously in the test, ie pattern recognition. I didn't have to spell the words, so I'm fine. In the numbers one, you have to memorize strings of numbers correctly. Memorization is where I fucked up because I transposed two numbers between my eyes, my brain and my fingers.

>"What do I roll to hit?"
Forgivable.
>"What do I roll to hit, again?"
>and again, and again, and again...
Unforgivable.

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;

Tee-hee-hee. Maccaroni Maccaroni

Tee-hee-hee. Maccaroni Maccaroni

And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting

TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shitl Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes user again! No fun allowed around user! user's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

not really hate. does one hate a rat for being a rat?

I wonder if this was legit the first time it was posted

Slightly above average, verbal memory was 90% tho.
And pretty sure htat reaction was fucky because of me living in a shithole.

When they started addending -lets to show their derision of people.

He's the bane of your existence because you're a brainlet.

52|68|73|75.
Which is funny, because I'm not a good student but I'm a good problem solver.

Shut up letlet

No, but as I tried to explain to them fires don't just start themselves and a fire starting at night with no lightning or apparent cause is suspicious as fuck. Problem was they kept insisting their plan made perfect sense.

Why wouldn't they combat the fire?

>stone fortress is not flammable
>fire is as far from the fortress as a skyscraper is high anyway

Unless they had crops or something why would they give a fuck? Just let the fire burn out, it probably won't even reach the walls, and if it did what damage would it do?

52/46/89/83
Guess I'm a bit slow, huh.

Kneel before me

Your just assuming its made of stone. A fortress could be wood

See

When I was the only one at the table who had any understanding of probability even though I've never taken a course in it.

You'd make a pretty good wizard, user.

When they didn't understand my Rick and Morty references.

Just wouldn't be going high in the initiative order

Currently not playing with brainlets, even if they look like they are. They just understand doing non-optimal things and manipulating the GM is more effective than playing smart. They're smart, but lazy.
On the other hand, I've played with people who forgot that paladins have an anti-fear aura, or that white mages can heal people, or that the GM puts absurdly high checks on climbing ladders in armor.

lol people's lives are so sad that i bet people hack the reaction speed test to "have" godlike reaction time.

>tfw in the 93rd percentile for verbal memory

>giant rolling siege wagon attacks city along with hordes of orcs
>invisible cleric on top controlling it
>he drops invisibility to attack
>they kill him
>finally go to his body looking for something useful
>decide to throw them a bone by leaving a note showing hand signals to stop and start the thing
>intend for them to realize that it wasn't cleric commanding it but rather enemies in the forest nearby
>instead they get confused and waste a round climbing on top of it
>get mad at me when it fails to stop
>explain that it was a signal
>they still don't understand
>claim that someone couldn't see from that far away even though spyglasses exist
>explain this
>after session one player emails me the Alexandrian three clue rule article
I still dont know who was being retarded here. They're the same party who never took prisoners or questioned anyone about the organization they were fighting and as a result got constantly btfo

>only feature of the room is the large carpet
>barbarian and Rogue immediately think to check under it.
>Rogue uses Mage Hand in case it's trapped.
>Hey look, an arcane sigil that's probably a trap
>Rogue uses Mage Hand to make a chalk circle around it, tell the party to not touch it
>Rogue goes to another room to look for a secret door
>Warlock immediately throws a jar of dirt on the sigil to "see what it will do"
>everyone but the rogue takes 22 Fire Damage as the room explodes.
>110 Damage total, more than all of the damage that monsters had dealt to us in the last four levels combined

Probably the people on the leader board yeah. I think 100ms is the cap for the test itself, because It's inhumanly fast. If I remember my biology correctly it takes 120ms for a signal to even be sent to the brain, so for them to process the colour change and respond to it in that time would be ridiculous.
possible they just try to preempt the colour change or have figured out it's timing or something

>be GM
>party scout triggers trap by walking up the middle of a dark corridor
>rolls badly and ends up losing nearly half his HP
>all of that damage was to one of his legs, which is currently smashed between two sliding blocks of granite
>rogue is currently stuck in place and loudly screaming in a mostly unexplored dungeon
>party stands around trying to free him
>dosent put anyone on watch
>dont pick up on the hint when i ask multiple times if anyone is on lookout

>they are surprised when they end up ambushed and trapped in that corridor
>i even gave them rolls to hear a couple enemies scouting ahead, going to get friends and coming back instead of just saying "oh fuck orcs appear"
>they absolutely panic and end up being routed by CR 1/3rd creatures
>highlights include the sorcerer accidentally his own party with a badly aimed Flaming Hands (using an actual cone diagram on the playboard and everything)
>the fighter drops his tower shield to start two handing and gives up the immense tactical advantage he gave to himself and the person behind him
>at one point during their escape one of the players legitimately got lost in spite of having the actual map of their explored areas available on the table - they died running full sprint into a room that had a marked trap

3/5 party members died, including the rogue who was abandoned to his fate two turns after initial contact with the enemy. I have never seen such visceral panic before, especially in a turn based game with no rush placed on decision making. The sorc who friendly fired just looked at the board, said "we need to go that way" and threw down his fire cone before I could even say 'r u sure faggot?' within 5 seconds of his turn starting.

I wasn't running a particularly deadly campaign and the party had done well so far. I still have no fucking idea what happened there to be honest.

oh ok it doesn't even penalize you for getting too soon. You can just keep guessing when it'll turn green and get lucky. I got 32ms one time.

Epic copypasta
We'll absolutely remember this a year from now

>Complaining about quality of free food and drinks

Shitty players often get stuck with shitty groups user.

>quotes a post where someone also just assumes that the fort is made of stone

>PvP over dumb ass reasons
>GM wonders why the party is out of control when the GM keeps giving them magical items
>GM has instant death traps
>Some of said traps you don't even roll for a save
>GM rules layers over stupid crap but twists other rules to screw people over
>GM plays favorites
>GM also keeps flip flopping on established lore rules to once again screw people over
>The party holds up the game up to 5 minutes at a time deciding to go left or right
>Half the party have obnoxious personality's to be the funny guy
>Being obnoxious also holds up the game for 5 minutes

I'm redirecting you to my own post dumbass, my point was that from the very beginning a "fortress" has implied stone to me, and as of yet the user telling the story hasn't said it wasn't

No, all quests were all bad and all ugly. It's good that they're dead now, banished to a dead board, so we can have more quality threads like this, and more importantly threads discussing every possible facet of 40k.

God, I hope so.

Second session
>DM hasn't read the rules, gets pissy when we don't follow his railroad
>railroading intensifies
>player 1 wants to be both Arthurian level of virtuous and deus vult level of smiting with anyone who disagrees with him, since disagreement = evil
>player 2 is follows player 1 like a puppy
>player 3 sits so much on the fence, he built a house there
>player 4 has already disappeared because roleplay is hard and there's not enough combat

It only got worse from there.

>tfw my group had nearly this exact thing happen to them
Only difference was it was a group of 6 with only two survivors.

Rate me Veeky Forums

fug

how do i keep fucking this up

...

>humanbenchmark.com/dashboard

Who exactly is this build by and why should I treat this site any better than all the rest "measure your IQ online" trash?

There is no reason why, it's just for anons in threads like these to feel superior to others. So go do the test so we can laugh at you.

Because unlike IQ tests that have to be designed a specific way to actually measure IQ, 3 of the tests measure short term memory and 1 measures reaction time. They're not measuring anything special, and they rate you based on the average scores of others. Don't be a sperg, take the test

I'm the brainlet of my group. It sucks because I try very hard to not do stupid things.

Number Memory: 71%
Reaction Time: 20%
Verbal Memory: 98%
Visual Memory: 87%

>be dark heresy group full of smart guys
>sit around for hours trying to come up with a plan because someone can always find a flaw in proposed plans

When nobody could calculate falling damage after me trying to tutor them for 2 HOURS so they tried to house rule guesstimation based on its "size". Big rocks, big damage.

When I realized that to them, scheming to betray the party was the norm.

I brought my own snacks after that, dude. No need to be hostile.

19% 16% 70% 65%
Be honest anons am I retarded?

Kind of yeah. Looks like you memorized less than seven numbers, that's not normal.

You are min-maxed

Feh, I had expected my inherent sperg nature to make me good at the last test but no. Though, as a GM, word memorization is the only thing that really counts.

Take it again some other time, see if there's a difference. In education, the theoretical problem with exams is that nobody's at 100 percent all of the time, and all you're testing is how well they perform at that exact second/minute/hour.

Congratulations user, you just learned why ambushes are a thing.

19/45/55/50

Well, I might be on the spectrum of autism, but at least I try and act nice in my group.

What happened next

turth to be told I got bored with copy paste at the numbers test after a while.

>Party members keep killing every single npc they see, because the npcs are mostly lizard people,orcs and kobolds and the party thinks "Green skin=evil" and most of the party are paladins
>They keep killing off the plot relevant npcs, so the story cannot proceed
>This has happened six times now

number:19%
reaction:46%
verbal:92%
visual:12%

Verbal memory is ez mode. And my native language is Russian too.

>letlets
ftfy

You fucked up posting an image, m8. You're fucking stupid.

I did way better on that than expected. My worst was number memory, at 67%, reaction time was 83%, verbal memory was 97%, and visual memory was 87%.

Smarty-pants.

i used to be much better at memorizing numbers ive gotten sloppy

Swear I used to have better reaction time.

I figure maybe a cleric?

I find this result hilarious, considering I'm a math major.